//------------------------------// // “I am not humping anything!” // Story: Warriors // by PseudoFiction //------------------------------// From the window Ishmir had a clear view of the nearest alien warship; a purple pear-shaped blot in the sky above the rooftops to the northwest of the city. Even behind the gold tint of his visor Ishmir had to squint as white-hot plasma erupted from the warhip’s prow. A waterfall of ionised gasses splashed down in a boiling veil. Then the ship inched forward, leaving a blackening plume of smoke and steam. There were hundreds of inky plumes drifting in the first ship’s wake, framing the dozens of other Covenant ships joining in the systematic slaughter of the colony’s citizens. Ishmir had witnessed the same event all across the galaxy. When the Covenant started glassing, it never ended well for the humans on the receiving end. But there was no point weeping over those who fell. There were too many to count, too many to fathom. Ishmir had to keep his head. He had to keep fighting for those still breathing. He had to fight to keep them in that state. A pair of bulky olive green blots blocked the view for a moment. The heat of the air pushed from the pelicans’ VTOL thrusters washed through the broken window for a moment and Ishmir gave the tinted canopies of the drop ships a brief wave. The marines from dirty-coy were on their way out with so many forces like them. But the Spartan pair from flintlock still had some business planet-side. Their extraction would come soon enough. Or then perhaps maybe it would not. It didn’t matter really. So long as Ishmir and Marko could finish their mission. Thankfully the extracting pelicans of dirty-coy had left the headhunters a little care-package to help them on their way into hell’s gate. A top-up of ammunition, newly polished sidearms on their hips and brand new rifles, one of which hung diagonally across Ishmir’s back. Patting the front end of his assault rifle, Ishmir went to join Marko and Twilight Sparkle sitting by the equipment crates they had lugged in. The small purple horse had elicited a few odd looks from the marines helping the Spartans set up their gear, but they had kept their questions to themselves. She was chilling with Spartans. If that didn’t make the alien equine kosher in the eyes of a human, nothing would. Spotting Ishmir approached over the standard issue marine infantryman helmet he was fiddling with, Marko glanced to Twilight. “So sparkle-butt! What bring you to our violent little corner of the galaxy?” “Well, turd-blossom,” Twilight retorted humorously before her tone went more serious, “I came looking for you because I have reason to believe the Covenant are coming to Equis.” Ishmir visibly flinched at the news. “That sounds bad.” “It is! Princess Celestia won’t believe me when I say they’re dangerous! She’s planning to open a parlay with them when they arrive,” Twilight said desperately. “Nopony believes me about the Covenant bodies in the Everfree Forest. They don’t know we’ll be slaughtered on sight!” “Fuck me, are your world leaders retarded or something?” Marko commended earning a light cuff over the helmet from Ishmir. “We’re partially responsible for this, you know that right?” “What!? Fuck that! How are we responcible?” Ishmir counted off reasons on his fingers. “We destroyed the Covenant orbital station in the system. Of course they’re going to come investigating. Then we slaughter a bunch of their guys on Equestria soil. And finally we banged out before Twilight Sparkle’s friends arrived. In retrospect we should have stuck around and offered an explanation.” Marko huffed. “Oh, you and your logic. Hey, princess twinkle-nuts. Don’t you pansy ponies do magic and shit?” “I doubt that’ll be much of a game-changer,” Ishmir reasoned. “Especially if the Covenant catch them on unawares.” “So what are we going to do about?” Ishmir thought, then shrugged. There was only one thing they could do about it. “Let’s finish up here and head back to Equestria. We should have a talk with this Princess Celestia and maybe show her recordings of the Covenant glassing worlds.” “Betcha thirty credits she cries like a baby.” “… make it forty.” It took Twilight Sparkle a few moments of translating to realise what they were saying. “So you’ll come back to Equestria with me?” “As soon as we finish our shit here, yeah.” Marko nodded, adding, “We’ll have to find you transport off-planet with the marines while we complete our mission.” Twilight’s expression dropped at that revelation. “What? No! I’m staying with you!” Nodding in agreement with the pony princess, Ishmir added, “It’s probably better if she does.” “I dunno, Ish. It’s probably not safe.” “And leaving her with command and the likes of ONI is safer?” “Point taken. But you’re not going to be able to kill, are you Sparkle-Horse?” Twilight laughed carelessly. “I could! If I had to!” “Yeah, not really buying that. Ishy, she won’t be able to cover a sector,” Marko said, not so much arguing and more wondering what the hell he was going to do with her. He didn’t need to be babysitting in the midst of conducting a firefight. Ishmir nodded, agreeing with that. But she didn’t need to be a killer to be useful. “She has a pair of eyes to keep watch and she can hump ammo and gear.” Twilight scoffed at that idea. “I am not humping anything!” “He means carry.” Twilight blinked a few times, processing that before her gaze fell sheepishly. “Oh.” Marko finally nodded, settling the discussion. “Alright, but she stays behind me. How does that sound?” “Sounds good,” Ishmir agreed. “It’s settled then.” Marko paused for a second as he thought of something. He wondered what kind of callsign to give the pony, and it didn’t take long to come up with one. The way he angled his helmet in the light, it seemed like the grin of his visor broadened to match that on his face hidden within. Turning over the helmet he had in his hands he revealed he’d used his knife to punch a hole in the forehead. He slipped the headgear over Twilight’s head so it fitted snugly around her horn and said, “Welcome to the team, Warlock.”