I heard a story once. Every pony born is painted by Fate. She takes a mystical brush and gives the newly crafted soul a few dabs of color. One for its coat, normally spreading down its entire body. One color, maybe more for its mane and tail. For certain arrogant flyers, there are like twelve. She slides the head of the brush along, giving added personality. In many cases, another color is interwoven as ponies often have distinguishing streaks. And of course another color for the twinkling eyes.
And me?
I think Fate must've been drunk or something. My coat is all black. Black. With all the other lively colors around here, why do I have something so voidful as black? Maybe I got dropped in a paintbucket by mistake. 'Oh, whoops!! But, I can't waste one!!' I would have been pulled out with a marginally apologetic expression.
'What color of tail shall we give you?' The only real color that would've stood out is a brilliant white color. A few mild strokes, and I now have some semblance of an appearance. I would've preferred a completely white mane and tail, but something must've kept her from finishing. A distraction of some sort?
Or perhaps she just had a sick sense of humor. A couple white streaks, and I was finished. Some orange eyes, and the look is complete. After coming to her senses, she probably regretted what she had done. But, it was done just the same. She tossed me into the Rift and I would eventually be born.
Destiny had an equal hand in this. While Fate handles the appearance, Destiny handles the cutie marks that makes us all unique and special. And what does she give me? A flower! A white Moon Flower. I know nothing about botany!! The only reason I know what this is called is because I had to look it up!
And does any other COLT have a flower stamped on their ass?
I didn't think so!!!
I got my mark rather early. I haven't the foggiest idea what to make of it. I've never been into plants, much less flowers. Is that supposed to be a joke? 'Oh, he looks like a skunk. Give him a flower. They'll just tell him its a special destiny.'
==-==-==
On my first day of school, I was eager to go and be with other little colts and fillies. I walked into class, and the TEACHER tried to shoo me out, thinking I was in fact a real skunk. She screamed at the top of her lungs!! She climbed on top of her desk!! She actually hit me with a broom, trying to scare me off!! When I started TALKING, the thought hit her that I was actually a member of the class.
And I was hereby sent to the back of the class. Despite the fact that she knew I was a pony, I still looked like a skunk. She tried to tell herself that I was a pony, but appearance overrode everything and she thought of the safety of the others. IF I were to let one off, everypony else could escape before I could.
I sometimes hear about some little fillies who have yet to find their cutie marks. A couple little trolls bellow 'Blank Flank' in irritating glee. Girls, I gotta tell you that that's nothing compared to what I went through.
'Who let the skunk into class?'
'Phew!! Something stinks!'
'Skunk Pony!'
'SKO-NY! SKO-NY! SKO-NY!'
Let's not forget being doused in tomato juice. On a semi-regular basis.
I swear I had absolute control over my sphincter throughout my school years. There were times where I would worry about cracking wind, but I never did. I knew that at the very first sign, I would validate every last insult that they ever made.
And they tried. Oh Luna did they try. Those little asses (and I assure you that some WERE donkeys!!) would try to slip me anything that registers on the fart index. Cabbage. Bean burritos. Whoopee cushions were especially dangerous.
==-==-==
That isn't to say that I haven't tried my damndest to fix this problem. One day, I dyed all the white hairs a stark black to match everything else. Maybe I could just change my appearance enough....
But, I found that my problems persisted. I was entirely black except for my eyes and my teeth. And I realized that was a mistake on my part. I had turned myself into a smiling shadow. A featureless blob in the back of the classroom. 'Ain't we missing somepony?' they snickered.
'Nah. All the important ponies are here!!'
To add injury to insult (no, I did not mess up that phrase) several of my classmates, colt and filly alike 'tripped' on me as I was walking away. They blatantly said they didn't see anything. I was clearly standing out from my surroundings, even if I was a black blob of pony. And they still 'accidentally' ran into me, not even apologizing for it.
And that lasted a month or two until the dye made its way out of my hairs. Then it was just back to 'Skony!! Skony!!' I think my teacher was tempted to scold me for being absent for the entire time, despite knowing full well that I was right there.
Some days, she's no better than them.
==-==-==
I experimented with the idea of bleaching my coat. My ENTIRE coat. And why stop there? Why not my mane and tail too? Why not change my look into a ghostpony? But, then they'd just think I'd died and was haunting them. Once again, the teacher would freak out. Wasn't she supposed to be sympathetic to my plight?
The idea of bleaching my coat was a scary thought. The idea that I could get any help with the process was another matter altogether. There's a salon in town that could help me with this. But, can they get over what I look like? Or would they just run and hide as a skunk wandered into their establishment?
And what of the process itself? Would it hurt? I can imagine that I'd be itching from top to bottom. And for how long? Would the bleach destroy my cutie mark (useless as it is)? And what color would I want to be after that? I could almost literally turn myself into a brand new pony. Nopony would recognize me.
And what would that solve? Eventually, my true colors would come back through anyways... I'd have some time of relief, but as my hair grows back through, it would be the black and white that I 'adore' so much. And I can only see the others teasing me about this anyway. Even if I was a totally different set of colors, they still know who I am.
There have been days where I even toyed with the idea of shaving myself completely bald. Scalp to tail. While it is common for ponies to run around most of their lives naked, there is never any shame in it. But, to go beyond that and not even have hair covering... that would just be obscene! Not that I'd care at this point....
But, I'm a coward. Years of abuse have left me so mentally crippled. Even today, as I am long out of school, I still hide in fear of what the ponies will tell me. I work in the mornings. I sleep in the day. I run around at night. I have adjusted to how THEY think I should live... I have been molded by my fears and my insults. And all because of this damnable set of colors.
I don't know what to do anymore....