//------------------------------// // True organization. // Story: Planet Express's Package Pony // by MrAquino //------------------------------// "Why do I have to look after her!?" Hermes asked. "Because I told you to." The professor replied "You know I can't have kids around here!" "I don't care! If you don't allow her here, then you're fired!" Derpy sat outside Hermes' office, counting her money again and checking her notebook on how expensive or cheap each project was. Herme's office door opened and Farnsworth came out. "Now, Derpy, you'll be with Hermes for a while." "The bureaucrat who files EVERYTHING!?" Derpy asked "Oh, my, yes, but don't worry, he's not too attached to the job, I'm certain he'll make the time for you." "I won't!" Hermes yelled from his office. "Just don't cause too much trouble in there." Derpy walked into Hermes' office, seeing the large bureaucrat filing some papers. "Hello!" Derpy spoke. Hermes didn't reply, but was busy stapling some stuff together. Derpy hopped onto a chair, then jumped onto Hermes' desk. "What cha' doin'?" Still no answer. Derpy sat on her haunches with a noticeable 'Hmph!' as Hermes continued organizing his papers. Just by him working, Derpy felt her eyes getting heavy from boredom, shaking herself awake every now & then. Soon, she fell forwards and napped lightly, but woke up immediately. "I'M AWAKE!!!" Still no response. Derpy grunted to herself, jumped off the table, and sat on a stool on the floor. "Oh look! Loose papers!" Hermes didn't look up. Derpy sighed, sitting on the stool & leaned forward. The stool moved forward & Derpy flared her wings, putting the stool back in it's original position. Derpy then leaned to the right, making the stool follow her, but Derpy shifted her weight back before it went too far. Having something fun now, Derpy began to lean left & right on her stool, rocking it and having fun. A lone owl came next to her and began hooting, followed by Nibbler coming in with a small drum set. Hermes looked up from his papers, but froze as he saw what was happening. "Get out of here you filthy bird!" Hermes yelled, getting up & shooing the owl away. The owl hooted, flying away as Nibbler began to chase it, no question that it was hungry. The owl flew around the room and Nibbler chased after it, crashing & throwing every paper around with the cabinets falling, spreading more papers. Hermes screamed loudly & fainted as the olw flew out of the room, followed by a drooling Nibbler. Derpy looked around the area, but saw something interesting in one of the open cabinets. Derpy peeked inside: a small suit around her size, a badge labeled only '5', and a pair of glasses. She shrugged to herself and put the stuff on, looking like a small, actually huggable bureaucrat that you didn't want to punch in the face. "Huh... I feel important... TIME TO RUIN LIVES!!!" Hermes awoke in his now more than clean office, but saw Derpy filing papers with a dispenser popping out a muffin every few minutes and an open furnace at her left. Derpy looked at some papers carefully. "Crap!" She said, throwing the papers into the furnace. "What are you doing!?" Hermes asked "That could've been important!" "Extra copies of Michael Bay's Tranformers 5 through 69 are important to you?" "No... they're... actually not." "And allowing bureaucrats to work twice as hard with half of the pay?" "Hell no! But-" "And how about letting really lazy people have promotions & soon run the company?" "...Who wrote this stuff!?!?!?" "Idiots who trick other idiots." "Alright, fine, but you've got to get out of my seat or else-" "I would like to do that, but first thing's first; you've got write a document containing all things on why you should take this seat back, including a full paragraph describing how cute I am, the number of things stolen from you, your childhood, two numbers, a childhood drawing, the batman logo, and a video attempt at Nae Naeing to the most unfitting music." "What the-!? Oh you're going to get it you little-" Derpy threw the papers at Hermes, cutting him off. "Swearing at me will also require you to write a ten thousand word essay on why I'm so great, why no one hurt me, and why muffins are the greatest." Hermes grunted to himself, taking the papers away to fill it out, leaving the room. "...Man, it's so fun being a bureaucrat! Ooh! Papers on how to get more money!" 3 Hours later: Hermes came back into his office Derpy had control over, complete with a video of him Nae Naeing it to the original Wii's Mii creator music before it was remixed and the ten thousand word essay on all three things Derpy requested. When he opened the door, he froze and stared as Derpy was dancing along with a green robot dog, Craptrap, Fry & Bender, some strippers (human, humanoid, and robotic), with the heads of Andrew W. K and the entire crew of Jackass with loud music playing. "What in Jamaica is going on here!?" Hermes asked "We're being payed to do this!" Fry replied "What!? How!?" "I found a loophole in the system!" Derpy announced "Come on everyone! Let's party until our arms drop!" Craptrap's arms fell. "... Aw crap, guess I'm out." He moped to himself, rolling out. "It was a figure of speech." "Oh! ...continue the party!!!" Everyone cheered and continued to party for a few more minutes, as the song changed to one of Andrew's songs. Derpy turned to Hermes "I got the feeling you didn't do everything, but if you want to avoid it, then join the party!" "... I might as well." Hermes spoke, walking in & joining the cramped party. "Bureaucracy is so fun!" "It sure is, Derpy, it sure is." "Especially when you make people's lives a living hell! In fact," she pulled out documents "everyone will have to sign a waiver as soon as this party is over!" Everyone groaned. "NEVER!!!" Bender yelled "PARTY FOREVER!!!" The party ended in a few minutes, and everyone left with documents, signing all the things regarding the party. Both Derpy and Hermes laughed as they left. "That's my little Bureaucrat!" Hermes spoke, rustling Derpy's mane. "Aw, thanks Uncle Hermes." Derpy replied, rubbing her head Hermes' leg like a cat.