Luna's personal guard

by Wonder


A surprising surprise

"So soft." Breeze mumbled, still half asleep. She squeezed harder on her pillow and nuzzled further into it. Breeze had no idea why but she felt amazing. She had never slept so well before. I'm going to have to find out where Luna gets her pillows. I've never slept on something so soft and fluffy and- The pillow yawned. "Alive!" Breeze screamed as she jumped to her hooves. She looked down to see the surprised face of Princess Luna, who had been woken by Breeze's scream.

"It would appear I am." Luna spoke again after a few seconds. "Why? Were you planning to 'off me'?"

"No! But... the pillow?" Breeze paused, suddenly realizing that she had just been sleeping on top of Luna. "Did we... you know?" Breeze shrunk back a bit, obviously shy.

"Don't be ridiculo-" Luna froze, something was wrong. "um actually... I don't remember anything from last night. Did we?" That's odd. I usually have a perfect memory. How does a whole night disappear from my memory? Luna looked over to Breeze who was grinning at her. "You speak a word of this to anypony and I'll throw you from the balcony."

Breeze giggled and shook the chain connecting them. "You'll be throwing yourself off as well." Luna flinch imagining the scenario. She had all but forgotten about the chain connecting them. She had gotten so used to it.

"We don't actually know what happened so until we do, we'll just assume that has nothing happened. Okay?" Luna said, rubbing the bridge of her muzzle.

"I don't know. I think I would prefer the alternative."

"Nothing happened! Okay?" Luna said a bit more forcibly, placing both her hooves on Breeze's withers.

"Fine, fine... for now." Breeze added with a smirk. "But in exchange for my silence, I get to use you as a pillow from now on. You just too soft~" Breeze sung the last word. She was... actually pretty good at singing. Luna weighed her options. Either she let Breeze use her as her own personal pillow or allow Breeze to tell everyone what they may or may not have done. It was an obvious choice.

"You have got to be the most evil mare I have ever met." Luna glared at Breeze playfully. "Fine! But if your using me as a pillow, make sure to that no one finds out."

"Too late." A deep chuckle filled the room. Breeze's ears turned to try and find the location of the voice, but it was no use, it was coming from everywhere at once. "Oh the horror! What a scandal! How ever will the public react? What would poor little Celly think?"

"Oh buck."

"Now, dear Luna. Do you talk to your mother with that mouth? How rude."

"What do you want Discord? Name your price." Luna said, resigned. Discord appear in a bright flash of light.

"Oh please. I would never dream of black mailing you." Discord stepped forward and leaned against Luna's side. "Besides, you of all ponies should know that anything I want, I can just pull out of my metaphorical hat." Discord snapped his fingers and a shiny black top hat appeared atop his head. The spirit of chaos removed the hat and reached in, only to pull out a white rabbit by the name of angel. Angel looked around in confused. Upon seeing Discords face, the rabbit thought of the best course of action, which happened to be fighting. Before Discord could react, Angel threw a left hook which connected with Discords jaw. "Oh it. is. on." The spirit of chaos growled. Luna and Breeze watched as Discord and the rabbit had an improv boxing match, complete with boxing gloves and a boxing ring which had inexplicably appeared where Luna and Breeze's bed used to be. Just for the record, Angel won.

After making sure Discord would not interfere with his affairs any more, Angel returned to the hat and jumped inside, disappearing to wherever he had been originally. Breeze didn't know how to react to this but one glance at Luna told her that she disliked the intruder.

With the rabbit gone, Discord limped over to the duo with one claw covering a black eye. "I hate that rabbit." Breeze couldn't help but fall over laughing. "I like this one." Discord grinned before snapping his fingers yet again, fixing his appearance and bringing the room back to normal. "It's always nice to meet somepony that appreciates my chaos."

"Discord!" Luna shouted. "If there is no point to this intrusion then could you please get out of our room."

"Our room? Hmm, interesting." Discord mused. "Very well. I would have preferred to sit down and talk about this but I guess I can just get the the point... sadly. This is for you." Discord pulled a scroll out of his ear and threw it to Luna, who caught it in her magic. "A message from Celestia. Something about the chain you two are wearing." Discord slivered forward and grabbed Luna's ankle. He inspected the manacle around the mares leg and shook it slightly, causing the chain clink. "A bit kinky for my liking but whatever makes you two happy."

Luna paid the spirit of chaos no attention as she read the letter. "Is this true Discord? This isn't some prank."

"My dear Luna, I would never joke on the topic of kinkiness." Discord stated, still holding Breeze's leg.

"...What?!" Luna frowned in confusion.

"Oh, you mean the letter. Yes of course. No forgeries or anything. Trust me, I tried. Celestia put a protection spell on it." Discord let go of Luna's leg, opting to take off his horns which turned into meter long blades, and proceeded to have a sword fight with a second Discord that had appeared from thin air.

Luna decided to leave Discord to his own devices and began walking towards the door but was stopped soon when the chain around her hoof went taut. Luna turned and saw that Breeze was lying on the floor, her head resting on her hooves, her back legs splayed out behind her. Her attention was fully focused on the sword fight going on between the spirit of chaos and himself.

"Breeze, come on. Get up." Breeze stayed where she was. "Breeze?" Luna nudged The bat pony with her magic. Breeze flinched but she didn't move. "Breeze!" Luna yelled over the sound of the sword fight. She didn't like yelling, but sometimes it had to be done.

Breeze shook her head in surprise. "Huh, wah? Oh right, sorry Luna. He's just so funny." Luna continued toward the door, this time Breeze was following.

"Yeah, funny. Right." Luna rolled her eyes. "Give it a while and you'll learn. He's just a nuisance." Discord didn't notice them leave and continued his fight with himself.

"I really don't see what is so bad about him. He didn't do anything wrong. I just think you have a bad sense of humor." Breeze smiled.

"Humor?! I have a great sense of humor. That is not humor, that is just being silly." Luna grumbled.

Breeze remained quiet for a moment. "Hey... Luna? Do you think... I'm silly?"

Luna turned her head so she could look at Breeze. "Of course I don't. You're not silly, you're vibrant. Just because you act ridiculous at times and seem to hit on me every chance you get, doesn't mean you're silly, although I would appreciate it if you toned it down a bit."

Breeze chuckled. "Sure thing. Just how much do I have to tone it down anyway?" Breeze looked at Luna skeptically.

"We can start with the winking. I can handle a few suggestive remarks but the winking is just creepy." The princess shivered.

"What?! But stallions love it when I wink at them."

"Well I don't like it. Wait? Did you just compare me to a stallion?" Breeze giggled in response. "Seriously, why do I even bother. You're lucky we're chained together."

"Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" Breeze slowed down forcing Luna to as well.

"I don't see why not." Luna sighed.

"I was just wondering. Am I a good guard?"

"Well I'm not dead, am I?" Luna let out a small laugh but Breeze only stared at her.

"I'm being serious. The only thing I've done is help you have fun. I haven't done anything to protect you."

"It isn't that simple Breeze. It's not like I'm going to get attacked anytime soon. In fact half the things than can threaten me have already been defeated by the elements of harmony. The main duty of a personal guard is for companionship. Kinda like the relationship between a pet and it's owner." Luna thought about her explanation for a few second before continuing." Okay, that probably wasn't the best example but you know what I mean. While at first I was upset when we got chained together, very upset in fact, but after getting to know you, I can proudly say that I am glad that it happened." Luna placed her hoof on Breeze's cheek and looked her in the eyes. "As long as this chain connects us, you will always be there to protect me and I will always be here to protect you." That sounded kinda weird. Luna thought to herself.

"And when it's gone?" Breeze asked with a hint of sadness in her voice. "Will I still be your guard?"

Luna smiled and pulled Breeze into a hug. "Of course you will. You will always be my guard." Breeze broke from the hug and stared Luna in the eyes.

"Always?" Breeze moved closer to Luna and when they were only inches apart Luna whispered back.

"Always." Luna moved forward, her eyes closed, and planted her lips on Breeze's. Breeze's eyes fluttered and soon she was returning the kiss passionately. Breeze was dumbstruck. She had joked about this for a long time, but for it to actually happen? It was incredible. Breeze felt Luna's tongue enter her mouth and did nothing to stop it, why would she? She had wanted this for as long as she could remember. There tongues circled each other, exploring every inch of their partners mouth. Breeze was just about to take it further when they heard somepony gasp.

They both froze mid-kiss with their eyes wide open and saw standing only a few hoofs away was princess Celestia. Celestia's mouth was wide open and an expression of surprise was clearly visible on her face. Luna just stared at her sister, to shocked to move. She couldn't even remove her tongue from Breeze's mouth. Breeze on the other hoof was too scared to move. Her mind kept going over all the torture techniques she had ever heard of. What would Luna's sister do to her. Would she be thrown into an iron mare, or maybe they would use a hoof screw? Did they even torture ponies anymore or were they just thrown in the cells? She was so worried that she barely registered Celestia's laughter.

"You two look so silly." Celestia burst out laughing. "That was priceless. Where's a camera when you need one." Discord popped into existence, carrying a fancy looking camera and an impaled version of himself. "Not to worry your highness. I got a video of the whole thing." He turned to address the frozen pair. "Oh and I won the fight against me, just in case you were wondering. I was no match for me. I didn't stand a chance." Discord dropped the body to the floor, which then disappeared with a flash.

Celestia looked at Discord confusedly. "Video?"

"Lots of photos placed in order so it looks like they move. I invented it myself." He smiled proudly, hefting the fancy camera onto his shoulder.

"Can we watch it later?" Celestia asked enthusiastically.

"Of course! We can show the whole city if you'd like." Discord spread his arms wide in the air as if he was presenting a piece of art to the world.

Luna pulled herself away from Breeze, leaving a string of saliva between their mouths. "You will do no such thing!" Luna yelled. Celestia and Discord looks at her in silence for a moment, before launching into another round of laughter. Luna's face went red as her anger grew. "This is not funny!" Luna screamed. "How would you feel if I told everypony of your personal affairs."

"Like what?" Celestia smiled cheekily. "I have nothing to hide from my subjects."

"Bu- you... that's not fair!" Luna whined, kicking at the ground in distress. "Why do you always do this?! Every time I do something fun you have to ruin it!" Luna pointed an accusing hoof at Celestia. "It's not enough that your the oldest? You have to ruin my reputation as well? I-I-I HATE YOU!" Luna screeched, before falling to the ground and began sobbing into her hoofs. Celestia and Discord moved back in surprise.

The spirit of chaos leaned over to Celestia's ear and whispered. "Maybe we took it a bit too far."

Celestia relied sarcastically. "You think?" The eldest sister went to console Luna, but was stopped when a clawed talon grabbed her by the withers.

"I would advise against that. It was us after all that upset her and in case you had somehow forgotten already, she 'hates you'." Discord added quotation marks with his paw and claw. Celestia mouth opened in shock. I messed up.

The solar diarch felt a hoof tap her. She looked down and saw Breeze staring up at her. "Hey, princess. I think you should leave this to me." Celestia stared at the mare for a few seconds before sighing in recognition and sadness.

"Of course. Tell her I'm sorry... please." Celestia hung her head low and walked away with no direction in mind. She needed time to think.

"And Discord?"

"I'm innocent here. All I did was-"

"Could you please get rid of that pho-"

"Video." Discord interrupted.

"Yeah, whatever. Could you get rid of it."

"What? But why?"

"Please, just do it. For me." Breeze fluttered her eyes. Discord cross his arms and starred at her. If she thinks I'm going to do her bidding because she said please, she's got another thing coming. Just because she appreciates my humor and didn't judge me by looks like everypony else doesn't mean anything. Not only did she think I was funny, she actually was willing to argue against Luna about me. I could have sworn I was arguing against this. All these points are in her favor. Darn chaos magic.

"Fine." Discord snapped the camera in half. "It's gone, you happy?" Breeze gave Discord a quick hug.

"Thank you, Discord." Discord shrugged before disappearing in a cloud of chickens, because reasons? With both Discord and Celestia gone, Breeze approached the trembling form of Luna. Breeze didn't talk for a while and just stroked Luna's mane, occasionally patting her on the back.

"My sister's a jerk." Luna stated through heavy breaths. "She always does this. Whenever she gets the chance, she embarrasses me." Luna lifted her head and looked at Breeze. "Why? Why would a sister do that?"

Breeze gave Luna a smile. "Maybe she's just jealous."

"Jealous?! What is there to be jealous of?" Her breathing had calmed but there were still tears trickling down her face.

Breeze looked at her incredulously. "What isn't there?! Can she enter a ponies dream? Can she connect to every filly and colt in Equestria on a personal level? Sure she knows every ponies name, but she doesn't know anypony. She only has one holiday dedicated to her while you have two?! The winter moon celebration as well as nightmare night, the coolest holiday of them all. On top of that, you have the most awesome marefriend in all of Equestria. Who wouldn't be jealous of that?"

Luna giggled, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes.. "So your my marefriend now?"

"Well we were just kissing." Breeze shrugged. "I think that makes me more qualified to be your marefriend that anyone else."

"I guess you're right..." Luna hesitated. "marefriend." Breeze shivered.

"oooh, say that one more time."

Luna rolled her eyes, but obliged. "Marefriend."

Breeze flapped her wings in excitement and smiled widely. "I can get used to that. Now, how about we get revenge on your sister."

Luna grinned evilly. "What do you have in mind?"


"Discord, Am I a bad sister?" Celestia asked the spirit of chaos. She had been silently staring at the city of Canterlot from her balcony for the past hour, thinking what she could have done differently.

"Yep! Definitely." Discord threw a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "You are without a doubt the worst sister of all time. Ponies will sing songs of your unsisterlyness for years to come."

"Gee, thanks." Celestia responded sarcastically. "In any case, it looks like I may have to hold off on telling her what I found out about the armour. It's not like she's even listen to me at the moment."

"Probably not." The spirit of chaos dropped his bucket of popcorn and watched it as it grew legs and ran away to safety. "It's best if we just leave them alone for a while. On a side note, I suggest you be on the look out for booby traps for the next couple of weeks.