//------------------------------//
// The Snuggle Ultimatum 
// Story: The Snuggle Conspiracy 
// by CategoricalGrant 
//------------------------------//

They say that if you refuse to speak first during a confrontation, you have the upper hand.
Following that advice was currently leading to a very awkward situation for you.
You were seated at an outdoor patio table on one of the castle’s balconies, behind a cup of coffee and a dish of small pastries. On the other side of the table, Princess Celestia sat analyzing you.
However, her uncomfortable movements made it quite clear that she was also unsure of what to say.
Your afternoon began on quite a high note, as you congratulated Princess Luna on taking a hard line during court against the cartel of bakers that, for whatever reason, seemed to be ripping Equestria apart. She seemed quite joyous, and asked you to stay in Canterlot another night. You looked forward to another session of cuddling.
That is, until a professional looking (and by your preemptive judgment, somewhat self-absorbed) pony barged into your meeting and demanded that you come with him to see Princess Celestia. Luna seemed to know him, and seemed quite perturbed by his entrance.
And a few minutes later, there you were sitting in front of Princess Celestia. And many minutes later, here you were, still sitting in front of Princess Celestia.
Eventually growing sick of the clearly political game being played, you stand up and make to head back to meet with Luna.
“Please, be seated,” Celestia says, finally relenting.
You sit. “Princess Celestia…it’s nice to meet you.”
“It’s quite nice to meet you as well,” Celestia says, flatly. Her mane undulates and shines in the afternoon sun. You get the feeling that she doesn’t think it’s nice to meet you at all.
Awkward silence overtakes the patio again as your natural capacity to take offense personally overtakes you. You decide it was correct to refuse to bow in her presence.
“How do you know Luna?” Celestia continues, her voice a little softer.
“Dreams,” you answer curtly.
Celestia frowns. “And yet you are here in real life with her now.”
“She came to me for help.”
“Help?” Celestia asks, seeming a little surprised. 
“It would seem being marginalized and almost friendless after being gone 1000 years is somewhat emotionally distressing,” you shoot back at her, with just a tad too much venom dripping from your voice.
Celestia lights up with anger on hearing this. 
“So,” you continue, “she wanted somepony to snuggle.”
Celestia’s anger morphs again into confusion. “Snuggle?” she asks, a touch of revulsion in her voice.
“Yeah. Princess, if I may, why did you call me here?”
“I simply noticed that a great change had come over Luna, and that you were likely responsible. I just wanted to talk with you. I don’t want Luna to get overwhelmed with work…or otherwise suffer because of the actions and promptings of another.”
A grin of amusement tickles the edges of your muzzle. A poorly veiled threat? Was this a bad mob movie? “What’s this about? Don’t like sharing the spotlight in court?”
Celestia’s façade breaks. “Listen, plebe! You have no idea what you’re dealing with. You think that politics is a game? You think you understand what’s at stake with all of these recent developments? You’re in way over your head, and I WILL take whatever steps necessary to make sure Equestria is safe, including dealing with you. I’m sure that my sister can find another two-bit, downtrodden commoner to smother at night.”
Surprising yourself with your own audacity, you throw your head back and let out a deep, genuine laugh. “Oh, Princess,” you say, wiping a tear away and regaining control, “you’re great. Keep up the planning, though, I’m not sure that Luna would take very kindly to your intrusion in her affairs.” 
Celestia growls. “I warned you about what is coming to pass. Now leave me.”
You stand from your seat, and walk to the other side of the table. “It was so wonderful talking, your highness,” you say, quickly enveloping her in a big, warm hug and nuzzling her chest. She freezes, as if shocked or unsure about the gesture. You draw one more circle in her fur with your nuzzle and whisper to her “you can have the two bits sent to my P.O. box.” Ten seconds later, you’re already well on your way back to Luna, and you plan on telling her all about your little exchange with her sister.
Celestia is left on the porch to contemplate what just occurred. “Darn,” she says to herself. “He is a really good snuggler…” 
Her eyes narrow as she plans her next move.