//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: Where O Where // Story: Llamas: A Drama // by SkelePone //------------------------------// LLAMAS a drama CHAPTER THREE: WHERE O WHERE by SkelePone Appleloosans are very wary of outsiders. Well, non-pony outsiders to be precise. Appleloosa was a majority Earth pony community, with a hoof-ful of Pegasi and Unicorns every now and then. Besides the occasional Diamond Dog, the town was only visited by ponies. So when a small herd of llamas trotted into town, one can expect the Appleloosans to react negatively. Cherry Jubilee’s reaction should have been a warning enough for Poncho’s little herd. But they had wandered into the town without a worry or care in the world. Now, they just felt like strangers. Outsiders. Poncho felt somewhat uncomfortable as his herd walked down the silent filthy street. Ponies would halt their extravagant conversations to stop and stare at the spectacle. Poncho assumed they did look quite ridiculous. A pair of twins, a llama in a baker’s uniform, a crippled cria, an elderly llama. Not to mention the green llama who wouldn’t quit asking for dank memes. Poncho smiled sheepishly at an ogling pony couple. He spotted a small wagon selling gaucho and mountie hats. Poncho sidled over and paid three bits for a black gaucho with ear-holes cut in the brim. He pulled on the hat and covered his eyes to avoid the stares and glares of the ponies. From his side, he felt Rico step closer to him and let out a whimper. “Poncho?” He said, tugging at the leader’s oopoochawa strap. “Yes, Rico?” “Why are the ponies staring at us like that?” Rico asked, his eyes wide and fearful. Poncho tilted up his hat brim to see ponies lined up on the sides of the streets, watching. “Because we are not ponies.” “Is… Is that bad?” Poncho didn’t answer. They continued on their way in silence that matched that of the Appleloosan residents. Ponies would crane their short necks to gaze in wonder and confusion at the llamas, who did their best to avoid eye contact. Everything was going decently. Until somepony decided to say hello. A tall, buff, and very, very confident stallion wearing a ten gallon hat trotted up with a swagger and stood in the middle of the street, blocking the small herd’s way. The llamas all stopped walking as Poncho stared up boldly into the stallion’s face. The stallion sneered at the llamas, and Poncho didn’t hesitate to sneer back. “What are you camel-sheep doing here? Go back to the mountains where you belong.” He announced with a drawl. He smirked as a few of his goons outside the bar that wasn’t that far away started to giggle. A few of the Appleloosan spectators chuckled, and Poncho felt his llama instinct order him to spit in the stallion’s face. He restrained himself. “Excuse me?” Poncho snapped, raising an eyebrow. He made sure to regard the giant brute as nothing more than a mild irritation, like an itch on his neck that he couldn’t quite reach. “You heard me, necky.” More giggling from the drunk goons. “Okay.” Poncho began, “I will count to three. And if you do not stop harassing us, I will have no choice but to-” “But to what? You’re not gonna do nuthin’. Llamas don’t know how to fight.” Poncho half-smiled. “That, my good sir, is a very serious misconception.” Poncho nodded, and Bronco and Pepe unloaded their bags and stood to Poncho’s sides. Bronco was almost as tall as the aggressive stallion, but not quite. And Pepe could carry two llamas and twice his weight in luggage. Poncho knew for a fact that the stallion wouldn’t stand a chance. That is, until goons began to pour out of the bar and took positions behind the stallion. Poncho felt his confidence deflate significantly. “Leave tha’ wise guy to me, boys. Beat the snot outta the others.” Just as Poncho was about to order Bronco and Pepe to attack, Vicuña lunged forward, tossing a small packet of something onto the ground. Smoke billowed up from the ground, blinding the aggressive ponies. “GET THOSE LITTLE-!” Before the stallion could finish shouting, he tripped over something and fell flat on his muzzle. His nose started to bleed and looked around in confusion. Before he could shake the nausea from his head, a green cloven hoof shot out of the smoke and clobbered him in the jaw. As the stallion hit the ground with a thud, Pepe let out a cry of victory. “BOOM! Headshot!” When the smoke cleared, Bronco stood atop a pile of unconscious drunkards. Rico and Mama were still wrestling with a few thugs. Pepe was cackling and zooming about. Cha Cha and Macarena were dancing about them all. And Bonita was lying on the ground, covering her ears with her hooves and whimpering. And Poncho was looking down confidently at the dazed stallion. His mouth curled up into a smile and with a loud ‘hooo-whak!’ He collected a mouthful of gooey spit and shot it into the stallion’s face. The brute moaned in embarrassment as Rico and Mama laughed. All around them were ponies who were looking to the llamas with horror. Poncho could care less. He felt like he had had quite enough of ponies for one day. Somepony let out a holler, a stallion with a mustache wearing a blue vest, a red scarf, and a black hat. The shining silver star on his vest gleamed as he came to a stop before the scene. The stallion looked about, stunned for a few moments. “What in tarnation happened here!?” Sheriff Silverstar gasped, marvelling at the piles of knocked out ponies. Every single Appleloosan on the street pointed their hooves at the llamas. Farther north in Equestria, there was a small village known as Ponyville. In Ponyville, there was a tall, crystalline and tree-shaped castle. It’s rainbow light spread a feeling of happiness and unity throughout the village. Within that castle were six of the most powerful mares in Equestria (besides the Royal Sisters, of course). And they were all in the same throne room, staring down at a holographic map of Equestria. The large crystal map of Equestria in the center of the throne room was chirping loudly. Over top of it, six symbols hung over a portion of the map. A collection of stars. Three pink butterflies. Three diamonds. Three apples. A cloud with a lightning bolt of rainbow colors striking out from it. Three balloons. Around the table sat six ponies, each bearing the marks on their flanks. Also there was a single baby dragon, whose green reptilian eye gleamed from the glowing blue light emanating from the cutie map. “Well, girls. Looks like we’re all needed at Appleloosa!” Princess Twilight Sparkle exclaimed. “Ah sure hope it’s not in any trouble…” Applejack mumbled, looking at the map with worry. “OOH! OOH!” Pinkie Pie cried out, bouncing around the room excitedly, “Maybe they’re being attacked by evil-but-not-evil-only-misunderstood llamas because they were kicked out of their home and somepony said something mean to them and now they’re all fighting and,” Pinkie PIe inhaled deeply, taking in a fresh breath of air, “if we don’t don’t do something quick the llamas will end being sent into the desert and they can’t be in the desert because then they could get hurt because it’s too hot there!” Everypony in the room looked at Pinkie Pie skeptically. “What?” She squeaked, “It could happen!” Twilight ignored her silliness and turned to the other mares and to the baby dragon. Using her best leader-sounding voice, the Alicorn spoke: “Let’s go, girls.” Jail? That pony sheriff had rounded up the llamas, even little Rico and the elderly Mama, and had them sent to jail? All because a stallion and his goons decided to attack them, simply because they weren’t ponies. Poncho began to think that most ponies were very specist. He also wondered what would have happened if they had never left the mountains in the first place. Well, it was too late to go back now. Far too late, Poncho took note as he looked around the crowded cell. Cha Cha and Macarena were whispering together with Bonita, Pepe was rambling away as he faced a corner. Vicuña was piddling with the contents of his satchel. Poor little Rico and the elderly dam were forced to lie on the bare filth-covered ground, because there was no seat nor bed nor even a toilet for the cria and elder to sit on. Churro was playing absentmindedly with his funny white hat. Bronco was standing tall and stock-still. He was the treated most roughly by the Appleloosa sheriff and his deputies. Possibly because the tall llama was the one responsible for the most hospitalized drunks. “Poncho, sweetie.” Mama called. Poncho felt his conscious crash-land back to Equestria and the little jail cell the ten llamas were crammed into. “Yes, Mama?” “Call the guard over. I need to use the restroom.” She pleaded. Poncho complied, leaning his head through the wide bars and looking around the corner with his long neck. It was a tight squeeze, but his wool was slick enough to help him through. He spotted their guard, one of the sheriff’s deputies, sitting lazily around the corner in a comfy looking chair. How strange. They didn’t even have a stool for Rico to sit on. “Guard!” Poncho called. The deputy didn’t even look up from the thick volume he was reading. “What.” Poncho felt himself recoil at the disgust in that one word. He shook off the bad feelings and called back to the guard. “Our elder wishes to use the toilet.” “Yeah? Your elder can hold it. I’m busy.” Poncho watched in slight irritation as the guard calmly licked his hoof and turned the page of his book. How rude. Poncho pulled his head back into the bars and shook his head at the elderly dam. She let out a huff of disappointment but did not put up a fight. Poncho let out a little mwa of anger but said nothing. Poncho really, really didn’t like ponies right now. “Are ya sure nuthin’s wrong here, Sheriff?” Applejack asked for what was the umpteenth time. The Sheriff shrugged in disinterest and shook his head. The six Elements of Harmony were gathered around the Sheriff as he leaned lazily against the town’s flagpole. He scratched his chin and thought real hard about his day. “Nnnope,” he drawled, “Not that I can think of. Besides the little ruckus here an’ there. A bit of bandits to the west. A herd of violent llamas picking a fight with the good pony patrons of our bar. Some grouchy-” “Wait a minute!” A voice cried out. Everypony looked to Fluttershy, who let out an ‘eep!’ She blushed furiously and hid behind her mane in embarrassment. Applejack raised an eyebrow. “What is it, Fluttershy? What’s got ya in a hustle?” “Well… Um… It’s just… The sheriff said that violent llamas fought some ponies… Llamas are peaceful creatures. They only fight when they are attacked first. And usually it’s only spitting. Llamas wouldn’t be ‘picking a fight’... And they wouldn’t be this far away from the mountains right? They live up in the snow caps and forests of the Alpacas. What would they be doing here? In the middle of the desert?” Applejack pondered Fluttershy’s words for a minute, eyeing the Sheriff as gave her a sheepish grin. Pinkie Pie piped up. “Told you!” She sang triumphantly. They decided to ignore her. It wasn’t the first time she had eerily foretold the problems that were to come. “Well now, Fluttershy. Yer right. I think that Mister Silverstar here is lyin’ to us. And as the Element of Honesty, you know how I feel ‘bout lyin’.” She glared at the Sheriff, who suddenly looked pale and ready to leave. “W-Well… I… I mean… Uh....” He blubbered. Rainbow Dash shot him a stink eye and landed right next to him. He stood upright and whimpered. “Oh yeah?” The rainbow-maned pegasus snarked, “So where are these llamas now?” “T-They’re at the jail!” “And why’s that?” Twilight Sparkle asked. Sheriff Silverstar looked to the Princess and gulped. “I-I-I… They’re dangerous! Menaces! They took out an entire bar of patrons and sent over thirty ponies to the hospital!” “So who started the fight?” Applejack grunted. “T-The lla- I mean, the bar patrons did, but the llamas…” “Now lissen here, Silverstar,” Applejack snapped, “the ponies at these bars here in Appleloosa aren’t known for bein’ all kind an’ friendshippy like in Ponyville. We may not be from Appleloosa, but we’re not stupid.” “Honestly, darling,” Rarity added, jumping into the conversation with a huff, “llamas are the producers of some of the finest and softest fabrics known to ponykind. You shove them in a jail because they defend themselves and their fabulous wool from a few nasty drunks? Shame on you.” Sheriff Silverstar looked like he was going to be sick. “Come on, girls,” Twilight said once again, looking at the Sheriff in contempt, “Some ponies here aren’t quite as understanding for others as I have hoped.” There was a knock at the jail door. Poncho looked up in half-interest. Maybe the Sheriff had returned. It wasn’t all that likely. The Sheriff had told him that they were going to be sitting there in the cell for quite some time. “Come in,” the guard called out, putting down his book. The door opened, and Poncho heard Vicuña let out a little fluttering gasp as a purple pony mare walked in. But not just any pony. This pony sported not a horn or wings, but a horn and wings. “P-P-Princess Twilight!” The deputy spluttered. The Princess ignored him and walked immediately to the cell holding the llamas. Poncho heard Vicuña let in another slight intake of breath, and he shot a glance at the shaman. Vicuña was looking to the Princess with wide yellow eyes. What had gotten into the mystic? The Princess was followed immediately by five other mares. Poncho felt that the small jailhouse was getting noticeably crowded. “Oh you poor, poor things!” A yellow pegasus cooed to them. Poncho looked at her skeptically. He did not appreciate being talked to like a cria. “Let ‘em out!” An orange Earth pony mare snapped to the guard, who hastily grabbed a loop of keys and clumsily unlocked the bars. The llamas stumbled out, making the jailhouse feel even more crowded. Poncho nodded to the mares in thanks and flat-out ignored the bumbling guard as he helped Rico and Mama outside. The yellow pegasus mare got to the other side of Mama and helped her out, so Poncho directed his attention to the limping cria. He was followed by the many mares and the members of his herd. Outside, Poncho saw the Sheriff. Poncho narrowed his eyes and glared at Sheriff Silverstar. He really wanted to spit in that sheepish face of his. Into that ugly and ridiculous moustache. “Oh you poor, poor little llamas!” The yellow pegasus cried out, Poncho winced as she drew him into a very tight hug, “I’m so sorry about what the big, meanie ponies-” “Stop it!” Poncho grunted, pulling himself out of the crazy pegasus’ grasp. She looked to the llama with shock as he brushed himself off and waddled over to his herd with eyes full of concern. “Mama? Are you okay?” “Yes, dearie, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” “Rico?” “I’m okay!” “Cha Cha? Macarena?” “We’re okay!” They chirped before doing little pirouettes. “Churro?” “I’m fine. Spilled a bit of flour in the cell. It was going bad anyways.” “Bronco?” The Guard Llama nodded and let out a grunt. “Bonita?” “I’m fine… I guess…” “Pepe?” “OHH YEAH BABY A TRIPLE!” “I’ll take that as a yes. Vicuña?” The shaman didn’t answer. “Vicuña?” Poncho looked at his shaman. Vicuña was staring off into space. Or, more specifically, the purple Alicorn Princess who was talking to the white unicorn. “Vicuña..?” The shaman’s eyes were wide and shining. Poncho could hear the shaman breathing heavily. “Vicuña!” “She’s… beautiful,” the shaman whispered, Poncho felt his eyes nearly pop out of his skull. “What?! Vicuña, are you okay?” “Yes, Poncho,” the shaman mumbled, turning red as the Alicorn looked to the llamas, “I am fine. Better than fine.” “What in Equestria do you mean?!” “I’m in love.” Princess Twilight trotted over, looking at each llama. Poncho stood upright and directed his full attention to the purple Alicorn. “Hello,” she greeted the llama, “I’m guessing you’re the leader?” “Yes, my name is Poncho, Princess. We come from the Alpaca Mountains just south of here.” She nodded. “Please call me ‘Twilight’. And I guessed as much. What are you doing so far away from home?” “Well… we’re looking for a new home.” “What does that mean?” Poncho took a deep breath and told the six mares their story. They listened silently as he discussed the troubled times his former Herd had fallen upon. The six nodded in empathy as he recounted their struggles through the desert. After he had told them how they came to be held in a teeny little jail cell, he watched them murmur to each other for some time. After what seemed like ages, they all smiled at Poncho and his herd. “So y’all say yer lookin fer a new home, right?” The orange mare asked. Poncho nodded. “You like it where it’s not too hot, right?” The yellow pegasus asked timidly. Poncho nodded. “Where you can sell your beautiful wool?” The white unicorn added, eyeing Bonita’s fluffy coat hungrily. “Come with us,” Twilight said, “we live in Ponyville, and it’s much more welcoming than this place. We’re sure you’ll feel right at home there.” Poncho looked to his herd. Rico and Mama were smiling warmly. Cha Cha, Macarena, and Bonita were talking together in hushed, excited whispers. Churro nodded, as did Bronco. Pepe said something about jet fuel and how it can’t melt steel beams. And Vicuña was still gazing dreamily at the Alicorn Princess, who took no notice of the shaman. “Very well,” Poncho said at last, “let us come to stay in your ‘Ponyville’.”