//------------------------------// // Not so good first impressions // Story: Life as a Tyranid Swarmlord // by Spartan889 //------------------------------// “Talk about a crowd man.” I said as I look at the expo hall which is packed with fans, cosplayers and gamers. I usually cosplay when I go to Comic Con. So for this year I decided to cosplay as a Tyranid Swarmlord while my girlfriend cosplays as a Howling Banshee. “So ready for Comic-con Sarah?” I asked. “You know I’m always ready Gordon.” Sarah replied and kisses me on the cheek causing me to blush. “Well what are we waiting for? Let’s go!” Sarah said and runs off leaving me behind. “Wait up!” 2 hours later… “So you feeling hungry?” I asked. “Hm? A tiny bit.” Sarah answered but a loud growl resonated from her stomach making her blush in embarrassment. “Pizza?” “Sure.” We soon stop by a nearby Pizzeria restaurant and ordered a large Pepperoni pizza. A few minutes pass as we enjoy our pizza, I notice a stall at the corner of the Expo. “Hey Sarah, I’m going to check out that stall at the corner for awhile alright.” I said. “Alright Gordon.” Sarah said. I make my way towards the mysterious stall at the the corner. Once I reach to the stall, I see a wide selection of merchandise. But among the merchandise was a set of life-like Bone Sabres. “See anything that might interest you?” A creepy voice spoke cause me to jump in surprise and see a creepy merchant from Resident Evil 4. “Yeah there is. How much for those Bone Sabres?” “Those Bone swords? I say about 30 bucks.” The Merchant said. “You're kidding me right?” I asked in shock. “Nope. It's 30 bucks alright. Deal or no deal?” “Deal.” I whip out my wallet and take out 30 dollars from my pocket. Before I could pass the money to him, I notice Sarah running towards me. “Hey Sarah.” “Hey Gordon. Watcha buying?” Sarah asked curiously. “Oh this awesome set of Bone Sabres to complete my costume.” I said. "Good for you." Sarah said and soon notice a replica of a Shuriken Pistol. “Hey how much for the pistol over there?” “Oh that thing. Let’s just say 50 dollars.” The Merchant answered in his usual creepy tone which I did my best to ignore. “I’ll pay for the Sabres and the pistol.” “That will be 80 dollars all together.” He said. I whip out 80 dollars from my wallet and pass it to the the merchant and collected our purchased items. “Have a nice trip.” Was all he said which was pretty weird but I simply ignored what he said. Before I could leave the area, I suddenly lost balance and hit the ground with a thud. Slowly my vision starts to darken and the only thing I could see was Sarah unconscious form next to me and everything went black My conscious soon returns to me when my eyes fluttered open. “Where am I?” I look around my surroundings only to find out I was in a forest not only that, It’s night time. So the logical thing I could think off was to find civilization and call for help. Before I could do anything, one person came into my mind. “Sarah!” To be honest I was extremely paranoid about Sarah or what could happen to her but then again, she knows self-defence. Wait. why does voice sound so deep? I notice a puddle of water next to me and the moonlight shining upon it also showing my reflection. I take a look at my reflection only to see Tyranid Swarmlord causing me to scream in fright which sounded like a roar thus causing any nearby animals to run away in fear. “It’s that really my reflection?” I look at my reflection again to confirm my fears. Only to see the same Swarmlord from before. “Great. Now am I Swarmlord.” I thought to me myself while examining my new body and extra pair of limbs. Suddenly, one of the bushes nearby starts to shuffle causing me to grab my Bone Sabres next to me. A few tense moments pass as the bushes stop shuffling. I was expecting a pack of wolves or worse a bear to come out of the bush. Instead, the only thing that came out of the bushes was a fucking cute fluffy bunny. "At least it couldn't get any worse." I said to myself. I soon hear a couple of distant voices coming from South. Without a second thought, I hide in the nearest bush. Unfortunately, due to the size of my new body, almost my entire body is exposed. "I'm telling you girls I heard something." A feminine voice said in a thick southern accent. "Probably another Manticore Applejack." Another voice which sounded tomboyish. I soon see six figures coming out from the vegetation. What I saw made my jaw drop. Ponies...fucking anthro ponies! That means I'm in My Little Pony. How I know this? Because Sarah forced me to watch the first few episodes of season one. To be honest, the show wasn't that bad. Unfortunately the show wasn't really my cup of tea. Anyway, back to the current situation. Right now I have the mane six right in front of me. A lavender unicorn with a pink streak on her mane who is wearing a Japanese school girl uniform, a marshmallow unicorn dressed in a black lace dress, A bouncy pink pony wearing a normal pink T-shirt with jeans and a butterscotch pegasus The pony closes to me is a blonde mane pony with a stetson hat also wearing a checkered shirt, a high waisted shorts and a pair of boots. If my memory serves right, her name should be Applejack. Next to her was a cyan pegasus known as Rainbow Dash who is hovering next to Applejack and was wearing a sports bra, a tight sports pants and a pair of sneakers. "I know very well some dangerous vermin is here." Applejack said. "Big deal. I can take it with my own bare hands." Rainbow Dash boasted arrogantly. I simply frown at Rainbow Dash statement. Honestly I hate arrogant people due to how annoying they can get nowadays also do dangerous stuff which could hurt people in the process. Before I could do anything, a Pink pony who goes by the name Pinkie Pie. Appears right in front of my face in an instant. "HI!!!" I instantly jump in surprise and let out a ear-piercing screech which gave away my position. I paused and look to my left and see the rest of the mane six looking at me in shock. "Um...hi?" "It's one of Nightmare Moon's monsters! Get it!" Rainbow Dash spreads her wings and makes a mad dash at me. In an instant my mind click into battle mode. I easily dodge Rainbow's tackle and backhand her away. Before I could grab my Bone Sabres, I notice a lasso tied to my horn and felt a slight tug. “How dare you hurt my friend! Get it girls!” Applejack ordered. The rest of the mane six except for butterscotch pegasi or better known as Fluttershy let out a battle cry and charged towards me. Without a second though, I wrap Applejack with my tail and toss her to a tree and swipe Rainbow Dash away who recently recovered, I was soon pelted by large stones which barely even scratch my chitin armor and notice Twilight shooting various spells at me which ricochet off my armor. I grab one of my Bone Sabres and charged it with destructive energy. Once fully charge, I slam it on the ground thus creating a shockwave sending everypony off balance. “My dress!!!!” Rarity shrieked. “Why you!” Applejack charges at me and kicks me on the knee which did nothing and looks at me nervously. Snorting in annoyance, I swipe her away. I grab the rest of my Bone Sabre and charge them with energy which could easily destroy an entire city block. Before I could react, Pinkie Pie appears in front of me with a loaded cannon. “Eat this you big meanie!” BAM!!!! The cannon shoots out a fairly large large cupcake and soon lands on my face causing me to drop my Bone Sabres. Thinking they already defeated me, the only thing they didn’t know is that my inner-Gordon Ramsay is now awaken. In instant, I let out an enrage ear-piercing screech causing the mane 6 to freeze in shock. “WHAT KIND OF *BLEEPING* *BLEEPING* CUPCAKE IS THIS!!!!!!” “It’s my Pinkie special cupcake.” Pinkie Pie answered fearfully. “MORE LIKE THE WORST CUPCAKE I EVER TASTED!!!! HOW MUCH SUGAR YOU IN THIS *BLEEPING* PIECE OF *BLEEP* CUPCAKE!!!!” “Five bags of sugar and a tablespoon of vanilla extract.” “FIVE BAGS OF SUGAR AND TABLESPOON OF VANILLA EXTRACT!!! ARE YOU *BLEEPING* AUTISTIC!!!???? WHO IN THE WORLD WOULD HAVE THE RIGHT MIND TO ADD THAT MUCH!!! YOU COULD EVEN GIVE THE MOST HEALTHIEST MAN DIABETES!!!! NOT ONLY THAT,” I put my hand into the cannon’s barrel and pull out the same cupcake. “THE CRUST OF THE CUPCAKE IS *BLEEPING OVERCOOKED YOU BLOODY DONKEY EVEN I COULD USE IT TO CUT A DIAMOND WITH IT!!!! NOW GET OUT OF MY BLOODY SIGHT YOU WANNABE BAKER!!!!” I grab my Bone Sabre and slam it on the ground which sends them flying to a nearby river bank. “Bloody idiots.” I grab my my Bone Sabres and decided to head South. I heard one of the bushes nearby shuffle making me go into a battle stance. “Who’s there?” I demanded. “Yo man, no need to get aggressive homie.” The voice said and soon reveals a Carnifex causing my mind to come a halt. “Hello anybody home?” The Carnifex asked while waving his claws in front of my face. “Y-you just talked.” I said in shock. “Yeah...Isn't that how we Tyranids communicate besides the hivemind. You are a Swarmlord after all.” The Carnifex said causing me to snap out of my shocked state. “Anyway. Are you the only one here?” I asked. “No.” The Carnifex said. On cue four figures appeared from the vegetation and later reveals themselves as Tyranid warriors. First two Warriors were carrying Deathspitters. The third was carrying a pair of Boneswords and the fourth was holding a Bone Sword and a Deathspitter but the most noticeable about the second Warrior was a female due to her slender body and her C-cup breast. Not only that, she is cute as hell! “So that’s all of them?” I asked. “Yup.” The first Tyranid said in a gruff tone and I notice a scar running down on his left eye. “Alright, now we already met our new boss, Now what.” The fourth Tyranid Warrior said with a annoyed tone. “I suggest we go south and find shelter.” The third suggested. “Oh great idea, maybe we might encounter something big and dangerous that might eat us!” The fourth said with sarcasm “Than do you have a better suggestion?” The third shot back. Soon both Warriors started arguing causing the second to facepalm in annoyance and embarrassment. “Idiots.” She mumbled. “Okay that’s enough.” I said in a stern tone. Right now fighting each other won’t solve anything. But now we need callsigns. The one with swords, your call-sign is called Blue.” “You got it.” Blue said. “The one with the scar, your call-sign is Felix.” I said and receive a nod from Felix. “The Warrior with the Bonesword and Deathspitter, your call-sign is Tycus” “Fine.” Tycus said in a annoyed tone again. “And the last warrior with the Deathspitter, your call-sign is Delta” “Fine by me.” She said. “Lastly, Carnifex, your callsign is Cole.” I said “WOOO!” “Everybody ready?” I asked and received nods from the others. “Good. Now let’s move south.” And after that, we march towards south which brings us deep into the Everfree forest and to the unknown. But I silently prayed for Sarah’s well-being.