Ditzy took me on a rather... Different route than I was expecting. About halfway through, I ended up doing parkour across half of Ponyville, leaping from roof to roof and over carts and under carriages (not her route. She stayed in the air.). When we reached her house ten minutes later, I was absolutely exhausted. The sun was now setting past the horizon, casting everything in a beautiful red glow.
"Here we are!" She said obliviously. She pushed open the door, and was then tackled by a small unicorn.
"Mommy!" Shouted dinky excitedly.
"Hey Dinkums. Hope you don't mind, but you've got a different sitter for tonight." She pointed to me with her hoof.
"Hi," I said dumbly, waving to her.
"Oh, wow!" Dinky exclaimed. "A human! I didn't know they could exist in this plane of existence."
Ditzy rolled her eyes. "I bet your father told you about them, didn't he?"
"Yeperoo!" She confirmed. "He says he used to always visit where they come from."
Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Behind Dinky emerged a brown earth pony stallion with a spiky dark brown mane and an hourglass cutie mark.
"Ah, you must be Ryan!" He said in an extremely British accent. "I am the doc- I mean, Time Turner." He extended his hoof.
"Sure you are, Doctor." I smiled as I shook a rather bewildered Doctor's hoof.
"How did you-"
"I'm not from the same Earth that you've been to." I explained.
"Ah. That might explain a lot."
"Doc, come on! We've got a reservation in 5 minutes." Ditzy insisted.
"Right! Pleasure to meet you, Ryan! Alons-y!" With that, he and Ditzy walked off, leaving me outside with Dinky.
"So, Dinky, aside from going to other planets in a TARDIS, what do you normally do at night?" I asked as we walked/trotted indoors.
"Calculus, mostly." She said, as if it were normal for a filly her age to do so.
I smiled. "That, I can do!"
"I'm telling you, it's two hundred and eight point oh seven three recurring!" I insisted.
"It's two hundred and thirty six point seven six recurring!" She argued.
"Look! You've done five X to the three over four! It's supposed to be five X to the three over three! We're using integration, are we not?" I countered.
"But- oh my Celestia you're right." She relented.
We were currently using integration to figure out the total area of a part of a graph to figure out how much fuel would be needed in a small model plane (which they don't have here, but Dinky somehow made a functioning model. Time lord's daughter and all that) to keep it flying for enough time to get to Canterlot and back. Said model plane was a near perfect miniature replica of a harrier jet.
"Okay," I said as we fuelled it up. "Did you calibrate it?"
"Yep! Now we just need the fuel and we can fly it to Canterlot and scare some nobles while we're at it."
"Wait, how do we scare them?" I finished fuelling and closed the hatch.
"Hot water cannons, duh! That's what the extra buttons on the remote are for!"
"Oh, I was wondering what the extra weight was."
We finished quickly and fired it up. The miniature jet engines did their work and the plane started to take off. It lifted off the ground and started soaring. I fiddled with the controls and it flew towards Canterlot, the live feed from a miniature camera showing our location.
When it approached Canterlot, I deployed the cannons and aimed at nobles that I didn't recognise. They squirted streams of hot water onto said nobles, sending them into a panic. After two minutes, we spotted the best target possible: Prince Blueblood. I grinned wickedly.
"Permission to concentrate fire on alpha priority target?" I asked.
"Granted."
At the command, I fired both cannons straight at Blueblood, causing him to run screaming and hide around a corner.
"Should I activate the VTOL system?"
"Go for it."
The jet slowed to a hover, before flying sideways to see Blueblood with his face paler than usual. The cannons reacquired their target and one minute later, Blueblood was nothing but a snivelling, steaming mess on the floor.
We returned the jet, laughing the whole time.
"Payback, biatch!" Dinky shouted.
"Language." I cautioned.
The jet landed in front of us and the wings folded up for ease of storage. We put it in a cupboard and decided to play cards.
It was about half an hour before Ditzy and the Doctor returned, at which point I was being destroyed at Texas Hold'em.
"Who's winning?" the Doctor asked.
"Dinky," I replied nonchalantly.
"Daddy!" Dinky yelled before leaping at him and attaching herself to his neck.
"Hey sweetie!" He replied, just as enthusiastically.
I rolled my eyes. "How on Equus are you the Doctor? You act completely different from how I've been lead to believe. I mean, you actually spun like a responsible parent."
"Maybe because your basic impression of me is based off a TV show imagined by a human so the Doctor you know has a more eccentric personality which is blamed on his seeming immortality, or rather his very extended life span?" He responded quizzically.
I blinked.
"That about explains it," I said. I stood up and quickly packed the cards away before placing the packet back on the shelf it resided on, then proceeding to repeat the process with the casino-style chips.
As I placed the box back, I suddenly became aware of a young presence beside me. Turning around and looking down, I was met with the saddened gaze of Dinky.
"Do you have to go, Mr Ryan?" She asked, her puppy dog eyes almost unbearable.
I knelt down and placed a reassuring hand on her... Shoulders? Is that the anatomically correct term? Nevermind. In a voice that was as calming as I could make it, I spoke. "Sorry Dinks, I have to go home now. But don't worry, I'll be more than happy to look after you if your parents go out again." I spared a glance at the duo in question and suppressed a smirk as they were both clearly giving eachother bedroom eyes. "And judging by what I can see, it will be quite soon." I added quietly. Dinky too suppressed a smirk.
I ruffled her mane before standing up and walking towards the Doctor and Derpy.
"I can't thank you enough for looking after Dinky tonight." Derpy said. "She wasn't too much trouble, was she?"
"No," I waved a hand dismissively. "It was quite fun! I'd be more than happy to look after her again if you need me to!"
The Doctor chuckled. "Thanks, Ryan. We may need to be of use of your services in the near future."
"It's no problem, really," I glanced at the clock on the wall. " I think it's best if I set off now. It's getting quite late." I walked towards the still-open door. "I bid you adieu!"
With a small wave, I set off at a jog on the way back to Rarity's, which wasn't hard with it being the second or third biggest building in Ponyville. I mean, seriously! How was it not in the background of every scene in Ponyville in the show!?
I arrived in less than ten minutes and was met with a darkened Carousel Boutique. Realising that everypony inside was probably asleep, I slowly opened the door, and tip-toed inside, closing the door behind me. As it clicked shut, the lights came on, momentarily blinding me.
I blocked out the light with an arm as my vision became less bleary. As I lowered my arm, I became aware of another pony in the room.
"What time do you call this!?" Rarity demanded.
Being unable to tame my inner troll, I blurted, "Hammer Time!" Before launching into a small dance backed by me humming the tune to 'Can't touch this'.
As expected, Rarity was unamused, and, if anything, my dance made her angrier.
I quickly stopped as her glare seemed to tear my soul to shreds.
"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" I asked. Rarity only grunted in response.