I shook at the ice pack strapped to my forehead and winced. It was a nice gesture, but I would have felt better if I was in a clinic instead of an interrogation room.
I glanced at the terrified pegasus next to me. "For what it's worth kid, I'm really sorry about all this."
The kid twitched. He too had an icepack, but his was held to his ribs. "C-Can you stop calling me that...?"
I smirked. "Sure kid."
"Will you two shut up!" Our target cried, rattling his handcuffs. "I can't stand your constant bickering..."
I snorted, shifting my metal bindings as I leaned back. "You didn't mind before."
He snarled a "THAT'S BECAUSE IT WAS A DISTRACTION HELPING MY MEN EXTRACT ME FROM YOUR MEASLY HOOVES!!! NOW SHOVE IT!"
I smiled. "Okay." I turned to the one way mirror. "You get all that?"
Sherriff Silver Star's voice came through the tube. "Yup, that'll do nicely for a confession. Thank ya kindly." He wandered into the interrogation room and undid our handcuffs.
The guilty stallion blanched. "Wha-? What?" He glared at me. "You tricked me!"
The rookie and I rubbed our hooves and stood up. I smirked "Fair's fair." That said we walked right out the door.
The sheriff followed us out of the interrogation room... As did a torrent of very creative profanity, but that quieted down as we wandered away. "Thanks for the help... I presume Golden Bounty sent you?"
The rookie stared at him. "You know the boss?"
The sheriff nodded. "Yup, we work pretty well with her."
As a former policemare, I raised an eyebrow.
The sheriff chuckled. "I know it sounds strange, but around these parts there ain't enough law ponies to go around. If I can get a little help from bounty hunters now an' then I ain't exactly in a position to say no."
Things really were different in the desert. The captain back home would have pulled his own teeth out before he asked for help from the likes of... Well, us.
Still, I wasn't going to look a gift pony in the mouth. "It was no problem Sheriff. Do you folks have a telegraph line? We should let Golden know the suspect is in custody."
He nodded. "I don't have any fancy tech lying around, but I'll be happy to get the paperwork for y'all. I suspect you're going to be hankering for that commission."
I shrugged. I couldn't lie, having actual money would be nice, and considering his resources his bail had been set pretty high... but I still wasn't used to this kind of work.
I glanced back at the interrogation room. I had caught a criminal. I had legitimately removed a danger to society. And I was in a police station on business...
I smiled. It wasn't ideal, but maybe I could make this work. I turned back to the sheriff "I am, thanks."
"Just doing our duty sir!" The kid said with a perfect salute.
The sheriff nodded, giving an uneasy salute in return. "Alright then, I'm afraid I've got a bunch of forms to fill out. Do y'all want to wait for them?"
I smirked. "That depends, do you have terrible police station coffee?"
He nodded. "The worst."
"Count me in!"
#
It was absolutely the most putrid coffee I had ever tasted. It felt like drinking ground charcoal... But Street Justice was having a good time, so I suppose I could bear it.
To be honest I was having a good time too.
There was a time... A long time ago... When I had friends in the royal guard. They were an amazing bunch, we'd hang out and chat and drink whatever weird stuff we could find... Okay, I'd just take a sip because I was scared I'd lose my self control, but that's not the point!
The point is... Before the ponies in the guard knew how messed up I was, the rest of the recruits had actually liked me.
Listening to the deputy tell stories while the chief did paperwork... It almost felt like I was back home.
"So this mean bunch of cattle came to town see? They wanted to rustle all our apples out of storage... And let me tell you, we did not have the horsepower to stop them! But Sheriff had a plan see? He got this local buffalo to paint himself all kinds of colors? And then when those cattle were least expecting it, he leaped out of the bushes and spooked them with-"
"And done!" The Sheriff said, stamping his hoof on a stack of papers. "This should be all you ponies need to collect your bounty."
I blinked. "Wait, we aren't taking him back? The bounty is in Fillydelphia."
The Sheriff looked confused. Street just held up her hoof. "Prisoner transfer is a different department kid. Don't worry, he'll get to trial." She picked herself up. I guess it was time to go.
I looked at street. There was something... Oddly bitter about her expression.
I... No one had ever accused me of being socially astute, but...
"Mr Deputy Sir?" I asked.
He tilted his head. "Yes son?"
I took another glug of liquid tartarus and gave him an uneasy smile. "Would you have time for just one more story? Please?"
He blinked and turned to the Sheriff.
The Sheriff nodded.
The deputy smirked and cleared his throat. Street sat back down, smiling.
"So this one time we had this cockatrice problem..."
#
Our boss was pacing. "Oh... I know this... This is the work of the Dark Kitten Catchers... That's for sure!" Golden shouted.
A few stories, a train ride, and a trip to the office later we found ourselves in for another one of Golden Bounty's rants.
I cleared my throat. "Okay... I'm genuinely terrified to ask, but... Dark Kitten Catchers?"
Golden Bounty nodded, staring up at her creepy cat clock. "Yes... They've been stealing my kittens for years! And they do the same to other Kitten Catchers..."
The kid looked nervous... Well, he always looked nervous, but now he looked more so. "So..." he said, "Are you saying that every time we go after somepony they're going to be guarded?"
Bounty shook her head. "Nope! Not every kitten engages their services, and they're hard to find. It's annoying!" She ground her teeth. "Whenever we catch them they clam right up! Don't say a word to the authorities and do their time in silence..."
Okay, that sort of behavior I was familiar with. Huh... So there was an organized crime ring of some kind that smuggled away ponies that got their hands on bail bonds...? I'll admit, it seemed pretty strange at first glance. What would be the motive? Anyone who had to take out a bail bond to escape prison certainly couldn't pay off a crime family.
I didn't have enough information. I turned Golden Harvest. "Ma'am, what do you know about these... Uh... Dark kitten catchers? If they're a threat we'll need to be prepared for them."
She shook her head, her golden locks settling down in a frizz. "Nope! Sorry, I'm not telling you anything..."
I raised an eyebrow. "What? Why won't you tell us!"
Even Swift Spear couldn't swallow that. "I'm sorry Ma'am," He said, "but that doesn't make sense. Your income is tied to our success and these... Dark Kitten Catchers... are clearly a detriment to that."
She giggled. "Silly guardling! That's not how this works."
She leaned over her desk, all the levity drained from her. "You may have brought me a kitten, but that doesn't mean I trust you, not yet. You get me more kittens and these little shits cause you trouble again, then maybe, maybe, I'll talk, but until I know you're not working for them you're on probation."
Okay it was long past time to beat a retreat. I picked Swift up and put him behind me. "Right... Okay Ma'am... Is there anything else?"
She nodded. "I have your next assignment lined up. It's taking you to Canterlot so I'm sure your experience with city police work will come in handy."
I nodded back, then turned tail and headed for the door.
"Street?" She said, stopping me.
I turned around... Slowly. "Yes Ma'am?"
She smiled. "For the record you both did good work out there. Rest assured, these meanies are on my shit list and I'll be doing whatever I can to take them down. Playing my cards close to my chest... It's nothing personal. I just can't risk telling you this early in our relationship."
I smirked, backing slowly away. "I love you too Golden."