Let me tell you, I have never been so confused in my entire life AFTER putting 2 and 2 (and 2) together on a subject. But now… I’m standing in a room with Twilight Sparkle, in Equestria, in her basement. My brain is having severe trouble processing this. Now I look like an idiot staring at Twilight with nothing but a blank expression on my face. How wonderful. Come on, you idiot! Speak to her! Yell at her! Just make something come out of your throat so that you can figure out what the hell is going on!
I manage to slow my breathing and heart rate down enough to be able to choke something out. “H-how did I get here? Why did you bring me here?” It’s not that I’m scared or anything; just really surprised that I’m talking to Twilight Sparkle herself. She just smiles at me and walks upstairs. “I’m getting really annoyed that you’re dodging my questions, but I’m assuming that was a gesture to walk upstairs with you,” I called out to the purple unicorn.
I begin up the oaken steps, following her to a large room in the complex. Sure enough, it looks almost exactly like it did in the show, though it is proportionally larger. There are tomes and grimoires and novels alike set in oak shelves carved into the walls. I pick one up that looked interesting. Beginner Spells and Parlor Tricks, it seems to be called. I flip open a page, effectively starting to leaf through the content, indulging the urge to itch my nose due to the copious amounts of dust just flipping a page lets up.
Hmm, let’s see, levitation, object manipulation, a spell called “Smoke and Mirrors”. These would be pretty cool if I were a unicorn. Though I rather like my hands, so probably -
“Hey, human!” is the sudden request for none other than my attention that is heard through my action, making me flinch and drop the book. “You wanted to know why you’re here, correct? Then get up here!” My, that unicorn is direct. Couldn’t even let me detour for a book, I think sullenly.
I climb the small ladder leading up to what looks like a small research room/bedroom/balcony room. “Only fitting for Twilight Sparkle to let science live in her bedroom, eh?” I say to the waiting purple magic-adept. She stares at me blankly before speaking for the third time since I woke up in Equestria:
“I never told you my name…”
…Oh, shit. I haven’t been conscious here for more than twenty minutes, and I already blew the cover I had thought up. Way to go, hotshot. I glance at her nervously, before sighing and putting on a composed face, just like I had practiced for years beforehand. “I’ll explain it to you once you elaborate as to why I’m sitting here in the middle of a library’s upper section in the middle of a world I only know as Equestria, talking to the Element of Magic herself, Twilight Sparkle.” Might as well spill it all if I’ve let some loose, right?
She gapes her mouth, most likely because she’s surprised that I know so much. She shakes her head and begins explaining herself. “Well, human, Princess Celestia – since you know so much about this place already, you probably won’t need an introduction – informed me of your existence through letter-” she levitates a scroll to my face, and I grab it from her magic and begin to read it, while still listening to what she had to say “- and I took it upon myself to bring you here and study your kind.”
It was my turn to be skeptical as I glare snidely over my glasses at the mare. “So… not only did you take an adolescent human from its habitat, but its own parents, to study it? That’s just bad scientific research, Twilight. You can’t research a species like that – animals’ behavioral patterns change when they’re taken out of their habitat.”
Twilight took a moment before finally groaning and facepalmi- oops, facehoofing, shouting out, “Oh, darn it! You’re right! That is the wrong way to study a species, isn’t i- WAIT. Don’t try to sidetrack me; I told you why now you tell me why – why do you know so much about Equestria if you’re from another world!?”
Dammit. I hoped she wouldn’t have caught on, but I guess I can’t outwit the smartest unicorn in Ponyville. Sighing, irritated, I begin my explanation. “First let me answer your question with another question. Have there – to your knowledge – EVER been any other humans here in Equestria before now?”
Twilight just looks at me like I’m crazy and answers, “No, there hasn’t, human. I don’t know where you were going with that, but wherever it was, there’s a detour now.”
Ha ha, Twilight Sparkle. There’s one other route to go with this. I smirk before asking, “Has there ever been anybody named Lauren Faust, then?”
Twilight looks at me again, only this time with more of an interested look. “Y-yeah, but she’s only mentioned in legends and myths. There’s no way she cou-“ I motion for her to stop with my hand as I step downstairs, leaving her in the middle of a sentence.
I notice a small podium with a binder on top, with names of books written on them. I leafed through it, before finding a book called The History of Equestria: Myths, Legends, and the Creator. I roll a ladder over to the designated spot and manage to lug the brick of a book down to ground level. I toss it up to the bedroom area and follow it upwards. After reaching the top, I sit down on Twilight’s bed, leafing through the tome, searching for something… Something…
“A-ha! Here it is! Let’s see, ‘The Beginning: Our creator, Lauren Faust. It is said that She herself created not only the two alicorns that rule our land today, but also the fabled creatures Discord, spirit of chaos and disharmony (see: The Elements of Harmony Part 2), Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings (see: Changelings), and Nightmare Moon, alicorn of dreams and nightmares (see: The Elements of Harmony Part 1), for She knew that with harmony, chaos must exist. She watched as the four creatures helped Her create the planet, the Sun, the Moon, the Sky, and the Beyond-‘ which is space, I’m presuming, “- and the three races that make up ponykind today – the Unicorns, the Pegasi, and the Earth Ponies. After doing this, She disappeared, without a trace, and not even the Four Great Rulers could find her.’”
I hand the book to the purple unicorn, pointing out the picture of the fabled alicorn – Red-maned and tailed, off-white color, and a glass of ink and a quill for a cutie mark. I sit, triumphant, staring at Twilight as she raises an eyebrow, before asking, “And what does Lauren have to do with anything from you knowing anything about who we are? You’ve a displacement of zero, and now you have to prove to me how this mythical book is real. Good luck, human.”
I swear I can feel the vein popping out of my forehead from irritation. She’s smart, but she doesn’t catch on very fast, does she, I think before groaning once again and continuing. “What is has to do with something, unicorn, is that there is a Lauren Faust in my world, currently living there. I don’t think there’s any coincidence either; baby names from your world and mine are extremely different, trust me. So currently, your and my world’s Lauren Faust is currently living in my world. She directed a TV series starring you and your six faithful companions; the show is called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It was all about you and your escapades to learn about friendship after meeting with five other ponies-“ I begin to name them and count them on my fingers, “-Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight keeps looking more and more flustered each second, quickly defending herself with, “A-and what makes you think that I should believe you, your theory, and this stupid mythical book?”
I stare at her flatly before countering with a well-aimed “You thought the Mare in the Moon was real, so why not this? And furthermore, why would you even keep something that you thought was incredible information in your library.”
Twilight sighs, defeated, before she collapses on the bed. “So, what is your full theory, human? You seem to have beaten my best arguments, so go ahead.”
I stand in triumph before beginning. “My theory is that somehow the creator of the world you live in today has changed herself into a human somehow and transported herself to Earth – my planet. She is also somehow keeping tabs on your adventures and watching you all, and is telling the stories to the humans on Earth, but how she is doing THAT while she is a human escapes me.” I sit back down, headache starting to form. The full force of what I had just come up with just brought my mind to pain when I tried to think too hard about it. Lauren Faust was an alicorn from Equestria turned human, and she’s been spreading these adventures of Twilight’s all over Earth – Probably to spread the idea of at least quasi-harmony to us humans, who always seem to be at each others’ throats, I think.
Twilight sits up and her ears perk up with her. She thinks for a second before looking at me in disbelief. “That’s actually… not the worst theory I’ve ever heard. It could be possible. After all, why would the alicorn creator of Equestria NOT be able to transform herself and go to other worlds? Ohmigosh, we need the Princess to hear this. Even she can’t remember much from back in the Beginning! Maybe she can fill us in, and vice versa! This is a good step in historical research! Good job, human!” She motions for a hand-to-hoofshake, and I oblige.
“By the way, you don’t have to call me human. My name’s Zack.”
The handshake ends and she lets out a breath she was apparently holding. “Well, Zack. It’s nice to formally meet you. And we shall begin experimentation soon, but first we need to see Celestia about this, it’s more important.” She trots off to her desk and levitates a quill to a to a well of in, dips it in and out, then moves over to a fresh, clean piece of scroll paper.
Well, this is turning out to be quite… I search for a right word as I sit on the Element of Magic’s bed… in Equestria. It’s turned out to be amusing. I haven’t been here for two hours and I’ve already figured out how this all pieces together. Truly my best piece of contemplation ever.
I face Twilight as she writes the letter to Celestia, whom I am surely to soon meet. A thought lingers at the back of my mind, and I push it forward long enough to process it.
How am I going to get home once this is all through?