//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: Home, Home on the Range // Story: Changeling See, Changeling D'OH! (Comment-Driven Story) // by Kersey475 //------------------------------// The Rutherford's comment 3 Fillies running around screaming like it's the end of the world? There's only one rational thing to do. "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! We're all going to get grounded!" you yell running around and joining the madness, causing them to shout more. At some point, you realize that you are the adult and you should take responsibility, the buck is wrong with you? You whistle real loud and get their attention to get them to stop. As the fillies are all running around in little circles in a panic, you just stare at them with an expression on your face that is a cross of bemused and worried as you think So... if those fillies were supposed to be in bed now, does that mean that their parents are out looking for them? Oh buck! What if they come by this clubhouse of theirs and they find them with a changeling? I'll be executed by live burial! Normally you'd be able to be more cool-headed about the situation, but since changelings feed on love you can (usually) sense emotions and the Cutie Mark Crusader's worry and fear get to you as well so- "AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! We're all going to get grounded!" you scream as you join in on this panic party. Kichi's comment you read that wrong's comment "Oh no! I'm gonna be in soooo much trouble! When mah sister finds out, she's gonna to ground me til I'm as old as Granny Smith" Apple Bloom panics. "I'm not allowed out this late without a responsa... Responsi... Whatever-that-word-is adult" Scootaloo panics. "Responsable" Sweetie Belle corrects. "*cough*Dictionary*cough*" coughs Scootaloo. "Nuh-uh." "Yeah-ah." "Nuh-uh!" "Yeah-Ah!" "Nuh-Uh... And at least I'm not a chicken!" Sweetie Belle snaps. "What?" Scootaloo asks in indignation when Sweetie Belle cuts her off when she gets another thought by exclaiming, "Sweet Celestia, Rarity's going to kill me!" "You? Sweetie, have you even been grounded before?" Scootaloo replied, "I mean what, she makes you sew dresses? Yeah its boring, but not hard." "Have you ever sown a dress with Rarity standing over your shoulder?!" Sweetie Belle harshly replies "She complains about the slightest mistake! 'Oh sweetie you're a millimeter to high! Oh no! You got the shiny glitter, not the 'shiny' shiny glitter!' The buck does that even mean?! I AM NOT DOING ANOTHER NIGHT OF THAT BULL-" "OK, OK! I get it! Calm down! Yeesh, sorry I asked!" Scootaloo replied. "Sakes, least tha worst that can happen ta me is a few extra chores..." Apple Bloom comments after a moment of stunned silence. "GAH! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU FILLIES AND THE EARS?!" you shout in annoyance as Sweetie Belle's volume snaps you out of your panic, but are ignored as Apple Bloom exclaims, "Wait, girls I got an idea!" "What?" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both ask. "Well kids are only allowed outside after dark with a trusted and responsible adult right..." "Ohhhhh..." Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both say in realization as all three of them turn their heads towards you. "Uuuhh.... No." you reply bluntly. "Pleeeaaaaseeee?" Say the fillies as they open their eyes wide and pout with trembling lips. "Yeah, 'Puppy Dog Eyes' is one of the first things we're taught as hatchlings. Let a veteran show you how it's done." With that you crouch low to the ground before you transform yourself into an even shorter toddler filly and look up at them with even cuter puppy dog eyes. As your transformation wears off with a tang of pain through your horn, the fillies stop their act and look each other in shock and confusion. "Shoot... It didn't work!" Apple Bloom exclaims in disappointment. "Yeah, he's good." Scootaloo comments. "But it always works!" Sweetie Belle insists. "Look... You get better thanks to our love so..." Scootaloo says, grasping at an idea, "You owe us!" "You do remember that I saved YOUR lives, right?" you counter, "I mean I still got the broken ribs to prov- Wait, I already healed those..." "But we gave you a fancy suit." Sweetie Belle adds. "I could just leave, you know." you respond as you're starting to get slightly annoyed at these fillies, "You're not giving me that many reasons to stay." "Because..." Begin to think Scootaloo. "Because you're a changeling in a pony town where the Elements live, your disguise doesn't work, the Everfree is dangerous even in the day, we can give you love, and if we get grounded you lose your only confidants in this town." Sweetie Belle lists. You stare at Sweetie Belle in surprise at her negotiation skills before you nod, "Good point, I'll stay." "No... We want a Pinkie Promise that you are not going to leave tomorrow or leave us behind." Say Scootaloo "Uuuhhh... Okay." you say uncertainly as you still don't exactly understand why those promises are that important but you perform the ritual. "I Pinkie Promise not to leave tomorrow or leave you three behind in exchange for your help... Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." "Great!" Scootaloo says "And remember! Breaking a Pinkie Promise is the best way to lose a frien-" "FOREVER!" "GAH!" you scream in fear as you whirl around in combat stance and desperately try to grab something to use as a weapon from your Saddlebag. "Wait Mr. DeWitt, that's just Pinkie Pie!" Apple Bloom explains. "Where the buck did she come from?!" you demand. "Duh! When a mare and a stallion have alot to drink..." The familiar-looking Pink Earth Pony begins before she starts rambling. "Is she like that everytime?" you nonchalantly ask. "Yup." Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo bluntly respond. "And then I say, Oatmeal! Are you crazy? But then..." Continued the pink pony "Gah! Make her stop before I end up smashing her in the face with something!" you exclaim in annoyance. "Hey Pinkie, ain't you supposed to be hosting a party next week?" Apple Bloom asks Pinkie, Pinkie lets out a long gasp before she mysteriously disappears. "Thank Chrysalis that's over." you sigh in relief. "Uh, Mr. DeWitt, next time you might not want to say that you want to smash ponies in the face." Apple Bloom comments. "Yeah, it sounds fun but will definitely blow your cover" Scootaloo adds. After that annoyance, you decide that now's a good time to come up with a plan to avoid... ahem, that.... Immediately make up a long, convoluted plan that requires a ridiculous amount of work and time, only for something much more practical and close by to come along. You and Applebloom argue about the practicality of building machines that can fly. Ritz; "It's like my granny always used to say..." You think of Granny Smith in a thought bubble, who says, "If we were meant to fly, we'd- wait, I'm not your grandma," poking you in the eye with a cane as she does so. "OK so I got it! " you exclaim, gaining the attention of present company, "Alright so what we'll do is hide Apple Bloom in an apple cart to get close while Sweetie Belle uses a candle to burn a rope connected to the house which Scootaloo will then uses to swing onto the Roof with Apple Bloom grabbing her hoof along the way where they will meet up with me and I can drill a hole in the Roof directly above Applebloom's bedroom using the flying machine we'll build out of ballpoint pens, chewing gum, paper clips, and duct tape!" you say as you pant for breath because the author was too lazy to add any commas to that excessively long sentence. "OK..." Apple Bloom started. "I've heard some bad plans before but... That.... Were ya even trying there?" "Yeah.... " Sweetie Belle joined in, "I'm surprised you came up with something worse than Scootaloo." "Hey!" Scootaloo exclaims. "Hey, it's like my granny always used to say..." you begin as you think of Granny Smith in a thought bubble who says, "If we were meant to fly, we'd- Wait, I ain't yer Granny!" She then proceeds to jab you in the eye with her cane popping the thought bubble. "Ow! Fine!" you grumble as you rub your eye in pain, "We won't do things the MacGyver way, but I do have another idea that may keep you girls out of trouble.." you say as you begin to explain a more realistic plan... ONE EXPLANATION LATER BrownDog77 comment Out of boredom, you check the pockets of your suit, Surprisingly you find a Golden Fountain Pen in your suit breast pocket, a Golden Lighter in your pants pocket, and a Golden Cigarette Case in your cuff shirt breast pocket. You don't know why, but you feel that these items are somehow connected to your cufflinks... We now find the four of you heading towards Apple Bloom's house as it's the closest seeing how the Clubhouse is on her farm/home; Sweet Apple Acres. As you follow the Cutie Mark Crusaders with Apple Bloom in the lead, you get the feeling this information should be familiar to you, but when you try to remember anything about Applejack, you just see a message in your head reading, Error: Memory File Not Found Due to Dual Lower Limb-Related Percussive Damage (1) Eventually you decide to look through the pockets of your suit out of boredom and to your surprise you find a Golden Fountain Pen in your suit breast pocket, a Golden Lighter in your pants pocket, and a Golden Cigarette Case in your cuff shirt breast pocket. Huh, the guy this suit was made for must be either very rich or very clueless. And why do I get the feeling these items are connected to my cufflin- "There's mah home." Apple Bloom points out when the farmhouse comes into view, interrupting your thoughts. With that you put the items away and think, Here's hoping I won't come to regret this kind decision. It could be my last if I'm not careful... "Gold Fountain Pen" "Gold Lighter" "Gold Cigarette Case" Added to Suit Pockets When you get to the farmhouse, you see a Big Red Earth Pony Stallion and an Orange Earth Pony Mare in the barn fussing about something. You quickly run in front of the fillies, look down at Applebloom, and say. "Follow my lead, I have to make a good first impression." "OK." "Hello there sir and madam!" you call out and they look up at you in surprise "Who are you and what are ya doing out here late at night?" the mare demands. "I'm Mr. Ritz Dewitt, and I believe I found your daughter." All three of the Apples choke at that. "Beg pardon?" Applejack asks with a bemused look. "Your daughter, Applebloom here, and might I say you have a lovely family." you say, not noticing the panicked "No" gestures from her and the other Crusaders. "That's my Sister!" Applejack exclaims. "Oh... So the Big guy isn't your hus..." "HE'S MY BROTHER!" exclaims Applebloom. You look back down at her, knowing your good first impression is right out the window. "Well how was I supposed to know?" you whisper, "All you said was your family was here!" you then look back up, "Sorry about that, I just assumed..." "Well ya'll know what they say about assuming. Land sakes, Applebloom is 8 years old! How old do you think I am?" Applejack asks with a snarl. "IIIIIII..." you're about to answer when suddenly you get a very brief memory fragment telling you that's a loaded question that mare's do NOT really want answered, so as your mind screams Abort Abort, your mouth freezes and you just keep saying, "IIIIIIII..." Luckily, the Big Red Stallion sees the situation as a funny accident and comes to your aid to dissolve the situation, "I'll go tell the others the girls are safe." he says as he leaves, "Anyway, what are ya'll doing out here so late?" Applejack asks. You then proceed to tell your foolproof story you and the girls rehearsed... Erised the ink-moth's comment Applejack stands in the doorway, staring you down with an expression that flickers back and forth between shock, disbelief, and pure irritation towards her little sister and her friends. The farmpony shakes her head and rubs an ear with her hoof, "Now... ah'm sorry. Would y'all mind runnin' all that by me again?" You breathe a sigh of annoyance and being from the top, "Okay, so... Around noon, all four of us were at the bowling alley, and we stayed there until about 7:30. At which time we noticed that Goth chick from the Breakfast Club was bowling in the lane next to us, so we asked her for her autograph. But she didn't have a pen, so we followed her out to her car. Then on the way we were accosted by five cultists who wanted to give us all personality tests, which were administered at the temple in Hollow Shades until 10:45 at night-" You pause to take a deep breath. "...afterwards we accidentally boarded the wrong carrige home and ended up in Rancho de Burritos Rojos, south of Castle Rock. But after hours of waiting, we finally lucked out and got a ride home with a griffin who was missing his left index feather, named Gary Bushwell, arriving home at 11:46." You finish your long-winded explanation. "And since I'd already come that far, I figured I'd walk them home too." After your recapping, Applejack looks even more shocked and confused than before. "Right then..." she mouths slowly "But who are you? I don't recall us bein' properly introduced." "Oh, of course. Where are my manners? My name is Ritz DeWitt, I came here from Canterlot hoping to find someplace quiet to hang out for a while. Things have been a bit rough for me, you see." You tell her, weaving in technical half-truths where you can. (2) "Well thank you kindly for lookin' out fer Applebloom and her friends." Applejack says with a tip of her hat, before turning her attention to the Crusaders standing next to you. "Y'all come on inside. I don't think I should trouble anypony else this late, so y'all can sleep here 'till morning, and we'll get you home tomorro-" "YAY! SLEEPOVER!" the fillies cheer as you cover your ears. "With a very sincere apology for makin' yer folks worry about you." Applejack finishes with emphasis, to which they all visibly deflate. "Well, if that'll be all, I'll just be going now." you say and give a nod, "Have a nice night." But as you turn to leave, you hear Applejack call, "Hold up there Mister DeWitt. Now it ain't none of mah business, but where are ya stayin'? I'd hate to think of a fine gentlestallion such as yerself wandering the streets alone at this hour." You're about to simply tell her not to worry, but Applelboom is too quick and tells her, "It's okay, we're letting him stay in out clubhouse since he's got nowhere else to stay." You groan in annoyance at her outburst. "Not to mention no job." Scootaloo adds while you facehoof. "And he's secretly a cha-" Sweetie is about to obliviously blurt out your secret but the other two shove their hooves in her mouth. "What was that last one?" Applejack says while raising a quizzical brow. Thinking quickly, you put on the "poor pathetic wounded stallion" act in hopes of drawing her attention away. "Okay yes, it's true! It's all true. I'm just a poor jobless dropout without a home or a friend in the world! WOE IS ME!" you say, falling to your knees and hamming it up as much as you can. Thankfully it worked as you see she isn't paying attention to the Cuitiemark loudmouths anymore. Now you just have to wrap this up and retreat to the clubhouse of solitude- "But do not worry about me, dear lady." you say as you suddenly get back up with a more casual tone, "For I am of a hardy sort and shall find my way just fine. Thus I bid you all a good night." And with that you turn around and begin to leave- "Now hold on there pardner. It just wouldn't be right of me to turn down a pony in need, especially one who helped mah little sister and her friends. I insist ya stay here for the night." Applejack says as she drags you back inside with an iron grip of kindness. "We've got a spare guest room of two or three fer when the family comes over. And besides, I bet Granny and Big Macintosh would be glad to meet you over breakfast." As Applejack drags you to the guest room, you think, In retrospect, I think I overdid it... THE NEXT MORNING Cock-a-Doodle-Dooooo! You're abruptly awoken from your slumber by the rooster's crowing causing you to groggily groan, "Grha... Shad up before I stuff you into a fried duc-THUD!" Before you accidentally roll out of the bed and slam face-first onto the floor. "Well, this day's off to a great start." you mutter as you get off the floor. With the jolt from the impact thoroughly waking you, you proceed to unwrap your scarf from your head and wrap it around the lower half of your face, put on your suit, tie, hat, and saddlebags, and leave the room. (3) As you come downstairs, you see the Cutie Mark Crusaders in the living room along with Applejack and... Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane, and some white unicorn with a purple mane? "Alright, Mr. DeWitt." Applejack says, "I thinks it time y'all came clean, partner." WHAT DO YOU DO?