Author’s notes:
<rubs temples>
“Agh, there is no use putting this off.”
<re-reads chapter 20>
“Kinda wrote myself into a corner.”
<stares at curser>
“Fuck it, let’s do this.”
<cracks knuckles and gets to work>
-
The fire raged as I sat up against the H2. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself, Ulik wouldn’t have wanted that. I knew that I needed to go back to the town and try to apologize, but my pride wouldn’t let me. Ulik would want that much at least. No, he deserves that much at least. I can’t let this just eat away at me. That is how I got to this world in the first place. Feeling sorry for myself. It was a vicious cycle.
I needed a drink, maybe a cigarette too.
I climbed to my feet, opened the door to the H2, and tossed my rifle in. I had one last service to give to Ulik. I grabbed my last remaining gas can and walked over to him. I maybe a monster, but I wasn’t going to leave him for the vultures. I was unscrewing the gas cap when a large plume of fire gushed out of the cave. I turned my attention to the sky and saw that a massive column of black smoke had risen into the sky. I knew it wouldn’t be long before someone showed up to see the carnage.
I dumped the last of the gas on both a nearby stick and Ulik’s corpse. The guilt slowly ate away at me as I walked over to the fire with the gas-soaked stick in hand and let the fire spread to it. I returned to Ulik’s corpse and tossed the torch onto him. The fire went up in a ‘whoosh’ as I took a step back and watched the fire engulf his remains. He was too good for this world and especially the one I was from. He was too good for me. I took another step back and pulled my handgun from its holster. I lifted it into the air at a 45 degree angle and fired three rounds with three seconds in-between each shot. It was a one man version of a 21-gun salute.
I lowered the gun and took a step back from the fire. The thick black smoke barreled into sky as I watch his remains burn away. Everything fades away in the end. He just faded before he was supposed to. Why did I get so many chances while he only got one? Why is fate being such a bitch? I never had to worry about this shit before I came here. I only had to worry about myself and I wasn’t that hard to get along with.
I turned around and walked back to the H2. The sun was beginning to make its way back towards the horizon as I placed my hands on the hood. The grey color of the vehicle absorbed a lot of heat from the sun and it warmed my hands to the touch. I took a deep breath and tried to brace myself for the inevitable slew of questions that were heading my way. I pulled my hands from the hood and climbed into the driver’s seat. I had to face what was coming to me. I was tired of running. So, so very tired.
You can outrun a lot of problems, but you can’t outrun yourself.
-
I waited for another half an hour before the slightest amount of activity started up. The fires had died out ten minutes ago, leaving only destruction and pain in their wake. The smoke continued to bellow out of the cave as I waited for the inevitable search party. Sure enough, I heard Dash and some other pony’s voice creep into my ears. I was glad to hear a friendly voice again. Something about it made the guilt go away for a moment before it crashed over me again. I sat in the H2 for another moment before I heard the voices close in.
I looked down at myself and found that I was still rather clean. The only indication that I had been in a fight was that some blood was still caked onto my shoes and gunpowder residue clung to my white shirt. I unbuttoned my suit coat and stepped outside. The sun was tickling the horizon as I stepped out and saw Dash and Fluttershy hover over the tree tops. I closed my eyes and steeled myself for the assault that was coming. I was sure that I was going to be called an ‘ass’ and all the other generic bad names that they could think of.
I slid my sunglasses off my eyes and let them rest in my hair. I was going to answer for my crimes. I took a step towards Dash and Fluttershy as they landed and stopped. Dash looked into my eyes for a moment before running over to me and hugged one of my legs. I was shocked to say the least. Surely the reaction would change as soon as she knew what happened. I looked over to the cave and the smoke had slowed to a trickle.
“You are not allowed to run away like that!” Dash yelled into my leg.
I down at her and she stared at me with those big purple eyes of hers. I think she was actually on the verge of crying. I wasn’t sure if it was for her sake or mine.
“Calm down.” I said trying to hold onto my composure “You need to know what happened.”
“I don’t care as long as you are ok.”
I looked up at Fluttershy and watched as she timidly made her way over to me. She stopped about ten feet from me. It was progress at least.
“You need to hear this.” I said as I pulled her off of me and knelt down to eye level “Ulik is dead.”
The guilt washed over me as Dash tackled me to the ground. She clung to me as I climbed back up.
“I killed him.” I said as Dash pulled her head back and gave me a scared look “I had too.”
The feelings of regret, guilt, and sorrow clung to my words as I avoided eye contact with Dash. Getting aggravated, she flapped her wings and used her hooves to grab my face and hold it still. She stared into my eyes as I felt my emotions take hold.
“What happened?” she asked with sympathy in her eyes.
This was the first time I accepted it. I broke down right there and fell to my knees. I buried my face into my hands to hide my pain. Dash dropped down to the ground and took a step towards me and rested her head on my shoulder. I let out a sob like damn child as she rubbed my back with her hoof to show her support.
“What happened?” she asked again.
“They did something to him. He had no emotions, no life to him. Whatever they had done to him had mentally destroyed him.” I said as I pulled myself together “I-I had to put him down. I failed him. I failed myself.”
Dash pulled my hands from my face and pulled me for a strong embrace. Not even my own mother was this supportive. I just held her for a few minutes as I heard Fluttershy speak for the first time.
“I’ll just leave you two alone.”
I pried my head away from Dash and watched Fluttershy take to the skies. I must have been the worst bodyguard ever. I needed more support than I had given. I could only wonder what the others were thinking of me. I left a nasty mess of the town. I let go of Dash and stood up straight. The smoke from the fire had finally subsided and I noticed that the sun was finally gone.
“Let’s get the hell out of here.” I said as I made my way over H2.
“Yeah,” Dash agreed “Let’s get out of the forest.”
I pulled the door open and climbed into the driver’s seat. Dash climbed over my lap and into the passenger’s seat. She pushed my rifle onto the floor and noticed the feather on the stock. She stared at it for a moment and didn’t say anything. I placed my hands on the steering wheel and the H2’s engine shot to life. I tapped my index finger and the fog lights shot on and illuminated the forest ahead. I didn’t have a thought in my head as I switched the H2 into drive and started down the trail.
-
I drove for a few minutes as the trail began to open up and the road came into sight. The cabin had been quiet for the most part and that was probably best. I needed the quiet to gather my thoughts once again. I could not dwell on what had happened today. I just couldn’t.
I pulled out of the forest and crested a large bump that separated the hill and the road. Finally, the tires connected with the road and the ride smoothed out. I accelerated to 40mph and switched on the cruise control. The fog lights illuminated the night as I made my way back towards town. I took my right hand from the wheel and placed it on the console. Dash placed a hoof on the back of my hand and traced the tire treads across it.
“You showed those changelings!” she said cheerfully, trying to brighten my mood.
“At what cost?” I asked as I turned my head and looked out my window.
“Don’t dwell on that!” She exclaimed “Now Ponyville shouldn’t have to worry about changeling attacks.”
“Hoo-fuckin-ray.” I said as I accelerated.
“Stop brushing me off!” she said as she reached over and turned my head to her “I don’t want you to beat yourself up.”
“If I don’t, who will?” I asked.
“I will if you don’t stop being such a downer.” She pointed out with a smile.
I turned my attention back to the road as Dash climbed over the console and curled up at my side. The town came into view as and my fog lights caught a few guards piling changeling corpses in a cart. Realizing who I was, one of the guards flagged me down and I pulled over to the side of the road. I placed my foot against the brake and opened my window. One of the guards opened his wings and flew up to my height.
“What’s your deal?” I asked.
The guard saluted me and said “We were told to inform you that the Princesses are waiting for you in Canterlot. They request your presence immediately.”
“Roger that.” I said taking this as an excuse to avoid the Elements till the situation died down.
The guard dropped down and returned to his position. I ran my options through my head for a moment before turning to Dash.
“Well, are you coming with me or not?” I asked as if I needed to.
“Ummm, duh?” she said as she pushed herself back into my side.
I shifted back into drive and pulled a U-turn. I stepped on the gas and the tires kicked some rocks before they gripped the road and step me barreling towards Canterlot. I figured this could only be bad, but hey, I might get to see Fizzy Draft while I’m there. I could definitely go for a drink.
-
I drove along for roughly twenty minutes before I could see Canterlot getting closer. The H2 roared as I sped up. The uneven road made for a bumpy ride as I drove down the straight road. Every once in a while, I would hit a large bump or rock that would throw me around before the suspension took over. Dash was still curled up in my side and her presence helped me cope with what had happened somewhat. I was amazed that she stuck with me when any other sane person would have run for the hills. She was still awake as the clock struck midnight and the moon hung high in the sky. As a fork in the road appeared, I swerved to the left, jarring Dash out of my side.
“Be careful would ya?” she asked.
Just to mock her a bit, I swung the wheel in both directions violently, shaking the cabin.
“Not cool!” she pointed out as she punched my shoulder.
I smiled a bit before my mind punished me with thoughts of Ulik. I had to think of something to cover up my guilt. I immediately switched my mind to what I remembered of the M1911A1 field manual .
‘The M1911A1 is a semi-automatic , air-cool pistol chambered in .45 Automatic Colt Pistol (ACP)…’
-
I neared the gate to the city within a few minutes and the guards flipped open the fence. It would seem that I was expected. I kept my fog lights on as I pulled into the city and rounded the corner towards the castle. I wasn’t sure if they were still awake but fuck ‘em; they wanted me here, so here I am. I pulled up to the area where I had parked during the Gala and shifted into park. The castle was well lit compared to the rest of the city, but I guess that without electricity it would be hard to keep a city lit with candles and lanterns. Plus in their defense, it was midnight.
Dash pulled herself out of my side and I immediately kissed her forehead. She shook her self in an attempt to keep herself awake. I’m guessing it was either that ponies had a much stronger internal clock or that this world was very much attached to a schedule. She rubbed her eyes and looked over to me. It was obvious that she wasn’t going to last much longer.
“Just go to sleep. I’ll be back before you wake up.”
Dash nodded at me as I reached over her and grabbed my rifle from the floor. Dash curled up in my seat as I stepped out of the cabin and onto the concrete sidewalk. I closed the door behind me and walked over to the castle entrance. A cool night breeze brushed through the air and seeped into my opened jacket. I gave a slight shiver as stepped up to the door and noticed to guards standing on opposite ends of the door. I walked over to the door and one of the guards stepped in front of me.
“What is your business at this time of the night?” He asked with a stern expression.
I placed the barrel of the rifle against my shoulder and gave him a look of ‘are you fuckin kidding me?’ The guard was unamused and just stood in my way.
“I’m here to see the Princesses. They sent word for me.”
“How do I know you are not lying to me?” he said with his expression unchanged.
“Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Let me in or I’ll use you for floor polish.” I pointed out “Don’t test me. I’ve had a really shitty day.”
“How dare yo-“ the guard said before he was cut off by the door opening.
Celestia stood at the door with a happy expression on her face. I wasn’t buying it. She turned her attention to the guard.
“Please let him in.” she asked in a polite yet regal voice.
I lowered my rifle barrel from my shoulder back into my right hand.
“Do as the boss lady says.”
The guard reluctantly walked back to his station before I looked back at Celestia. She rolled her eyes at me before motioning for me to step inside. I casually strolled in and waited for Celestia to strike up conversation. She closed the door and walked over to me.
“Follow me.” She said as she turned down a long hallway.
I jogged over to her side and followed her down the hallway. The hallway was long and boring, with the occasionally table and vase or mural on the wall. The hallway was lined with doors, each one labeled. We strolled along for a few paces before she spoke.
“You are awfully quiet today.” She pointed out.
“I’ve had a very bad day.”
“I have heard. I would like to thank you for your valiant defense of Ponyville. That is exactly the kind of thing I hired you for.” She said with a tone of pride in her voice.
“Glad I could be of service?”
I wasn’t one to take complements so this was an odd thing for me.
“You should be.”
“Did you hear about what happened after the battle?” I asked as we past a room marked ‘Observatory’.
“No.” she asked with a puzzled look.
“They captured Ulik-“
“I am sorry.” She said, cutting me off.
“Let me finish.” I said “I tracked down a local nest and burnt it to the ground.”
“Oh my-“
“Still not done. I found Ulik. They… did something to him.” I explained as my tone got darker “I was forced to-“
“No need, I understand.” She said with a sympathetic tone.
I exhaled as we neared the end of the hallway where a large oak door sat. Celestia pushed the door in and I followed. The room was dark, but I make out a few figures and that the room was lined with books just like Twilight’s house.
“Take a seat.” Celestia said.
Quasi tired, I slumped into a chair in the middle of the room. I had no idea what Celestia was planning but I knew it wasn’t going to be fun.
“Listen,” Celestia started “It would be beneficial to everypony if you talked with somepony.”
As if on cue, Twilight walked into the room and took a seat in a chair across from me.
“How exactly is this supposed to help?”
“Ryan,” Twilight began “you need to let these emotions out. They are going to eat at you until they come out.”
“Bullshit. I made it this far and have been undefeated.”
“That’s not what Fluttershy said.”
“And that’s why I don’t talk about feelings. People can’t keep their mouths shut.”
“I promise that I can.”
Celestia walked out of the room without saying a word and closed the door behind her.
“What happens if I refuse? You gonna lock me up?”
“Celestia will dock you pay.”
“Harsh.”
“Can we begin?”
“Fine, but you are going to listen to every word and I will not censor a goddamn thing. Capiche?”