Ever since I came to the magical world of Equestria, the one thing I have always admired is how the ponies make their own weather. At least this way, if I am told it's going to be a nice, I can arrange to meet up with my friends without many gallons of water suddenly dropping on us from out of thin air.
However, I was intent on today being a day spent at home. Given my inability to perform magic, I had to clean my house the good old-fashioned way — with plenty of elbow grease. Some of my unicorn and pegasus friends had offered to do it for me, but I had politely told them that this was something I could do myself.
And so it was that I found myself on my hands and knees, scrubbing away at my wooden floor like a man possessed. It was times like this when I wished for some technology to assist me, because an automated floor buffer would work wonders here.
The only thing accompanying me during my struggle to banish dirt from the floorboards was my MP3 player. I have a strange taste in music, and – before I came to Equestria – would download any song I heard that I liked the sound of. As a result of this impulse, if it can even be called that, my MP3 player is filled with everything from Eminem to Daft Punk and Village People to... Take That.
Right now, I was listening to 'Let In The Sun.' And as the song approached the chorus, I looked up from my scrubbing and smiled.
"'Open up your window.'" I stood up and undid a button on my shirt. "That's a good idea, lads, it is a bit stuffy in here right now."
I walked over to the window and, with a bit of effort, opened it. A cooling breeze caressed my face, making me sigh in content. But as I turned around to return to my menial labour, a voice called out.
"Good morning, Jack."
I froze on the spot and slowly turned to the source of the voice, whereupon I found – to my considerable shock – that none other than Princess Celestia herself was lying on my sofa. She was wearing her usual regalia, but was lounging around in the same manner I would after finishing a hard day's work.
"This is a rather comfortable sofa you have," she said. "Would I be right in assuming you got it from Quills and Sofas in the market?"
It was a simple question, sure — but this was a far from simple situation that I had suddenly found myself in. So, with this in mind, I responded to her question with the first thing I could think of.
"How the hell did you get in here?"