//------------------------------// // I’m not a pony // Story: A New Life // by Roman //------------------------------// I’m not a pony Oh…brother. If I said being a girl was the cherry on the cake, then what I’m about to tell you is probably going to be the icing. It looks like I have not only got the body of child, but mental state of one, too. Now that’s just great. I don’t care what people say, childhood sucks! Well… mine did anyway. We've already been there, so NO! I AM NOT GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN! If you weren’t paying attention then… then too bad, I hate having to explain myself. Especially when you’re in an alleyway and inside of a rusty dumpster, hearing the locals of a little kids show, TALKING outside of the said dumpster (which I took the liberty of turning over myself. Don’t ask how, I was running on instinct here.) COOING at you and telling me ‘everything’s going to be alright’ crap on me. Yeah, not going to work guys. I wish I had a watch. Then I could see how much time I have spent under this can. It feels like I've been under here forever. “Alicorn, how is that possible!” Okay, that’s a new voice. The sound of ‘ponies’ parting way to let someone else through. If whoever this newcomer was, they are certainly not getting me out from under this bin. The sound of hooves got louder as what I assumed the person, or pony in this case, whom the new voice belonged to, came closer and closer. Hey, guys, I don’t think hiding under this rusty dumpster will be prudent. It’s also starting to get hot under it, God, I’m going to a shower when I get ba… if I ever get back home. NO! No negative talk now, I… just… need to think. “…we’ve tried everything, but she won’t come out from under that rusty trashcan.” Huh, that one sounded male. Most of the ponies out there were female, well, makes a change. “Okay… Fluttershy, can you persuade her out?” "Oh, okay.” To be honest, the metallic tint the dustbin gave their voices was, actually quite amusing. “Come on out, little one. It’s alright, we just want to help.” Well, being under this inferno that has the nerve to call itself a garbage can is really starting to get to me. I’m getting nowhere being under here anyway, so… let’s see if they mean what they say. Sticking my hooves under the bin's rim (which was more difficult then it sounds, using hooves and all) I lifted it just enough to stick my head out from underneath. DAMN… I clipped my horn on the rim! Oh, God! It hurts so much! But, hay, it’s likely an extension of the skull, soooo. Yeah, it will hurt. Anyway, at my outburst of pain, I accidently let the dustbin fall heavily on my front hooves. Which in turn (even though I wasn’t proud of it) made me to cry like the little girl/filly I had become. Dame these childish emotions, and FUCK this stupid situation I’m i-i-i-in. Suddenly I’m lifted into the air, the rusty can clattering to what I assume is the ground. It’s hard to tell, I can’t stop these tears and embarrassing high-pitched whimpers. Now I feel like I’m being pressed against something soft, fuzzy, and what felt like furry arms cradling me. Blinking tears out of my eye’s, I looked up into… a butter yellow face with a very long pink mane and bluey-turquoise eyes. “It’s okay little one. Oh, my… what has happened to you?” Damn, she’s quiet. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she’s on the shy side. In any case, I’ve just had enough of… ALL OF T-T-T-H-H-i-i-s-s. Okay, now I am officially bawling my eyes out. “Shhh, shhh it’s okay. We just want to help you.” She squeezed me just a little tighter to her barrel. She began to hum some sort of lullaby I was not familiar with. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. I don’t know how long I lay in the yellow pony’s arms as she continued to hum to me. And actually, it was quite soothing. It certainly sent me into a half sleep trance. “Fluttershy, I’ll need to take her to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.” “Oh…Okay.” I felt the Yellow one's grip loosen around me. Which caused me to come out of my little trance. And finding myself surrounded by a purple aura of some sort, floating through the air. But before I had time to panic, I found myself wrapped in a pair of purple forelegs. Looking up at the pony in question, I saw it had a horn (a lot larger than mine, though), a dark purple mane with a violet and light purple streak in it, and a pair of light violet eyes. It smiled down at me, as I began to try and struggle out of its grip. I HATE being hugged! Actually, I do not like being touched at ALL! In my midteens I learned how to cope with the whole hug and touch thing. If I know it’s going to happen, I can prepare for it. But HUGS… are a very 'rare’ thing for me (I still don’t like them). Curse of my Autism, I say. Hey, how about we just call it A.S.D? Which stands for Autistic Spectrum Disorder. “Hey, hey. It’s alright, I’m just going to take you to someponies who can care for you.” Oh… crap! I’m guessing this is either going to end badly, or worse. No, seriously, whenever I try explaining something, I end up launching into a long and detailed explanation of the subject. Especially if it’s a subject I am interested in. The purple ‘unicorn’… no, wait, she has wings. So she’s an Alicorn too, eh? Her horn had lit up in that purple aura, which caused my eyes to squeeze my eyes tightly shut. And yes, judging by her voice (and the eyelashes). I’d say it’s definitely female. Amy told me that this one did a lot of magic. So, I had to brace myself for whatever she was about to do. The amount of Time Team programs I missed because she had to see My Little Pony. A blinding flash. Damn, even with my eyes shut it was still a bright flash. And… Oh, God, I think I’m going to be sick! What did she do? I don’t know about you lot, but I feel like every cell in my body was ripped apart and then put back together again. “Twilight, it’s been too long.” Oh great, someone new. Slow down, please. I need time to adapt to my surroundings. So I’m NOT going to open my eyes until I get SOMETHING that I know. Pl-l-e-e-e-a-a-s-se! “Twilight, my friend, how have you been since we last met?” F-U-U-U-C-C-K! I can’t take this anymore. Everything’s just HAPPENING TOO FAST! “I see you have a little guest with…” “Celestia, Luna, you, are, not, going, to, BELIEVE what we found!” Great, this just reminds me of my time in year 8 and 9. If you’re wondering what happened, then let me put it bluntly for you… I was bullied, HEAVILY! I was just made to feel like just a thing…and not a person. Just because I needed a scribe to do the writing for me, imitating my jumps and twitches, saying weird things and I didn’t understand names to me, and touching me… Emmett, my only friend, said it was to see my reaction. Okay, okay, just calm down. You're 19 years old, so just make an effort to try and cope with this. Slowly opening my eyes, I found myself looking up at, from what I gathered, to be, Twilight now. Well, she definitely had a smile on her face… or was it a grin? I can’t tell. All of a sudden, Twilight thrust me under the noses of two very tall mares. Their height made them rather intimidating, if I do say so myself, which wasn’t helped by the fact that their manes were blowing in a nonexistent breeze. Ah now I remember. Amy showed a picture she had drawn of these two. (A very crude picture, if you ask me. Even for a 6 year old. What? It was crude, don’t go getting wrong ideas, I am a perfectionist. Comes with being A.S.D.) “Look!” Man, Twilight is certainly excited. Which I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’m thinking the second one. Especially since I cannot read, err… what was it… ah, yes, Luna's (the dark blue one I think) and Celestia’s (the white one) facial expression. Or any facial expression. I could feel Twilight's front hooves shaking a little for some reason. “A NATURAL BORN ALICORN. JUST LIKE THE BOTH OF YOU!" Alright, you’ve lost me, now can I go home? This place, where things always work out for some reason. Or… I could put into practice irony. Supported education taught me it, But they say I keep using it in the wrong situations. But this doesn’t seem like wrong situation… I think. Well, it’s worth a try. Celestia suddenly took me out of Twilight’s hooves and put me gently down in front of her and Luna. “What is your… How did you get that awful black eye and those bruises?” After she said the ‘awful black eye and bruises’, I could plainly see water build up in her eyes. Right, time to answer questions and hopefully get out of here. But first I just want to try something. “Great, I escape castle Wolfenstein’s dungeon and end up here. How ironic is that?” What? It is, you play something dark and gory, and then end up somewhere light and happy. I IMMEDEATLY began to twitch and struggle, due to the fact that Celestia scooped me up with her forelegs, pulling me tightly to her barrel. Only to be snatched from her by a pair of dark blue hooves and squeezed even harder against Luna’s barrel. “HOW COULD ANYPONY THROW A FOAL IN A DUNGEON?" Damn, Luna is loud. Straining my neck to look up at her face, I saw she had her eyes squeezed shut and was crying heavily. Like I said, something light and happy, and which always works out in the end cannot handle the darker stuff. Go figure. Celestia and Twilight also had tears streaming down their faces. For heaven's sake, boy. LEARN to judge the situation correctly. I’ll probably end up making the exact same mistake again. “What's Castle Wolfenstein? Where is it?” I looked to Twilight, who moved a little closer to me. Well, I do like answering questions on things I am enthusiastic about. Which will lead to a long and detailed disruption. I can’t help it, I just have to. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. After I explained Wolfenstein: the Old Blood right up to the level I nodded off at, which was the village tavern outside the castle. Which then led me to explain about the Nazi party, which led to explaining their war crimes and the death camps. (…) I then went on to tell them about my family, and yes, I told them I was 19 year old human MALE named Alex Jones, diagnosed with A.S.D., I did explain what that was as well. Unfortunately, that still didn’t get Luna to let go of me though. Still didn’t stop them all crying. Actually, I’d say their crying increased. Luna’s hug tightened a little, to the point breathing became hard. I was also starting to get a very damp mane from all her tears. Man, her tear ducts must be connected to reservoirs. Twilight in the meantime had cuddled up to Celestia and was sobbing into her coat. Even Celestia looked like she cried enough to fill two 4-Gallon buckets. Celestia finally broke the silence, “How… how could ponies… do such atrocities!” “AAAAAAHHHHHH!” Oh, GOD, that was too loud, too loud. Luna began to gush over me. Saying all the soothing words in the dictionary. Celestia quickly trotted over to me and nuzzled me just under my horn. “I’m so sorry, little one. It’s just… what you’ve bee-” I had to cut her off at that point. “Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Hang on a sec, I said Wolfenstein was alternate reality, and those war crimes weren’t done by ponies, they were HUMANS, I’m human, my mum and my little sister. We’re all-” I was cut off by Celestia’s hoof being gently placed over my muzzle. She had a smile and was still crying. “It’s alright, sweetie. You're safe now, you don’t need to hide in a fantasy anymore.” She finished by removing her hoof and giving me another nuzzle. “And I will personally see that brave pony B.J. Blazkowicz, who got you out of that… dreadful place, is awarded for his courage.” Okay, this is getting out of hand… hoof, whatever but seriously, I rea… “And they will PAY for harming my daughter!” What? Take a guess who said that. Luna suddenly pinned me to her barrel. She flapped her wings and flew through a pair of huge double doors. “Come, my little Moonlight Eclipse. Mommy is going to give you a bath, put you to bed, then read and sing to you.” “My name is Ale-” “Shh, shh. Come, little Moonlight, it is time to give back what was taken from you.” Either I didn’t explain my self clearly, or, I chose the wrong moment to practice irony and I just made my situation worse. (…) A little help please… someone, anyone. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. Celestia and Twilight watched Luna fly out of the throne room with the poor filly. “I’m worried about her, Twilight. Did you see her reaction to just being simply hugged?” Said Celestia, turning to look at Twilight, who was still staring after Luna. “She said she was diagnosed with this Asperger’s Syndrome. Do you think she developed it during her captivity?” Celestia turned to look back at the double doors. “Whatever caused it doesn’t matter now. We must find this Blazkowicz, and thank him for saving the first Natural born Alicorn in thousands of years.” She let out a small sigh, “I don’t know if my sister is the right mare to take care of her. She will need therapy, to break her out her delusional world and into reality.” “I’ll send the word out across Equestria, that there is now a fifth Alicorn princess.” “Thank you, Twilight.” Twilight’s horn glowed and she teleported back to Ponyville, while Celestia went to lower the Sun, and end another day.