Chapter 3: In Which Dudley is Discovered and We Feel Sorry for Him (Plot twist)
Dudley could hear the drizzle of rain as he rolled over in bed and tried to go back to sleep. He always slept in on Saturdays.
Then the lights in his room came on and Dudley flinched and rolled over to see who dared to disturb his slumber.
As his eyes adjusted to the brightness he could see Applejack standing by his door with her hoof on the light-switch. Pinkie was bouncing up and down in the middle of his room, her pink curls as springy as ever and Twilight was emerging from the closet with one of his text books in her mouth.
"Up and at 'em," Sank AJ in her southern drawl, "Can't have you layin' around here. You've got things to do."
"Yeah!" Chimed in Pinkie, "Don't forget Harry's coming back today."
"And you should really study for the pop quiz you know they're going to have on Monday," said Twilight, levitating the book in her magic.
I sleep in on Saturday, Thought Dudley to himself as he squinted groggily at AJ.
"I know," muttered a gentle voice from beside his bed and he saw Fluttershy rubbing the carpet with one hoof and trying not to look him in the eye, "And we're really sorry to wake you up like this, but if it's not too much trouble-"
"Rise and shine yah sleepy varmint," and AJ began flicking the lights on and off in rapid succession.
Dudley groaned inwardly and, at last, gave in.
OK, I'll get up. Please stop flashing the lights.
AJ quit. Pinkie hopped over and whipped the covers off the bed, turning herself into a miniature ghost as the blankets landed on her head.
Dudley sat up and stretched. Pinkie was now at the helm of the light-switch. The room looked like it was being illuminated by a strobe light.
Twilight poked the ghostly bulge in the blanket and it deflated on the floor. Rolling her eyes, Twilight's horn glowed and her magic made the bed as Dudley stood up.
He stretched and, still squinting, put his hand on the light-switch, "Could you please stop that Pinkie?"
The lights came on and Dudley opened his eyes to find himself all alone in the room. His text-book sat on his desk, his bed was made and his clothes were folded and resting right where Pinkie had been standing.
Or had she been standing?
Dudley sat down in his chair and began to seriously contemplate these ponies.
Sure, they'd been getting him to do things over the past few months, but that had all been his imagination. Waking him up in the morning on the other hand? This was starting to get a little too weird. Had it all been a dream? Was Harry playing some kind of magical prank on him?
"Wouldn't that be cool?" Came a voice from behind him, "After all, we are awesome! Right?"
Dudley, now thoroughly awake, rolled his eyes and headed downstairs for breakfast.
As Dudley ate the scrambled egg, bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich his mother had made for him, he listened to his father lay out the plan for the day and unhappily pick at his healthier breakfast.
"...And then after shopping we pick the boy up and come straight home."
"Did we forget anything you'd like dear?" asked his mother, looking up from her list.
Dudley swallowed and looked at the kitchen table. An idea had just occurred to him.
"You suppose I could stay home today instead of picking up Harry? My physics professor hinted there might be a pop quiz on Monday and I want to be prepared."
Vernon gave Dudley a suspicious look and said, "Now you don't need to become a rocket scientist my boy. Grunnings will be happy to take you, whatever your grades."
Looking at his mother, Dudley continued, "I could clean my room too..."
His mother was delighted with the idea and Vernon reluctantly agreed, commented under his breath that, "if 'the boy' were normal he could just take the bus."
Just then AJ walked in, stood up and, resting her front hooves on the table, ha-hem-ed, jerking her head towards the fruit bowl.
"By the way, could we get some more apples please?"
His mother nodded and jotted it down on the list as Dudley's father glanced at him with a rather irked look which morphed into sly expression.
"I say my boy, how about a spot of toffee pudding or a trifle or two to celebrate your improved grades?"
Dudley shook his head and was about to turn down his father's request when a bobbing pink head started bouncing up and down and into view on the other side of the table.
"Could we get some cupcakes?" He asked.
His father, while not particularly keen on cupcakes, quickly snapped up the chance to bring any kind of dessert back into the house and had Petunia add it to the list.
As he watched his parents leave the driveway, Dudley could barely contain his excitement. Letting the curtain fall back into place, he made a beeline for his bedroom.
Rainbow Dash was laying on his bed, her hooves behind her head as she relaxed. She seemed uninterested as Dudley sat down at his desk and prepared to login to his computer. Before he could do so, there was a loud 'ah-hem' from the doorway.
"What?"
"You promised yer mother you'd clean up yer room."
"I'd get to it."
"As ah live and breath, ya'll are alike as two peas in a pod."
Dudley wasn't too familiar with AJ's country-isms but he was relatively positive that 'ya'll' referred to multiple people.
"Huh?" He asked, turning to look at her.
"Applebloom. She says practically the same thing."
"Uh-huh," mumbled Dudley, trying to focus on his computer as he input his password. Behind him, out of sight but not out of mind, he could feel AJ frowning at him.
"She'd say, 'But Applejack why do I have ta do it now? My gettin' goin's barely got started.'."
Dudley opened up Youtube.
"And I'd say 'Well, you should get to work and get it done, before the gettin' goin' get's good.'."
And with that, Dudley stopped what he was doing as AJ broke into song.
"Keepin' busy is keepin' good,
keep on goin', just like ya should.
Call me crazy, misunderstood,
but you won't here me complain...
'Cause you got time to spare,
fun to share,
Yer not alone,
a job, well-done 'fore yer parents get hoooome."
Sighing, Dudley got up and started cleaning his room. He had to admit it wasn't that difficult with AJ singing along, although he was a little sad when the music video ended and he still had to finish the job. Still, for a brief moment, he could almost believe AJ was singing along.
It's times like these when I wish they really were real, he thought to himself.
"We're as real as you need us to be, or somethin'," said Rainbow, still lounging on his bed. Dudley rolled his eyes.
Before too long, he was done. Even he had to admit the room did look better without all the clutter.
"Now, how about some studying?" Said Twilight.
"Woah, cut the dude some slack Twi," said Rainbow, "His parents aren't gonna be back for a while. Why don't we chillax a little first."
"I'm with her," said Dudley before Applejack could say anything, and he sat down at his computer.
He browsed Equestria Daily, adding some more artwork to his computer background, watched some PMVs and read a few crack-fics. After an hour or so he leaned back in his chair and stretched. As he did so he became aware of a gentle 'pad-pad-pad-pad-pad-' and looked to his right to see a perturbed Twilight tapping the floor with her hoof.
"We really don't have time for this-" she started.
"I've got plenty of time," replied Dudley, "After all, you're just a figment of my overactive noodle, yah uptight snoodle."
Twilight's eyes widened in shock and then narrowed to twin slits of terrifying rage.
"Pinkie get me a mysterious stick that you can talk to and I can poke him with."
Next thing he knew, Dudley was being furiously prodded in the side with the blunt end of his Smeltings stick as Pinkie cheered on 'sticky' and Twilight muttered under her breath about the outrageous nature of Dudley's slight slight.
Dudley let Twilight prod him for a good 20-30 seconds before he gave in, under the condition that he could listen to whatever he wanted to on the computer while he worked the practice problems. Twilight was reluctance until he pointed out he was imagining her in the first place and could always take her stick away. Pinkie implored Twilight to "think of sticky's children!" and Twilight gave in and set 'sticky' back on the windowsill where Dudley had left it.
After reviewing the chapter, Dudley grabbed some scratch paper, opened the text book to the practice problems section and started browsing Youtube for something to listen to.
His gaze wandered the page until he found an audio reading of a fanfiction he'd heard good things about.
As the story progressed further, and Lyra began to piece together the history of humankind, Dudley found himself staring for long periods of time at the same equation, lost in the story rather than the math. He was soon just as invested in Lyra's obsession as she was, and was paying the story too much attention to bother about studying.
As Dudley continued to listen he could hear the loo calling him, but he tried to ignore it. Physical needs be darned, Lyra was making progress and the story was getting better!
As the truth of Lyra's past began to come out, Dudley shifted in his chair. The excitement of surprise discoveries sent shivers up his spine.
At last, he gave in. He paused the video and hopped out of his chair to make a quick dash to the restroom.
Relieved himself at mach speed, he could hear the front door open and his family stumble in, berating Harry all the way. Dudley wasn't sure how long they'd been gone, or how long he'd been listening to the story for that matter, but looking out the window he guessed that it was some time in the evening, approaching supper-time.
He could hear his mother coming up the stairs and open the door to his room to check on his progress. The inward glow of satisfaction from a job well done was echoed in his mother's exclamation, and he felt rather taller than he actually was.
Then an awful thought occurred to him. He had swapped tabs to a non-pony subject... Hadn't he?!
Dudley could feel the icy cold grip of fear as his stomach dropped out from under him and the house became deathly quiet.
He sat there praying that, any moment, his mother would knock on the door and call out that dinner was ready and he should come downstairs. But all he could hear was silence.
Dudley's imagination started drumming up situations for when he would exit the bathroom.
His parents had pulled up his browser history and... No. His parents didn't know the first thing about computers. Well, his mother had seen the video he was watching and decided to close the browser... to reveal his desktop and the plethora of pleasing pastel pony paintings plastered there.
Dudley washed his hands and opened the door to the peer cautiously into the second floor hallway. The house wasn't as silent as he had thought. He could hear his parents downstairs, discussing something in a hushed manner.
Opening the door to his bedroom he took a quick peek at his computer and his heart stopped as he beheld the background artwork of his desktop. He had never been so horrified to see Rainbow's grinning face looking back at him. They'd seen his computer!
Dudley didn't know what was next, but he knew that his worst fear had come true. Maybe he could just stay upstairs and ignore the whole-
Harry was talking! His parents must have pressured him into spilling the beans.
As terrified to consider the repercussions and accusations he was about to face, as he was wont to remain exactly where he was standing, Dudley couldn't stand the thought of his parents forming their own private, incorrect assumptions about his hobby.
Rainbow slipped out of his room and sauntered down the stairs towards the voices. Her calm air, gave Dudley the confidence to follow.
His parents were talking in the kitchen. He could see Harry sitting in a chair at the kitchen table, his head was bowed just enough that Dudley's parents weren't paying attention to him, but Dudley could see Harry's eyes flicking between the unseen parents. Then Harry's gaze turned towards Dudley and he realized that his presence was no longer unknown.
The talking had stopped.
His parents stood on the opposite side of the kitchen island, staring at him almost like he was a stranger to their house. Dudley's mother wore a worried expression, while his father's face had a more dour and distrustful look.
His mother spoke first, "Duddy deary... would you like to sit down? I could make you something to eat..."
Vernon gave Harry a swift jerk of the head and a rather dismissive grunt to clear out. Strangely enough, as Harry left the room, Dudley would almost rather he stayed.
Beside him, Rainbow set her hooves and stared, unwavering, at his two parents. Dudley crossed his arms and planted his feet, a series of explanations, accusations and excuses flying through his mind.
I know what you saw! So what? It's a kid's show.
What's with the Spanish Inquisition? Am I in trouble? You know there's plenty worse stuff I could have been looking at.
You got a problem with my choice of entertainment? Too bad. It's an incredible show, not that you'll ever know.
I'm sorry Mom and Dad, but it's a great show. The stories are awesome, the community's fantastic, and I'm not deserting the herd!
But what came out of his mouth was, "What is it?"
Dudley's mother took the lead, "Duddy, I know you've been... different, lately. But, I was just in your room-"
"It's clean isn't it?" Dudley asked, hoping to smooth things out even the tiniest.
"Yes dear, you did a wonderful job. But it looked to me like you were watching something strange on your computer, and when I closed the video player your computer had an... even stranger picture on it. It didn't seem to fit you at all dear."
"When your mother came downstairs we got Harry to tell us what he knows. You've apparently been watching this drivel for some time now," Cut in Vernon, his arms crossed.
"Excuse me Dad, but I don't insult your interests for no reason," said Dudley, furrowing his brow, "Besides, it's just a cartoon TV show I watch every now and then."
"It's for little girls!"
"It's all-age appropriate. Is there a problem with that?"
"Of course not deary," said his mother, trying to bring some air of calm back into the discussion, "You can watch whatever you want. But why not have something a bit more... appropriate on your computer?"
"What would you consider appropriate?"
Dudley watched as his mother tried to describe his past interests.
"What about those war games you used to play with your friends? You used to really like those."
He thought back to those late nights with his friends online, camping near spawn points with an RPG and squatting on the corpses afterwards, while a sea of profanity flowed freely in one ear and out the other. He could also remember how his mother fought to get his attention. She'd try to get him to finish his homework, clean up his room or just come downstairs for dinner.
"You didn't."
His mother didn't know what to say to that, which unfortunately gave Vernon the opportunity to enter the ring.
"No son of mine is going to be watching cartoon shows about baby horse girl toy nonsense!"
"Why?"
"It's not proper, good heavens my boy, it's practically... unnatural."
Vernon was blustering furiously now and, at the mention of the extra-natural quality of the situation, Petunia shuddered.
"What's unnatural about watching a television show? You do it all the time."
"It's what you're watching," said his mother, taking hold of Vernon's arm to keep him in check, "Boys your age don't watch shows like that."
"Actually Mom, that's exactly who is watching it. About 80% of the audience are guys just like me."
"What makes you so sure?" asked his mother.
"The census data they compiled."
"I don't care how much abnormal data you come up with," said Vernon, his face flushed, "Dursleys are normal people. We don't go sticking our noses in strange things we don't understand. We know our place!"
Perhaps in order to placate Petunia, Vernon adopted a forced smile and held up a bag of groceries, "We picked up some sweets from the shop. What do you say we open them up and catch the game tonight? Just the two of us."
Dudley felt like was being pulled in different directions. Part of him wanted to go back upstairs and finished Anthropology. Part of him was bouncing up and down in the kitchen with excitement over the cupcakes, and part of him wanted to just nod and keep the whole thing a secret. While yet another part of him wanted to sit here and hammer it out with his parents till they accepted ponies.
At last he decided that he wasn't really that hungry and just wanted his parents to leave him alone and finish the story. However, when he told his father he wasn't interested in watching the game, his father's face seemed to cave in, and the unhappy smile returned to its previous grimace.
"Stupid shows like that will ruin you. Nothing good'll come out of that, you hear, nothing good."
At last Dudley had had it, "You know what Dad, those ponies have taught me more than you ever have. They showed me being kind can be cool, generosity builds happiness and, honestly, friendship really is magic!"
At the mention of magic Petunia nearly had a fit. Her polite, doting demeanor vanished as she recoiled from the hated word and stared, eyes wide in terror, at her son.
Vernon had changed from a bright red to a darker shade of magenta and seemed to be having trouble breathing.
"DON'T YOU EVER SAY THAT WORD IN THIS HOUSE!" He yelled at Dudley, "There's no such thing as magic!"
Dudley watched his father hug Petunia, sans the comforting attitude, as if to deny Dudley had just spoken a taboo word in the Dursley home; a home where perfectly normal, ordinary, not-in-the-least-bit strange people didn't use words like 'magic'.
Dudley should have apologized, he knew it was the right thing to do. But some part of him, left-over from before, was enjoying making his parents uncomfortable... Which was why he opened his mouth.
"Just because of Harry?! I don't care who or what he is, or what he can do. I've found a show that has a magic of its own, and now I don't have to be afraid of him anymore. He's no more dangerous than a pegasus or unicorn-"
Dudley had gone too far. His father stomped out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. Dudley, suddenly gripped with fear, dashed after him, leaving his mother sobbing in the kitchen.
From his room, Dudley heard the sounds of his father ripping his computer cord out of the wall and saw him step out carrying his tower and monitor under both arms.
"THOSE ARE MINE!" He yelled.
"Wrong my boy!" Said Vernon, shaking his head and glaring at Dudley, "This is my house and my computer. And until you learn that and apologize to your mother, these stay with me!"
Dudley reached for his computer, but froze as his father raised the monitor over his head, threatening to smash it.
"YOU'RE GROUNDED! Now get in your room and stay there until we let you know otherwise."
Dudley lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. The silence of the room contrasted with the bickering he could hear coming from his parents' bedroom. Petunia seemed too shell shocked at what had occurred to stand up for Dudley and so Vernon had taken the lead in punishing him and had confiscated his phone as well.
His father had locked his computer in the shed and then decided, with his mother, that Dudley should go without dinner. His stomach had just grown quiet in the last hour or so and now he was thinking.
Dudley knew he had made a mistake. Even though he disagreed with his parents about the show, he knew that throwing it in their faces like that wasn't helping anyone. Still the cold hard part of him left over from his youth kept him set in his decision and he didn't budge from the bed.
Still, the fact of his wrongness, wouldn't let him rest and kept buzzing through his head like a mosquito, until there was a gentle knock on the door frame to his room.
Dudley turned his head to see Harry standing in the doorway.
"What?!" He spat. The fact his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone unconsciously imparting a sharp tone to his voice.
Harry set a Tupperware bowl and a bottle of water by the door and turned to leave.
"Wait Potter," said Dudley, sitting up in bed, "Thanks."
Harry returned Dudley's thanks with a simple nod of his head.
"Harry? I'm bored." Dudley looked at where his computer used to be, and then back to Harry. As his gaze met Harry's, he remembered Harry didn't have a computer, or much of anything, "How do you... What do you do when you're bored?"
Harry looked at the ground for a moment then back at Dudley.
"You get used to it."
Harry had barely left when Dudley got up to get the food. As he stood with the bowl of shepherd's pie in his hands he glanced to his right and saw his mother staring at him from the her room, the door halfway closed. She had a look on her face which Dudley couldn't quite read, it seemed to be a quarter-ways between sad, confused, angry and thoughtful all at once.
But as she closed the door, Dudley decided she didn't seem angry at Harry for bringing the food.
A gentle flame flickered to life inside of him, threatening to melt that last layer of resentment he was harboring. But before he could squash it, he felt a pair of a yellow wings brush up against his leg as Fluttershy leaned against him and another part of Dudley caught fire and burned away to reveal something new, magic and better than before.
I'll apologize tomorrow, he said to himself as he shut the door.