Rising up out of the stream, water spilling from his sopping sides, Tarnished Teapot gave himself a shake, sending water everywhere. He felt clean again, but he was certain that he could still feel sand in his plot crack. He gave himself another shake, whipping his head around this time, feeling a bit more like his usual self.
He stood on the sandy pebbled shore, glanced around the camp, came to the conclusion that he didn’t care that he was being watched, marched over to Maud, grabbed her in his telekinesis, lifted her, pressed his lips to hers, gave her a breathless kiss, nibbling on her lips as well as slipping her the tongue, set her down, and then went over to a rock to sit down so he could have some tea.
Fanning herself, Maud’s eyes blinked with rapidity as her sides heaved.
Tarnish had no idea what had gotten into him, but knew it had something to do with a large hydra, a rooster lizard, and a cave full of spiders. He lifted up his tea flask, pulled off the stopper, and took a few sips. After a couple of swallows of tea, Tarnish realised that he could be a botanist if he wanted to, but still do a little hero work on the side. He also knew that he couldn’t get carried away. He wasn’t going to go out and find trouble, but if trouble happened, Tarnish was going to deal with it. Hopefully with Maud right beside him, because Maud got stuff done.
Unaware that his confidence had blossomed into something meaningful, Tarnish sat up a little straighter, held his head a little higher, and, as he looked at the pegasus foal lying in the sand, he realised that his budding skills as a botanist had saved both himself as well as Grey Owl. It was a fantastic feeling. He had made a difference. His stomach gurgled, uncertain about his greasy breakfast of macaroni and cheese, but Tarnish ignored it.
His horn glowed with a bright blue light as he lifted Flamingo. He pulled the sword from its sheath and he heard a yawn. “I made you a promise, I need to keep it.”
Flamingo bobbed in the air near Tarnish. “Sunny! Sunlight! Oh, that feels good!” The sword paused. “You made a promise?”
“I promised you a good cleaning and some time in the light if you helped me against the spiders—”
“EGADS! SPIDERS! WHERE?”
Tarnish’s eyebrow lifted and his confusion caused his nostrils to flare. “You helped me rescue a foal and clear out a cave full of spiders.”
“I did?” Flamingo shook herself, dancing in the sun, and then bobbed in front of Tarnish. “Wait, I remember you… you stabbed me into a bunch of yucko spiders, you cretin.”
Maud snorted and then returned to her study.
“But you also kept me safe in the dark, Mister Teakettle.”
“Teapot,” Tarnish corrected.
“Yes, Rusty Teakettle, the ignorant cretin that stuck me into gooey, hairy spiders.”
Taking a deep breath, Tarnish swallowed a caustic retort. The sound of Gorgonzola and Ortzi’s laughter was galling. “My name is Tarnished Teapot and we made a deal and I’m trying to honour that.”
“I don’t remember a deal, but I never had a good memory. I’m told I’m a little flighty and my head stays in the clouds.” Flamingo flared with a brighter pink light for a moment. “You must be one of Princess Celestia’s knights… you’re honourable and you keep your word.”
“No, I’m just a common pony,” Tarnish replied.
“Common ponies don’t go into caves full of spiders to rescue foals… only an idiot or a knight goes into spider caves, and if you are not a knight, you must be an idiot. What are you doing out of your village?” Flamingo began to laugh, bobbing and bouncing around Tarnish’s head.
Sighing, Tarnish lifted up a woollen blanket, lacking anything else, grabbed Flamingo, and began to look her over. His steam cleaning had done a good job of removing spider goop. He began to rub the blade with the blanket, polishing it.
As he rubbed, the sword moaned, a very feminine sound of pleasure. Tarnish’s cheeks began to burn and he heard more laughter around him. Desperate to have this embarrassment end, Tarnish decided to distract the sword with more conversation.
“Were you a pegasus?”
“I don’t know… hard to remember… everything is so hazy,” Flamingo replied. After a moment of rubbing, she moaned again and then gasped a few times. “Oh, you’re good at this.”
“You mentioned Princess Celestia… do you know her?” Tarnish asked.
“I… I… I don’t remember.” Flamingo flew out of Tarnish grip, a violent tremble along her length, then she darted back into her sheath, sliding in, and going silent.
“There’s a story there, waiting to be told,” Ortzi said to Tarnish as he picked up and stroked his recovering rabbit. He stroked the rabbit’s long ears and the rabbit’s nose wiggled.
Tarnish’s ears perked when he heard a faint, soft cough. He lifted his head from his book about plants and looked in the direction of Grey Owl. He watched as Gorgonzola scooped the foal up and held her close, peering down at the tiny foal crosseyed.
“Owly!”
“Mama?”
Tarnish could barely hear the foal’s voice. It was raspy and dry. He knew the feeling. He put a pot full of water on the stove so it could boil, thinking that oatmeal might be just the thing for a recovering foal.
“Mama, I no feel good.”
“I know, Owly. But you’re getting better… oh I’m so happy to hear your voice!”
“Firsty, Mama.”
Turning his head, Tarnish watched Gorgonzola lower Grey Owl and sit her down beside him. He understood; the foal was tiny, very very tiny compared to a dragon. He poured some water into a plastic cup, focused his magic just enough to make it somewhat chilled, and then lifted the green cup to the foal’s lips. He was aware that Gorgonzola’s head was inches away from his ears and he could feel her hot, steamy breath upon him.
The foal coughed and sputtered, but then kept trying to drink.
Beside him, Maud sat down in the sand, and he could feel her eyes upon him. Not knowing why, he became nervous, feeling as though his every movement, his every action was somehow being judged.
Blinking, the foal looked at Tarnish and then at Maud. “Who you?”
“Who are you,” Gorgonzola said in a soft voice, her sense of motherhood insisting on a bit of gentle correction.
“This is Tarnished Teapot. My name is Maud Pie. That nice griffon over there, he’s named Ortzi. How are you feeling?”
“Mouf full sand,” Grey Owl replied.
“Hungry?” Tarnish asked. He saw the foal nod her tiny head. Part of him was amazed that she had survived. Reaching out, nervous, he patted her on the back. He could feel his heart banging against his ribs, a painful, endless, uncomfortable thumping. Something about foals scared him something awful. He looked for Maud, hoping for an encouraging word, but, while Maud looked him in the eye, no helpful words were forthcoming.
“I’m going to feed you some oatmeal… does that sound good? With some fruit.”
“Fruit,” Grey Owl replied, licking her lips.
“I forage for her.” Gorgonzola’s hot breath caused Tarnish’s ears to twitch and flicker while she spoke. “I feed her fruits and vegetables that I find, and sometimes candy when I can trade for it.”
“Oatmeal is good, isn’t that right, Maud?” Tarnish looked at his wife with a hopeful expression.
“I like oatmeal,” Maud said as she looked down at the foal. “We’re both grey. Like rocks.”
“I find pretty rocks for Mommy.” Grey Owl’s wings fluttered. She sniffed herself and then stuck out her orange tongue. “Me stinky.”
“I’ll help you get a bath after breakfast,” Maud said, nudging the tiny pegasus with her hoof. “Would you like that?”
The foal nodded and then, stretching out her hind leg, she scratched behind her ear. Seeing this caused Tarnish to gasp, and he didn’t know why. He was seized with the sudden need to grab Maud and hold her close.
“Itchies.” Grey Owl scratched behind her ear some more and then shook her head.
The wet foal flapped her wings and gave herself a shake, dancing around in the shallow water, showing off for her mother and for Maud. Meanwhile, Tarnish watched as Ortzi packed up his few belongings.
“What about the rabbit?” Tarnish asked.
“He’s feeling better. I plan to release him in the woods at the top of the ridge. Not much for him to eat down here,” the griffon replied.
“I don’t understand… for you, the rabbit is food… why did you save him?” Tarnish’s brows furrowed and he studied the griffon, trying to read him.
“Why does a dragon rescue a pegasus foal?” Ortzi blinked, his beak clacking together.
Looking up at the dragon, Tarnish realised that he had no idea why a dragon would do such a thing, other than it felt good to do. He nodded as he reached this conclusion. He supposed it was a matter of personal choice. Why does an otherwise sane pony go charging into a cave full of pony eating spiders? Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do pink ponies pronk?
“Good luck and stay safe,” Tarnish said.
“You as well… you get into trouble, and you let that sword do the talking.”
“She’s afraid of blood.” Tarnish glanced at the sword sitting with his saddlebags.
“Whatever is threatening you doesn’t know that,” Ortzi replied. He pointed at the sword. “It’s a talking magical sword. That alone should keep you safe. There’s no need to go chopping stuff up. The world is full of enough death, danger, and despair. There is no good reason to add to it.”
Finding himself in agreement, Tarnish nodded. “Spiders don’t count though, because screw spiders.”
“Fair enough after what you went through.” Ortzi waved. “Goodbye.”
“Buhbye!” Grey Owl waved her wing.
“Safe travels,” Maud said.
“Good luck.” Gorgonzola waved her claws.
“I hope we’ll meet again… stop by the rock farm,” Tarnish said as Ortzi flapped his wings. Tilting his head back, Tarnish watched as Ortzi took off and flew away, the rabbit cradled in his forelegs.
As one adventure ended, another one began, such was the way of life.