//------------------------------// // Not the Title Match, But an Incredible Simulation // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// Multiple thuds resonated off the walls of the subterranean fort. Outside, every squirrel paused in mid-scurry. The cave's inhabitants peered curiously from their platforms and suspended wooden huts. CRASH! Rainbow Dash and Romulus came bursting out through a chunk of wooden planks. Wrestling in mid-air, their bodies barreled across the rocky cavern until they slammed against an array of wooden lattices. The structure's foundation groaned, then gave way. The top half of it teetered over precaiously. A family of squirrels chirped in fear and dove out of their wooden hut in the nick of time. THUDDD! Rodent residents went scampering in every direction, trying to outrun a debris cloud swarming their way. As the dust settled, the rubble shifted... stirred... and then—POW!—Romulus' body went sailing backwards out of the mess. "Gaaaaaiiie—!" He flew into a stalactite, cracking the rocky shard up its center. Grunting, he shook the cobwebs off and glared down at the debris below him. Rainbow Dash was already taking off, charging up at him with a hoof held back, ready to blow. "What in Celestia's name are you doing here, bird brain?!?" In one breath, Romulus deflected her ascent with a talon, spun around the stalactite, and snapped its sharp bottom-half off. Crack! "Killing you! Raaaaugh!" He dove at her, swish-swish-swishing the chunk of stone between them like a club. Rainbow flew backwards, tossing her head left and right to avoid the blows. At one point, Romulus lunged too far and she grabbed his arms with her forelimbs. "Hkkk!" She headbutted his skull, flipped backwards, then knocked the stalactite piece out of his grip with a reverse bicycle kick. The stone shard flew up—Ping!—deflected off the ceiling—swisssssh!—and flew towards the cavern floor at a violent angle. Through the fresh hole in the fort's wall, Sunset Shimmer emerged, charging her horn. "Don't worry, Romulus!" She gnashed her teeth while aiming up at the midair battle. "Just say the word and I'll zap all her feathers off—" WHAM! The shard slammed into her body, sailing her back into the throne room. "Ooof!" Several squirrels scampered out, waving their paws and tails. "Nyet! Nyet!" "Morselanders! Stop eet!" "You vill brring eentire cave down!" "She started it!" Romulus growled, wrestling with the mare. "Her and her nosy, shard-stealing self-righteousness!" She slammed her up against a wall. "Ooomf!" Rainbow winced, struggling against him. "I started it?! You're the one bombing Noir's headquarters and trying to slit the throat of everything in sight! Raaaaugh!" Rainbow shoved hard, flapping her wings and flying the two of them through row after row of wooden squirrel huts on pedestals. Sm-Sm-Smasssh! The residents below barked and chattered, running for cover. In the end, Romulus grabbed her tail and flung her hard against a horizontal wooden beam. Thwump! "So you are in league with the Lunar Code!" Romulus' one eye glinted. Schiiing! He produced a dagger and stabbed at her flank. "I'll be sure to feed you to them—!" CLANK! Lancie stuck out of her saddlebag at the last second, blocking his blade with two granite forelimbs. "Hi! Mind if I change the menu?" "What the—?!" Romulus leaned back. "The shard—!" WHAM! Rainbow's hoof slammed up into the griffon's crotched. "Grnnngh!" She twirled like a gymnast from the bar, planted her hooves against it, then propelled herself towards his writhing figure. The assassin recovered with surprising ease, whipping out another dagger. Sch-schiiing! "Sparky, he's not here to spread butter—Whoah!" Lancie gasped as Rainbow gripped him in the crook of her hoof. Clank! Cl-Clank! Clang! The two swordfought in the air, with Romulus flinging his dagger and Rainbow Dash utilizing Lancie. "All this time... you've been a mere puppet of chaos..." Romulus snarled, nevertheless backing up from Rainbow's swashbuckling advances. "...did you ever truly... truly think you were in control of this power?" "I'm willing to wing it, so long as I know I'm using the power for good!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "Hey... uh..." Lancie winced and jolted, smiling awkwardly as sparks flew off his pounded body. "I know this might be a bad time and all, but—" Clank! Cl-Clang! "—anyone remember the name of that one blond actor dude in the Alicorn Bride? I'm suffering the biggest brain fart for some reason—" "You'll suffer even worse!" Romulus whipped out a second dagger and pressed them both forward. CLACK! Lancie went flying loose from Rainbow's grip. "Lancie—!" Rainbow gasped. "Don't mind me, Sparky!" Lancie plunged towards the fort below. "Stay on target!" In the structure's doorframe, Sunset stood up once more, groaning dizzily. "Unnngh... Romulus... did... urp... did you eviscerate her yet—?" WHAMMMM! Lancie plowed into her skull, knocking her unconscious. "Whoah there! Really like your mane!" Meanwhile— "Haaaaugh!" Romulus dove forward with both blades. Rainbow caught his talons with her fetlocks and pulled down. The two were forced muzzle to beak as they wrestled for midair dominance. "Rnnnghhh..." "Grnkkk-kk!" "Those... shards... are mine!" Romulus hissed. "You... can't... have them!" Rainbow snarled back. A shrill whistle. Both combatants looked down. "Zdravstvujtye, comrades," Brucie said. He happened to be holding a large black rifle about three times the size of his own body. Electrical energy bolts flickered out of the weapon's barrels. "Perhaps noteece dees K-3000 Hyperpowered Electreecal Boomsteek. Dere are many like eet, but dis vone ees Brucie's." He then took aim and fired. Bzzzzttt! A bolt of mana-powered lightning flew up and impacted Romulus' figure. Every feather of the griffon stood on end. After a muffled groan, the assassin fell—unconscious—to the cave's floor below. Thud! "Euuugh..." Flying by herself, Rainbow exhaled with relief. "Whew! Good shot, there, Theodore!" He smiled down at Brucie. "For a second there, I almost thought he had skinned my—" Bzzzzzttt! Rainbow's hair stuck out as she wriggled from a second electrical blast. "Phweeeeeee..." She fell and landed in a sparkling heap besides Romulus. Whud! "Hmmmff..." Brucie blew the smoke out of his weapon's barrels. "Have fight een Brucie's Mozer's house? Not eef Brucie haz anysing say 'bout eet!" He spat on the floor. "Nyet!"