“I’m home!” I called as I popped through the door finally. Earth pony locks and keys weren’t nearly as efficient as unicorn magilocks. First you had to levitate the key out of your bag and then slot it into the hole, and turn it. Now a good magilock, you just had to know the right spell and ta-da, the door opens!
“In here,” Soarin replied from the living room.
Alright, Azurite, it is show time. Razzle him, dazzle him, and lie to him without it being super obvious that you’re up to something.
He was stretched out on the couch and looked over at me when I came into the living room. “Did you have fun? Your kite looks fine so it must have stayed away from the tree this time.”
“Oh, he tried. Believe me he tried.” I set kite Mr. Peepers down near the door and levitated my saddle bags down too. “I think he is a treeaphile. They’re like forbidden fruit or something. How are you?”
“Lazy and loving it.”
I went over to him, slipped onto the couch, and looped my hooves around his neck. “Did you do anything today?”
“No, I did not. Do you know how often I get to say that?”
“Never?”
He nodded. “Never.”
“Well, that is good then.” Okay here we go. What would Mirror Azurite do? “So remember how we didn’t get to eat at that restaurant in Ponyville?”
Soarin nodded and lightly tipped me onto my back beside him.
That muddled my thinking and my cheeks felt hot. I really liked when he did that. He or Sunny actually. I rested there and had all kinds of adult pony thoughts while idly hoofing at him.
Soarin looked at me and grinned. “Yes…”
Mmm, yes indeed. Wait, what was I doing again? Oh right, lying! “I want to go. I was thinking of heading over there Wednesday. Maybe after practice you could show up, too?”
The stallion nodded and slinked over me, rubbing his cheek against my chest. “I can do that.”
My hooves found the back of his neck and started rubbing there. “Good… good...” I bubbled.
“Mmhmm,” he replied before his head popped up for smooches. “I’m not really thinking about Wednesday right now. I’m thinking about how fast you can get Pink Pony into the guest bedroom and back into the master.”
My eyes fixed on his and I whispered, “Really fast.”
He smiled and nuzzled me. “Then get to it!”
♦♦♦
After a highly successful night of semi-lying to Soarin, it was time to work on Phase Two of my devious plan. It wasn’t really that devious but Sandy, the girls, and I had pretended it was to add an element of danger. Mares need an element of danger! It’s exciting.
I finished up delivering all of the internal mail before putting on an even face and trotting into Sunny’s office.
“Mail is here,” I said, trying not to sound too chipper as I floated two missives over to her.
Sunny looked up from her desk and accepted them in her magic. “Thank you, Azu. How’re things?”
“Still weird but otherwise well. How’re you?” I asked.
She softly shrugged. “The condo is feeling empty. Mr. Peepers said he wasn’t feeling it.”
I snorted. “Mr. Peepers doesn’t talk like that. He’d have said something like, ‘Oh my! This won’t do a-tall.’”
The golden mare snarked, her lips curling into a grin. “I know it probably isn’t healthy but one day I hope to fully understand what goes on in your head.”
I shook my head and replied, “Nope, there are enough voices up there already. I don’t need yours, too. Have any plans for Wednesday yet?”
Sunny’s brow arched. “No? What’s Wednesday?”
“Well, I was going to head into Ponyville and eat at this cool restaurant called Haut-Savoir. It is only the best place in town. I think you should be there, too.”
“Why Wednesday and why Ponyville?” Sunny asked.
“What part of best place in town doesn’t explain that! It is really nice. Please, Sunny? I know it is out of your way but please? I want to get out into the country and do a little something different!”
Sunny looked down at me and asked, “What about Soarin?”
“He knows about dinner. He was okay with the idea.” Oh clever Azurite. The perfect non-lie!
“Okay, okay. I’ll be there. I really am sorry, Azu, but I have to cut this short. The princess and I have a meeting here in a few minutes.”
Quickly I nodded. “Yeah, it’s okay. Go do your guard thing! I best get out of here before she shows up or I won’t be able to move.”
Sunny nodded, lightly set a hoof on mine, and then shooed me away teasingly.
I headed back down to my office, reached the intersection, turned the corner and found Lieutenant Brook standing outside my door.
“Warrant Officer Azurite,” he said, his voice very formal. That was never good. The lieutenant only used my rank when I was in trouble.
I made a quick check of my uniform. My helmet was on, my armor looked good, and I seemed to be appropriately dressed. It couldn’t be that. I closed the rest of the distance between us, stood at attention, and replied, “Yes, sir.”
“Warrant Officer Azurite,” he repeated.
“Yes, sir?”
He smiled. “It sounds alright, but Senior Warrant Officer Azurite sounds better. Don’t you think?”
“Sir?”
The lieutenant produced a parchment from his bag. “Promotion list, Azurite. Your name is on it. As long as you don’t do anything insane for the next two months you’re set. Congratulations!”
I gasped when I saw my name on the sheet. I never really got a lot of promotions as a regular guard. In fact I’d never even made guard 1st class when I was enlisted. “Thank you, sir!” I squealed.
He chuckled and nodded. “Good work. Now remember, the list comes out way in advance. You’re selected but you still have to keep it together.”
“Of course, sir. I’ll work twice as hard!”
“I know you will,” he replied before patting me on the back. “Good job. See you later!”
I was still clutching the list. “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir! Thank you!”
♦♦♦
Sundridge Sweets was pretty much the best place ever. It came equipped with cool drinks, sugary treats, and wisdom.
It was after work and I was sitting back in the kitchen while Sunbeam and Pepper Ridge worked on a massive order of cupcakes.
“It was lucky you stopped by, Azurite. Velvet was supposed to be here to watch Red while we got this order together. I have no idea where she could be,” Sunbeam said.
Red Velvet was Velvet Step’s much younger little brother. He was dark red with a cream-colored mane and tail and all adorable. The foal was sitting in my lap, looking up at me, and giggling. I’m not sure at what but I didn’t mind. As long as he didn’t mind me tickling his tummy!
“Hmm? Oh I’m glad I could help. I’m sure she’ll be along soon. Until then you’re all mine!” I said down to the foal between tickles. “Yes you are!”
Sunbeam laughed and just shook her head. “You’re good with foals. Do you have younger siblings?”
Carefully I sat Red up and leaned him back against me. Looping both hooves around him, I replied, “Oh, not me. I’m an only child. Just me and my parents. Still, I think foals are super cute!”
“Mmhm, everypony says that until it is changing time,” Pepper Ridge put in teasingly.
From out front the little bells on the door chimed.
Velvet called, “Mom, I’m here! Sorry I’m late, they wouldn’t let us go from practice. The new choreographer is a real—” She blinked as she came into the back. “Azurite!”
Sunbeam asked, “Cute and tiny?”
Pepper Ridge put in, “Willing to do your work for you?”
“Hi!” I chimed, waving Red’s super adorable teeny tiny little hoof.
“I was going to say pony’s rump. Hey, Azurite. I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How’re things?”
“So far so good. I tricked Sunny and Soarin into meeting for dinner so now I’m hiding out so I don’t accidentally spill the beans before Wednesday. I’m not a great liar.” I bounced the foal a bit.
Velvet nodded as she came over, “Well… that is a start.” She held out her hooves.
“Aww…” I nuzzled Red’s mane. He smelled like new foal. They had a particular smell and I loved it but I gave him to her.
The foal giggled more and nestled in against his sister. She asked, “You’re not hiding out here until Wednesday are you?”
“Nope! Just until it is close to dinner time. I’ll stuff food in my mouth to keep me quiet.”
Sunbeam looked over her shoulder and said, “You stay as long as you like, sweetie. Velvet is just cranky. Maybe we should put her down for a nap when we do the same for Red.”
“Mom! You do recall that Azurite and I were going to fight before, right? Aren’t you like… giving aid to the enemy?”
“Oh hush, sweetie, you went on a date with her marefriend. Besides, look at her! She isn’t the type to do harm.”
Velvet looked at me. I smiled up at her.
She sighed. “Ugh, why do you have to be cute, too?”
“Soarin says I’m fun sized.”
Velvet’s ears shot up before she started laughing. Red laughed too but I’m pretty confident he didn’t get it. “Okay… so clearly staying semi-angry at you isn’t going to work.”
“Yay?” I replied.
Sunbeam came over and kissed Velvet on the cheek and Red on the mane. “Okay sugarlumps, we’re going to deliver the order. Mind the store and be sure Red gets fed and has his nap. Oh, and be nice to Azurite!”
“Alright, alright. See you later tonight,” Velvet said.
Once the pair was gone she looked over at me. The silence was a bit awkward. We’d never been alone together.
“So you’re a royal guard like Silent Knight?” she asked.
I shook my head. “Oh no. I don’t think anypony is a royal guard like Silent Knight. I’m a warrant officer which is a specialist. Most of my work is doing files for ponies. Retirement, medical, and that sort of thing.”
Velvet snorted and grinned a bit. “Well, at least you get Silent Knight. Do you know how long it took for him and my friend Crystal Wishes to get together?”
“I don’t. I don’t know him as well as Sunny.”
The pink mare came and sat at the table with me, holding Red in her lap. “Well, you’ve got time to kill and I think you’ll enjoy this. It took about a year and is quite a story. It might even give you perspective on your situation.”
“Sure! I’m all ears.”
♦♦♦
Wednesday. It had been tough playing it cool around Soarin and Sunny for two days straight. Thankfully, Silent Knight’s little project had kept me fully occupied.
His list of ponies was… different. These weren’t your usual royal guards. Not all of them were even royal guards! I wasn’t supposed to read the files, just handle making them go back cleanly into the archive, but I couldn’t help it.
These were the ones that had been in situations where things had gone sour. Ponies like Sandy and I. Unlike us, however, they’d handled the outcomes very differently. Most seemed to have gotten harder. Either that or they had some other kind of skill. They were also all pegasi.
I put the current file into the out bin. The pony that it belonged to had run into some gryphon bandits out west all on her own. Things got ugly and she still bested them both. That certainly qualified as hard.
Mr. Clockerson peered down at the pile. “Tick, Tiiick, Tick?”
“Yes I think he wants this kind of pony! The rough and tumble kind.”
“Tick, tiiiick, tick tick, ticky, tock.”
My head shook. “No, I don’t think he wants a clock. Besides, what would Mrs. Clockerson say if you told her you wanted to do field work?”
“TICK!”
“Exactly. So you just get back to your job and I’ll get back to mine.”
“Tick, tick, tick.”
I looked up at him. His pointers were on the five and twelve. “Oh! Yeah I’d best get going. Thanks!”
It only took a few moments to get out of my armor and lock my office door. Then I hurried off to the train station. I had an early dinner date in Ponyville!
♦♦♦
“Hello, my name is High Horse and I’ll be your server tonight,” High Horse said to me. She was the same server from my first date here. I remembered her because she was blue, kind of like me, and that date had been amazing.
“Great, thank you. Just a water for now,” I said from under a giant, white floppy hat.
High Horse nodded. “Certainly. Are you waiting for somepony?”
“Someponies! Yes.”
“Alright, I’ll come check on you later then.”
“Yes, thank you, bye bye,” I replied, looking around the area. Okay, showtime Azurite! Our first guest is arriving.
Sunny was approaching from down the street. Quickly I lifted my menu up and peeked through the area between the top of it and the brim of my hat.
She found a seat at a nearby table and started looking around. My disguise was flawless. My menu and hat combination was seemingly sufficient to keep me hidden since Sunny looked right at me and then on to the next table.
High Horse went over to Sunny. “Good evening. My name is High Horse and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I start you off with a drink?”
“Yes… I’m meeting somepony. She’s a little blue unicorn mare.”
“Oh, I thi—”
I knocked over the vase on my table, spilling water and flowers everywhere, while squealing “Oh my!” in my best elderly mare voice.
“Excuse me,” High Horse said, hurrying over to me. “Let me help you, ma’am.”
“She isn’t here for me. That isn’t the pony I’m looking for,” I whispered.
High Horse looked at me like I was crazy. “Okay… sure. Sure.” She cleaned up the spill and left me be.
Good work, Azurite. You saved the day. Now the stage is set! We just need our heroic stallion to swoop in.
As if on cue Soarin landed out in front of the restaurant and looked around. His eyes flicked past me and then onto his actual date.
“Sunny?” he asked in surprise.
Sunny looked surprised for a moment and then softly hoofed her face. “Yes. Let me guess, Azurite invited you to dinner?”
Soarin looked around again before nodding. “Yes.”
“She’s been pushing for me to have a talk with you. I guess she is determined.”
“You don’t want to talk to me?” Soarin asked, not fully coming over to the table.
Sunny winced and quickly shook her head. “No, I do! I just wanted to wait for the right time. Look… Azurite set all this up, somehow managed to fool us both, and kept the secret for two days. That had to have been a huge feat for her.”
“Hey…” I said over my menu but immediately raised my voice to the high elderly mare. “Hey,” I repeated, waving at a random pony going by. She looked at me and awkwardly waved back before hurrying off.
Every other pony was looking at me. I ducked back behind the menu and let the brim of my hat rest on it.
“At least come over and have a conversation with me,” Sunny continued.
I peeked again and the stallion seemed to be uncertain about doing that. He remained where he was so long it took all of my self discipline not to shout at him. Finally he came over and sat down. “Okay.”
“So you’re totally spying on them,” High Horse whispered in my ear.
I squealed in surprise and jumped. Everypony at the restaurant looked my way yet again and I dived under the table. “My napkin!” I shouted in my elderly voice. My hoof found High Horse’s and I tugged her down with me. “Shhhh! You’ll blow my cover!” I hissed.
“Uh huh, weren’t you with that Wonderbolt before?” she asked.
“Yes! We’re all friends and they’ve been fighting. I tricked them into meeting up so they’d have to talk it out. So please don’t call any more attention to me… and bring me some of those little cookies, please. I like those.”
High Horse giggled and replied, “I don’t believe I’m the one calling the attention to you but yes, ma’am. Cookies are coming right up.”
After straightening my big hat I peeked over the edge of the table. Soarin and Sunny were sitting together and talking. They were leaning in close and speaking in hushed tones which meant I couldn’t hear them. At least it looked like a civil conversation.
“Your cookies, madam,” High Horse said, surprising me again.
I squeaked, “Thank you!” and lifted the menu up and over my face once more.
“Do you want me to go listen in on their conversation?” High Horse asked.
“What? No! That would be rude.”
She nodded and replied, “It would be, but aren’t you spying on them?”
I sputtered, “No! Well, yes but I’m their friend and they weren’t whispering before. Now they’re trying not to be heard. It’s different, right?”
High Horse shrugged and smiled. “Fair enough.” She turned to go and I grabbed her hoof.
“If you happen to hear something though, I would appreciate a head’s up,” I mumbled behind the menu.
“Of course.”
It was agonizing to sit there and be out of the loop. All I had to keep me company was my glass of water and the delicious, wafer-like cookies. They weren’t much of a dinner but I’m an adult pony. I can eat cookies for dinner if I like!
Every so often I would peek at Sunny and Soarin, they were so engrossed in their conversation they didn’t notice. It gave me hope that they were working things out.
High Horse wandered back to my table with a basket of rolls. “They’re discussing a pony named Azurite. Is that you?”
“Good discussing or bad discussing?” I asked without answering.
“Well, I heard the words ‘she deserves’ and other things like that. So I’m guessing positive? Would you like anything besides rolls and cookies?”
I shook my head, “No, thank you. I should actually pay and get home before they leave. Thank you.”
High Horse smiled and nodded. “You’re welcome.”
After paying my tab, tipping heavily, and hurrying to the train station I settled down. Sunny and Soarin were talking. I’d gotten away without notice. Mission successful! They had grossly underestimated Azurite!
By the time I’d gotten back to the Wonderbolt Campus I was feeling pretty smug. With my head held high I pranced to the dorms. I wanted to be home before Soarin so that he wouldn’t know I’d been at the restaurant too, but I wasn’t going to gallop there like I was trying to be home before him. You know, in case he was already home. Nope, cool, casual Azurite right here!
Besides, it was likely that I was already in trouble for having lied. My lie had been for a good cause though!
When I reached our door I levitated the keys out of my saddlebag and started to work the earth pony lock. The stupid thing always gave me fits and I was fumbling with it when I heard hooves approaching from down the hall.
“Azurite, what a nice surprise to see you here,” came Spitfire’s voice from over my shoulder.
I frozen up for a moment and then looked her way. “Oh! Hello there captain. I’m… I’m… uh… here.”
She laughed. “I can see that. Are you and Soarin having a sleepover?”
Heat flushed over my face and I nodded. “Yes.”
“Alright, well don’t keep him up too late. We have practice tomorrow,” she replied.
“Yes, ma’am! Thank you, ma’am,” I said before ducking into the dorm room and hiding my face in my hooves. “So embarrassing, Azurite!”