//------------------------------// // Chapter Three: Part Seven // Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// Chapter Three: Part Seven The stars. So far, yet so close. She could almost each out and touch them. They danced and bounced and bobbed up and down. She watched as they moved all about her, some moving with ease and with nary a care in the universe. Others flew past her with great speed, occasionally crashing into, and then briefly melding with, other stars. She reached a hoof to try and touch one, but it eluded her grasp. She turned her head, and saw her mane dragging slowly behind. It was so pretty like this, floating about. It reminded her of being in water. It was also longer then normal. It flowed through the emptiness of space, almost shimmering. The more she looked at it, the longer and longer it seemed to grow, until it was almost as though it became a great highway, or even a river, of teal and white extending into the never-ending cosmos. Her tail too was long and elegant. It was so pretty. She could see stars now flying through her hair, leaving small sparkles in their wake. She had no idea what was going on, but she liked it. Everything around her seemed peaceful, quiet, and so very beautiful. She had no control over her drift, she just simply floated about, looking this way and that. She looked up at her horn, and saw that it too had changed. It had elongated, and narrowed, reminding her much of Princess Celestia's horn. She looked down at her coat. It had become somewhat translucent, and it too had small motes of light here and there, almost like little stars that shined from her body. You know, if she had changed this much… She looked at her back, and, sadly, there were no wings. Oh well, at least she was a pretty star pony. She had that much going for her. She idly wondered if Princess Luna looked like this from time to time. What she should have been doing was wondering why it was she was in space to begin with, to say nothing of her magical growing hair and her starry skin. Or, you know, the bit about there being no air to breath in space. But those were small details. Trivial really. Still, she was mildly curious as to what was going on. After all, it's not every day one becomes one with the stars. Well, for Lyra it isn't anyway. For her, this kind of thing only happens once in a blue moon. Mostly because when the moon becomes blue, her magic tends to get rather funky, and her dreams that night get really quite strange. A lot of them do get kinda spacy, like this, but never so coherent, nor pleasant. Plus, she was pretty sure she was still awake. So, when she wasn't memorized by all of the pretty, pretty stars, she was curious as to what was happening (which didn't happen much, as the stars were very distracting). Which is partly why she didn't hear Luna's voice at first. “Huh…?” she slowly turned her head as her mind slowly processed that something had been said. “...feel ready?” a distant, yet authoritative voice said. It sounded somewhat familiar. “Do, I … what?” Lyra asked, rather slowly. It seemed that everything she did felt oddly numbed. The odd sensation slowed everything down for her. So it took her easily twice as long, if not three times as long, for her to do anything that would be easy for anypony else to do. Even thinking felt slow. “Do. You. Feel. Ready?” the voice said, carefully saying each word, and pausing slightly between them. Once the words had sunk in, Lyra finally replied, “I feel pretty. Does that count?” she tried to smile, but was unsure if her mouth moved or not. “It is a step. Do you feel ready to perform your next task?” the voice asked again. Arrgg! Who's voice was it?! Ugh! Her name was right there on the tip of Lyra's tongue. “Uh, sure? Who are you?” it took her forever to say. “It is I, Princess Luna.” her voice said, clear as a bell. “Princess Luna?” Lyra's rather thick mind was not quite ready to react to the sudden presence of royalty. Thus, when the Princess appeared before her, she simply stared at her with something akin to a vacant stare. Princess Luna raised an eyebrow. “Thou dost not bow before thy Princess? We are intrigued by this, but it matters little. Are you ready?” she asked, her face cool and calm. It was about this time the reaction to bow was roughly half-formed, and thus Lyra's head began to slowly sink, as her eyes slowly looked down as well. “Your Highness...” she said, her thoughts coming to her at a snail's pace. “I'm ready for anything you command. What do you want me do?” she asked. Princess Luna's face remained mostly unchanged, though Lyra got the feeling that she was pleased by that answer (or, at least, she sure hoped she was). “We had hoped that you would already know that answer, but seeing that you do not know, We shall tell you. First, We must tell you that you are not asleep.” She paused for several moments after that. Good thing too, 'cause it took FOREVER for what she said to sink into Lyra's head. “Oh...” she said some what stupidly, “Then how…?” “Nor are you fully awake.” she said as though she had been anticipating the question. “We do not know exactly why it is We can speak with you, but We saw it as a perfect chance to offer Our assistance. Do you remember the Queen of the Spiders?” she asked, her gaze and expression ever unchanging. “Her?” Yeah, I do. She was kinda nice. Why?” Lyra inquired (after several moments of slow brain reactions). “My sister and I believe it is she that possesses that which you seek.” Princess Luna began walking in a slow circle around Lyra, who, despite her rather … sluggish … attempts to change her free floating position, was unable to right herself. “My present for Bon-Bon?” Lyra asked, half-serious. It had been Bon-Bon's birthday (well, not her REAL birthday [then again, that Bon-Bon was long gone, so that date doesn't really matter anymore], but that was beside the point) a few days ago, and Lyra had forgotten it entirely. So, in an attempt to apologize, she had gotten her a rather lovely gift (expensive too), that Lyra had promptly misplaced. In fact, it never even made it back to home. Colt was she surprised when she had opened that sack and found it empty! (Spoilers: the sack had a small hole in it that the gift fell through, that was then found by a kind pegasus who had promptly picked it up and had taken it to Lyra's home … if said home had been on the other side of Ponyville, which it was not.) Princess Luna stopped walking for a moment and simply stared at her. Though said stare was no different than her normal expression. After a moment or two, she resumed walking once more. “Our old toothbrush.” she said simply. “OH! The Legendary Lost Toothbrush of the Royal Sisters! (Now with 3 easy payments of 9.99 bits, plus shipping and handling)” Lyra softly exclaimed. Lyra caught Princess Luna rolling her eyes just as she walked behind her, causing Lyra to lose sight of the Princess. “Yes, the very same. Though why ponies call it that neither We, nor Our sister, will ever understand. But that is not the point. The point is that Colgate must reach the Toothbrush. It is of the utmost importance that she does, and that she does alone.” “Wait, alone? Why? What's going on?” Lyra asked, feeling rather confused all of a sudden. “Our sister tells Us that you are trustworthy, and so We shall tell you what We know.” she took a breath. “We do not saying more then is necessary, so We shall be brief. Long ago, before I was banished, before Discord came to our realm, My sister and I were approached by a unicorn who asked of us to hear what they had to say.” While Lyra's brain was all kinds of funky and slow moving, she was far from stupid. “Was it Star Swirl?” she asked, eventually. She saw the Princess nod as she walked once more into her view. “Correct. Although, it would be more accurate to say that it was,” she paused for a moment, hesitating both in word and step, before she continued, “That is was Colgate.” ***** “So, allow me to understand what you are saying. First, you wandered into this swamp alone, correct?” the Hydra asked. Doc (as the Hydra had taken to calling him) nodded. The Hydra laughed softly to itself. “Right. Then you say you drank the water?” “I was terribly thirsty you see.” Doc shrugged. “My dear boy, I do hate to say this, but that was rather foolish.” the Hydra shook its third head (for that was the one that was talking, as the other three were were, in order, looking off to the side rather bored, staring at Time Turner hungrily, and last but not least, falling asleep). “Oh. Was it?” Doc asked, cocking his head to the side curiously as he looked up at the large beast. You know, it wasn't bad. In fact, it was a rather cordial fellow. After a brief introduction in the which it introduced itself as Head Number Three (or Two, depending on how you wanted to look at it), it had produced two lovely cups of tea, and a nice sitting cushion for Doc to sit on. It nodded its head. “Indeed it was old boy. But we'll get to that in a moment. So, after that, you say you followed the lanterns, then some 'Fungee Ponees', ate some mud, then ended up here at my doorstep. Do I follow correctly?” Doc tapped his chin with a hoof in thought. “Ummm, sounds about right, I think.” The Hydra let out a bemused snort. “Charming. You remember that much, yet you have no recollection of who you are, where you came from, or where you are going. Or, for that matter, why you even came here in the first place.” “It's simply the strangest thing, isn't it?” he said with a smile on his face. The Hydra laughed. “Well, at least you're a good sport about it all! I can't say I've seen too many ponies who've been in your situation and found it amusing.” “Really? Does this happen often?” Doc asked, suddenly curious as to what may have become of them. The Hydra shook its head. “No, not that often. Most of the time Ponies either come into the swamp prepared and knowing better then to eat and drink the floor, or they run screaming from my approach.” Doc raised an eyebrow. “Really? Why is that? I can't see for the life of me why they would. You seem like such a nice, uh, guy? Lady? Hydra?” he asked. The Hydra smiled. “Guy. That is, I am male. The heads next to me are both female, and the last is male as well.” “REALLY?” Doc said excitedly. “Simply fascinating! How does that work?” he asked, looking at each of the heads in turn. “With lots of bickering.” the Hydra sighed. “Trouble with the old siblings, eh?” Doc smiled, taking a sip of tea. He smiled. “Well, when you can't ever walk away from them, they do get kind of, well...” he looked to both sides of himself, “old. I'd ask if you have any siblings, but I'd offer a wager that you wouldn't know.” “And I's wager that you're correct.” Doc nodded, his mind drawing a complete blank. “Well, on the bright side, there is a good thing that has come of you eating that mud. If you hadn't then we wouldn't be able to talk to each other right now.” he nodded. “Wait, what?” Doc looked at him perplexed. “Well you see ol' chap, this swamp's enchanted. The various microbes and other such things that live in the mud aside,” he then leaned in close, “all of which, by the way, contain hallucinogenic properties,” he then leaned back, and took a sip from his cup, “any pony, note I said 'pony', who drinks of it also undergoes a few small changes. One of which is the transfer of understating one species to another. That is, but drinking the mud, you gained the ability to understand my words.” “But I can't talk to other ponies?” Doc ventured. He nodded. “I like you, sharp as a tack. Yes, if you were to try and talk to other ponies right now, they would think you mad or perhaps bewitched. Which,” he chuckled, “isn't entirely wrong. But that's not the point. You also became, at least temporarily, one of the denizens of the swamp.” “So, for all intents and purposes, I'm a swamp creature?” Doc asked, one part curious, one part mildly thrilled. “Indeed! That's why my dear sister here didn't eat you on sight! And why I was able to tell that you were in trouble. You see, to my eyes, ponies look like tasty snacks. Though I am civilized enough to refrain from doing such barbaric things. My siblings however...” he glanced left and right, “are much less so. Made going through medical school rather, awkward, as you could imagine.” “Medical School?!” Doc exclaimed. Then paused. “Uh, what's that?” he asked. He laughed. “Right! I forgot. Well, long story short, it's a place where one goes to learn how to become a doctor, or, if you will, a professional who helps creatures heal up and feel better.” “Oh! So is that what a doctor does? Doe that mean I'm a pony who makes others feel better?” Doc asked, looking to the sky in thought. “Most of the time. Though sometimes 'doctor' is more of a title then a profession. That might be the case for you. But I do declare that we digress. I am a medical professional, and you clearly are in need of some medical attention.” he sat up, and began looking at Time closely. He stretched his neck to the sides of Time, as well as behind him. “Where was this place you went to?” Doc asked as he was being examined. “Does the name 'Canterlot' ring a bell?” he asked as he asked Doc to raise one of his legs so he could look at it. “No, I can't say it does.” he shook his head, raising another leg for examination. “Pity really. Lovely place. It is, after all, where your Princesses reside.” he commented as Doc opened wide to allow the Hydra to look into his mouth. “So, I take it it's a place full of ponies? And you lived there?” Doc asked the Hydra leaned back with a thoughtful look on his face (he was pretty sure that if the Hydra had a hoof, he would have tapped his chin with it.) “Yes … quite so.” he said, somewhat distracted as he looked at Doc intensely. “So, if it was full of ponies, and your siblings look at ponies like food, how did you manage?” “It was rather simple actually.” he answered. “Sit tight for a moment, I need to grab a tonic. I shan’t be long.” he then turned around, and thundered off into the trees. A moment later Doc could hear the sounds of the Hydra talking to himself as it began saying what sounded like various names that were overly complicated to say. What a curious creature it was indeed. Then again, he found everything around him most curious. He simply looked around with wide-eyed wonder. The whole world it seemed was fascinating and simply fantastic to behold. His head suddenly snapped back to the trees as he heard crashing sounds once more. The Hydra lumbered in, a small sack hanging from his mouth. He lowered his head, and placed the sack on a dry patch of ground near Doc. “What's in there?” he asked, pointing a hoof at it. “It's three different concoctions I've made. You see, to answer your question from earlier, I ate the mud. Or, rather, I made mud from Equestrian soil, then ate it. You see, since I'm native from here, the mud does not have quite the same effect on me. However, thankfully, Equestian mud does. It even has the added effect of being a mild sedative to my siblings. Well, to be more accurate, it made them feel not as hungry, and made it so that ponies didn't look like food. As for me, it allowed me to communicate with my professors and fellow students. Though it did have the side effect of increased appetite...” he chuckled. “I'll admit, I got a little chubby while I was attending school. As for what is in the bag: since I've come home from my studies, I've done quite a bit of work with the mud and the flora and fauna around here. And so, I've distilled three different solutions for you. One, will allow the effects of the water to be cured. By the way, NEVER drink the water. There is simply nothing good that comes of it. Another is extract of Equestian soil, which should restore you back to normal. Though, personally, I would recommend waiting until you leave the swamp before you drink any of it. The last is Hayseed soil extract, which will do exactly what the mud did, without the memory lost bit. I suspect that happened because you drank the water.” the Hydra said, slowly and carefully to ensure that Doc understood him. “Now then, about payment.” “Payment?” Doc's head tiled to the side once more. Payment? What was- “Oh by Celestia's sun! You don't even know what payment is?” if he had arms, Doc was pretty sure he would have thrown them up into the air. “Is it bad?” Doc asked, his ears falling back as he could feel tension building in the air. “Oh no no no. Well, not for me anyway. It's quite good. For you, it might be. After all, I can't just offer my tonics and my services for free, now can I?” He shook his head, then looked down at him with a grin. “Uhhh … you can't?” Doc nervously sat up and began backing away. “I'm afraid not, my dear boy. Now then, what can you give me for compensation for both goods and services rendered?” he grinned all the more and took a few steps toward him. “I, uh, don't have anything...” he said weakly. “A real pity...” the Hydra said, grinning with his rather long and sharp teeth (which, surprisingly enough, were rather white and well cared for). “P-please don't eat me...” he said as he felt sweat beginning to run down his face. The other heads turned and looked at him, their faces now full of hunger as he licked his teeth, “Come cone now, old boy…. What kind of doctor eats his patients?” ***** “Say what?” Lyra wasn't sure she heard that right. “Did you not understand what We said?” Luna paused and turned her head to look at her once more. Lyra shook her head. “No, I got ya, but that doesn't make any sense. That would mean-” “That Colgate is well over a thousand years old.” Luna finished matter-of-factually as she began walking once more. “This is not completely true, nor is it completely false. She is...” Luna paused again, this time stopping entirely. Then she shook her head. “I am sorry Lyra Heartstrings. My sister may have complete trust in you, but I fear that We do not. Do not feel that this is your fault. We are … slow … to trust. It took much time for me to trust my sister again...” Luna said, her voice softer, and a bit sad. Even her expression had softened a little. Then she straightened up, and her face was back to the expressionless gaze that it had been so far. “But that is not important. What is that Colgate needs to get to that toothbrush, and you must now see to it that no other ponies, or any other creature, joins your little band, unless it is a decision that she has made. Do you understand?” Lyra nodded. “Good. Now then, the Spider Queen is resting at this time, and I have used what powers I have to make you presentable to her. Your task, Lyra Heartstrings, is to speak with her in her dreams, and convince her to give Colgate, or at least allow Colgate to get, the toothbrush. Can We trust you in this task?” Luna asked, looking directly into her eyes. Lyra slowly saluted. “Yes your highness. I, uh, just need a little more time to get rea-” She never did quite finish that sentence, for in a flash of light that had erupted from the Princess's horn, Lyra had found herself in a very different place. She found herself in a large chamber, covered head-to-hoof in spiders, and their young. There were millions of them. She couldn't even see any walls or a ceiling, or even a floor there were so many spiders covering them (though the fact that she was hovering slightly above the ground she found made that point moot). She looked around. She saw that she was dressed as though she was attending the Gala, though all of her attire looked as though Princess Luna herself had made it from the night sky, using Lyra's colors. Besides that, she saw that all of the spiders looked simply adorable! Not only that, they made the cutest chittering noises as they moved all about. She looked straight ahead. There, in the center of it all, on a humble throne, sat a beautiful pony. She was dressed in a lovely gown, and, contrary to what Lyra had expected, there was not a single spider web or spider motif on her. She was dressed in an old prehistoric style, though it sure didn't look that way when she wore it. She was slightly smaller then Princess Luna, but carried all of the royal and regal grace and body that the sisters themselves carried. Though, curiously, Lyra noticed that she was an Earth Pony. The pony was clearly unaware of Lyra's presence, as she was busy talking to the various spiders that sat on her throne with her as a mother would her little baby. In fact, if it hadn't been for the fact that she was dressed the part, and that she had been told as such, Lyra wouldn’t have thought her to be a queen. At least, not right at this moment. Unsure as to how announce her presence, she softly cleared her throat. No reaction. Most other ponies would have, at this point, tired the same thing, though a little louder. Or perhaps said something to the effect of 'Excuse me?' rather softly and/or timidly. Lyra, however, was the kind of pony to do something else. “YO! QUEEN EIGHT LEGS! YO!” Lyra shouted, waving her hooves in the air. “It's me again!” The Queen raised her head, surprisingly unphased from Lyra's shouting. “Oh, hello again Ms. Pennyfeather. Are you well?” she asked sweetly, though now with the regal grace befitting a queen. Lyra smiled. “I sure am. So, got a second to talk?” The Queen looked around, contemplating. “I am asleep, am I not?” she looked at Lyra curiously. “That's what Princess Luna told me.” Lyra shrugged. “Hummm. Well, I don't know who this Princess Luna is, but I know who you are. So, Ms. Pennyfeather, what brings you to my subconscious mind today?” she smiled as she sat up to face her. Lyra took a deep breath, then asked: “Do you know anything about a lost and/or legendary toothbrush?”