Appledashery

by Just Essay


Ah, Snap, Son

"Is dere prroblem, pony child?" asked the blind matriarch.

"Nnngh..." Rainbow pushed herself back onto four hooves. "Okay. A bit of explanation is in order. Let's cut to the quick." She narrowed her eyes. "That floating castle place. Is it yours or isn't it?"

"Da." She nodded from her throne, white eyes curving melancholically. "Our vondrrous castle on a mountain. Stolen by drragon meenace."

"But... like... the hallways and corridors are way too big for you," Rainbow Dash said. "It's too big even for the likes of me! If you didn't build it, then who did?"

"Hmmmmm..." The squirrel leaned back in her large throne. "...ghostly anzhientz... crreatures who valked tall and built taller..."

"Old squirrel legend," Brucie spoke up, pointing at his head. "Anzhient crreatures vere lonely, so dhey bueelt squirrels beeger brainz, vheech made generateeonz of squirrels like me posseeble... also Mozer Rushnut."

"MOZER RUSHNUT!" every guard and every sentry in the throne room shouted.

Rainbow winced—especially when the subterranean town behind her echoed the same chant. "Guhhh..." Shifting the weight of her saddlebags, she took a step forward. "Right. Cool. Whatever. But how did Aatxe and the rest of his brood take over the castle?" Her brow furrowed. "Was it by using the Flame Staff?"

"Vhat?" the matriarch blinked blindly.

"Y'know... the big spinal staff thingy with all the granite sh—" Rainbow stopped on a dime, rolling her eyes. "Why am I describing it to you...?"

"Drragon leader haz burning scepter een possesseeon." The old squirrel nodded. "Dees much Mozer knows. Also knows dat so called 'Beeg Boss' uses eet to make prreceeous castle fly." She shook her head. "Dees sings not lost to Mozer Rushnut."

"MOZER RUSHNUT!"

Rainbow winced again. "So... like... haven't you tried infiltrating his place? At all?"

"Vonce... maybe twice..." The elder leaned back with a sigh. "But too dangerous. Too many of Mozer's cheeldren sent early to the gates of St. Petersbrittle. Ve have been een vait for best time to strike drragon gates."

"Well..." Rainbow gestured at herself. "What if I'm your opportunity, huh?" She grinned. "I've already tried infiltrating the castle, and though I wasn't entirely successful... well... take a look!" She winked. "I made it out alive, didn't I?"

"Hmmmm..." the elder scratched her chin, then tilted her head to the side. "Brucie, eez deez correct?"

"Mmmm... da... nyet..." The goggled squirrel shrugged. "Only saw pony as zhe escaped burning forest." His whiskers shook. "But doez have smell of drragon on her tail, da?"

"Look, my biggest mistake was thinking that—by getting the drop on them—I could intimidate these scaly dudes," Rainbow said. "But now that I know who's in charge of what, I think I can take control of the situation!" She pointed through the ceiling. "The biggest problem—in fact, the only problem—is some insanely big dude called Blood Fire. If you ask me, he's the only member of Aatxe's brood that matters. I've heard enough to realize that not every dragon is hunky-dory with Aatxe's leadership. He is a little shrimp of a guy, after all, and I'm willing to bet that if Blood Fire was in charge, they'd all give up on the stup—er... I mean super awesome flying castle and just fly off for greener pastures." She blinked. "Or... y'know... brittle, burnt, charcoal-black pastures. Whatever it is that dragons dig."

"Hmmmmm..." Brucie smoothed his tail back and smiled up at the throne. "Ees daring business pony, da? Brucie knowz he brrought her down here for reason!"

"You called der mageect tool a 'Flame Staff,'" Mother remarked. "Haz pony seen eet?"

"Da... er... I mean yes." Rainbow nodded. "And, what's more, I'm certain I have the power to cancel out its... erm... power." She gulped. "I just gotta get close enough to it in order to fiddle around and figure out how its chaos energy ticks."

"And vhy zhould I trust you to help us een any vay?" The elder's white eyes narrowed. "Vhat good can you brring Mozer Rushnut?"

"MOZER RUSHNUT!"

"Quit it!" Rainbow hissed. Composing herself, she sighed, then said, "Look... I know it's a gamble, but if we work together, I'm certain we can make a way for both of us to win this scenario. You'll get your castle back... I'll get my staff... the dragons get to buzz off to wherever they'll be of better use." She shrugged. "Win win win!"

"Hmmmm... so you vant us to work together?"

"Errr... yeah..."

"Funny..." The Mother tilted her head to the right. "Dat eez vhat otherz said too."

"Huh...?" Rainbow turned to look.

Two figures—escorted by surly rodents—shuffled into the torchlight.

"No! For the last time, I don't want to sell you my tail!" Sunset Shimmer snarled, bucking at the clambering creatures. "It would look like crud on you anyway—" Her eyes settled on Rainbow, and the pupils shrunk to penpricks. "Derp?"

"Rainbow," Romulus hissed.

Rainbow dragged her scuffling hoof. "Romulus."

"Now... uhm... Sparky..." Lancie stuck out of her saddlebag. "Before you lose your ever smexy cool—"

"Yaaaaaaaaugh!" Rainbow Dash and Romulus charged each other violently across the subterranean throneroom.