//------------------------------// // A Mixed Bag of Surprises // Story: "You Can't Go Back, Michael." // by Mike the Red //------------------------------// Princess Celestia took me aside at this point, though she also levitated two cups of punch to us. "Have a drink, Michael -- I believe an explanation is in order," she noted. I took the proffered cup and levitated it to my mouth, sipping lightly at the punch. I raised my eyebrows at the taste, noting a slight hint of alcohol. "Somepony spike the punch or something?" I asked. "That might be your mind playing tricks on you -- there is no alcohol in the punch -- Pinkie doesn't do that sort of thing," the alicorn replied, her expression hardening a little, her smile tightening just a smidge. "My apologies, your Majesty, but I know the taste of alcohol -- I guess I might be jumping to conclusions, sorry about that," I offered, my ears flopping down as I almost instinctively lowered my head. I heard her giggle in response, causing me to blush. "That's quite all right, Michael -- but back to my original point. The reason why I asked you not to return was for your safety -- and as you might have discovered, Discord did indeed abduct Twilight -- the fact you shared her bed troubles me as well -- don't look at me like that, the reason is quite simple -- suppose he had chosen you instead of Twilight. What would you have done?" The sound of a zipper alerted the room to a new presence. The chaos entity himself decided to show up. "That's right, Celly! What if I had chosen this false Twilight instead of the real one? I may look stupid, but I'm not stupid! I know all kinds of things -- and I knew enough about this -- human in a pony's body -- not to take him. So, Michael, you care to answer Celly's question?" he asked, flashing his teeth in a wicked smile, his jaundiced eyes glaring at me. "What are you doing here? Princess, didn't you banish him or something?" I asked worriedly, flashing her a look of fear. "Oh, relax, Michael, I'm not going to do anything to you -- yet -- but please, entertain me! Enlighten me! Elucidate me!" "I'd rather eliminate you instead, but -- truthfully, I don't really know what I would have done -- regardless of your desires, I'm still a sapient being -- and even though I might be wearing a copy of Twilight's body, it doesn't make me any less of a pony -- or human -- than before yesterday, before I woke up in this form," I replied, my muscles showing tension, my face a mask of steely resolve. The Draconequus laughed heartily at my retort. "Oh, Michael, you have so much to learn!" he guffawed before disappearing as quickly as he'd arrived. "Why does he have to do that?" I asked rhetorically. "Because he's a big Meany McMeanypants," Pinkie replied as she trotted over to me. "But he's okay, now -- he promised he wasn't going to hurt any more ponies here in Equestria! So you're safe! So how about a game of pin the tail?" "Can I take a rain-check on that one, Pinkie? I think I need to talk to Princess Celestia a bit more," I offered half-heartedly, a sheepish grin on my face. "Okie dokie loki, but don't keep me waiting too long! I want you to have some fun!" she chirped as she bounded away. I glanced to the alicorn at this point. "So -- if you don't mind my asking -- who was it who helped you with Discord? And why is he still prowling around Ponyville?" I asked. I flashed her a look of uncertainty and curiosity. I was troubled by the fact he was still on the loose and what Pinkie had said about him promising not to hurt ponies still rang hollow to me. "Are you familiar with the concept of alternate universes? There was another pony who carries the name of Michael Walker -- I recall you naming yourself as such -- but this pony was wearing a copy of Trixie Lulamoon's body -- and he proved to be quite capable of subduing Discord. As for why he remains free, he was ... persuaded to change his ways ... somewhat ... by your counterpart," she replied, still maintaining a serene smile. "I would have liked to have met him if that's the case -- I wonder if he might have been able to give me some advice," I mused. "I wonder why he chose to be Trixie, though -- and if he might even return to this universe." My expression brightened before Celestia dashed my hopes again. "I hate to say this, Michael, but your counterpart informed me that he would not be returning when I informed him of your presence. He indicated no desire to meet you, given the possibility of creating a paradox. He did however wish you the best of luck on your future endeavors, such as they may be." "Well, that's cool. I still would like to meet Trixie if that's possible," I offered. Some of the partygoers overheard that and glared at me in disapproval. "Do you know how much trouble she caused us the last time she was here?" one of them asked. A few more chimed in with similar sentiments and one told me never to mention that mare's name ever again. I hung my head in response to the sharp rebukes and offered a quiet apology as well. "Your desires seem to be misplaced, Michael -- and Trixie left with your counterpart, so she can't return, either," the alicorn chuckled softly. "I guess I just wanted to satisfy my curiosity, your Majesty," I opined. I sat in silence waiting for her to say something else before Pinkie returned again. "Hey, don't be such a Grouchy McGrouchypants, this party's for you! C'mon and have some fun! We even got you a present!" she chirped as she bounced in place, barely able to contain her excitement. "I hope to have some more words with you, Princess," I offered as I rose to my hooves and accompanied the pink party pony over to another table, one laden with quite a few gift-wrapped packages. I selected one at random, noting its cylindrical shape. I used my telekinesis to hold it in front of me, the top facing towards the ceiling. I opened the top, only to have a couple of spring-loaded coils shoot out of the canister, shocking me with the surprise. Quite a few ponies laughed at my misfortune. "Um, Pinkie, was that the present you intended to give me? Or was there a different one?" I asked, flashing her a look of helplessness. My mood had turned sour quite quickly, causing her to sidle against me, smiling warmly but not laughing. "Sorry about that, Mikey, here, let me get you a different one," she offered, grabbing a different package. Upon opening it, I was surprised to see a small plate with a slice of cake on it. "I thought the cake was on a different table," I mused before taking a bite. The flavors meshed wonderfully on my palate, seemingly exploding in my mouth. "Oooh, that's exactly what I wanted! Thank you so much!" I chirped, savoring the scrumptious taste of the MMMM cake. "It wasn't easy, but I gotcha another slice!" Pinkie exclaimed, highly pleased to see me smiling again. "Thank you, Pinkie -- I know I wasn't there to help you in your time of need -- and I know I probably don't deserve such a nice party -- but thanks again for thinking about me," I offered warmly. "Don't be such a silly billy! You still deserve this party because I didn't get to throw one for you last time! And if your wife decides to stop by again, I'll be sure to throw her a party, too!" she giggled.