"Rremember..." Brucie raised a single paw as he led Rainbow Dash to a hanging canvas flap at the front entrance of the underground wooden fort. "Pony only speaks vhen first spoken to by Mozer. Do not look Mozer deerrectly een eyez. Pony eez here by Mozer's grrace alone. Do not look Mozer deerrectly een eyez."
"But... you said that last part twice already," Rainbow muttered.
"So long as Brucie don't forget, den pony shouldn't forget either, da?"
"Uhhhhhhh—"
"Let Mozer brring up drragon problem first. Eez senseeteeve topic for Mozer. Lost many squirrelz seence srown out of Castle."
"Ah jeez, that sucks."
"Da. Mozer rregretz sendeeng dem out to gaser peanuts durring scorpion season. Ahem." Brucie knocked on the wooden frame of the entrance. Two other large rodents stuck their smoky faces out.
"Vhat eez et?"
"Ivan. Sergei." Brucie smiled and bowed low. "Brucie brrings posseeble solution to drragon problemz."
"Eez seez anozer proposal for flaming dung catapult?"
"Nyet!" Brucie stood up, frowning through his incisors. "Brucie haz moved far past dung catapult!" He pointed at Rainbow. "See? Flying pony frrom Morsel Landz! Verry real! Much serious beezneez! Now go vake up Mozer!"
"Mrmmfff... fine... but eez Brucie's funeral."
"Da. Alwayz eez Brucie's funeral," Brucie said with a sigh. He looked back at the pegasus, shrugging his furry shoulders. "Ehhh... poleeteeshuns, da?"
"Sure. Whatever." Rainbow fidgeted in place.
Lancie whispered in her ear. "You're taking this rather well."
"Dude... at least they're not screaming buffalo with a penchant for giving me concussions."
"Huh?"
Rainbow sighed. "Long story. Before we met."
"I... think I'd very much like to hear this story."
"Shhh..." Rainbow hushed the statue as a group of squirrels finally motioned her and Brucie in. "I think we're about to meet Princess of the Nut Farm." BONK! She hit her head on the tiny doorframe. "Augh! Sonuva—"
"Vatch your head, pony!"
"Yeah yeah..." Rainbow rubbed her skull, finally ducking into the dimly lit room. "I got the... message." She blinked, her eyes suddenly sparkling. "Whoah..."
In sharp contrast to the drab, rustic sights of the subterranean township outside—the interior of the fort was filled to the brim with all manner of gold trinkets, shiny treasures, and bejewelled artifacts. Brucie's tiny figure was swallowed up by the immeasurable heap of valuable knick-knacks.
"It... it almost..." Rainbow purred, strolling past the piles of gleaming things. "...almost looks like—"
"A dragon hoarde," Lancie remarked.
Rainbow nodded. "Seems like these varmints made off with as much as they could when they were driven out of the castle." She gulped. "I bet the dragons have as much a beef with them as they do with the dragons."
"Highly unlikely," rolled a matriarch's voice from across the chamber. "Seeing as dey took much of my childrren from me."
Rainbow looked straight ahead.
A wrinkled rodent with gray skin and an even grayer tail squatted in the center of a lopsided throne that was ten times too big for her—much less for Rainbow Dash. Her eyes were pure white, and she gazed straight ahead.
"Please, strranger... come into light so I can see you."
"... ... ..." Rainbow blinked. She glanced at Lancie. Lancie glanced at her.
"Are you dere, pony?" the matiarch repeated, squinting straight ahead.
"Ahem..." Brucie stifled a hissing growl. "Stand vhere Mozer can see you..."
Rainbow fidgeted. Squirmed. At last, clearing her throat, she shuffled forward, standing directly in front of the tiny she-squirrel.
"Hmmm..." The leader's eyes twitched behind her thick cataracts. "A vittle bit closer, da?"
"... ... ..." Rainbow Dash side-stepped so that she was off center.
The old squirrel smiled. "Da... eez more like eet." She reached a paw out to Rainbow's left. "Velcome to my humble burrow, Morsellander."
Rainbow bit her lip. Using her wingtips for counter balance, she leaaaaned over, stretched a hoof out, and shook the tiny matriarch's hoof. "Uhhhh... pleasure's all mine, Miss..."
"Dhey call me Mozer Rushnut."
"Mozer Rushnut!" Brucie chanted boldly—as did every other living squirrel within ear shot.
"Gaaah!" Thwomp! Rainbow pratfalled completely, her muzzle grimacing.
"Ah." Lancie smiled. "Here we go."