When Rainbow Dash awoke, she was being gnawed at by an odd sensation. It wasn't the fact that she was continually lying on the squishy scales of an enormous fish creature, but rather it was a curious melody playing lazily against the fuzz of her ears.
“Mrmmmff... guh...” Rainbow Dash stirred, rolling over and rubbing her face. She squinted up at a starry scale, then lifted her head just long enough to make out Bard squatting a few spaces over, cradling a guitar in his hooves. “Grff... seriously?”
“Can't help it, darlin',” Bard muttered through a soft smile. He continued twanging away, his strings plinking against a constant rush of ocean waves and swishing fins in the background. “Couldn't sleep, so this helps me relax.”
“Relax?” Rainbow rubbed her eyes... then rubbed them again. “Gnngh... what for?”
“Jee...” Bard grunted, waving at the giant dorsal fin looming above them. “I wonder why.”
Rainbow craned her neck to see Wildcard hunched over, fast asleep. “He doesn't seem to be having any trouble.”
“Dubya-Cee could sleep through a freight train crash. I should know.” Bard winked. “I've done witnessed it first-hoof.”
Rainbow sighed.
“If it bothers you so terribly, I'll put the guitar away,” Bard muttered. “Just... gots lots ta think about and this is my best way of processin' it all methodical-like.”
Rainbow opened her muzzle to respond—
“Heehee! I, for one, think it's a colorful little ditty!”
Rainbow looked over. She exhaled through curved lips.
Pinkie Pie lay upside down, her legs propped up against the dorsal fin. She smiled stupidly in Rainbow's direction. “I think it's super laid back! So I'm laying back!” She giggled. “How 'bout it, Dashie? We've got ourselves a regular Whinnie Nelson!”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I bet he'd be flattered to hear that.”
“Oh boy...” Bard's lips curved. “Just which one of them ghosty-ghosts are ya gabbin' with this time?”
“Hehe! He's funny and down-home country!” Pinkie grinned. “We should go and fetch AJ from the ruby puff puff! I bet they'd be a perfect match!”
Rainbow's muzzle hung open... ultimately forming a grimace. She cleared her throat and looked aside. “One thing at a time, Pinkie...”
“Ah... yes... Pinkie Pie...” Bard smirked as he struck a few more cords. “I done made a bet with Dubya-Cee that she's actually got a red coat and y'all are just frontin' with her name.”
Rainbow sighed. “Trust me. She's pinker than cotton candy and giggles.”
“Where I come from, cotton candy is blue.”
“Well, where you come from is friggin' weird.”
Bard chuckled. “Well, one day we'll all find out, ya reckon?”
“Uhhhhhhh...” Rainbow Dash blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I mean when we finally get all them marefriends of yers back into the corporeal world!” Bard plucked and plucked, his eyes darting over to Rainbow. “Bet you ain't the only thing colorful 'bout this here voyage.”
“Bard... like... for real...” Rainbow squirmed in place. “Even after all I've told you and Wildcard, I... don't think you have any natural idea just how long—like—how honest-to-Celestia friggin' long my journey is—”
“Wuh oh!” Pinkie Pie suddenly quivered. She rolled upright and brushed at her own tummy. “My chest fluff is sticking on end!”
“What does that mean?” Rainbow moaned. “'Beware of silly cowboys?'”
“Nope!” Pinkie shook her head, smiling. “It means there's a full moon out tonight!” Her face lit up from a ruby light-source, and she gazed at Rainbow's neck. “OoOOooOOooOOooh!” she cooed. “Shiny!”
Rainbow Dash gasped. She took a look at her hot glowing pendant. She then flung her gaze skyward.
The full moon came out from behind a swath of clouds, shining brilliantly.
“Omigosh!” Rainbow Dash grinned wide. She flapped her wings, dropped her saddlebag, then flew staight up—unrestrained—until she perched on the very top of Ultimo's dorsal fin. “Omigosh Omigosh Omigosh!”
“What?!” Bard gasped, genuinely concerned. In scrambling to his feet, he awoke a dazed griffon beside him. “What's the matter?!”
“Nothing's the matter!” Rainbow cackled. She flung a hoof to her pendant and stroked circles across the ruby lightning bolt's surface. “Everything is wonderful! Hey! Your Majesty!” She bit her lip, aiming her pendant straight up at the brightly-lit beacon in the sky. “Come innnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, Luna!”
Suddenly, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle materialized in thin-air. They stared bleary eyed at the scene.
“Huh... Rainbow...?” Twilight squinted at Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie Pie, what's g-going on?”
Rarity stifled a yawn. “We were simply 'resting,' but then something must have enchanted the Element of Loyalty—”
“Heehee!” Pinkie pointed. “It's just Dashie worshiping the moon in the middle of the night! No biggie!”
“Ah, I see—” Rarity nodded, then did a double-take. “Wait.”
“The moon!” Twilight gasped, then zipped up to float beside Rainbow Dash. “Oh my! Rainbow Dash! Princess Luna—!”
“I know, girl!” Rainbow nodded vehemently. “I'm on it!”
“I... I dun get it,” Bard muttered as Wildcard stood awkwardly by his side. The Desperadoes exchanged glances. “I thought Camellia was completely out of bounds by now—”
“Not Camellia ya friggin' hay-huffer! Luna! The excellence of execution! The best there is, the best there was—”
Suddenly, Rainbow's pendant glowed with silver luminescence. A familiar voice floated between them and the heavens: “Rainbow Dash? Is that you, child?”
Rainbow grinned wide. “...and the best there ever will be! Hey there, Princess Luna!” She stifled a giggled and pumped her hoof in the air. “Wooohooo! How ya doin', Yer Highness?!”
“Rainbow Dash! We were... I-I mean I was quite concerned for a while there...”
“Heeheehee!” Rainbow giggled, her cheeks flushed. “I can tell!”
“You hadn't answered my previous attempts at contact, and—yet again—I could not help but fear the worse—”
“Huh?” Rainbow blinked, then she winced viciously. “Oh jeez! Ah jeez ah jeez ah jeez!” Glancing nervously at her friends, she jittered and stammered: “How long has it been?”
“Rest easy, my little pony. You have only missed one of our three regular evenings of available communication.”
“Oh... Ohhhhhhhh...” Rainbow's body deflated from where she dangled off the dorsal fin. “Oh thank goddess! Hahaha... whewwwwwww...”
“I did not mean to frighten you, Rainbow Dash. Nevertheless, it is... indescribably relieving to hear your voice.”
“Yeah, my bad, Your Highness.” Rainbow Dash smiled drunkenly. “I was k-kinda sorta at the bottom of the ocean over the last few days.”
“I... see... and you have survived?”
“Hehe! Yup!”
“And have you experienced good fortune in your travels?”
“Yup yup!” Rainbow bore a wild grin. “I'm riding the back of a giant sea serpent!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“You won't believe the kind of crud I've been through as of late!”
“Have you... by chance... encountered more of your loved ones?”
“Oh Luna...” Rainbow giggled, practically swinging off the fin as her right forelimb dangled. “Wooooo! We're here! Half of us is all here!”
“Some elaboration is in order—”
“I'm talking Rarity and Pinkie Pie!”
“Truly?”
“Fo 'sho!”
“You... have salvaged them from the depths?”
“Rarity is with me right now! Pinkie Pie is with me right now!” Rainbow smiled down at her gawking friends. “Twilight's as alive and eggheady as ever! I mean, sure, they're still all ghosty and invisible to everypony except me, but—woooohooo! We're doin' this, Luna!” Rainbow fought another wave of giggles. “We're doin' this thing and it rocks!”
“That is an utterly fantastic development, Rainbow Dash.”
“I'd say! Pinkie Pie's hopping up and down! Rarity's about ready to friggin' cry. How 'bout that, Rares?”
“Mmmmmmmm!” Rarity held her forelimbs over her muzzle, tears welling up in her eyes. “Oh, Your Most Esteemed Royal Highness, it is an absolute pleasure to hear—”
“Ah... jeez...” Rainbow winced. “Rarity, so sorry. I... k-kinda forgot that only she can hear me, girl.”
“It's... it's quite alright...” Rarity wiped her cheeks, smiling painfully. “Just hearing her is blissful enough.”
“It's like a little piece of h-home,” Twilight said, shuddering.
“Weeee!” Pinkie hopped around in a ghostly circle. “Moon party on the back of big fish! Moon party on the back of big fish!”
“They're super crazy happy to hear you, Luna,” Rainbow said, gazing up at the sky. “It's like you've brought Ponyville to them.”
“It fills me with great pleasure to do just that, Rainbow Dash,” Luna's voice said. “I trust you didn't accomplish this miracle on your own?”
“Pffft! You kiddin'? I had some pretty awesome help along the way! Courtesy of more ponies than you can count! Heck, two of them are with me right now! Lemme introduce you to—” Rainbow spun about, but froze upon seeing the Desperadoes.
Bard and Wildcard stood side by side, shoulders slumped and muzzle/beak agape. They jolted nervously upon Rainbow making eye contact with them.
“Whoops... eheheheh...” Rainbow smiled nervously. “Guess not everypony's prepared for a lunatic conversation.” She cleared her throat. “What's the matter, boys? Did things get just a bit to real for you?”
“H-huh?” Bard jolted in place. “No! No, I'm... j-just...” He gulped. “...is... is that the alicorn you was talkin' about?” The stallion squinted. “The one in charge of the moon?”
“No,” Rainbow droned, sticking her tongue out. “It's the Princess in charge of Twilight's brother's loins. Who do you think?”
Twilight blinked suddenly. “Hey.” She raised a hoof. “Wait—”
“It's Princess Luna, ya dipshuckers!” Rainbow's voice cracked. “Come on! Say something! Don't be shy!”
“Uhhhh... I-I might need a bit of time to put together somethin' worth sayin', eheheh...” Bard nervously fanned himself with his hat. “But Dubya-Cee here... I bet he'd lurve to say somethin' to the Magical Moon Goddess of a Faraway Land!”
“... … ...” Wildcard turned and simply glared at Bard.
“What?”