Knowing that I had been sexually functional all along changed nothing. I had had no such problems in the past. Only there are a few side effects to the change on the subject. One of which led to me finding my self pregnant and expecting a birth in just under a year.
Of course, this gives me tons of details to write to my friends about. Even if I guess I will eave out most of the details, particularly the more private and intimate of them. I am not going to say when how or with whom I am expectant. Why? Do they realy have to know? It feels much too private to go into, at this point.
I had always been the Pen Pal to all my penpals, I guess, but now I am Pen Pal in a different way. It is my name, securely expressed and proven by the mark on my flanks. There is no denying it. Not that I ever cared to.
Being a Pen Pall is one thing, now I am the Pen Pall. I had found a new drive in writing my mail, including the friends by mail.
Of course, it had taken me a while to notice, to realize that I had been pregnant. These things do take time, after all. The impregnation takes a few days, all by itself. Then it takes more time before the effects on my body is noticeable enough for me to pick up on. Maybe this is for the better, at least in my case. On the other hoof, how great it would be to know instantly, if you wanted to avoid the pregnancy. Just as I guess it would have been great to have an early heads up, if you were actively trying to be pregnant in order to have your first child, or foal in my case.
Right now, it is just a joyous occasion. I am cheerfully looking forwards to having her with me, while I am expecting to enjoy the process from the instant of realization, all the way to the instant of birth. I am going to feel the life growing inside within my very own body as a bond is building up and growing between me and the growing foal.
Once it had sunk in, I am expectant and looking forwards to what is before me. I guess it is only natural to a mother. It isn’t as if I had any known ailment that could jeopardize me or the foal. Just as I have nothing in my life that would be a burden on my motherhood. No plans to get in the way. I am the Pen Pal, and as such; this is just another news to tell all my friends about. Even if I may choose to filter out some details to some. The once I know they are not enjoying, or if it feels too personal and private to include in the next letter. Not all will be as jubilant as I already am. I spare them what they don’t need to know. Even if I may have to explain that I am pregnant, and that I am expecting my first foal in the eleven months from now.
There is the one small detail that never did change; that can never be changed. I am still Pen Pal. It is who I was, and who I am, just as I will remain. Maybe I had been a Pen Pal even before, but now it turned into who I am, it is my identity. Did I ever want to change it, or become anything more or different? Maybe I could have imagined it before. Yet, now it is what I am, I can’t see myself as anything but that one Pen Pal. Why bother trying to imagine anything else?
I like having friends, and write letters to them, knowing they write letters back to me. I don’t mind having a few friends close by, close enough to actually see them face-to-face or even sharing my bed with them. Maybe part of this is in being the Pony, even if I am an anthropomorphic one at that.
Funny, I never ever tried to pull out the back door; that little rubber tube from my rear entrance. Why? Why bother? I never did it, and it seems I never will. Why? I guess you are the only one to ask, to ponder the possibility.
Why don’t you try to pull it out, to extract it for me? Or, at least extract your own? I can’t help you on this point. It simply isn’t my place. I can’t, I am entirely incapable to pull it out or even touch your little tube in the first place. It is the way of things and the way I like it to be.
Okay, right now I would be worrying about my pregnancy. Would it change anything in this? How would it affect the foal within me right now, if I were to extract the tube, the back door?
What if it would mean the same as if I had had an abortion? I certainly couldn’t have that. I can’t even imagine doing this. Or, if she would no longer be my foal afterwards? Would she be changed in the same manner as the tube, or in this case; the extraction of the tube is affecting me? Could I slip that back in and see her revert to what she was before I extracted my tube? Maybe you could live with that? I just can’t take the risk of losing my foal. My one and only foal.
Maybe I am not a gambler? I just don’t take this kind of chances. Even if I did take the chance as I inserted the tube from behind on my own? Yet, then I had the word of a friend, backing up the decision. I trusted her, and I still do. I can’t say I regret it now.
I like my foal the way she is, and I like the way I am now. I don’t feel the need to change, or an urge to even try to explore anything more now.
I enjoy writing letters to my numerous friends all over the globe and beyond.
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