//------------------------------// // Chapter Two - With Blood and Soap // Story: Mixed Crusaders // by LegacyMine //------------------------------// My theory that Spike was going to try and exact some small minded revenge for our behavior turned out to be correct. After princess purple told us to leave her alone, he herded us to a broom closet, (Which was make of crystal) handed us mops (also made of crystal), and ordered us to get cleaning. This made the next two hours unpleasant. Apparently the whole castle needed cleaning, since it had recently caught on fire, (How does crystal even catch on fire?) and so we were supposed to scrub the smoke stains of off every bloody square inch of it. Not that I didn’t have a lot of experience cleaning up after major disasters, mind you. It’s just that normally they’re disasters that I caused in the first place. Solving someone else’s problem just seemed wrong. Off to my side Stealthaloo dropped his mop and started growling. Walking up to Spike, he snarled, “I think we’ve spent enough time on this, don’t you, Spike?” Spike, watching impassively, said, “What makes you think that?” “Because I assume you have to check up on your boss at some point. You don’t want her to blow up the castle again, do you?” Spike considered a moment and answered, “I suppose you’re right. Feel free to rest until I get back. That goes for all three of you.” As soon as he had left hearing range, Stealthaloo wheeled on me. “This is all your fault Mourning Bell!” he raged, “Barring that you antagonized that stupid dragon, it was your idea to start messing around with Dark Star’s portal!” “Well you’re the one who thought it would be such a good idea to search his house!” I snapped back. Apple Thorn stepped between me and Stealthaloo and shoved us away from each other. “Why don’t both of you settle down and,-” He started before Stealthaloo interrupted him. “Shut up you stupid peasant!” he yelled, “I am sick and tired of listening to you, and in fact, I’m tired of your whole disgusting family!” Apple Thorn glared, “You’d better real careful how ya talk about my family.” “Feeling sensitive are we? And I think I might know why. We all know the Apple clan is big, but how big is it really? With your older brother’s reputation as such a, lady's man, it might be larger than anyone suspects. You might even have a whole slew of nephews that you don’t know about. Ponies, half griffons, and maybe even,” Stealthaloo paused a moment, before almost purring out the next word. “Changelings.” As soon as Stealthaloo mentioned changelings, Apple Thorn barred his teeth, and looked so furious that is he got any angrier, I honestly thought he was going to have an aneurysm. I will not let Stealthaloo treat him like this. We’re supposed to be friends, and I refuse to have some fat purple lizard drive us apart. “Cut that out Stealthaloo,” I said, having decided to talk him down, “After all, isn’t is a bit hypocritical of you insult Apple Thorn’s family, when you have so many problems with your own? It must have been hard being a pegasi aristocrat when you were born with absolutely no magic, not even able to walk in a cloud house, much less ever hope to fly. But I bet all that was nothing in comparison to all the difficulties you’re having now with them since turning into a Federate hybrid, am I right?” OK, I admit that about a quarter a way through my little speech, I had pretty much forgotten about making our problem better, and had instead, mocked of him in ways that made his treatment of Apple Thorn look polite. As such, Stealthaloo did not look happy about my choice in words. Though I have been informed that Federate hybrids don’t eat ponies like normal Federates do, (hybrids are ponies with Federate DNA spliced into them so it would technically be cannibalism) judging from the expression on his face, any doubt I had about the issue was going to be solved in approximately five seconds while he beat me to death with my own spinal cord. He screamed and jumped on me like a wildcat, raking me with his claws and trying to get a grip on me with his fangs. Then Applethorn tackled us both, and soon any thought of peaceful resolution was gloriously destroyed in an epic free-for-all. After all, what was some mindless violence among friends? Still, as I pummeled Stealthaloo with my forelegs I couldn’t help wonder if those fillies, the something or other crusaders were doing any better. _____________________________________________________________________________________________________ “This could not have come at a worse time” Timothy Lulamoon halted his examination of the broken Rift Portal and turned to the speaker. “Come again?” he asked. “I said,” repeated Dark Star, Archmagus of the Union and element of magic, “that this could not have come at a worse time. With so many resources needed for the Changeling and Federate civil wars, and such tense relations with the Griffons, we simply do not have time to deal with this. As much as I hate admitting to my mistakes, we’re going to need help on this one.” “I know. And to think that all this nonsense was caused by some old machine that we haven’t used in years,” Lulamoon sulked. “I knew we should have destroyed it.” “It seems obvious in hindsight doesn’t it?” Dark Star mused. “Anyway, what do you think we should do now?” “I don’t know. We should probably start by calling the Desperado’s relatives; we don’t want them mad at us later. But to be honest, the only one we know who really knows how Rift Gates work is Lord Poison Pie, and he’s going to be in the Autocracy for the next two weeks. Besides, I’d rather he not find out about this.” “I understand your concern but we need to contact him anyway. He’s going to figure out what happened sooner or later, and he’ll be less angry if we tell him first.” Dark Star shuddered, “And trust me, you do not want to see him angry. He’s not the Alicorn of Terror for nothing.” "You’re right. But diverting to less important matters, what do you intend to do about,” Lulamoon waved his hoof in the direction of the three still unconscious fillies, “That? Are you sure they’re alternate versions of the Desperadoes?” “Positive.” answered Dark Star. “My genetic scans confirm that accounting their obvious differences, they’re virtually identical. As for what to do with them, I suppose we can have my servants look after them like I did for the colts; I barely have enough time to get a decent night’s rest these days, much less babysit fillies.” “It does seem like our best idea for now. But I’m worried that if we call Poison, he’ll have the UID take them into custody. And I don’t want the Secret Police anywhere near them.” Dark Star sighed, “Neither do I. But for the moment I just can’t see any other options.” Suddenly, the air in front of them started to warp, and the two stallions stared in confusion at the newly formed dimensional rift that had appeared at the other end of the room. Dark Star slowly walked to the rift and prodded it with his hoof. The rift rippled like water at the touch, but did not let his hoof pass like a true liquid. Not turning away from the rift, Dark Star said, “Lulamoon, I see another option.”