“Jason!” Rarity snapped, spotting her husband trying to sneak into their room. “What happened to your clothes?! You look absolutely filthy!” She marched over to the stunned jotun, taking in his appearance. “What is... is that... blood!?” she shrieked, backing up a little, looking queasy.
“Um... yes, yes it is Rarity, I was just going to uh...shower...” Jason said with a sheepish laugh, slowly backing into the room.
“Oh...oh dear Celestia I’m going to be sick...”Rarity pushed past him, running into the bathroom, the sound of vomiting following a few seconds later.
“Well...fuck...” Jason mumbled, sighing a little. He moved over to his dresser to get out some clean clothes when his surroundings abruptly changed, being replaced by some type of ship. Near by were Iron Man and a minotaur in a similar suit. Jason sighed, putting his head in his hands. "This couldn't have waited? I wanted to take a shower..."
"You can use mine after you help me out with a small red problem," said Jacob before a giant, metallic, crimson fist burst through the wall. "And by small, I mean big."
"That shouldn't be hard," he said, cracking his neck.
"If my armor wasn't in disrepair at the moment, I could kick his ass off this ship. I'll distract him while you beat the snot out of him," said Jacob before disappearing out of thin air and popping out of a flower pot. "Hey, Scarlet Bastard! If you want my bounty, you have to catch me!" He then started running around the minotaur while shooting the joints of the suit with the plasma gun.
The young man cracked his neck, smirking a little. "Omnitrix, NRG," he said, shifting into a large suit-clad creature with three glowing slits in its helmet.
Flipping away from a punch, Jacob said, "Not bad, but I would not mind it if you don't go nuclear. The radiation armor is being repaired at the moment." He pulled his gun and tried it, only to get clicking noises. "Damnit!"
"I'll go with something else then," he responded, tapping the Omnitrix and shifting into a grinning Gengar. He smirked more, throwing a shadow ball at Dynamo.
A crack then started to form on the chest plate. This caused the Dynamo to ignore Jacob and turn all of his attention to Jason. A miniature mini gun popped out of his right arm. The turrets started spinning and firing large bullets at the pokemon.
"You realize I'm a ghost, right?"
"Wait, what?!" shouted the Dynamo as the bullets just went through Jason. "Fine, how about we make a deal? You stand aside, and I will collect the guy in the suit."
"And why we would I do that?" Jason asked, never losing his grin.
"Because if you don't, I will use the EMP to shut down this ship, killing anything that isn't currently covered in high quality armor." said Dynamo with a smirk.
This just caused Jacob to laugh. "You bastard. You do realize that by using the EMP, you will also shut down your suit. Including the life support functions. Now Jason," said Jacob before pulling out another pistol. "Let's teach this guy some manners."
Jason leapt forward, throwing a shadow punch aimed at Dynamo's face.
The Dynamo tumbled backwards near the edge of the ship, before he tripped over Jacob's outstretched leg. The Dynamo fell off. While he was falling, Jacob shot a hole in his jet fuel tank.
"Well that guy is boned," Jason said, watching Dynamo fall, his face neutral.
Jacob cleared his throat. "While our horned adversary is indeed boned, he shouldn't be dead. He was using a stolen life support system. At least there is no way he could fly back up here. Also, here," Jacob said before tossing Jason a towel and a spare suit. "Figured you could use these. Also, the bathroom is four doors to the right."
"Thank you," Jason said, returning to normal. He caught the towel, walking past Jacob, soon vanishing from sight.
About thirty minutes later, Jason returned clean. Jacob was giving orders to some droids before turning around to see Jason. "Sup?"
"Nm, I feel a lot better... changeling blood is very hard to get out of one's hair," he said, looking around. "So..."
"Wanna do something childish and immature?" said Jacob before pulling out a water balloon.
"Sure, why not?" Jason asked, shrugging his shoulders.
Jacob snapped his fingers, causing the ship to fly over a small village. "I took the liberty of cloaking this, so we shouldn't have much of an issue." He picked up one of the balloons and aimed it carefully. He threw the balloon to where it bounced off of three minotaur's heads and popped on a child's horns. "Top that."
Jason tapped his chin, thinking. He created a snowball in his hand, which he threw down at a guard. It grew in size as it flew, becoming the size of a small child before it slammed into the guard, sending him cartwheeling into a water trough.
"Not bad," said Jacob. "How about this? Take a look at the flag on top of that building twenty yards from us." He pulled a slingshot out of a pocket and fired a small metal ball at the golden ball on top of the flag. The golden ball fell off and into a gutter, where it rolled onto a street. A villager tripped on said ball and landed on a smaller villager. The small villager slipped and fell on a trashcan lid and slid into the pile of snow made by Jason. Jacob looked at Jason with a sheepish grin. "Uh… I meant to do that."
"Of course you did," Jason said, rolling his eyes. "OK, as fun as this is... why don't you give me a tour of this thing?"
Getting his composure back, Jacob led Jason to the first of many rooms. "First up is the laboratory. It has all the bells and whistles needed," he said before gesturing to a bell and a whistle. "Over on the table closest to you is my chem lab. Don't touch anything glowing." He then reached into a drawer and pulled out a small glass vial filled with a grey powder. "This is one of my first scientific breakthroughs. A new element!" said Jacob with a large amount of enthusiasm.
"It's... powder..." Jason said, raising his eyebrow.
"Not just any powder!" said Jacob before pulling out a steel hammer. "When this power comes into contact with any metal, it changes said metal. For instance, if I were to put this on a piece of copper, it would become brittle. If I put this on steel, It would turn it into a random fictional metal. Watch." Jacob then took the cork off of the vial and lightly sprinkled it on the hammer. No change seemed to happen until it sparkled with lightning. "Great, it became Uru. Now I gotta find someone who can wield this."
Jason reached out, wrapping his fingers around the handle, easily lifting it up. "Can I keep this?"
With slightly raised eyebrows, Jacob said, "Sure, but if you are going to practice using that, I recommend that you find someplace barren and empty, to avoid collateral damage." Jacob then laughed. "If I was a dwarf, this would be much more fitting! Hahahahahaaa. Anyway, what are you going to name it?"
"I dunno," Jason said, shrugging. "Though I've meet the Dwarves, nice people, made me and my friends armor... which I have to get repaired..." he said, sighing.
"You know, I could help you out with that," said Jacob while holding a finger to his ear. "I just received word that my suit has received it's last cosmetic repairs and I think that I could fix it up a bit. If you don't mind, that is."
"You can try, but I doubt you can work with the scales of the world serpent and the fangs of Fenrir," Jason commented, twirling his hammer.
"You'd be surprised," said Jacob
"Well if you want to try, be my guest," Jason said, pulling his armor out of his pocket and placing it on the lab table.
"I think that I might need something, one sec." Jacob then ran to a box and started throwing out stuff. "No." Two bitching ravens were thrown out. "Nah." A unicycle was thrown out. "Maybe in the bedroom." A smaller box that was covered in a white sheet as thrown out. "Here we go." He pulled out a ray gun with a stopwatch on it. "Let's hope this works." He fired the gun at the armor. The armor's chipped pieces and rusted bits slowly reverted back to its original quality. "There, good as new. Literally."
"How the hell did you manage to do that?" Jason asked, running his hand over the armor, letting out a whistle.
"This gun allows me to reverse the time of an inanimate object. I literally made it as good as new," said Jacob with a little pride.
"That's pretty awesome. Best thing I made was a pair of legs for Rainbow Dash," Jason said, stroking his beard gently. "Hey, can I get a look at your armor?"
"Alright, sure. I'll even give a demonstration of it's most impressive feature." Jacob then turned to a small microphone. "Jarvis, I want the Mark 50 down here as quick as you can get it."
"Yes sir," said a voice from a loudspeaker. Ten seconds later, the Mark Fifty walked in and opened up, allowing Jacob to slip in and activate all functions. The suit closed on itself and the eyes lit up in a pale blue. "Alright, now for that feature, or should I say, those features." Noticing Jason's curiosity, Jacob elaborated. "The first one is a portal cannon that allows me to travel to any universe that my token was activated in, and the second one is this." He then shouted, "Uru armor!" The armor flashed brightly all over and then dimmed to reveal a very unusual-looking suit of armor. "Pretty cool huh? I can use a pocket dimension to exchange my current armor with another one."
"Yeah, that's pretty awesome," Jason said, looking it over. "Where would I get one of those?" he asked, putting his own armor back into his pocket.
"I could make one for you, but that takes out the feeling of success when you use something you make in battle. There is also the possibility that you aren't worthy of this. For instance, I couldn't pick up that hammer if I tried, and this armor would most likely crush you," said Jacob with a small amount of seriousness.
"Well, Odin thought I was worthy enough to inherit his power," Jason responded, "but I'd rather not take the risk, I got kids back home."
"Ah parenthood. How is it?" Inquired Jacob.
"Good, though Rarity and Chrysalis are at each other's throats."
"Pregnancy, or other reasons?" asked Jacob.
"Rarity is pregnant and she's getting on Chrissy's nerves. I've never heard them argue that much before. It's headache inducing."
"In that case, you need these much more than I do," said Jacob before pulling out odd looking earplugs. "These will block out ALL sound. And I literally mean that." Jacob handed them to Jason before saying, "Do you want to continue with the tour?"
"Let's," Jason said, flashing a smile.
The next door that they came across was a ridiculously large door. "This is where Bubbles, a 'monster' that I raised sleeps. It is getting close to winter and she is in hibernation. I recommend that we don't walk in. She is not exactly happy in the mornings."
"What kind of monster?" Jason asked, stopping in front of the door.
"Ursa Minor," Jacob said. "Despite common belief, they are actually quite intelligent." He seemed to smile at that. "She wrote me a poem when she was six and I was sick. Didn't have the heart to tell her that it was already written."
"Huh, I figured they would only be usable with the Nemetrix..." Jason muttered, stroking his chin.
"Would you like to hear it? Or would you prefer that we go the next room, I.E. the gallery." said Jacob.
"Let's keep going," he said, gesturing forward.
"Alright." The duo then made their way into an ornate dining room. "Want anything?"
"No thank you, I'm good," Jason said, shaking his head.
"Fine then. Next up is the library." The pair walked into a library that dwarfed Twilight's. "There is also a secret in here, find the switch and it will show you a room of pure archeological and scientific perfection."
"I see," Jason said, nodding. "Your Twilight get her castle yet?"
"Nah, last time I checked, I was in season 2. I think that Hearth's Warming Eve is coming up." Jacob replied. "I also plan on getting my revenge on Sombra and Celestia. Celestia at the wedding, and Sombra when his empire of hatred returns."
"Why are you getting revenge on Celestia?" Jason asked, an edge creeping into his voice.
"I think that it would be best if I showed you, rather than tell you." He flew over to an obscure book labeled 'Secret' and pulled on it, causing the fireplace to extend and open to reveal a ladder. Jacob went down the ladder. "You coming?!"
"Yes, I'm coming," Jason said, jumping down the ladder and looking around.
What Jason saw was something that would drive most people insane. It looked like he was in a kaleidoscope filled with an array of memories of multiple colors flying around. Jacob then cleared his throat. "This is known as my time room. It allows me to watch all of my memories like movies. Be they of peaceful times," He pulled out a yellow plate that had a much younger version of himself being enthusiastic with a group of his students. He was bouncing from desk to desk, pointing to various points on a timeline with a cane. "Sad times," The next one showed a roughly ten year old Jacob in a black suit standing over a grave. The grave read, 'Here lies Dawn, Mother, Nurse, and loving wife.' "or many other types of memories."
"Dear Yggdrasil, this place is giving me a headache..." Jason groaned, rubbing his forehead in pain.
"I'll ignore that." said Jacob before pulling out a memory of long ago.
"I think that it would be best if I do some narration. You see, I arrived here roughly 1010 years ago. I met a pegasus mare by the name of Surprise. She ran a theatre in Pegasopolis, or Cloudsdale, take your pick, while I wrote plays or musicals that were based on books or movies from back home. For ten years, our antics with the citizens drew us closer and closer. She even adopted me as her older brother. We then had an idea to go to the Crystal Empire for some skiing and other winter activities. Little did we know, Celestia was having a secret war with Sombra. I guess that the reason for secrecy was because she didn't want to cause panic. Anyway, we flew there for a while and we saw a battle taking place. We both noticed that the Crystal Ponies were being turned into creatures that belong in Tartarus or something like that. Donning suits ripped straight out of Naruto, we snuck into the main observatory where Sombra was. We asked him to make the battle fair, and he called Surprise a whore, in pony terms, at least. I got pissed and charged at him. Sombra's first move was encasing Surprise in a dark magical crystal. We had a fight filled with passion and hate, until Sombra pulled out a corrupted crystal heart and ejected me out of the empire, then he, the crystal ponies, and the empire, disappeared into a pocket dimension. I helped any wounded ponies that I could back to the closest base and then flew home, only to find guards at my doorstep telling me to go to Canterlot for a trial for my 'destruction' of the crystal ponies and the Crystal Empire." The memory then faded, causing Jacob to sigh and pull out another one. "Damn two-parters," he mumbled under his breath.
"And you want revenge on her for the trial?" he asked, holding his head.
"Not quite. She could have just arrested me on the spot and had me executed. The thing is though, the trial was rigged," said Jacob before tapping the next memory. "When I got to the Castle, I was bound, gagged, and given a toddler as a defence attorney. The other thing was Luna was the Prosecutor and all the witnesses were nobles who weren't even there. The trial was over in five minutes and I was sentenced to be trapped in stone for all eternity. I am mad at Celestia because she treated me like an animal and a joke, disrespected both my and Surprise's good names, and because I could not say what actually happened!" He had a look on his face that was of unbridled fury.
"Look," Jason started, straightening up, "I'm not going to defend her but, sometimes leaders have to do horrible things to keep their country safe."
"I know that, which is why I will use political revenge instead of gory revenge. Do you want to go back to the library so I can explain? You seem to be in pain," he explained with a worried look.
"Sounds like a good idea to me," Jason said, climbing up the ladder, then collapsing into one of the chairs.
Jacob climbed out as well and closed the hole back up. "Note to self, next time that I show guests that, bring sunglasses." He cleared his throat, getting Jason's attention. "The plan is simple, yet clever. Step one, I escape from stone hell. Check. Step two, I gain the other two countries that are not under Celestia's rule's respect as well as admiration for being a generous innovator who makes the common being's life as well as the noble's life easier. Check. Step three, I gain the support and respect of at least two of the Elements of Harmony. Step four, I wait until a day when I can look like the brave and kind knight that I see myself as. Example – A Canterlot Wedding. Step five, I use steps two through four to get Celestia to publicly apologize to me, thus showing the truth. Step six, forgive Celestia and help Equestria. Step seven, Celebrate that steps one through six worked. Any questions?"
"Nope just... Try not to hurt Chrysalis..." Jason spoke, giving his head a good shake.
"I promise that I will not harm the Queen, though I cannot say the same for any drone that attacks me or anyone close to me. Cross my heart, and If I lie, I will slowly and painfully die." His eyes glowed blue for a second. "I might try to set up negotiations though."
"Good," Jason said with a smile, "I hope it goes well. Now... I think I should be heading home..." he said with a yawn, "I'm exhausted..."
"Before you go, I have to ask, are you capable of splicing DNA with that?" he said, pointing to the Omnitrix.
"Yes... yes I am... interested?"
"Can't say that I'm not." said Jacob.
"What did you want?"
Jacob started thinking aloud. "While I wouldn't mind Big Chill's ability to go through walls, fly, and freeze things, Grey Matter's intelligence and Upgrade's interfacing and upgrading abilities would be more useful. Can I get all three, or do I have to pick one?".
"Only one and no, you can't get Upgrade, that form is iffy as it is," Jason said, shaking his head.
Jacob sighed, "Fine. I'll take Big Chill's. I am already classified as a level twelve intellect anyway."
"Omnitrix, splice target human with Necrofriggian DNA, please," Jason commanded.
"Affirmative," It chirped, hitting Jacob with a blast of green energy.
Jacob then phased out of his suit and flew. "I can get used to this. Here." He then handed Jason a red gear with an arc reactor in it. You can use this to call me when you want, it also works as an infinite source of clean energy."
"Thanks," Jason said, nodding his head. "Welp, send me back."
"By the way, I am planning a huge winter festival at my main fortress in a week. You are more than welcome to come and bring two guests," offered Jacob.
"Just give me a call, I imagine it'll be a fun night out with the spouses," Jason said with a smile.
"Until then, our contract is complete. Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm gonna go for a test flight," he said before turning invisible and diving through the floor.
Jason rolled his eyes, vanishing in a burst of light, his token falling to the ground.
