//------------------------------// // Mono-Genders Are So Mainstream // Story: Chaos and the Apple // by Evowizard25 //------------------------------// Ah can’t remember the last time ah was so happy while buckin’. Maybe it was just a few weeks ago, but there was something different this time. Somethin’ that made me feel like ah was glowin’. Can’t put my hoof on it really. It’s just that ah ain’t so stressed ‘bout everythin’. It’s just me and my work and ah was fine with that. At least, right now. It was family game night. That and, well, Discord was supposed to come over. He promised. Ah reckon he’s why ah’m so happy. Darn varmint’s tryin’ to butter me up fer somethin’, but ah don’t care. Not really. Ah still want to buck him to kingdom come, but ah was thankful he won me over. He just made me feel pretty and wanted in the ‘special somepony’ sense. Never felt this before. It’s strange. That’s when ah heard his strange humming from afar. Ah had to smile at the random country tune. Speak of the daemon and he’ll appear. That’s what my granny always said. Well that and ‘Don’t feed trolls. They’ll just keep comin’ back fer more.’ Never met a troll ‘fore. Don’t plan on it. Now normally ah’d go up and greet anyone walkin’ in my orchard. That’s the neighborly thin’ to do, but my coltfriend prefered to greet me first. Ah didn’t have a problem with it. Gave me just a bit more time to ready myself. Callin’ him my ‘coltfriend’ still feels odd and this whole thing might take time to get used to. He seemed fine with it and ah really loved that about him. When ah heard him stop just a couple hoof lengths from me, ah turned around. “Took ya….” My eyes widened as ah saw what he was wearin’. “Why are ya wearin’ a dress?” Not just any kind of dress. One of those bright pink ‘frou-frou’ dresses my rich cousins usually wear. Kind of like the ones the Appaloosa mares wear, if’n ah remember their ball dresses. They’re alright, but they make dancin’ a bit harder than ah’d like. Discord just snorted, twirlin’ his pink umbrella in his fingers. “Why can’t I wear a dress? It’s a perfectly good day for one.” Seemed a bit too hot fer one in my opinion, but this was Discord. His reasonin’s never made much sense to me. Well, sometimes they did but that’s only cause ah have to. He’s my coltfriend after all. “T’was nothin’ against wearin’ it. Ah just….well it’s kind of strange seein’ a guy in a dress,” ah chuckled, shakin’ my head. “But yer a strange kind of guy, so ah shouldn’t be surprised.” Discord rolled his eyes, but smiled. “Indeed I am and I fear the day I’m not. Normalcy may well be good for you, but for me it would be a death sentence. Besides, a man can wear a dress the same as a woman can wear a suit. I never cared either way what I wore, or what gender it’s made for. I could go either way really.” Ah nodded. “Sure, whatever suits yer fancy.” Discord’s grin turned mischievous. “Whatever suits my fancy indeed. I wonder what suits yours.” He stroked his beard, pullin’ out a fan out from his hairs to cool himself off. Ah quirked an eyebrow. “What are ya gettin’ at?” Ah didn’t like where this was goin’. That grin of his never turned out well fer me. Ah just want to stomp him into the dirt, but he just makes me love him more. How? This ‘love’ thin’ really is frustratin’. “Well my dearest Applejack,” Discord toss the umbrella behind him, which turned into an apple tree. Thank goodness fer that. The last umbrella turned into a Whompin’ Willow, if’n ah remember Twilight callin’ it that right. Wasn’t fun dealin’ with a tree tryin’ to kill ya. ‘Course he did that before we were together, so ah won’t begrudge him now. “You have no problem with what I wear or how I act. In fact, you seem to think your coltfriend wearing a dress is perfectly acceptable.” “And?” Ah frowned, narrowin’ my eyes. “Well,” Discord curled around me, his dress flashin’ into a Sherclop Holmes kind of thin’. He puffed on a pipe, which made pink bubbles. “Obviously that only leads to one conclusion.” “Are ya implyin’ something’?” Ah growled, stompin’ my hoof. “Just spit it out already.” Discord chuckled and he placed his muzzle underneath my own. He hummed and nuzzled me, causin’ me to giggle. It felt nice just bein’ close. Maybe he’d forget what he was tryin’ to say. “I’m just saying that this opens up a few doors, if you know what I mean?” His voice was wrong. It sounded so...so feminine. Ah pulled back to see Discord….but he was a girl. My mouth fell open. “What...What...but…” Discord giggled, which sounded so wrong now that he was a she. “Cat got your tongue?” He, or she, wasn’t wearin’ anythin’ like he, she, usually did. That didn’t help things. “Discord, what are ya doin’?” Discord pouted. “Nothing too drastic. It’s just a sex change is all.” The way she said it was like it meant nothin’ at all to her. The shrug certainly helped. “Ah can see that,” ah snorted. “But why’d ya do it?” “Well I thought about how you don’t care if I wear a dress,” Discord pointed out. “Now you see, gender never really meant much to me. Oh I do prefer being male, but that’s just because I was born one. Even with preference, I don’t care if I’m a girl or a boy. There really isn’t much of a difference.” “And just cause ah don’t care what ya wear, yer a girl?” Ah...but...What goes through that varmint’s head? Discord nodded. “Of course. Isn’t it obvious?” “No,” ah shook my head. “No it isn’t.” “How odd,” Discord tapped her chin, teleportin’ each time she did it. That is, until she was sittin’ by my side. “I thought it would be rather clear to you, but alas, my mind is incomprehensible.” She leaned over me and sniffed. “Oh woe is me.” Ah rolled my eyes. “Get off me.” “No,” she giggled and nibbled my ear. Ah yelped and dashed off, givin’ us some space. “Oh come on. A little fun won’t hurt.” Ah snorted. “Change back.” “Don’t be like that, my dear Applejack.” Discord purred. She swam in the air around me. “I know you ponies are always nervous when trying new things. I’ll be gently.” “Could ya stop fer a moment and listen to me?” Ah stomped the ground, shakin’ it. “Stop this nonsense and change back.” “Oooh~” Discord put a claw to his mouth. “You’re playing hard to get. I like that.” He made a little scratching motion with a paw and a cat noise. “I can fix that.” With that, ah wasn’t in the orchard anymore. Now ah was in a dimly lit room filled with candles and a large bed with...with...girl Discord in lingerie. “Now, how about we get comfortable~” Darn it, ya blasted varmint! He, SHE, was makin’ me blush from all this. Ah don’t swing that way. He’s an idiot fer not realin’ that. “How about ah buck yer face in.” “As delightful as that sounds,” she was still grinnin’ at me. “I think I’ve been goin’ about this the wrong way.” “Ya mean ya will change back?” Ah quirked an eyebrow. That was easy. It usually took a bit longer to get him to do what ah wanted. “That can be saved for later,” Discord thrust a claw into the air with a lightbulb appearin’ over it. “I’ll simply change you.” ……”Say what?” Discord giggled and jumped to her feet. She started hoppin’ about, clappin’ her paws. “It’s so simple. I’ll just change your gender and then-” “NOOOOOOOOO!” Ah screamed and made a dash fer the door. Ah never made it, since ah smashed into Discord’s tail instead. Didn’t hurt really, but it was still jarring. She laughed and everythin’ seemed to wobble as though it was water. The whole scene changed back into the orchard. “You actually thought I’d change your gender like that?” Discord was a he again from the sound of it. His mockin’ laughter made me see red. “Ohohoho, priceless. Your face was priceless.” Ah growled and grabbed his tail. Swingin’ it, ah had a bit of satisfaction of seein’ him smash into the ground. “Ya blasted varmint.” Discord sat up and chuckled. He just shrugged. “What can I say? I love teasing you. Besides, we can always work on it later.” “We ain’t,” ah marched up and poked him in the chest. “Ah like ya the way ya are, Discord. Don’t change that.” Discord blinked in confusion. Then he gently brushed his claw across my cheek. Ah couldn’t but lean into it, but ah kept him still with a fierce glare. “And that’s what I love about you. Well, that and how fun it is to tease you as well. Haven’t had this much enjoyment in eons.” Ah snorted. “Ah’m glad yer havin’ fun.” Discord kissed my nose, causin’ me to blush and freeze up. “I would never force you into doing anything you didn’t want to do. Never.” He said it with such conviction that ah just had to believe him. “O-okay,” ah gulped, fightin’ off my blush. Ah hate how flustered he makes me. “But you have to admit,” he winked at me. “I did look drop dead gorgeous as a woman.” “If’n ya say so,” ah snorted. Maybe he looked rather pretty. Okay, he was. Ah’m not goin’ to tell him. He’d just keep changin’ into a girl and ah don’t need that complicatin’ our relationship. “I do say so,” Discord teleported over to an apple tree and tapped it with his claws. All the apples fell into the buckets perfectly. “Now, shall we start?” “Yer helpin’?” Ah asked. It wasn’t like he never tried to help me. It’s just...it doesn’t usually work out and he always tries to get me out of work. Discord chuckled. “My dear Applejack, of course I am. I wouldn’t be a good coltfriend if I just let you do all the work. Besides, I have to repay you for all the teasing...Even if you secretly enjoyed it.” “Did not,” ah growled, makin’ sure he got my message to drop it. “Perhaps not now,” Discord shot me a challengin’ smirk as his tail split into three and knocked the apples out of three other trees. “But perhaps sometime in the future. I told you I’m not picky on genders.” Ah shook my head and went back to work. Discord is Discord. Ah have to try and understand him even if ah don’t want to. He was my coltfriend and that meant ah had to put up with whatever he tried. Ah just made sure to remind myself to give him a good buck whenever he came close today.