I lifted Cadance’s head just enough to slip a second pillow under it, then drew the bedsheet up and tucked it snugly under her chin.
She’d been so poised and controlled, walking back in from the balcony after enchanting Luna’s sunset, but the second her head hit the pillow, she slipped into dreamland. I pondered the stories about how she protected the Empire from Sombra for days without sleeping: that had to say volumes about the vast power she’d just expended. For me, it had been negligible: I was but a node through which Luna could connect to Princess Cadance.
My eyes wandered across the contours of the shallow-breathing Princess until I realised my impropriety. That sunset, it... did things. The window offered me a safe place to level my gaze; the moon still looked brighter, and perhaps a little larger, than usual. Whether that was an empirical fact or a side-effect of Cadance’s complex evocation was impossible to know.
After a long stare, I turned towards the room’s exit, but before taking a step, I instead leaned over the bed and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. Just one day in her presence had taught me that she’d find my hesitation quaint – even comical. She was open, and emotional, in a way I found hard to be comfortable with.
“I’ll bet Luna will be by to say ‘thank you’ before the sun comes back up,” I said, and finally turned towards the doors to find Shining Armour standing there – and not looking pleased.
Think on your hooves, soldier! What would Vanilla say? Or Glory?
“It looks like I tired your wife out.” I smirked and made a casual gesture towards the Princess that came more naturally that I expected. Probably the sunset. It certainly didn’t feel much like me.
Shining Armour didn’t flinch.
Commit! Show no fear!
“For what it’s worth, she was phenomenal.”
I made for the door, dropping my head just enough to break eye contact and forcing a light chuckle. Even Celestia was amenable to some mild smut as long as long as it was reserved for an appropriate audience; I just had to carry it with the unabashed confidence of my peers.
I glanced back at Cadance to buy myself a little time, then looked up, staring point-blank into Shining Armour’s face. Rarely am I so glad of my taller, aristocratic stock.
I grinned.
So did he.
“So, the wet-behind-the-ears graduate from Celestia’s School finally grew a spine.” Shining Armour lifted a hoof and tapped me on the cheek. “About time, Silverlight. Come on, let’s leave her to sleep it off.”
I have no idea if he saw the tension suddenly work its way out of my musculature, but we walked into the corridor side by side and my ex-captain drew the doors shut behind us. We fell into military lock-step easily. I wasn’t sure if it was from nerves, or it was perfectly natural and I was overthinking it. The latter definitely sounded more like me.
“You know that was cheating, right?” he asked, shooting me an accusatory glance.
“Cheating?” I stopped, placed a hoof dramatically on my chest, and summoned my best rendition of Vanilla’s overly-offended oration. “Why I will have you know that the opposing team merely failed to properly explore the limitations of the rules.”
“Was Princess Celestia even aware that outside help was allowed?”
I smirked. “You might not be getting your new orphanage if she did. Besides, do you really think Celestia will mind? Luna will be revelling in her victory by now, Celestia will be enjoying Luna’s happiness, and ponies across Equestria will be cuddling up with their significant others.”
“And kissing other ponies’ wives.”
“Ahh, heh.” I cleared my throat. Twice. “You know that’s out of deepest respect, right?”
Shining Armour resumed his marching rhythm, and I fell back into lockstep, silent. As we descended a long staircase, he looked deep in thought, only speaking up after we’d turned into a new corridor.
“Yeah, I know, Silver. You were one of the most honourable ponies in the guard, but you used to carry it like a shield. It’s not that I don’t think you would do anything inappropriate with my wife, I don’t think you could.” We stopped in front of another set of double doors and Shining Armour hung a leg across my shoulders. “My baby sister, on the other hoof—”
“Woah, hold on there, Captain.”
“Does talking about Twily make you nervous?”
It always makes me nervous. I hate it. “When I’m standing next to her older brother who used to be my superior officer, and is married to a princess whose kingdom I’m standing in, yes, it really does.” Not to mention that my baser desires had been somewhat inflated by whatever enchantment Cadance had woven.
Shining Armour slapped me on the back and withdrew his hoof.
“That’s why I like you, Silverlight. You didn’t even think to deny it. Honourable to the core. But you can’t hold it against a big brother for keeping an eye out, so I figure I’ll just make you squirm for a bit and we’ll call it even. Okay?”
He pushed the door open. Inside, on what must have been the curved outer wall of the palace, was a double life-size mural of a grinning, bright-eyed Twilight Sparkle, overlooking a sumptuous guest room.
“Oh, you son of a—”
“Language!” Shining Armour gave me a playful shove. “You wouldn’t want to be heard talking like that when Twilight shows up, would you?”
“What? Twilight’s here?”
“Of course.” He looked at me with an insufferably smug, self-satisfied grin. “You have to understand, my phenomenal wife has a habit of matchmaking. But it’s okay. After all, you wouldn’t dream of doing anything inappropriate, right?”
I declined to answer. Incessant ribbing from my so-called comrades was one thing, but only Luna had gone so far as to intentionally place us in a room together – for a three-week project, no less. Until now. Lucky for me that Twilight seems oblivious to my discomfort. Thank the Princesses for small mercies. Thank Celestia, at least – the others were clearly out to embarrass me.
“Artemis,” I muttered, pushing the second door wide open. Slow-burning indignation fuelled my hoofsteps as I strode into the room, but I kept my face as calm as I could manage, lest Shining Armour find one bit more satisfaction than he already had. “Has to be Artemis. I swear by Star Swirl’s beard I am going to tie her wings together and shove her off a balcony as soon as I get back to Canterlot.”
Some days, I wished I were that kind of pony, but if I were, I wouldn’t have this life of mine. This Silverlight, the real one, was just going to have to suck it up and make do, as he always did. Some Paladin I am: I can stare down the worst of Luna’s tantrums, but one mare several years my junior makes my guts feel like pulped pumpkin.
“Prince Shining Armour,” boomed a voice that I knew all too well. “What in Tartaurus is this I hear about my own brother using me to make Silverlight uncomfortable? How dare you!”
“Twily, I—”
“Don’t you Twily me!” Twilight stormed straight up to Shining Armour and jabbed her nose up against his. “Please, for the love of Celestia, tell me it isn’t true.”
“It’s just—”
“I don’t believe this!” Twilight pushed past him and stomped into the room. “My own brother!”
Her horn lit and the doors slammed shut.
“Ow,” came a muffled voice outside.
Twilight turned instantly on her fetlocks and yelled at the door, “Well maybe you shouldn’t stick it where it doesn’t belong!”
I made a mental note to recite that line to Cadance, later. Meanwhile, Twilight stamped a hoof and snorted; I can’t deny she is still adorable when she’s trying to be angry.
“Well that was—”
“What?” Twilight spun in place to face me again before something clicked in her mind and all that furor disappeared in a literal blink. “Oh! I’m so sorry. I got a little carried away.”
“Unexpected,” I finished. She gave me that bashful grin of hers and for a moment I remembered why I feel the way I do: she’s so immature. It’s really a shame. Nevertheless, the pause allowed the tension in the atmosphere to dissipate, and when Twilight spoke, she sounded like her usual self again.
“So… umm, is it true?”
“Is what true?” I replied. I knew very well what, of course, but I’ve learned the hard way not to let conversations start with vagueries: Luna’s a sly old dog when she wants an excuse to play the victim. Plus, it pushed the answer I didn’t really want to give back by a few more seconds.
“Is it true that I make you uncomfortable? It’s just that Spike said—”
“Ahh,” I interrupted. Twilight immediately furrowed her brows; I was sure she didn’t understand the link. “Spike’s crush has been a touchy subject for him. It makes sense that he’d speak up if he thought somepony else’s was being treated disrespectfully.”
“You didn’t answer the question,” she replied bluntly. I was glad that our rapport hadn’t waned.
“Quite right.” I sucked down a deep breath. “Yes. It’s true. And my ever-helpful compatriots hold back very little when it comes to using it against me. It seems that your brother has now been added to the list of provocateurs – and possibly Princess Cadance.”
I’d hoped that Twilight would finally put two and two together, but she didn’t. Or at least, her thoughtful expression said that she was still mulling the puzzle over.
“Spike and I had some common ground to talk about whenever we took a break from studying,” I continued. “We talked about Rarity a lot, and how much it meant to him that she was taking his feelings seriously.”
“Yeah,” Twilight replied, nodding. “They’ve been spending so much time together lately; it’s like I barely talk to him at all. He seemed so much happier at first, but now... I don’t know.”
“Oh?” I should have just ended the game there and then, but the diversion was just too easy not to take. “Is the little guy feeling down?”
Twilight’s face scrunched up. Hard.
“I’m not sure. He seems so distant. I knew something was wrong the moment one of the staff told me you and Shiny were down here; he got all grouchy and I had to really push him to tell me what was up.”
“And you came down here to confront Shining Armour without really knowing what was ‘up’?” At that moment, I had a brainwave. “Maybe you could ask Spike to join us?”
“Do you think it will help?”
“He’ll talk.” I threw up a salute. “Paladin’s honour.”
She looked up, then teleported away. Another trick she could do that I couldn’t, even though I’d matched her test scores at Celestia’s school. I climbed onto the absurdly large bed and made myself comfortable, and the two of them poofed into existence just a few moments later. Sure enough, Spike looked like he carried the weight of the world on his little shoulders.
“Hey, Spike.”
“Hey, Silver.”
“Do I get a hug?”
His face brightened. I couldn’t help but think of Luna: she was exactly like a child in so many ways. For every thoughtless comment that hurt her, we had to get two dozen things right. We, the Paladins, had to be the ones to ask how she was feeling. We had to show her our vulnerabilities before she could be comfortable showing us hers. Get those things wrong and she could throw a tantrum like nopony would believe, but when we learned to get them right, she was out best friend, confidant, and greatest cheerleader all rolled into one. I never imagined her as broken, as some do, just as relearning it all over again – trying to be better.
Looking at Spike, I remember how weird it felt the first time I addressed the prickly topic of hugging princesses. If I asked if she wanted one, she might take it as an accusation of weakness, but if I asked if I could get one from her, she might think of it as making demands. I wound myself up so tight that Thunderer actually pulled me aside and had to talk me through it, but really he only told me to trust my instincts. The next day I just explained to Luna why it was troubling me and she completely understood. I think she was even fortified by my fretting.
Actual children are a cakewalk by comparison.
He dashed across the floor and up onto the bed, where I wrapped a leg around him and gave him a big squeeze.
“Now,” I said, releasing him. “What’s up?”
“I just thought… were they being mean to you, Silver?”
“Awww.” I ruffled his spines with a hoof. “Thanks for thinking about me, Spike. I appreciate that – I really do. They were, and I’m fine, thank you, but that isn’t what I was asking about.”
Spike’s shoulders slouched. He knew, all right.
“It’s nothing,” he said.
“That’s an awful lot of nothing you’re carrying, kid. Shall I ask Twilight to leave so the boys can talk alone?”
“No!” Spike’s reply was more than enthusiastic: it was almost desperate. “I mean, it’s just silly…”
“Silly? Or large, white, and Rarity-shaped?”
Spike’s habit of fiddling with his claws gave the game away immediately, but I held my tongue and waited for him to find his.
“It’s just…” His gaze lingered on Twilight’s face before he turned back to me. “What if… I don’t love her as much as I thought I did?”
“What?” Twilight said. “Spike, you’re—”
“Objection! The gallery not to badger the witness!” I waved my hoof at her like a proper lawyer. Her wrinkled nose, heavy frown, and pursed lips said that she didn’t like that one bit, but I wasn’t about to be moved on the subject. “Now, Spike, please continue. What makes you say that?”
Again, he took a long look at Twilight before he spoke.
“Well… I thought I wanted to be around her. Since she said she wasn’t going to leave me again, I kept asking for more and more time, and she always said yes. Well, almost always; if she couldn’t, she always explained why, and I didn’t mind. But lately… I keep thinking that I’d…”
I gently put a hoof on his back. he had that weight-of-the-world weariness to him again.
“Take your time, kid.”
“I keep thinking... I’d rather be with Twilight.”
I smiled. So did Twilight, naturally. It took me a few seconds to replay the conversation mentally and make the connection.
“So you think that wanting to spend more time with Twilight means you care about Rarity less?” Spike nodded.
“Well… yeah. Doesn’t it?”
“No way.” I exaggerated my pronunciation to make the point stick. “Listen. When my mother wants to embarrass me, she talks about how I used to insist on sleeping with her every night. I’d throw tantrums if I couldn’t feel her against me as I fell asleep. I was almost three before I would sleep on my own. I can still remember wanting to be more grown up. But I look back and see that, when the light went out, my mother was still in here.”
I tapped my chest, right over my heart.
“Rarity made you a promise, and you tested it. Sounds like it didn’t take you long to work out that she’d always be there for you. I suppose Rarity’s like your very own Paladin: she’ll always listen to you and support you, but only so long as you respect her in return. It’s just like Shining Armour had Princess Cadance pushing him on to become captain of the guard, and just like how Luna came by every other day while I was collaborating with Twilight, just to ask how I was feeling. We all need somepony – or dragon – that we trust, whether that’s a princess, a spouse, or a best friend. I bet if Rarity needed you, you’d be back at her side in a heartbeat.”
“Of course!”
I think Spike surprised himself with the intensity of his answer; the joy on his face flattened out as his mind turned inward.
“Spike, I think you love her more than ever. I think you’re just growing up; it happens to the best of us, I’m afraid. Now, Spike, meet Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, meet Spike the dragon. I think you two have some things to talk about, so I’ll excuse myself.”
I stepped off the bed and headed to the door while Twilight took my place and wrapped Spike in a big cuddle. It was always amazing how simple problems could be quickly solved just by talking things through. It just took a little practice and a bit of faith in one’s self.
“Oh, wait. Silverlight?” Twilight said.
I winced. I was already halfway out the door, but I backed up to look her in the eye.
“Yes, Twilight?”
“I don’t get it. Why did Luna come to see you while we were working together?”
I’d almost gotten away with it, but my old nemesis wasn’t so easily cast aside.
“Ahh… Well, I…” Suddenly, I had another brainwave. “You know, I think Spike can probably explain that best.” Spike would enjoy the chance to explain the situation as a third party, rather than the subject. It was also a fantastic dodge – something I could be ashamed and proud of in equal measure. “Enjoy!” I said, dipping through the door and shutting it behind me.
Trotting down the hall, I heard the shriek of ‘What?’ come from the room. I swallowed to clear the sudden dryness in my throat. There was no escaping that conversation now, but it could wait until tomorrow. No doubt Luna would rake me over the coals for that little maneuver, but sometimes it’s just nice to be reminded that she cares.
None of us are perfect, after all.
