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Super Smash Bros: Disharmony
by Dusty the Royal Janitor
Chapter 7 - Restless Respite
The crowd went crazy with thunderous applause as Link staggered to his feet in the grove below, holding up his sword in triumph. The three little ponies sat stupefied by the incredible display of might as the other contestants all roared and cheered wildly around them. The three of them looked between each other before Twilight too found herself stomping the ground in applause, followed by a hesitant Applejack and Fluttershy.
In the ring below, Link staggered as the glowing energy that had empowered him to vanquish Samus faded and his injuries and poisoning reasserted themselves. Still, the hero managed to flash a winning grin at the audience and artfully swing his sword around for them before striking a victory pose with a mighty “Hyaaah!”
Twilight winced as she noticed Link grimacing through his pose and swaying back and forth on his feet. She was just about to turn to Zelda to ask if he would be alright when she felt the world go sideways again and her body seemed to be ripped apart, atom by atom, only to be instantly rearranged again elsewhere. The purple unicorn stumbled on her hooves and shook herself as the teleportation sickness quickly wore off. Her vision coming back into focus, she looked around to see that she’d been teleported back into the Acropolis’ great hall, her friends all gathered around her and shaking off their own dizziness. Also nearby were Mario and Zelda, the two of them and most of the other contestants scattered about the room seeming to be unaffected by the sudden transport.
The room behind Twilight suddenly burst into more cheering. The unicorn turned to see what the fuss was about, watching as several of the contestants backed up in a circle around Link and Samus, the latter of whom had been restored to flesh and blood beneath her armor. Link, however, still looked nauseous and dizzy from the fight.
“Is he going to be alright?” Fluttershy asked as Zelda approached the trio.
“Poisoning is new to the Smash tournament,” the princess said with a slight frown. “Nothing should come from it. The Master wouldn’t permanently harm one of his contestants. He’ll likely feel ill for a while but... I don’t believe there’s any reason to worry,” Zelda muttered, her voice wavering a little, causing Twilight to glance in her direction with a raised eyebrow. The princess noticed the unicorn’s attentions and cleared her throat. “Nevertheless, perhaps he should go to see the doctor. Better to be sure, after all.”
Mario shrugged. “We’ll leave that up to him.”
On the other side of the room, congratulations were being granted on Link’s victory, while Samus received condolences and ‘better-luck-next-times.’ Link stood on his unsteady feet, waving at the other contenders while Samus just clapped disinterestedly in Link’s direction.
Link turned around and flashed a pained but friendly smile at Samus, holding a gloved hand out to her. “Hep!” he managed to grunt.
Samus froze for a second, her fist clenching briefly, only for it to release again moments later as her whole posture seemed to relax a little. Finally, Samus reached out with her armored hand and took Link’s in hers, shaking it firmly.
“Yeah, yeah. Good fight, Lunkhead.”
Link grinned good-naturedly before turning again at the sound of clopping hooves coming up behind him.
“Link!” Fluttershy said, trotting right up to the green-clad hero. “Are you alright? You don’t look well.”
Link smiled sheepishly and patted Fluttershy on the head with a weak nod. The action caused him to stumble a little, though, forcing the pegasus to support him to keep him from falling over.
“Oh dear…” Fluttershy said, doing her best to support Link’s weight while he regained his balance. “Come on, we need to get you to that doctor Mario was talking about.
“Assuming he’s not playing things up again,” Zelda huffed irritably, grabbing Link’s wrist. “He’s been known to do that.”
Fluttershy blinked. “But you were the one who just said–”
“Oh I’m taking him to the doctor,” Zelda grumbled, beginning to drag Link off. “I’m just saying he has a tendency to play up the truth of the matter.”
Link scowled and wrenched his hand away from the princess. The two Hylians glared venomously at each other, though the effect was lessened somewhat by Link’s swaying.
Fluttershy trotted up alongside Link, placing a hoof on his leg. “Please Link? It’s better to be sure you’re okay, right?”
Link didn’t bother to look down at Fluttershy, but visibly slumped, caving into her request. Gathering himself up, he walked unsteadily toward the back of the hall, pointedly walking past Zelda without sparing her a glance. The princess scowled and turned away, storming silently off elsewhere into the Great Hall.
Meanwhile, Twilight and Applejack trotted up to Samus as the huntress removed her helmet, shaking her long blonde hair out.
“Are you alright, Samus?” Twilight asked.
“That was quite a licking you took,” Applejack commented.
Samus’ lip curled for a moment, only for the huntress to take a deep breath and relax. “Yeah, fine,” she grumbled. “The only thing that took a licking is my pride,” she said, staring across the room at a hunched, purple dragon giving her an evil, toothy grin. Growling, she tore her eyes away from the monster and turned back to the ponies. “Link gonna be okay?”
Twilight nodded. “Mario and Zelda say he should be fine.”
Samus grunted in response. “Good,” she muttered, before looking down pointedly at the two of them. “Word of advice: when it’s your turn, don’t fight angry. Good as it might feel to blow off steam, it doesn’t do any favors for you in the ring.”
“Izzat what got you in trouble down there?” Applejack asked, cocking her head. “Y’all seemed pretty riled up before the fight started. What went and crawled up your armor, gal?”
Samus looked hesitant for a minute, eventually opening her mouth to answer only to be cut off by a high pitched shrieking.
“For the love of everything, will somebody please tell me what in Farore’s name is going on here?!”
The chatter and noise in the Great Hall suddenly died as the gathered contestants all looked up to see a glowing purple fairy darting around the upper levels of the room, glaring down at them with a panicked fury.
Samus grimaced and let out an exasperated huff.
“Shit.”
* * *
The festivities quickly broke up after the fairy’s interruption. A number of the contestants, including Zelda, Luigi, Peach, quickly ushered the angry little sprite away from the main room, while others like Fox and Captain Falcon took the moment to suggest things to do around the Acropolis to all the newer contestants. In minutes, most of the confused contestants had lost interest and all gone about their business or gone to check out the various games and other activities that had been recommended like the Home-Run contest, the target range, or other activities that had appeared in the Smashworld outside the Acropolis, like the Mushroom Kingdom Kart Tracks.
Samus, on the other hand, had declared herself “Too tired to deal with any of that BS,” and had followed Link’s path out of the hall towards the doctor’s office. Along the way, the huntress shed her armor, leaving her in her dark blue, midriff-exposing tank top and shorts, and combat boots. The strange ridge of pointed teeth on her arm twitched and flexed, thankful to be free of the confines of the power armor. Meanwhile, the three little ponies chose to follow her to the doctor’s office. Zelda had seemed insistent that none of them follow her to deal with the fairy, and none of them were quite confident enough to wander off on their own without a guide they were comfortable with yet.
Eventually, the three ponies found themselves at the doctor’s office, staring at what was perhaps the oddest sight they’d seen since they got there… which was saying something.
Link sat on a table, his boots, gloves, belt, and gear all removed and sitting on the floor. His green heavy tunic with chainmail lining was draped over a chair in the corner, leaving him only in a pale, off-white undershirt and a set of tights that wrapped around the arch of his feet. Sitting in another chair off to the side was Mario, dressed normally and flipping through a magazine titled “Plumber’s Weekly” with articles ranging from “how your plunger is actually damaging your pipes” to “top ten monkey wrenches of 2014.”
It was the other figure present that gave the ponies pause.
It was Mario. Or rather, it was somebody that looked exactly like Mario, from his brown, shaggy hair, to his large blue eyes, to his oversized nose, to his bushy black moustache. He was the same height and had the same stature as the Mario they knew, though he seemed to have a little less muscle definition and a little less of a pudge. Unlike the Mario they knew, this one was dressed in a long, white lab coat with a pale blue, button down shirt and red tie underneath, along with gray slacks and sensible leather shoes. Atop his head rested not a cap with an ‘M’ on it, but instead a doctor’s head mirror. His white work gloves were replaced with blue latex ones and a stethoscope was draped around his neck.
Mario… or rather, the ‘normal’ Mario in the corner noticed the four of them approaching and looked up brightly from his magazine. “Ah, girls!” he beamed, “I’d like you to meet my friend Mario!”
The Mario dressed like a doctor set down a tongue depressor he had been using to look down Link’s throat and turned to look at the ponies. “Hello! It’s-a me! Mario!”
The ponies were all struck completely silent. Samus chuckled and walked into the room, leaning against a wall.
Finally, Twilight worked up the nerve to speak.
“...what.”
Applejack pulled her hat down over her face and grumbled, “Twilight, I’m ‘bout to ‘Nope’ on outta here again!”
Fluttershy seemed less stunned, her ears perking up. “Oh, I get it! He’s your twin brother?”
The normally dressed Mario chuckled, setting his magazine aside and standing. “Nope! He’s-a Mario, just like me!”
“I am he as you are he and you are me and we are all together,” The ‘Doctor Mario’ said jokingly.
“Gu Gu Gachu,” Samus quipped.
“Wait wait wait,” Twilight said, holding a hoof up and shaking her head. “How can there be two Marios? This doesn’t make any sense!”
“Actually, it makes perfect sense if you think about it,” Doctor Mario said as he handed a tank-like device with a mask attached to it to Link. “Here, breathe into this, Link. It’ll help.”
Mario continued where his doctoral counterpart left off. “You already know that all the various contestants come from different universes of course,” he said, addressing the ponies.
“Yes, you explained as much… wait…” Twilight muttered, the pieces clicking together. She gasped. “You mean… he’s an alternate Mario? A Mario from another universe?”
“What are y’all talking about now?” Applejack asked.
Twilight grinned at her friend, grabbing her around the shoulders. “It’s Infinite Universe theory!” she squealed.
Fluttershy and Applejack just blinked.
Twilight sighed. “Okay, so… alternate universes. The theory is that, at the beginning of time, many universes were formed as opposed to just one.” Twilight raised a hoof in the air and waved it around. “Just being here among all these different beings basically proves that that’s true already.”
Applejack’s face screwed up. “Alright, I think I’m following.”
Twilight nodded and continued. “To put it simply, there are other subsections of multiverse theory, though, that say that new universes are constantly being made. Universes where big events or choices happen differently, or even universes where everything seems the same with a few tiny insignificant differences between them. Universes that, in many ways, are identical to other ones, but branched off when something different happened.” Twilight pointed to Doctor Mario. “This Mario is from one of those universes. A universe where Mario didn’t become a plumber, but became a doctor instead!”
“Very good, Twilight!” Mario said with a grin. “In my world, I was putting myself through college by being a plumber, when I found a secret warp zone while working on a drain and found myself lending a hand in a Mushroom land...”
Doctor Mario grinned as he checked Link’s blood pressure. “...While in my world, I turned that one job down and went on to get my degree by watching House and Scrubs and E.R.”
Applejack pressed her hooves into her temple. “Hang on, back up,” she said, addressing Twilight. “Y’all are saying that not only are there a bunch of universes out there what got crazy critters like humans and giant monkeys and pink marshmallows and turtle monsters what not… but ALSO a bunch of other versions of those same universes that’re slightly different?” Applejack screwed up her face.
Fluttershy cocked her head. “Would that mean there are other versions of Equestria out there somewhere? Other Twilights and Applejacks and Fluttershys?”
“It’s certainly not impossible,” Twilight said, before pointing to the two Marios. “Heck, if this is any indication, it’s not just possible, it’s probable!” Twilight rubbed her hooves together. “Just picture it! Other Equestrias, some almost identical to ours, some vastly different! Heck, there may be an Equestria out there where we’re all humans like Mario and Samus here!”
Fluttershy giggled. Applejack snorted dismissively. “Alright, now y’all are just going plum crazy.”
Twilight’s face scrunched up in irritation.
“Anyway…” Doctor Mario said loudly, cutting off any further argument from the ponies as he waved a light in Link’s eye as he continued to breathe into the mask, “I’m going to go ahead and give you a clean bill of health, Link. Keep breathing that enriched oxygen for a while in case the spores are still making it hard for you to breathe and put some ice on your head to stave off the fever. With any luck, you’ll be fine in a few hours, but if it persists, come back to me and I’ll see if there’s anything else I can do.”
Link nodded and got up off the table, strapping the mask around his face and unsteadily walking over to his gear.
“Now then,” Doctor Mario said, looking to Samus and the ponies. “As nice as it is to meet all of you, I’m sure you didn’t just come down here for a social call?”
Samus got up from the wall and shook her head. “I wanted to talk to the two of you about something that just came up. Mario left with Link before he could see what happened in the Great Hall.”
“What happened in the Great Hall?” Mario asked.
Samus nodded towards Link. “Remember the fairy that healed Lunkhead over there during the fight?” Mario nodded, though Doctor Mario simply shrugged.
“Non-Combatant. Wasn’t there,” he said noncommittally.
Samus rolled her eyes. “Right, well… that happened. A fairy showed up and healed his trophy field.” She narrowed her eyes and brought her voice down to a whisper. “Thing is, it’s still here.”
Link stumbled as he gathered up his gear, looking at the huntress with an intense look on his face.
The two Marios’ faces became very neutral. “You’re not joking, are you Samus?” he whispered back.
Samus sneered. “Do I sound like I’m joking?”
Mario frowned for a minute before turning to the ponies. “Girls, I’m afraid I need to talk about something with Samus and my counterpart for a bit.”
The three ponies were all taken aback. “Um… okay?” Twilight said hesitantly. “Is something wrong? Anything we can help with?”
“Probably not,” Mario replied with a small smile. “Still, I don’t want to worry you with anything, so it’d probably be for the best that I keep this conversation private. You understand?”
Applejack raised an eyebrow and looked about to retort, but Twilight cut her off. “Of course,” Twilight replied, getting a dirty glare from Applejack, though the farmpony kept her mouth shut.
Mario nodded, smiling a little wider. “How about we have Link show you girls to one of the rec rooms, or maybe the spa or something? I’m sure he can find you something to do.”
Link nodded, already looking a little stronger after breathing the enriched oxygen for a few minutes, and gave the ponies a thumbs up.
Twilight smiled. “Sure, that sounds just fine.”
Mario waved a gloved hand at the four of them. “Off-a you go then!” he chirped. “I’ll see you girls later!”
The three ponies all waved as Link led them out the door and into one of the Acropolis’ many hallways.
The two Marios turned to Samus, the one with the plumber’s cap raising a bushy eyebrow. “So what do you make of this, Samus?” he asked the huntress.
Samus shrugged, leaning back against the wall again. “Hell if I know. We’ve barely started this tournament and things keep getting weirder and weirder. It’s like the rules we’ve come to know don’t apply anymore.”
Mario stroked his moustache. “Or we never knew the rules right to begin with. Everything we know about this place we’ve pieced together over our time here.” His gaze dropped to the floor as his face creased pensively. “That said… unwitting contestants and now battle constructs that don’t despawn… if these things were always in the cards, why are we only seeing them this time around?”
“That’s assuming that the fairy is even a construct,” Samus said, scratching at the fangs running down her arm. “She had a surprising amount of personality for a usual construct. Even the most personable assist trophies are all basically just fleshy robots with programmed responses.”
“You think it was actually a Hylian Fairy then?” Mario asked, alarmed. “Another person kidnapped against their will?”
“Seems that way.” Samus nodded. “I wasn’t about to spend the time to find out for sure, though. I’m freaking exhausted. Zelda’s on top of that.”
Mario sighed disappointedly. “We’ll have to see what she finds later than.”
“Perhaps this fairy is in a similar situation to myself?” Doctor Mario asked, softly, his face set in a distant frown. “A refugee from her world granted asylum here in the Smashworld?”
Samus grimaced. “It’s possible I guess?” she said before shaking her head. “Except she seemed shocked to be here. If she was a refugee like you or any of the other Lost Boys, wouldn’t she know why she was here? And why would she spawn in the middle of a fight exactly like an item would?”
Doctor Mario slumped a little. “I suppose.”
Mario groaned as he pulled up a chair and slumped back into it. “Mamma Mia… this gets more and more disturbing every moment. If you’re right, then that means the Master is now kidnapping citizens from various worlds and just dropping them here at random. But why would he do that?”
Samus grimaced. “I hate to say it, but maybe we need to think of the possibility that the Hand is being possessed again. This is not normal behavior for him.”
Mario hemmed and hawed. “Maybe… still, if he’s being possessed again, whoever or whatever is doing it isn’t very good at hiding it. When Tabuu possessed him at the last tournament, we didn’t know anything was amiss until long after his plans had gone into effect.”
“Perhaps we should consider the idea…” Doctor Mario began, “... that the Master isn’t possessed but instead has... changed.”
The others looked at him quizzically, prompting the doctor to continue.
“I mean, first he lost his brother. As much as they didn’t get along, that has to mean something to him. And not long after that, the Master was possessed, forced to nearly destroy his own creations, nearly tore this world and every other world apart under the machinations of Tabuu, and when he finally broke free, he had been drained of so much of his power that he was savagely beaten into submission.” Doctor Mario looked at the others sadly. “What I’m saying is, perhaps this is the work of the Master, but this might not be the same Master we knew.”
“You think what happened to him last time drove him insane or something?” Samus asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.
Doctor Mario shook his head. “Not necessarily insane. Though perhaps he’s suffering from a form of post-traumatic stress disorder and is having difficulty coping with it, causing him to act out in unexpected ways.”
Samus pursed her lips. “He’s a quasi-deific otherdimensional being from a higher plane whose mind we can never hope to understand or some crap. Can he even get PTSD?”
The doctor shrugged his shoulders. “I can’t begin to know. That’s just a theory.”
“Either way,” Mario said, leaning forward. “We need to find some way of keeping an eye on the Master. If he’s possessed or insane or even if he’s just hurting and it’s causing him to act out, we need to find a way of watching him, figuring out what’s going on, and act accordingly.”
“How do you plan to do that?” Samus asked, snorting a little. “He hangs out in his freaky, unreachable void all the time. The only time any of us ever see him is when we sign up for a Classic Challenge and manage to get to the end. And if we do that, he’ll be too busy kicking our asses to try and give him a cuddle and get him to talk about his feelings.”
Mario sighed. “I don’t know, Samus. All I know is it has to be done.” He removed his cap and scratched at his shaggy brown hair. “I’ll talk to the others and see if they have any ideas on how we might go about monitoring the Master, or at the very least see if anybody has any ideas on how to contact him.” He pointed at Samus, replacing his hat upon his head. “You go to the library and see if you can come up with anything that way.”
“Oh goody goody!” Samus said, her face twisting into an excited, over exaggerated grin as she clasped her hands together. “I get to pore through a nigh-infinite number of ancient, impossible to read texts from a countless number of universes! It must be my birthday and Christmas!” She twisted her face into a scowl, glaring at Mario.
The plumber chuckled. “I know research isn’t exactly your forte.”
“My forte is making things bleed. And sometimes explode.”
Mario held up his hands in an attempt to placate the irate hunter. “I know. All I’m asking is that you get started. As soon as I talk with the others, we’ll join you, alright?”
Samus’ scowl deepened for a minute until she eventually relented and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, whatever,” she said, turning on a heel and opening the door. “Maybe reading textbooks will numb my mind enough that I can actually calm down. Don’t take too long though or I might set the place on fire.”
Mario nodded after her as she stamped out the door. “I’ll be along shortly.”
“In the meantime,” Doctor Mario said, clearing his throat. “I’m going to go meet with the other Lost Boys. I need to tell them that this world… might not be safe for much longer. We’re going to need to speed up picking a new world to call home in case the proverbial feces hits the fan.”
Mario clapped a hand on his doppelganger’s shoulder. “Good idea. Best of luck, Mario.”
Doctor Mario chuckled. “You too, Mario,” he said, giving the red-capped plumber a two-fingered salute and stepping out the door after Samus.
Mario heaved a massive sigh, removing his hat and pressing his fingers into his temples as he too stepped out of the doctor’s office and turned down the hall in the opposite direction from his double and Samus. “Mamma Mia, it’s-a gonna be one of those tournaments again.”
* * *
The three ponies followed Link through the Acropolis’ ornate hallways, the one they were currently treading down appearing to be made of massive sandstone bricks, the walls covered in ancient hieroglyphs from some culture none of them recognized. The ancient, tomblike structure of the place, though, was offset by what a great state of repair it was in and the plush red carpets along the ground, as well as the decorative plants set evenly down the halls. The corridor was lit by what appeared to be crystals set into the ceiling, and it took the other ponies a fair amount of urging to keep Twilight from trying to investigate the properties of the stones or translating the glyphs upon the walls.
The tension between the ponies was inordinately high. Applejack was, once again, shooting dirty glances at Twilight, who could not help but feel herself shrink beneath her friend’s gaze. Finally, after several minutes of this, Fluttershy sidled up between the two of them and gave Applejack a pointed look.
“Applejack, what’s bothering you?” she asked directly.
AJ’s eyes narrowed and she looked away. “Ain’t nothin’.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “You’ve been giving Twilight the evil eye since we talked with Doctor Mario. Something is bothering you.”
Applejack turned back and looked past Fluttershy at the confused and sheepish-looking Twilight. “It jus’ bothers me that Twilight here let Mario and the bunch get away with keepin’ secrets from us!” She snorted. “Seriously, Twi, what was up with that?”
Twilight looked at Applejack, a pensive look on her face. “Well, I wouldn’t say they’re keeping secrets from us, AJ,” she said.
“The hay are you talking about?” Applejack snapped. “They’re holding secret meetings they don’t want nopony to listen in on. Sounds like they’re keepin’ secrets to me!”
“Except you can’t keep a secret if you don’t know what the secret is,” Twilight said with a frown.
“Pardon?” AJ’s face scrunched up in confusion.
“What I’m saying,” Twilight continued, “is that Mario, Samus, and the rest are nearly as in the dark as to what’s going on around here as we are. They’re seeing all sorts of strange things happen that they don’t know what to make of and they’re having just as much trouble putting it together as we are. More, possibly, since what’s going on now goes against all the patterns that they’ve come to learn about this tournament.” Twilight looked at Applejack pointedly. “But you’ll notice that they haven’t really been keeping much information from us. They talked about the fairy openly in front of us, they shared the various unusual happenstances with us, as well as the history of this place when we were in Samus’ gunship scouting out the land.” Twilight cocked her head as she fought to come up with an analogy. “Basically what I’m saying is that they’ve shown us all the puzzle pieces, they’re just trying to actually put it together on their own.”
Applejack’s face had gone from angry to merely confused and a little irritated over the course of Twilight’s explanation. The farmer shook her head. “Then they’re bein’ plum stupid,” she said. “We could help them with that if they weren’t so darn cagey.”
Fluttershy spoke up. “Maybe they just don’t want us to worry,” she said softly.
Twilight nodded. “I’d say that’s about right. The thing is, AJ, they’re still so in the dark on what’s going on that any ‘conclusions’ they might come up with would only be speculation. And they probably don’t want us to worry over what really only amounts to hunches and estimations.” She smiled. “I’m sure if they actually come up with a reasonable answer or if they need us for anything, they’ll come to us.”
Applejack turned to Link, who had been walking in front of them the whole way and, given the way his large ears had been twitching, had clearly been listening in. “That all true, big fella?”
Link turned and removed his oxygen mask. He nodded, smiling softly.
Applejack raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Y’all don’t talk much, do ya?”
Link frowned, replacing his mask.
Applejack blinked. “Erm…” she muttered. “Did I say somethin’ wrong?”
The hero sighed deeply into the mask and shook his head, shrugging.
Fluttershy blinked. “Oh dear…” she said. “It’s not just that he doesn’t talk, AJ. He can’t talk.”
Applejack frowned. “What?” She looked back to Link. “But, y’all ain’t deaf or nothin’.”
Link turned around and stopped, prompting the ponies to stop as well. The hero moved the mask, tubes, and oxygen tank out of the way and hooked a finger under his collar. Pulling down with one arm, the hero revealed his throat to the three of them.
All three ponies gasped at what they saw.
A large, purple scar ran along the length of his neck. The jagged line of flesh ran horizontally across his throat, cutting straight through where his vocal cords were located.
“Oh my!” Twilight gasped.
“Whoa Nelly.” Applejack’s eyes widened. “That’s a helluva shame.”
“Oh you poor thing.” Fluttershy whimpered, trotting up to Link and wrapping a hoof around his leg.
Link looked at the three of them, clearing his throat and opening his mouth.
“Hhhit’ssz nnutk ssszo baad.”
The ponies all started, looking at the green-clad hero in shock. His words were slow and drawn out, his otherwise handsome tenor voice tainted by an extremely hoarse, gurgling quality that mangled his words and made it sound more like the gurglings of a monster than actual speech. Mere moments after he finished his sentence, he suddenly broke down in a fit of coughing and wheezing, quickly replacing the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and taking a few deep breaths.
“So that’s why the only sound y’all ever make is grunting,” Applejack said, looking down at her hooves. “I’m mighty sorry.”
Link shrugged and began leading them back down the hall.
Twilight trotted up next to him. “How’d it happen?” she asked, before looking away sheepishly. “I mean, if you’re okay with answering.”
Link removed the mask again, briefly looking at her. “Gkoat hurrn,” he managed to croak out before having to replace the mask.
“A goat horn?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening even further. “You were gored by a goat?”
Link nodded, his eyes not betraying any emotion.
“Oh that’s terrible!” Fluttershy wailed. “That must have been so awful.”
He nodded again but then patted Fluttershy on the head, only to be suddenly subjected to a big hug from Fluttershy, who’d fluttered up to his level to wrap her hooves around his shoulders.
Link coughed awkwardly, but smiled a little behind his mask, petting Fluttershy on the back. He broke off the hug after a moment and put her back on the ground.
“I’m mighty sorry, pardner,” Applejack said. “Didn’t mean to dredge up any lousy memories.”
Link waved her off, as if to say it was no big deal. He then waved down the hallway, motioning for the three of them to keep following. The three of them followed wordlessly, now silent after Link’s startling reveal.
Link led the three of them down the hallway a little further before turning around a corner and leading them to a large door. The ponies all looked quizzically at the door, which appeared to be completely out of place in the seemingly Neighgyptian-inspired hallway. The door was made out of a cherry-red wood, set into the wall. The doorjambs and lintel jutted out from the sandstone wall a little bit and the lintel was much longer than the length of the door itself. On the door was painted what looked to be a Neighponese symbol of some kind.
“Well that’s odd,” Twilight muttered, cocking her head.
Link strode up to the door and opened it inward, bidding the ponies step inside. The three of them followed his direction, only to find themselves in a small wooden room with no ceiling, the bright-blue sky clearly visible above them, puffy-white clouds drifting lazily overhead. The walls looked distinctly fence-like, unvarnished and natural, with distinct, vertical boards. On either side of them, there were two more doorways, with curtains draped over to keep anyone from seeing beyond them.
“I don’t understand?” Twilight said, looking at Link.
Link responded by pointing to the ponies and then to the doorway on their left covered by a pink curtain. He then pointed to himself and then to the doorway on the right, which had a blue curtain.
“You… want us to split up?” Twilight asked quizzically.
Applejack protested. “But we don’t know our way around this place!”
Link waggled his hand up and down, palm turned down to the floor, as if to tell the ponies to calm down. He then pointed to the curtain behind him.
Twilight frowned. “Um… I guess you’ll be right over there if we need you?”
Link nodded.
The little unicorn sighed. “Alright then,” she looked to her friends. “Come on, girls. Let’s see what Link’s got for us.”
Link waved to the three ponies and then disappeared behind the blue curtain. Moments later, the three ponies walked through the pink curtain and emerged into a narrow, wooden hallway with a steepled roof. The three ponies trotted down the hallway and down a set of stairs, which ended on a smooth, natural stone floor. Emerging out a doorway at the end of the wooden hallway, the three ponies gasped at what they saw.
It was a hot spring. A fresh, clear pool of steaming water sat surrounded by large, naturally smoothed stones. Fronds and flowering plants and even a few trees poked up from between the rocks, giving the place the look of a natural, enchanting glade. The far wall was a large boulder, down which a small waterfall trickled and poured into the spring, bubbling at the base. Out from the boulder stretched another wooden fence, which dipped into the water, but didn’t appear to go all the way to the bottom of the pool. The fence stretched across the spring, cutting it in half, and reached all the way to a boxy wooden structure, which Twilight guessed was the room they had just been in.
The stone path they stood on wrapped around the large rocks that held in the spring, and led down into another set of natural stone stairs which dipped directly into the spring. At a few points around the pool, the rocks opened up and small waterfalls poured down into secondary pools, surrounded by their own large, flattened rocks. The last wall of the little courtyard was covered in a large hedge of jasmine vines, giving the place a delightful, flowery scent.
“Oh my,” Fluttershy gasped cheerfully. “It’s lovely!”
“It looks exactly like the hot springs of Neighpon,” Twilight observed, fascinated. “They really have everything here.”
“So it’s like… a pool or somethin’?” Applejack asked.
Twilight shook her head. “More like a public bath. Hot springs in Neighpon are often used to unwind and regain strength. Ponies there use them for relaxation, meditation, and rejuvenation.”
“Oh my, Leaf. It seems we have company,” came a vaguely Trottingham-accented voice from behind a larger rock.
The ponies all jumped and turned to look where the voice came from. From behind the rock swam two figures. The first was a human girl with long, dark silvery-brown hair and gray eyes wearing an aqua green two-piece swimsuit. The second figure was very different, taking the form of a blue, two legged fox woman. She had the same basic body shape as most of the humans in the Acropolis, but her face was pointed with a muzzle, she was covered in light blue fur, save for parts that seemed to somehow be tattooed with white designs, and she had a big bushy tail and fox ears. Her hair was dark blue and styled short and spunky. She wore a gold two-piece swimsuit and a circlet on her forehead with a blue gem set in the center. Along with the two women, a third creature was spotted swimming around the spring, this one a dark blue turtle with a surprisingly fluffy tail and large, fluffy, pointed ears.
“Oh dear,” Twilight said, spying the two women, looking over the foxlike one curiously. “I’m so sorry, we didn’t know that there was anybody here.” She looked back and forth between the two women and the exit. “We can leave if you’d like.”
The foxlike one giggled softly. “Oh no, it’s no trouble,” she said, lifting a blue hand out of the water and motioning to the spring. “There’s plenty of room for everybody.”
Twilight blushed. “Well, if you’re sure.”
“Of course,” the human girl said with a wide smile. “The more the merrier.”
Twilight looked between her friends and shrugged, the three of them descending towards the water. “Thank you,” Twilight said as she dipped a hoof in gingerly, the heat of the spring making her recoil at first. She quickly adjusted, though, and lowered herself in the rest of the way, the other girls following her lead. The purple unicorn turned to the other women, looking at them curiously. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, Applejack and Fluttershy.”
“Howdy.”
“Hello.”
The foxlike woman smiled widely and placed a hand on her chest. “My name is Krystal, and my friend here is Leaf Green.” The human known as Leaf waved at the ponies from the other side of the spring. “Charmed to meet you all.”
* * *
Even though the conference room wasn’t anywhere near as packed as it had been the previous evening, the atmosphere was far more tense. Indeed, only four people currently sat around the long, wooden table, but the conversation at hand was many times more dire.
Zelda looked suspiciously down across the table at the purple-glowing fairy girl, who sat cross legged atop an upended teacup. The fairy’s arms were crossed in front of her chest and her face was set in an angry death glare up at the Hylian princess.
Meanwhile, a few seats down from the two of them, Luigi and Princess Peach sat, trying to keep things civil between the two Hylians. Luigi looked back and forth between the two of them, a nervous sweat running down the back of his neck as he fanned himself with his green plumber’s cap. On the other hand, Princess Peach looked completely calm and at home as she watched the two of them trade jabs.
The fairy glared up at the princess with a snide look. “...I’ll say it again,” she snapped. “The fairy dominion does not recognize the authority of the Hylian crown, so you can take your demands and stuff them.”
Zelda struggled to keep her composure, briefly breaking eye contact with the fairy to rub her temples. “And I repeat, this is not a demand, nor even an official request from the crown. Even if it were, the Hylian royal family has no power in this world.”
“Well then you can stuff it twice over,” the fairy girl said, sticking her tongue out at the princess.
Zelda took a deep breath. “All I asked was your name,” she said as evenly as she could. “Surely that’s not worth all this resistance.”
The fairy girl narrowed her eyes and scowled, blowing a puff of air out from between her lips and sending a lock of purple hair fluttering out of her face. “Like the great traitor of Hyrule would know anything about resistance.”
The princess went stiff, her face rigid and stony. “What was that?”
The fairy responded by giving her a sneer. “You heard me, Princess Bend-Over,” she snapped. “I have nothing to say to the princess who let the whole known world get taken from the back.”
Zelda suddenly leapt to her feet, slamming her palms down on the table with a loud ‘BANG’ as her chair clattered to the floor behind her. “Listen here you little–”
“That’s enough!” Peach shouted, standing up herself. She turned to the Hylian princess with a firm but calm look on her face and spoke calmly but forcefully. “Zelda, why don’t you go take a break?”
“But–” Zelda opened her mouth to protest, only for Peach to hold up a hand.
“I can handle this, Zelda,” Peach insisted. “You can sit this one out.” She looked back and forth between her and the fairy. “And frankly, as much as I know you like to be on top of everything here, I’m not convinced we’re going to get anywhere with you present.”
Zelda looked almost struck for a split second, then fell into an angry glower for another moment before finally settling back on her mask of neutrality. She took another deep breath and turned on her heel, walking out of the room. “Very well, I leave this to you, Peach,” she said as she firmly closed the door behind her.
“Phew,” Luigi said, replacing the cap upon his head. “I was worried there would be some kind of all out magic brawl for a second.”
“Thanks for that,” the fairy said, still glaring at the door Zelda had left from. “I can barely stand being in the same nation as that hussy.”
Peach sat down across from the fairy, looking down at her compassionately. “You seem to have a problem with Princess Zelda.”
“No shit,” the fairy said, turning back to Peach, an eyebrow raised as if to say ‘are you kidding me?’ The fairy snorted and rolled her eyes. “Word of advice:” she continued, “kick her out of here before she sells you all out to save her own skin. She has something of a history of that.” She looked Peach up and down, taking her in and focusing particularly on her ears. “So what are you supposed to be? Some kind of albino Gerudo?”
“My name is Princess Peach Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom,” Peach replied. “And I’m afraid I don’t know what a Gerudo is.”
“Not important,” the fairy said, waving her off, as she looked at her suspiciously. “Not sure I’m keen on talking to any princesses though. Especially not one named ‘Toadstool.’”
Peach nodded, giggling a little. “It is a rather unfortunate name, isn’t it?”
“Unfortunate?” The fairy laughed. “It sounds like you’re either planning on poisoning anyone who crosses you or you’re something that came out of the back end of a frog.”
Peach’s lips turned up into a wry smile. “Well it’s not like your name is any better.”
The fairy scowled. “What’s so bad about Prank?” Her eyes widened and she immediately clapped a hand over her mouth.
Peach sat back triumphantly. Luigi chuckled.
The fairy known as Prank raised an eyebrow and glared at the princess from behind her curtain of purple hair. “Well played, Toadstool.”
Peach smiled. Luigi spoke up, clearing his throat. “So, Prank.” he began, “do you have any idea where you are or how you got here?”
Prank turned her glare on the plumber, looking him up and down. “And who are you supposed to be?”
“My name’s Luigi.”
“And what, are you a princess too?” Prank asked with a sarcastic smirk.
Luigi chuckled. “Nah. I’m a plumber.”
Prank raised an eyebrow. “The hell’s a plumber?”
“We’re getting off track,” Peach said, turning the fairy’s attention back towards her. “We were just wondering if you had any idea where you were or how you got here.”
Prank shrugged. “Beats the hell outta me,” she replied exasperatedly. “One second I’m sunning myself at a fairy fountain and the next,” she clapped a fist into her open palm, “BAM! trapped in a bottle watching the Hero of Hyrule – who’s a lot less impressive in person by the way – duking it out with some orange… thing.” She threw her arms up in the air, continuing. “And THEN... I’m suddenly in this crazy castle or whatever this place is with all manner of weirdos. Seriously, what in the hell is going on here? I think I saw the freaking Demon King out there! How are you all not lying in shallow graves right now?!”
Luigi sighed. “Alright, long story short, this is a fighting tournament. People are summoned here, both good and evil, from many different worlds, to fight against each other. Whoever wins the tournament gets a wish granted.”
Prank stared at Luigi. “You’re mental,” she said matter-of-factly. She turned to Princess Peach. “What’s going on here?”
Peach shrugged. “No, he’s pretty much right. He left out some details, but that’s a good sum-up.”
Prank stared at the two of them before shaking her head and laughing. “Alright, that’s a good joke, guys. Very funny. I can appreciate a good prank as much as anyone. Hell, it’s my NAME,” she said, clapping her hands gently, turning back to them with a nervous smile. “But seriously. What’s going on?”
Luigi shook his head. “No joke.” He nodded at the door. “You saw all those creatures out there. How many of them were completely alien to you?”
“Well… I mean…” The fairy sputtered. “I mean, okay, but they could just be from across the sea or something. Nobody has any idea what lies beyond the ocean.”
“Except you recognized the place where the fight you saw took place, right?” Peach said with a smile that bordered on smug.
“Well yeah, it was the Sacred Grove! The site of the old Temple of Time! Any fairy would recognize it.”
“So you can’t be across the sea then, now can you?” Peach said.
“But I…” Prank said, her eyes widening.
“And…” Luigi said, holding up a finger, “from what I’ve heard, fairies are everywhere in Hyrule. If that’s true, surely you would have heard of a massive fighting tournament with dozens of creatures from across the sea travelling to Hyrule.”
Prank glowered at the two of them, before finally huffing and crossing her arms again. “Well, fine, but that rules out another world too! How can the Sacred Grove be in another world?”
“That’s because this is a place known as the Smashworld,” Peach explained. “The Smashworld takes pieces of our worlds and replicates them here as arenas for us to fight in.”
Prank shook her head. “This is too weird… wait…” She looked panicked all of a sudden. “Are you saying I’m going to have to fight in this crazy tournament of yours?!”
Peach frowned. “Well… I’m not sure. I don’t think so, or your name would be on the roster. I suppose we should check to see if it’s there now, though.”
Prank suddenly flew up in the air. “No! Hell no! I refuse! Put me in an army and I’ll fight, but you can’t expect me to square off one-on-one with the freaking Demon King! How the hell is he even here, anyway? The Hero of Twilight killed his ass!”
“Prank, please calm down,” Peach said, standing up.
“Hell no!” She pointed at the two of them, “You can both stuff it where the sun don’t shine! I’m out of this crazy place!” The fairy turned to the door and suddenly glowed bright purple as she gathered magical energy.
“Wait!” Peach shouted, holding out a hand to stop her but it was too late. Prank discharged the magical purple lightning bolt of energy at the door, blowing a six-inch hole in the wood. Peach and Luigi leapt across the table to try and catch her but Prank was too fast, zipping out the door at a speed neither of them could follow and leaving a purple contrail in her wake. The two of them tumbled over the table and landed on the other side in a tangled heap.
The two of them lay there dazed for a moment, Peach lying atop Luigi, her dress ruffled and her hair mussed up. Luigi nursed a bump on his head as he looked up at the princess.
“I think that went well,” he muttered.
“Oh hush.”
* * *
Queen Chrysalis wandered down a winding hallway of cyclopean stones. The atmosphere in the corridor would have been creepy and unnerving were it not for the cheerfully lit lamps, pink carpet, and potted flowers dotting the sides of the hallway. Her mane and tail dangled down from her head as she casually walked across the ceiling, her hooves clinging fast to the stonework like an insect.
The queen’s face was set in a frown of concentration as she mentally mapped the layout of the Acropolis. Honestly, once you got past the fact that it was geometrically impossible and defied all laws of space and reason, it was pretty easy to plot out. Once you worked through the lingering insanity that comes from trying to understand non-euclidian geometry, of course. Queen Chrysalis had spent the last several months jailed in a castle that worked in a similar manner, so she’d long since circled around back to a semblance of sanity and was now adept at pinning down such layouts. The only difficulty in this case was going to be the sheer scale of the Acropolis. The Palace of the Cuddle Cats that she’d taken over as a headquarters in her failed invasion of Ponyville was maddening, for sure, but it was comparatively small (inasfar as one could call a place that did not ascribe to the laws of space and relativity ‘small’). The Acropolis was veritably massive. It would likely take the queen months if not longer to map the whole thing out. It became clear pretty quickly why most of the contestants used their R.O.B. guides to get around most of the fortress.
Speaking of which, Chrysalis watched as a R.O.B. passed beneath her. The little red and gray robot waved up at her in a friendly manner as it passed. Chrysalis sneered at it, then continued on her way, lamenting her separation from her little changelings. If she had her swarm, she could map this place out in a mere week or two with the help of the hive connection she had with her children. Chrysalis sighed and shook her head. There was no point in pining for what couldn’t be. She needed to focus on getting ahead in the tournament. Eight months of separation would be worth it if she could create a better world for her changelings with but a wish.
Eventually she came to an X-shaped intersection, which split off into three directions. To her left was a hallway that looked to be made of pink, fluffy clouds with a rainbow for a floor. Chrysalis grimaced and decided she’d save mapping that part of the Acropolis out for later.
Directly ahead of her, the walls seemed to be made of cinderblocks painted an off-white or light yellow. The floor looked to be made of metal grating of some sort, but the hallway was blocked off by a bunch of crates and cardboard boxes piled high, nearly to the top of the corridor. Chrysalis narrowed her eyes, noticing a gap between the top of the pile of crates and the ceiling, but it was narrow and Chrysalis wasn’t interested in scraping up her carapace at the moment to see what lay beyond. She decided to come back when the R.O.B.s moved the crates.
Which left the path to her right: a metal corridor that looked stark, gloomy, and minimalistic compared to the rest of the Acropolis. Chrysalis shrugged and turned the corner only to come face to face with a giant, green-skinned man wearing a massive suit of ornate black armor and a flowing red, tattered cape. A wire crown rested atop his head, connected to a brooch headpiece that sat in the middle of his forehead. His hair was a fiery orange and separated into cornrows with the wires of the crown between them, and down his jaw grew a large orange beard. Oversized, downturned eyebrows grew back all the way until they met with his hair, giving him a look of a perpetual scowl, or at best a sinister grin. His plate armor was stylized with a high collar, massive shoulder pads, wristguards, shinguards, boots, and chain mail beneath it all. The queen noticed, though, that the breastplate of his armor was damaged, a large hole split in the middle of his chest. However, instead of exposed skin or chainmail, a bright, glowing light shone from within the hole. The undamaged parts of his armor were decorated with stylized representations of monsters, dragons, fangs, and glowing red eyes.
All in all, the man’s stature was enough to make the queen take a step back. He gave the effect of somebody one absolutely did not want to trifle with if they wanted to keep on breathing.
The man was so tall that his burning yellow eyes made contact with the Queen’s, even as she walked on the high ceiling, and she found herself shivering as she looked into them, though she very quickly managed to rein herself in and regain her queenly composure, scowling at the massive man before her. “Is this a habit you make? Lurking around corners just so you can get a little scare out of passersby?” she snarked at him, preemptively gathering her magic within her should this encounter turn into a fight.
The giant man smiled. It was not a pleasant sight. The shape of his face and eyebrows made any attempt at cheer look downright diabolical. “Not often,” he replied, his voice a bassy, gravelly baritone that seemed to shake the walls around them. “I assure you that was a mishap on my part,” he said, placing a massive, black-nailed hand on his chestplate.
“Indeed it was.” Chrysalis narrowed her eyes. “What do you want, human?”
“Merely a moment of your time, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings,” Ganondorf replied, his sinister grin never leaving his face.
The queen’s ears turned back and she scowled while dropping from the ceiling, turning like a cat in midair and landing gracefully on her hooves, using the momentum from her fall to lower herself into a battle stance and aim her horn at him. “How do you know my name? My station? Speak before I incinerate you, human. I have felled greater than your kind.”
The human didn’t flinch. The smile never even left his face. Instead, the giant human, now towering over the queen, simply stood, relaxed as ever before her. “My name is Ganondorf, my Queen,” he said, dipping into a bow, his hand still on his chest. “Demon King, Prince of the Gerudo, and wielder of the Triforce of Power.” As he spoke those last words, the hand on his chest seemed to glow faintly, three glowing yellow triangles appearing upon it, one of which shone brighter than the other two. Queen Chrysalis’ eyes widened as she felt the sheer immensity of the magical power that radiated off of the insignia on his hand wash over her. She did her best to keep her composure, though, as the massive man known as Ganondorf continued. “And to answer your question, any information I may seek on our fellow contestants is available to us, if we merely know where to look for it,” he said, cryptically.
“Oh really?” The Changeling Queen’s eyes narrowed once more. “Any information, you say?”
“Indeed.” Ganondorf’s grin seemed to widen.
Chrysalis scoffed, rising out of her battle stance and into a more casual one, though her muscles were still visibly tensed. “Very well then, Demon King,” she began. “Tell me about myself.”
Ganondorf stepped forward a few paces until he stood beside the Queen. He addressed her, looking past her down the hallway behind her. “I know you are the mother of a race of shapeshifters called the Changelings; parasites that feed on emotions, especially positive ones such as love.”
Outwardly, Chrysalis scowled, though inside, her heartbeat was picking up pace. “Watch your choice of words, Demon King. Parasite is not a word we take kindly to,” she snarled, trying to cover her rising anxiety with indignation and anger.
Ganondorf continued, heedless of Chrysalis’ words. “I know you are old enough to have seen empires rise and fall, and possess a powerful measure of sorcery… though compared to some of the contestants you might find here, you are a mere child, playing with fire.”
Chrysalis snorted, her wings buzzing in short, agitated pulses upon her back. A faint aura of green flame surrounded her horn. Ganondorf continued though, unperturbed. “This is no better demonstrated than the time you attempted to conquer the city of Canterlot. Your surprise attack managed to fell the ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia, and its champions the Elements of Harmony, but as you celebrated your triumph you were too distracted to notice her niece and nephew-in-law gathering their power to take you down. Your hubris and lack of awareness caused you to be defeated by the very emotion you feed upon.”
Chrysalis growled faintly as Ganondorf continued still, but the fire around her horn went out. “Broken and defeated, you attempted to get revenge upon the Elements of Harmony and especially the unicorn known as Twilight Sparkle, as she was the key to your undoing in Canterlot. Kidnapping the young friends and siblings of the Elements of Harmony, you lured them into a trap. A trap that ultimately failed when Twilight Sparkle saw through your ruses and overpowered you in single combat.” Ganondorf shook his head. “Believe it or not I can sympathize. I understand how it feels to have so much power, and to yet be defeated by a whelp you should have been able to crush like an insect beneath your heel.”
Queen Chrysalis sneered, her lip curling up to reveal her needle-like fangs. “How can you know all this?”
“I have my ways,” Ganondorf said, folding his arms behind his back and casting a sidelong glance at the queen. “I can assure you that they are more savoury than the methods the so-called ‘heroes’ use to gather their information. You would think they would be above resorting to subterfuge and trickery to try and get their intelligence,” he said with a dark chuckle
Chrysalis scoffed, stamping a hoof. “I’ve had enough of this,” she snarled. “What do you want of me, Demon King?”
Ganondorf finally turned his head to look into the queen’s eyes. Chrysalis felt a powerful shudder go down her spine. “Are you aware, my Queen,” Ganondorf began, “that the heroes have formed an alliance to keep their enemies in check? That they conspire to sabotage us in the tournament and keep us from earning the prize?”
Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I spoke with that lowly plumber Mario earlier, and with the way he and several other contestants acted, I assumed they held some sort of alliance.”
“Well then, Queen Chrysalis, I have a proposal for you,” Ganondorf said, turning his body to face her and stepping forward close enough to touch. He leaned forward at the waist, his hands still behind his back, so that his eyes were nearly level with hers, though he still looked down upon her. “I am putting together an alliance of my own to counter the heroes and their pathetic attempts to stop us.”
Chrysalis pursed her lips. “Really, now?”
“Indeed.” Ganondorf smiled menacingly, an eyebrow quirking. “In fact, here comes one now.”
Chrysalis turned and looked down the hallway. Walking towards her was a blonde human, still taller than her, but standing a head and shoulders shorter than Ganondorf. His face was covered in what looked like electrical scars and he was dressed in a militaristic, olive-green longcoat with red gloves and boots. Somehow, the grin on his face was even more psychotic and menacing than Ganondorf’s.
“Kuwabara, Kuwabara…” the scarred man chanted under his breath. Absently, he held a fist out to the metal wall, powerful bolts of electricity arcing between the wall and his fist.
Ganondorf straightened up and held a hand out towards the newcomer. “Queen Chrysalis, meet Colonel Yevgeny Borisovitch Volgin.”
“A pleasure,” Colonel Volgin growled with a menacing grin.
“Likewise,” Chrysalis deadpanned before turning back to Ganondorf. “No offense, Ganondorf, but your plan is moronic.”
If anything, Ganondorf seemed to smile wider. “Oh?” he asked, sounding amused.
Chrysalis cocked her head. “As you said, I’m old enough to have seen nations rise and fall. You honestly think in all that time I haven’t tried to join up with a ‘legion of doom?’” She shook her head and chuckled. “It never works. Ever. Every last one of them has eventually fallen into jealousy, bitterness, and infighting.” She looked between Ganondorf and Colonel Volgin, a smug look on her face. “The prize we’re fighting for is a single wish. You honestly think we can team up in an attempt to try and win something like that? We’ll be fighting each other for it before the heroes are even defeated, and that will cause our downfall.” She smirked. “Or can the two of you really tell me that you don’t have a plan to stab the other in the back as your goal comes near?”
Volgin grinned. “Of course we would…” he said, violence in his eyes, “...if we were fighting for the wish at all.”
Queen Chrysalis blinked.
“Of course it would be foolish to try and band together over a single wish. We would fall to infighting almost immediately,” Ganondorf said. “That’s why we are banding together over something more… much more.”
Chrysalis lifted a hoof, moving as if to step back. “And that would be?”
Ganondorf shook his head. “Unfortunately, I’m afraid I can’t tell you exactly what it is. At least, not until you’ve been brought into the fold.” He looked at her with a smug, menacing smile. “I can assure you, though, that you want to join us. What we have to offer will absolutely be worth putting up with another ‘legion of doom.’”
Queen Chrysalis hesitated. On the one hoof, she didn’t trust Ganondorf or Volgin in the least. They radiated hatred and malice like heat off of a fire, and even the most naïve nymph would know they were trouble. Still, as she thought about it, she realized that if she were to turn them down, while they couldn’t do anything to actively hurt her here in the Acropolis, they could absolutely work to sabotage her performance in the ring and work together to bring her down with everybody else in the tournament. And she had to admit, she was curious what could be greater than a wish granted that brought two obvious megalomaniacs together like this.
After some hesitation, Chrysalis opened her mouth to speak.
“Get away from her!” came a snarling voice from behind them.
The three villains turned to see the monstrous form of Bowser storming down the hall towards them. Fire curled out of his mouth and his bulging yellow hide flexed with steel-hard muscles and his claws made metallic scraping sounds against each other as he crashed towards them, though the effect was somewhat diminished by the fact that he was storming down the rainbow hallway with pink clouds for walls.
Ganondorf smirked. “Bowser, my old friend. I was hoping to run into you.”
The King of the Koopas stormed up to the group and shoved a claw in Ganondorf’s face. “Can it, pig-boy! I’m not joining you for anything! Not this time!”
The Demon King raised an eyebrow. “Still steaming?” he asked with a chuckle.
“More than you know,” Bowser snarled, smoke curling out of his nostrils, before turning to Chrysalis. “Don’t trust a damn thing this schmuck says, Chrysalis. He makes a habit out of using people before tossing them out like old meat. Whatever he’s asking you to do, bail now!”
With a sigh, Ganondorf shook his head. “I can see our unfortunate history isn’t going to allow us to work together this time, Bowser.”
“Damn right!” Bowser snarled, casting a sidelong glare at him.
Chrysalis’ eyes narrowed in confusion. She could feel the emotion coming off of Bowser. He was pissed. It was obvious from his emotions that he was speaking from experience and Ganondorf had stabbed him in the back, just as she had known he would. From the sheer level of anger towards him that Bowser had, though, she wondered just how badly he must have betrayed him.
But what really struck her curiosity was an emotion lying beneath all that. Beneath all the rage and fury that Bowser held there was a faint trace of… concern?
A concern directed at her...
Chrysalis balked. In her previous encounter with Bowser, he had been a self-absorbed bully, and suddenly he was showing a trace of worry for her? It had been eons since anything had ever felt anything but contempt and hatred for her and her kind. Where in Equestria did this sudden sense of sympathy, no matter how small, come from? This tiny shred of concern intrigued her. In fact, it piqued her curiosity far more than what Ganondorf proposed.
She had to know more.
Queen Chrysalis turned to look at Ganondorf. “Well, I think my point has been confirmed well enough,” she said with a smug smile.
Ganondorf frowned, before feigning a sad sigh. “Very well, my Queen. The offer remains on the table, however, if you change your mind.”
Chrysalis turned on a hoof and walked back the way she came down the stone hallway. “It’s been a pleasure meeting you, Ganondorf. Volgin.” She turned to look at Bowser. “Come, Bowser. Perhaps we can find more savory company elsewhere.”
Bowser blinked.
“I uh…” he said, startled, before shaking it off. “Yeah, sure. Whatever.”
“Hold up,” Volgin said, stopping the two of them and causing them to turn to look back at him. “Before you go…” he growled, turning to look at the pile of crates stacked up in front of the concrete and metal-grated hallway. The Colonel looked intensely at a cardboard box that sat in front of the base of the stack of wooden crates.
Chrysalis and Bowser looked on with perplexed expressions as Colonel Volgin stomped up to the cardboard box, his fist crackling with electricity. The scarred man suddenly raised his fist above his head and brought it crashing down upon the cardboard box, crushing it and setting the paper aflame.
Orange juice and a mess of pulp splattered all over the hallway as the box crumpled and split beneath his fist. Fruit guts splashed the walls and the gathered villains’ faces. A single, sad, lonely orange bounced out of the split in the box and rolled towards Chrysalis’ hoof, bouncing off of it.
Bowser chuckled. Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “Yes, you certainly showed that box of fruit who was boss.”
Volgin gaped wide eyed for a second, before he snarled and turned on a foot, stomping back the way he came down the metal hallway. A corner of Ganondorf’s mouth curled up, amused. “Well then,” he said, “it’s been wonderful meeting you, Queen Chrysalis. I will see you again soon.” And with that, he calmly turned and followed Volgin.
Chrysalis snorted, then turned back down the stone hallway. “Come on, Bowser. Let’s go find something to hit.”
Bowser grinned, following the queen. “That sounds like my kind of fun…”
* * *
The collection of villains had passed when the vent on the wall of the metallic hallway was pushed open with a silent squeak. The vent cover fell free from its slot on the wall and tumbled, only to be caught by a blue-gray gloved hand before it could reach the floor. Moments later, a figure emerged from the vent, silently squeezing out of the confines of the ventilation shaft and twisting around to land on his feet with nary a sound.
Snake straightened up, watching after Ganondorf and Colonel Volgin, who were just turning a corner at the end of the metal hallway, then looked down the stone hallway after Chrysalis and Bowser, only to see the two of them were already out of sight. Snake grunted, leaning up against the wall of the metal hallway and pulling a pack of cigarettes out of a pouch on his sneaking suit. Lighting it and taking a long drag, Snake mulled over what he’d just overheard. He looked briefly to his right at the crushed cardboard box filled with ruined, dripping fruit and grimaced. Apparently that trick wouldn’t work on Volgin. He’d probably learned it from…
...Snake shook his head.
With a grunt, Snake lifted two fingers to the side of his head. He crouched, getting ready to contact his support group back in his home dimension when all of a sudden, he heard another voice in the hallway with him.
“Gracious, I’m glad I didn’t choose that as my hiding spot.”
Snake whipped around, grabbing ahold of his knife and getting into a combat stance as one of the wooden crates piled up and blocking the hallway opened at the top and a well dressed man emerged from within, looking down at the crushed box of oranges. He quickly reached down into the crate he was standing in and pulled out a fancy-looking top hat, placing it upon his head before noticing that Snake was in the hallway with him, looking at him suspiciously. He smiled warmly. “Ah, hello my good sir. That was rather bracing, wouldn’t you say?” He climbed out of the crate and jumped off the pile, landing deftly on the floor below, straightening up and brushing dust off of his dark brown sport coat. He held out a hand to Snake. “Professor Hershel Layton, at your service.”
Snake looked at the offered hand and grumbled something barely audible. Though he relaxed his stance and sheathed his knife, he did not shake it. “I know who you are, Professor. What are you doing here?” After a moment, Professor Layton retracted his hand and continued.
“I see my reputation precedes me,” he said, sounding curious, and continued. “I was informed by a fetching woman in a purple gown that that Ganondorf fellow was known for making trouble at these tournaments, so I decided that I would do my part as a gentleman and see if he happened to be up to his old tricks. It was lucky I stumbled upon him when I did, it seems. I rather dislike snooping around but we do what is necessary. He gave a great deal away to that Chrysalis woman, though he does seem to have left us with quite the puzzle.”
“Puzzle my boot!” came a voice from a few feet down the pink, cloudy hallway. “Ain’t no puzzle to figure out. We just gotta get to them and kick them ‘till they know not to pull anything!” A moment later, a fist punched out of the pink cloud that made up the wall. The hand clutched the cloud wall and peeled it away, revealing a man dressed in an unbuttoned leather vest with no undershirt and ratty jeans. He wore combat boots, an alligator tooth necklace, and a worn bush hat, also decorated with alligator teeth. He stumbled out of the wall and into the intersection, his clothes dotted with wisps of pink cloud still clinging to him.
Professor Layton nodded to the wildman. “Solid Snake, my friend and associate here at the Acropolis, Mr. William West.”
The strange man reached over and grabbed Snake’s hand from his side, shaking it vigorously. “Folks call me Bayou Billy. William West was m’ Pa.”
Snake pulled his hand away from Bayou Billy as Professor Layton continued. “As you can probably tell, he prefers the direct approach to solving problems.”
“Hit it ‘till it falls down and don’t get up!” Bayou Billy gave a slightly manic grin.
Snake grunted and turned to Professor Layton. “How did you know my name?”
“Oh, your comrades here at the Acropolis speak rather highly of you,” he said, removing his hat and straightening his hair. “Though at the same time, rather suspiciously as well.”
Snake growled softly, and took another long drag of his cigarette.
“You are aware those will kill you, yes?” Professor Layton said, turning him a concerned glance.
“So I’ve been told,” Snake grumbled noncommittally.
Layton shrugged as Bayou Billy thrust himself into the conversation. “Anyway, like I said,” he exclaimed, “we gotta take them lowlifes down a peg! Teach ‘em they can’t get away with plotting and scheming around here!”
“That won’t work,” Snake said, leaning back against the wall. “Fighting in the Acropolis is regulated pretty strictly. Anything escalates further than a few blows here, and you risk bringing the Master Hand himself down on your head,” Snake looked away and sneered. “Seen it happen. Apparently somebody tries something every tournament.”
Bayou Billy cocked his head and slumped a little. “Well that’s stupid,” he said bluntly. “Floating hand brings us here for a fighting tournament and don’t want us fighting?”
“Fighting is okay as long as it happens outside the Acropolis. The second you step out into the Smashworld, anything is fair game,” Snake said with a shrug. “Ask me, it’s stupid, but I’m not about to argue with a demigod that I think his rules are shit.”
“Language,” Professor Layton said, though he sounded calm as ever.
Snake rolled his eyes and continued. “I don’t get why half the rules here exist. Nobody does. And half the time, we only find out a rule exists because somebody broke it.” He put out his cigarette against the wall and slipped it into a portable ashtray he got off his belt. “Point is, I’m not particularly enthusiastic about getting on the case of a deity and how he makes the rules around here, and if you’re smart you shouldn’t be either.”
Billy grumbled and crossed his arms. Professor Layton spoke up. “Well then, we must figure out what those miscreants have planned and report it to the other contestants. Perhaps the Master Hand himself.”
Snake nodded. “And sabotage whatever it is they’re doing before they can put it into action. Anything that is apparently greater than the wish offered as a prize can’t possibly be good news if it gets in their hands.”
Layton smiled. “Very well, Mr. Snake,” he said. “What should our next step be?”
Snake raised an eyebrow. “My next step is to keep tabs on Ganondorf, Volgin, and anybody else who might be a part of this plan they have.” He pointed at the two of them. “Your next step is to stay out of this and go enjoy the rest of the tournament.”
“Hey now–” Billy started to protest, only for Professor Layton to place a hand on his shoulder.
“I’m afraid I must disagree, Mr. Snake,” the professor said. “I fully intend to see this puzzle through to the end, and I’m certain that Billy feels the same.”
Snake frowned. “Ganondorf is the definition of crafty. Just because we can’t get into direct fights with one another here doesn’t mean there aren’t ways for people to hurt one another if they’re clever and determined enough.” Professor Layton opened his mouth to say something but Snake held up a hand. “And don’t be fooled,” he continued, “you can be hurt here. The trophy field will keep you safe in a fight, but not only are there ways around it, as long as we’re not actually in an active fight, it goes inactive. People can and do get into accidents here, and sometimes, they aren’t exactly accidents.”
Professor Layton’s brow furrowed, though he quickly returned to his calm, serene visage. “I can assure you, Mr. Snake, that despite appearances I am capable of handling myself in a scrap.”
“‘Sides, how are y’all gonna stop us from tagging along?” Billy asked, a sardonic grin on his face. “‘Specially if we can’t get into fights?”
Snake frowned. He was about to retort when he heard his CODEC chirping in his ear. Grumbling, he turned away from the two of them and faced the wall, putting two fingers up to his ear and activating his codec, a window of his friend Otacon appearing in his vision.
“I’d take them with you, Snake,” Otacon said.
“Otacon,” Snake grumbled. “You heard all that?”
The image of Otacon was swapped out for Colonel Campbell. “We’ve been listening in since you were spying on Ganondorf, Snake.”
The image quickly switched to show Mei Ling. “I think you should let Professor Layton help you, Snake. Whatever Ganondorf has planned, it’s obviously big, and the Professor is very intelligent.”
“I have you for that, Mei Ling,” Snake said with a slight smile.
Mei Ling giggled. “I’m flattered, Snake,” she said, “but there’s only so much I can do to help you from here. Given that we’re in completely different universes at the moment, I mean.”
Snake grumbled. The image switched back to Otacon. “And now that I know who he is, I’ve looked up information on Bayou Billy,” he said with a proud smirk. “I knew he seemed familiar somehow.”
“What did you get?” asked Snake.
“Not much,” Otacon admitted. “He was only ever in one game; ‘The Adventures of Bayou Billy’ in 1988. It… wasn’t a very good game.” Otacon said, sounding slightly hesitant. “Still, he managed to take out the entire New Orleans underworld single-handedly when his girlfriend was kidnapped, and before that he had a background in the military.”
“Ex-soldier, eh?”
“Delta Force, to be exact,” Otacon confirmed.
“Hnnnh…” Snake grumbled. “Didn’t get that impression off him. Doesn’t seem disciplined enough.”
Otacon shrugged. “Looks can be deceiving, Snake.”
Colonel Campbell reappeared in his vision. “Snake, last time you were here, you tried to go solo until it was too late to do anything about the threat Tabuu posed to the multiverse. If it hadn’t been for luck, we wouldn’t be here now. You should consider taking their support.”
“Is that an order, Colonel?” Snake rumbled.
Campbell shook his head. “Still not technically a Colonel, Snake. I can’t order you to do anything. But as your friend, I deeply recommend you have some support on this. You can’t do everything alone.”
Snake sighed. “Fine.”
“Oh don’t be so grumpy, Snake,” Mei Ling said. “Professor Layton seems really nice, and Billy doesn’t seem so bad either. I’m sure you’ll get along.”
“I’m more worried about them getting in my way. Snake out,” he said, removing his fingers from his ear and terminating the call. Snake turned back around, only to notice Layton and Billy staring at him strangely.
“Are you quite alright, Mr. Snake?” Layton asked, looking concerned.
“Y’all were whispering to a wall for three minutes,” Billy added.
“Contacting my support back in my world. Don’t ask,” Snake said, continuing before they could ask how that was possible. “Looks like you two are in.”
“Alright!” Billy cheered, clapping Snake on the shoulder, causing the soldier to flinch reflexively.
Professor Layton nodded. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said. “Now then,” he continued, pulling down on the brim of his hat, “let’s foil some miscreants.”