Chapter 5: Attack of the Party
Thomas awoke to the sound of an amp. Someone was testing out a dubstep track and someone else was tuning a cello.
The musical combo of Scratch and Octavia, said Thomas to himself and then sat bolt upright. Oh Shazbat, I’m still in Equestria. OK, I hope my parents don’t freak, and didn’t Pinkie mention something about a party?
Before he had fallen asleep the party had just been kind of an afterthought, he was exhausted after all. But now with it looming before him, he started to get worried.
First of all, I don’t like parties. Second, I really don’t like parties. Third, I’ll probably just frighten all the ponies away… Well then, I guess it’ll be a short party.
Thomas started to stretch but that just caused a lot of crunching and scraping and he didn’t feel any different.
The music stopped.
Thomas stood up and looked around.
The hard pointed wooden legs of tables and chairs dotted a corner of the floor of the barn in a symmetrical fashion, a long line of tables stretched across one wall (probably for serving food), and while he couldn’t see the rafters he thought he could hear streamers blowing in the breeze of the open barn door.
“STAND BACK TAVI!” yelled somepony from behind Tom.
Suddenly realizing that he had stood up, unannounced, Thomas hit the deck and threw his hands up in the air. Landing on his face really didn’t hurt as much as he had expected.
Please don’t blast me Scratch, he thought, I’ll change. I’ll learn to like dubstep. I cosplayed as you for Halloween. I really like your mane!
Luckily, Pinkie hopped in at that point. Thomas recognized her trot; it was very light and bouncy. In fact she seemed to weigh less when she was walking than when she was standing still.
She walked over to the table and set a basket of something down then turned to look at the two musicians
“How’s the music coming?” she asked in a happy tone.
“Just fine,” said Scratch, “Right after I take out this monster with my bass cannon.”
Pinkie’s head swiveled around, taking in the whole barn.
“There’s no monster here, silly, just the guest of honor.”
Thomas heard Octavia gasp and Scratch chuckled softly.
“Uh, whoops, sorry man. Don’t take it personally. We get a lot of monsters around here.”
Thomas rolled over, picked up his chalkboard and wrote,
SO I’VE HEARD.
After writing this he could feel Octavia’s heartbeat begin to subside.
Good. I really do love classical music.
Thomas stood up slowly, trying to shift his appearance to be as small as possible.
“Well I’ll leave you three and go get the cupcakes,” said Pinkie, hopping out the door.
Thomas turned his head from habit to watch her leave and then swiveled it back around to face the two musicians. Scratch was fiddling nonchalantly with her sound system and Octavia was cautiously trying to reset up her cello.
Nothing fazes Scratch, but I’d like to get on Octavia's good side.
Thomas wrote something on the board and then, holding it out, stepped slowly towards the makeshift stage.
I REALLY LIKE THE CELLO…
Octavia seemed startled but flattered. Thomas could feel here pulse quicken and could almost feel the rush of blood to her face. He didn’t even need to see her blush.
Scratch on the other hoof, snorted.
“Figures somepony as tough-looking as you would like Octi’s old stuff.”
“I-I’m- Thank you very much,” said Octavia as Thomas picked up her cello for her.
“So how do ya feel about Dubstep?” asked Vinyl.
Thomas tapped his head and then held it like he had a headache.
“Exactly how I feel,” said Octavia, grinning.
“Everypony’s a critic,” said Vinyl, chuckling.
Just then Big Mac came in carrying a large barrel, probably filled with cider.
Thomas was too young to drink anything alcoholic, however at the moment that didn’t really bother him.
He walked over to Big Mac and held out a finger.
Big Mac looked up and knocked his hoof against it.
FORGIVEN.
Big Mac nodded his head and said, “Thanks.”
HELP?
Big Mac thought about that for a second and then nodded his head again and said, “Eeyup.”
Thomas followed Mac outside and down into a cellar right outside the barn. While Mac heaved a large barrel onto his shoulders Thomas scooped up eight barrels in his arms and started towards the door.
Mac stopped him and, setting down his barrel, he stood there for a second thinking.
“Three.”
Thomas nodded. It made sense. This was going to be a small party, hopefully, so they weren’t going to need that much cider. Thomas set five of the barrels down and continued hauling the three barrels out of the cellar.
These barely weigh anything, thought Thomas, carefully weighing the barrels in his arms as he stood there waiting for Mac to tell him where to set them down.
Mac tapped the ground by a table and said, “Here.”
Thomas set them down and looked around the room again. Some new ponies had come in now and he could see their bodies facing him, and their hearts beating rapidly.
Luckily for Thomas Twilight was there as well.
“Remember what I told you Bon-Bon,” said Twilight, looking hard at the Pony on the left, “He’s not a monster.”
“I still can’t believe Celestia told you,” said the pony, glaring at Tom.
“I am a princess now,” said Twilight, “Luna knows as well.”
“It’s almost like he’s got hands,” said the pony on the left.
Oh boy, Lyra. Better be careful around her; I don’t want to give anything away.
“Boy howdy,” came a voice from the doorway, “Would somepony lend me a hoof? I've got a whole lotta’ vittles to set out.”
Thomas focused behind him to see Applejack hooked up to a cart, filled with 'vittles' apparently.
Now I really wish I wasn’t made of stone, thought Thomas as he approached the cart.
He could smell the food, somehow, and it smelled delicious.
I wonder how I can smell the food if I don’t have nostrils.
The smell seemed to be coming from all around him, and when he thought about it he could smell it with most of his body. Running a hand over his arm he felt some soft fuzzy moss growing on his rocky exterior.
So I smell with my 'skin'... Weird.
Thomas stopped in front of AJ and gestured as if asking whether she needed help.
“I don’t know,” said Applejack, unhitching herself from the cart, “I don’t see why not but, how could you help?”
Tom picked up the cart and walked over to the tables with it in his hands.
“Well if that don’t beat all,” said Applejack as she trotted over to the table and started laying out the spread.
“I’ve got more streamers!” yelled Pinkie Pie from outside.
“Hey there Tommy,” she said, tapping Thomas on the ankle, “Could you give me a lift?”
Thomas bent down and let Pinkie hop into his hand, then he stood up and lifted Pinkie up to the rafters.
“Whoa, watch out for those beams,” she said as she ducked her head.
Thomas winced and tried again. He couldn’t really see the rafters that well; they were a very light gray and hazy.
I’m just lucky that this barn’s built so strong, said Thomas to himself, otherwise I probably wouldn’t be able to see them at all.
Just as Pinkie was hanging the last streamer though, a whole hoard of ponies stepped into the barn.
Thomas froze.
Since he wasn’t moving none of the new ponies seemed to pay any attention to him. They milled around talking to each other and sampling the food.
Pinkie tapped Tom’s hand with her hoof and said, “You can put me down now Tommy.”
He didn’t move.
Scenes from when Luna visited during Nightmare Night and the attack of the plunder-seeds kept running through his mind.
Not to mention his social stimulus was off the Richter scale.
I really don’t like parties-I really don’t like parties-I really don’t like parties…
His mind and body were locked in place, completely unable to move.
Pinkie climbed down Tom’s arm and walked over to Twilight.
“I think he’s stuck,” she said.
“Most likely he’s scared of frightening the guests,” answered Twilight, “Pinkie you did tell them all why they're all here, right?”
Pinkie grinned, “Of course Twilight. I told them somepony new had come to Ponyville and was in need of a Pinkie-style welcome party.”
“Somepony new?” said Twilight, her eye twitching.
“Yep,” said Pinkie, nodding her head vigorously, “I told them he’s a little big but he’s got a heart as soft as the Cakes’ heavenly triple layer angel cake.”
Twilight gulped, “I hope that’s enough to keep them calm.”
Just then Rainbow flew in.
“How are things going at the party?” she asked.
“It seems Sugarcupe’s got a big ol’ case of stage fright,” said AJ, handing Rainbow a tankard of cider.
“I’ll fix that,” said Rainbow, handing the tankard back to AJ, “Hold onto this for me though.”
Rainbow walked over to Thomas and sidled up right next to him. Nopony was really paying that much attention to her but she didn’t mind.
Whether or not you did pull a fast one no me last night I’m going to have some sweet revenge.
Rainbow plucked a long feather from her wing and, while trying to appear nonchalant, she started running it up and down Thomas’s right leg.
Nothing happened.
Dang I forgot he’s a rock.
Little did Rainbow know that Thomas had been just short of collapsing in a fit of hysterics.
At first it had tickled a lot. But then, just as he tried to take in a breath of air to laugh out loud, the reality of the situation had struck Thomas and it was like his entire body had gone numb. He couldn’t feel a thing. The world faded to black and Thomas was left standing in the dark.
What’s going on? He thought to himself.
Meanwhile Rainbow had given up trying to elicit some kind of reaction from Tom and trotted back over to her friends.
“Plan B?” she asked.
“Cupcakes?” said Pinkie, holding up a large tray.
“You know, if he’s not going to move I could always make him a new ensemble,” said Rarity.
“I don’t think yer frilly dressmakin’ would fix the situation,” said AJ, rolling her eyes.
“Actually my plan was to mention that and see if that would get him moving. Stallions don’t seem to want ensembles as much as mares,” said Rarity, raising an eyebrow at Thomas.
“I actually don’t think he’s a pony, Rarity,” said Twilight, “But what if I moved him with my magic? Just to get the ball rolling.”
“Come on Twilight, the guy's made out of solid stone. Big Mac couldn’t put a dent in him. What makes you think you can?” said Rainbow.
While the main six discussed ways of loosening up Thomas, Octavia had finished tuning up and stepped forwards.
“Um Vinyl… would you mind if I went first?”
Vinyl lowed her glasses and said, “Trying to get the big guy to join the party?”
“Well he did say he likes the cello.”
“Take it away Octi.”
Octavia placed her bow against the strings of the cello and let the music flow from the instrument through the open space of the barn filled with ponies. Several of them stopped talking or eating to listen but most didn’t pay much attention. Classical was nice but most of them were there to hear Vinyl.
As Octavia played, Vinyl stood back and watched. At first nothing changed but then she could swear she saw the guest of honor twitch.
Keep it going Octi just a little more…
Octavia played beautifully, the rich sound of her cello resounded through the crowd, straight to the ears (or whatever counted as ears) of Thomas.
When he had gone numb he had lost all feeling for the earth around him. He couldn’t see his hand in front of his eyes. It was like he was blindfolded, in a cave, on a foggy night... underwater.
But then through the blackness he could hear music. Deep, soothing cello music.
Oh yeah, thought Thomas to himself, that’s beautiful…
He could feel his muscles loosening, his mind clearing. Feeling started returning to his frame and he could see ponies milling about around him.
At the sight of so many ponies he wanted to clam up again but Octavia’s melody played through his mind, giving him confidence.
This isn’t like parties at home. These are the main six. This is Octavia and Scratch. This is Ponyville!
As Thomas said this last part to himself he felt the numbness drop away and the whole world came into focus around him.
That’s when Vinyl dropped the bass.
Thomas, shocked as the sudden wave of sound, toppled over backwards onto the barn floor.
While the music kept blaring all the other ponies froze and stared at him.
Suddenly the barn was filled with the shrill cries of young fillies, the terrified screams of grown mares and the stomping and snorting of several stallions.
BOOOOM!!!
A loud bass note resounded through the barn and then Scratch began talking through her microphone.
“Hey there everypony! So this next song goes to the guest of honor and my personal friend-” Pinkie jumped up on the stage and whispered something in Vinyl’s ear, “Thomas! Now pick up those hooves and lay ‘em down on the dance floor to my new song Bedrock Beatz.”
A thundering dubstep beat began to blare through the sub-woofers on stage and while a few ponies gave Thomas highly suspicious stares, most just seemed to accept that if DJ-PON3 was friends with the giant stone monster then he must be OK.
Thomas lay there on the floor watching as most of the ponies started dancing to the awful din.
Slowly he slid backwards towards the barn door.
Once he was near enough he rolled out and sat up against the side of the barn.
He couldn’t breathe so taking a deep gasp of air was out of the question, but as he sat there he felt some of the tension begin to leave his body.
“I’m with you. Too many ponies gives me a headache. My sister likes it though.”
Thomas’s head jerked to the right to see Maud sitting there.
I didn’t even feel her sit down! I really am a mess.
Pinkie stuck her head out the door and said, “Hey Maud, Tommy why aren’t you in here with the rest of us?”
“Remember what I told you last time you took me to a party, Pinkie?” said Maud.
“But you were great. You had everyone in stitches.”
You’re the most basic of jokes. Thomas chuckled inwardly.
“I think Thomas is like that friend you told me about,” said Maud, nodding towards Thomas, “He just wants to be left alone a little.”
“You mean Cranky?” said Pinkie, “But he and Matilda are in there cutting up the rug like nopony’s business.”
“Why don’t you give him a little space,” said Maud, “We’ll come in when we’re ready.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie,” said Pinkie and drew her head back into the barn.
"Take as long as you want," said Maud, looking off into the distance.