"Well Miss Dash, I must say, I'm impressed with your performance in our absence." Flam said as he observed the paperwork from the past two weeks. "You've sold some pretty pricey cars and kept the place very clean."
"Well would you just look at that, Flam?" Flim said. "She even sold that stupid little Peel! I was starting to wonder if we'd ever get rid of that thing!"
"Hey, you know, it's nothing I can't handle." Rainbow Dash bragged. "I guess I was just born to sell."
The previous day...
"You know, Fancypants..." Rainbow dash said in a sultry tone. "You'd look sooo hot in this Mercedes."
"Y-you think s-so, Miss?" The rich unicorn stuttered as Rainbow Dash looked up at him, her eyes half lidded.
"Oh, I know so."
Rainbow Dash then proceeded to stand next to Fancy pants and place her right hoof around his shoulder, giving him a good whiff of her perfume. She never usually wore scents before but she figured that in this line of work, it could gain her the upper hoof with stallions and certain mares.
"You see..." She continued. "A stud like you should always try to look his best. With all this new technology taking Equestria by storm lately, it would be a real shame for you to not reach your full potential. There's always gonna be one of those other rich dudes you hang out with who's gonna try to one-up you. If you take one of these beauties right here, you can make it a lot harder for them to do that. Am I right or am I right?"
"H-how much is this, again?" The now sweating and blushing stallion asked.
"Sixty-two thousand."
"Double it."
"I'm still not sure how you managed to sell that Merc for twice our asking price..." Flim began. "...but it certainly looks like you have a knack for this."
"Thank you for holding the fort down for us." Flam said. "We needed that vacation like nopony's business. You may take the rest of the day and tomorrow off, dear."
"Sweet!" Rainbow Dash replied. "Alright, catch you two later."
Rainbow Dash hung up her vest on the hook that jutted out from the wall in the office and took her leave. She had been working hard to pay off the debt she owed and was off to a good start. Not only was she beginning to make a good dent in her tab, but she was actually enjoying the job.
"What do you think she's doing to sell all the most expensive cars we have, Flam?" Flim asked his brother.
"Beats me, Flim." Flam replied. "All I know is she has a technique down and one that wor-"
"Help! Help!" A voice yelled from outside the office door.
As soon as Flim and Flam looked into the voice's general direction, a lavender colored mare burst through the front door, slammed it shut and frantically darted into the drawer of a large filing cabinet. Shortly after, a small crowd of ponies wielding cameras ran by the window. After a moment of trying to mentally process what just happened, the mare in question slowly opened the drawer.
"Are they gone?" The obviously upset mare whimpered as her horn poked out from her hiding spot.
"I think so, madame." Flim replied as he looked out the window to see nopony in sight.
"Who were those lunatics?" Flam asked.
"Paparazzi." The mare answered as she emerged from the filing cabinet, revealing her wings.
The two brothers could not believe their eyes. Their guest was an alicorn princess and she was hiding from crazed paparazzi in their office. As odd as the day was beginning to turn out, it was certainly an honor to have a member of royalty seek cover in their humble auto store.
"Princess Twilight!" The brothers exclaimed in unison as they bowed.
"Gentlecolts, will you please not do that?" Twilight asked. "I appreciate the gesture but if there's one thing I'll never get used to, it's ponies bowing before me. It's just...not who I am."
"Don't be so modest, your majesty." Flam said as he and Flim got back off the floor. "Being a princess is something you should emb-"
"Please, just call me Twilight. Really guys, I'm at my wits end with all this. I'm still the same girl I always was. The title hasn't changed who I am at all."
"Well that's really sweet of you, your ma-er Twilight." Flim said.
"Thank you. You see, that's kind of why I'm here. I was trotting over when I started getting followed by all those ponies. Now that almost everypony in town has gotten a vehicle of their own though, I think the time is right for me to do the same."
"Um, forgive me, miss but I'm not sure if we have the type of car you'd be looking for."
"I agree." Flam added. "We haven't any Rolls Royces in stock and we don't expect to be getting any in for quite some time."
"You see, Twilight, your friend Rainbow Dash has sold most of our cars that would be fit for you."
"Oh I know you guys have just what I'm looking for." Twilight assured. "Let's just go outside and I'll point it out to you."
After looking in all directions for any signs of crazed fan ponies, The brothers signaled to their royal customers that the coast was clear. The three of them trotted out of the office with Twilight in the lead. Much to the salesponies' surprise and confusion, Twilight made here way towards the standard, common, every day, bit a dozen, average pony Joe cars.
"Gentlecolts..." Twilight began. "I bet you two are wondering why I waited for everypony else to buy a car before I did."
Both brothers nodded. They were curious as to why a princess of all ponies would make it a point to be the last to purchase a piece of technology that was taking their world by storm.
"I figured that if I bought one earlier, then everypony would flip out and try to buy the same model or something. Now that everypony already has one of their own, they won't be so apt to do so. Make sense?"
Again, both brothers nodded as they listened intently to Twilight's reasoning behind her plans.
"Also, as you two proved just a minute ago, everypony probably thinks that I'm going to get some big, extravagant luxury car. No. What I want is something reliable, reasonably priced, efficient and most importantly, as average as possible."
"So what you're saying is you just want a basic, plain car?" Flam asked. "Nothing fancy?"
"Precisely. I want Equestria to know that I'm still the pony I've always been and the Princess title hasn't changed that. I figured that buying a common car would be a good place to start."
"Alright then, Twilight, we'd be delighted to help you find one." Flim said. "What body style did you have in mind?"
"An everyday sedan. Four doors and a trunk. As average as one can get. Like this one for example."
"Ah, the 2012 Chevrolet Impala." Flam began. "With a 3.5 litre dual overhead camshaft V6 engine and front wheel drive, you can't go wrong."
"One of the best sellers and very practical indeed." Flim added. "Um, may I ask what you're doing to it?"
The salesponies watched as Twilight used her aura to pop the hood open, take the engine components apart and closely examine each part. Neither of them knew what to make of it. Normally, anypony disassembling their merchandise would be thrown off of the property but this one was a princess though a very humble and modest one. Be that as it may, she still had a royal title and the brothers were not about to scold her for trying to get a close look at what she was looking to purchase.
"Hmm...quite the impressive intake system here." Twilight said as she pulled the cylinder head off the top of the engine block. "These valves look to be of high quality. This car would be great for me but on second thought, I'd prefer something that wasn't loaded with all these power options. If you have something with manual crank windows, I'd like to see it. Also, a somewhat smaller one would be great."
As quickly as she disassembled the engine, Twilight used her magic to place everything back together just the way she found it. The brothers watched in awe as every piece down to the last nut and bolt was effortlessly clicked back into place.
"No problem at all, Miss." Flam replied.
"Further down the line is something that I think you'll particularly like." Flam added. "Let's take a look at that 2007 Ford Taurus over there."
"Oh, that one does look nice." Twilight said as she trotted towards the silver sedan.
"The 3.0 litre V6 this car has is known for durability and longevity." Flim said.
"It's the base model and it's one of the most common cars on the road today." Flam added. "It's safe, reliable, easy to get parts for and with twenty-six miles per gallon, you never know how far you c-"
"That's odd." Twilight said. "Rarity's massive boat get's twenty-six miles to the gallon. This thing's half the size and gets the same? Sorry, gentlecolts but my search continues."
Twilight continued to trot down the line of cars with Flim and Flam waiting ever so patiently for her to make her decision. If there was ever a customer they would want to avoid putting pressure on, the lavender alicorn that trotted ahead of them was one of them. However modest and down to Earth this one may be, she was still a very important pony. That hard fact could simply not be denied.
"Hey this one looks nice and simple." Twilight said as she trotted over to a small Dodge and proceeded to take the engine apart, piece by piece. "Can you tell me more about it?"
"Certainly." Flam answered. "This is a 2005 Dodge Neon. Very easy and cheap to fix should it ever need repairs."
"Oh, I've read about these. They ranked pretty low on safety tests. It's not too bad but it, wait...what's all this gunk under the valve cover?"
Curious and somewhat worried about what Twilight was talking about, Flim and Flam rushed over to investigate the "gunk" in question. They looked down into the engine compartment and sure enough, they saw globs of black sludge stuck in the engine. Many Dodge engines were notorious for having such problems and since their customer had pointed it out, both brothers made a mental note to get the car into the garage to have the valves cleaned.
"We'll get this taken care of promptly, Miss Twilight." Flim said.
"No worries." Twilight replied. "I'd prefer something a bit safer anyway. Did you hear the news about that pony who crashed one of these in Manehattan on Monday?"
Earlier in the week...
"I was asked to be there to provide moral support to his friends." Twilight said. "The whole scene was really...hard to look at."
"I heard about that." Flim said as he took off his hat, his brother quickly following suit. "How tragic..."
"That poor guy..." Flam said.
"He's in a better place now. Sorry, I brought this up. It's kind of depressing, real-is that a Corolla?"
Twilight was not usually one to get distracted, especially while talking about a recent tragedy in Equestria but the vehicle that caught her attention was just too good to ignore. She trotted over to the light gray compact sedan and once again took a hooves on approach by taking it apart.
"I like this one." Twilight said as she pulled a piston out of one of the cylinder bores. "You see, guys...when looking for a car, I among other savvy consumers like to know absolutely everything about what we're about to spend money on. A car must be efficient, safe, practical, comfortable and matching to the buyers personality."
"Is she...lecturing us?" Flam asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Indeed." Flim replied. "She's been known to do that from time to time."
"I intend on getting to know every little thing about this." Twilight continued. "Nice, it's a 2009, not too old, not too new. Four cylinders, thirty-six miles to the gallon. Judging by the scratches on the cylinder walls...or rather their complete lack thereof, this particular specimen must have been well maintained by the previous owner. I'd estimate that this one has about...twenty-nine thousand miles?"
"Miss Twilight, that's..." Flam began. "Incredible! It has twenty-nine thousand and ninety-two on it!"
"That's amazing!" Flim exclaimed. "You're a genius!"
"Oh jeez, guys." Twilight said as she blushed. "I don't know about genius but I've spent a lot of time studying. Anyway, I have made my decision. I will take this car."
"Hooray!" Flim and Flam beamed as they both jumped up into the air and froze into a motionless hover.
"Uh, how are you two doing that?" Twilight asked.
"I uh, I don't know." Flam replied.
"Can you come down?"
"I don't think so. I think we're stuck up here!"
"Flam, I'm scared!" Flim whimpered. "What are we going to do?!"
"You two just hold on!" Twilight said as she began galloping away. "I'll go get help!"
After returning with members of Ponyville's fire department, Twilight helped Flim and Flam get safely back onto solid ground. After embracing each other after what they felt was a near death experience, the salesponies then made the deal. The paperwork was signed, the check made out and Twilight was on her way home to enjoy her new vehicle.
The next day was sure to be an interesting one to say the least. Flim and Flam had just sold a car to a princess and finally ended the nation's highly anticipated wait. Most ponies thought Princess Twilight would buy an extravagant luxury car but instead saw her driving a common Toyota. The brothers knew that their most recent sale would be all over the news and the two bought a paper on their way to work where they proceeded to read it together in their office.
"Wow, check out this headline, Flim." Flam said.
"Let me have a look at that." Flim replied.
Pretty Purple Pony Princess Purchases Perfect Prize.
After being relentlessly chased by paparazzi yesterday afternoon, Princess Twilight Sparkle was later spotted driving what appeared to be a modestly late model Toyota Corolla. Sources say that the vehicle was purchased at Ponyville's Flim Flam Bros. Used Autos Inc. Citizens first reacted with confusion as to why a member of royalty would settle for a common compact rather than a luxury car more fit for such a pony. Later however, the confusion was replaced by excitement as ponies travel in large herds to their nearest dealership to purchase the same car.
"Holy cow, Flam!" Flim exclaimed. "These ponies are acting more like sheep!"
"I'll say!" Flam replied. "Oh, look at this one!"
"This one right here?"
Equine obesity rates at an all time high. Are cars to blame?
"No, not that one. The one next to it."
Toyota Corolla sales skyrocket.
Since Princess Twilight Sparkle's recent purchase of a Toyota Corolla, thousands of Equestrian citizens begin a relentless search for the same exact model. The princess herself was interviewed and provided the following commentary.
"Please, don't do something just because I'm doing it! This is exact opposite of what I wanted to happen! Please, I'm begging you! Just be yourselves and leave me alone!"
"This is terrible!" Flam exclaimed. "They're going to drive that poor girl into the nuthouse!"
"Uh, Flam?" Flim said. "I think she may have found a way out. Take a look at this."
Princess Sparkle contemplates resignation.
"Oh dear Celestia in Canterlot, what have we done?!"