Kichi's comment
You decide to talk with these "Cutie Mark Crusaders" some more. After all, you're now a hero to them and they still give a little of love. It's not as much as it was a few moments ago (you had to consume that love to heal your Chimera-broken ribs), but it's enough as friendly love. You're about to talk to the fillies when you suddenly notice that one of them is gone.
"Wait... Wasn't there three of yo-"
You're interrupted when you sense someling messing with your Saddlebags and you turn to see the yellow filly with the bow rummaging through your Saddlebags and taking out your Old Bottle of Wine.
"Hey, What's this stuff?" Ask Apple Bloom
"Hey! Keep your hooves to yourself!" you snap in alarm as you grab the bottle out of her hooves.
"Sorry Mistah 815, but I was thinking that maybe you had some sorta strange changeling item that could give us all cutie marks. What's in that bottle anyway?"
"It's uuuuhhh... Medicine, yeah, right... It's a little medicine" You decide to lie as you don't want to explain what is alcohol to the children. Changing the topic, you declare,
"Anyway- my new pony name will be Ritz DeWitt!"
"Ritz, DeWitt." the fillies all say, trying out the name.
"Hmmm... I guess it works." Applebloom replies.
"Yeah, now you can go into Ponyville with us!" Scootaloo adds and is about to head into town when...
SnapDrakeGames's comment
"Hold on a minute, let me get this straight," you say to the fillies with a deadpan expression, "Your plan is to walk a changeling into a town in a country where my entire species is on wanted posters, wake the entire population in the middle of the night, and then somehow convince all these grumpy pre-coffee-ed ponies that a creature that looks exactly like the ones who invaded two weeks ago A.) Isn't evil and B.) Shouldn't be killed on sight."
"Yep!" they all obliviously and cheerfully respond. You just give them a deadpan look and snark,
"And while we're at it, why don't we polish some torches, wrap some pitchforks in salt-covered barb wire, and, I don't know, maybe tie a lovely silk noose for- Wait!" you cry, interrupting your own sarcastic rambling when you remembering something the crusaders had said before. "When you said 'Twilight,' did you mean Twilight Sparkle; Unicorn, possible OCD, huge bookworm, Element of Magic, Leader of the Bearers of the Element of Harmony, Personal Student of Princess Celestia, L.S.B.F.F. (2) of Royal Guard Captain (and technical Prince) Shining Armor, AND who you said took on and beat my Queen single-hoofedly?!!!"
The foals nod, and your mind clouds with fear.
"Oh buck oh buck oh buck! This is so not horrorshow, this is so un-horrorshow it's a bucking G-rated sugary foal's comedy! Oh motherbuc-!"
"Calm down, Mistah changeling," Applebloom says. "Miss Twilight is always understanding and kind and caring and-"
"Calm down!?" you scream. "Kid, 'Miss Twilight' and her friends single-hoofedly took out a platoon of changelings during the Canterlot Invasion. A whole bucking platoon! Therefore, the plan is now: I hide out on a train and get the buck out of dodge before everyling brings Tartarus crashing down on me!"
"Uh- sir?" Sweetie Belle interrupts. "Why would you be getting out of Dodge? We're not in Dodge Junction."
You facehoof before muttering,
"Someling remind me how we got our flanks kicked by these creatures... Twice..."
Love the Changeling's comment
After rubbing off your face with the facehoof, you say,
"So my only options are staying in the Everfree, where everything and anything would try to maim, kill, or eat me, or stay in Ponyville, where the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony live?"
The Crusaders nod their heads.
"The same Bearers that are on high alert for changelings and would likely squash me on sight?"
They all look at each other, turn back to you and hesitantly nod.
All is silent for a few seconds, until Scootaloo asks, "Well, if being found is the problem, why don't you just disguise yourself?"
"The only issue with that is that I can't right now, it's on the fritz," You tell them, "Any other ideas?"
A few more seconds pass,
"Well, we could try hiding you in the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse," Sweetie Belle pipes up, "It's not in Ponyville itself, nopony really bothers us out there, and you can eat the apples that grow on the tree."
Huh, it sounds like it would be the perfect place to stay, and it has free food!, You think to yourself, It's either there or in the dark, spooky forest where the chimera lives.
After mentally debating it to yourself, you figure that it's the best you're going to get, at least for now,
"Well then let-"
"Maybe we'll get our Cutie Marks" Apple Bloom gasps.
"Hay yeah! You know what this means?!" Scootaloo beams.
"Oh no..." You say as you start to get a sinking feeling in your gut.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CHANGELING SMUGGLERS YAY!" They all shout in unison.
As you're trying to get over your temporary deafness you manage to offhoofedly comment,
"On second thought, I heard the Everfree is lovely this time of yea-"
But before you can make a run for it though, you find yourself being dragged along by three surprisingly strong fillies.
"So... Clubhouse it is I guess." you mutter.
Erised the ink-moth's comment
Now we find you walking with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo as they lead you back to their clubhouse.
"So how are we supposed to reform a changeling anyway?" Sweetie asks.
"Well it can't be all that hard." Scootaloo says with a wave of her hoof "Rainbow Dash and her friends deal with friendship problems all the time, so we'll just treat this like one of those."
"I dunno, Scoots, most of the time stuff gets blown up before they solve anything." Applebloom reminds her "Remember that one time that traveling showmare showed up and started bragging about how great she was? It took an Ursa nearly flattening the town just for Twilight to get over being good at magic."
This town sounds like those cartoons where the characters get into misadventures that could have been avoided with the properly placed sentence or two. you mentally snark.
"Speaking of magic, why can't we just magic him nice?" Scootaloo suggests "It worked with Princess Luna when she was Nightmare Moon."
Your eyes widen as you think,
Wait a minute, are these fillies seriously suggestin-
"You mean like mind control?" Sweetie asks unsurely.
Cruel Chrysalis! These fillies ARE planning to mind rape me! RUN BITCH, RUUUUN! you mentally panic and are about to make a break for it when Apple Bloom says,
"That don't seem very ni-"
"Hay yeah! That would work for sure!" Scootaloo cuts her off, but then quickly deflates "Only... we don't have anything like that."
Thank Chrysalis. you think as you breath a sigh of relief and rejoin the fillies.
Sweetie takes the opportunity to speak up slowly. "We could just try being nice to him." she suggests. You like this idea way more than magic mind control and the others seem to be thinking it over.
"Hmm... nah. What are the chances that would work?" Scootaloo dismisses.
"Ain't there any other ideas?" Applebloom asks.
"Why don't you girls try asking the changeling who's right behind you." you snark in annoyance, having had enough of them talking behind your back (even though they're technically in front of you).
This causes the fillies to all look at you in shock that turns to guilt.
"Oh, sorry Mistah changeling- I mean Mistah..." she says trying to remember your new name.
"Ritz DeWitt, but you can just call me Ritz." you say before you give a sigh as you think,
Yeah... I don't have to be a psychic to tell there's gonna be ALOT of pain in my future...
Make sure not to overextend yourself until your wounds heal. Try to get more information about the other changelings first before making some convoluted plan regarding them. Oh, and get a disguise. One that actually works.
BrownDog77's comment
"I give you... the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse!" Apple Bloom proudly announces when it comes into view.
When you arrive at the clubhouse, you see that it's a treehouse in an apple tree with an extra outpost on the very top.
"Dibs on the outpost." (3) you comment as the four of you enter the clubhouse. As Applebloom lights a lantern, you say,
"Thanks for the hideout girls, but I'm pretty sure I'll have to go into town for some reason or another eventually and last I checked, my disguise spell is on the fritz and I'm not exactly Cosmare's Sexist Stallion Alive."
"Actually, my big sister makes clothes-" Sweetie Belle responds when Scootaloo interrupts.
"Yeah, there's bound to be clothes lying around you could use for a disguise." Scootaloo interrupts.
You ponder for a moment before replying,
"Hmmm... That could work, but I can't just slap on any t-shirt. At the very least, I need something to cover my holy limbs," you say as you hold up your changeling arms to emphasize your pun, "as well as my wings and the lower half of my face, but you don't have to do that as I'm NOT gonna get you girls in trouble stealing clothes for m-"
You swore you saw a lightbulb appear over Sweetie Belle's as she gasps,
"Mr. DeWitt, wait here! Girls, follow me!" before she, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo zip off.
You just shrug this off and say to yourself,
"Might as well get some reading done while waiting..."
And with that you take out "The Dao of the River" book from your saddlebags...
ONE FAILED READING ATTEMPT AND 7 APPLES LATER
You tried to read some more of the book (specifically a mind-influencing technique called "Inspire Hate"), but the fact that the only lighting was a lantern makes the book even more difficult to read so you gave up and decided to practice your "Force Pull" on the apples hanging from the branches of the treehouse. You just shoved another core into your mouth and are about to Force Pull another apple to you when,
"Here you go Mr. DeWitt!"
"Gah-ack!" you exclaim in surprise and choke on the apple core you were munching on. Fortunately, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom start pounding on your back and you cough it up.
"Are you okay Mistah?" Apple Bloom asks in concern.
"I'm fine... I'm fine..." you reassure them while breathing heavily, "You really shouldn't surprise a bug while he's eating."
You look up and your eyes widen when you see Sweetie Belle presenting you with a black suit with black pants, a white cuff shirt, and a red tie along with a red scarf, "This should go great with your hat."
"Thank you so much." you say gratefully as you put the clothes on.
It's a bit large on you, but it's very comfortable and if it's one thing that Pony of Interest, Burnt Notice, How I Met Your Father, Kingstallions, ZZ Top and every Tarantino and Bond film all agree on: It's that a nice suit goes a long way.
This suit is exactly like Agent 47's suit in the Hitmane franchise! Great games, terrible movies.
As you inspect the suit you ask, "This look great girls, but where did you find them?"
"Well, a mysterious bald stallion with a bandage where his Cutie Mark should be came into my sister's store two weeks ago and paid 2000 Bits in advance for-" Sweetie Belle answers.
"Woah, woah, woah!" you interrupt in shock, "Let me get this straight, you stole an expensive suit from your sister?!" you ask.
"Actually, the stallion sent another letter yesterday with 500 Bits in it telling Rarity to just burn the suit and forget that she ever made it or saw him.(4)"
"Asking Rarity to burn a suit? He might as well have asked Pinkie Pie to throw away a batch of freshly-baked cupcakes." Scootaloo comments.
"And the scarf?"
"Just a scarf we found in her 'Last Season' pile." Sweetie Belle answers.
Nodding at this explanation, you then put on the red scarf. Feeling like an old pulp hero, you then proceed to declare,
"Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of ponies? *evil laugh* The shadow knows!"
All 3 of the fillies give you concerned looks.
"Um... You might not want to do that." Apple Bloom comments.
"Yeah, you're kinda scary when you do that." Scootaloo adds.
"And you'll just draw more unnecessary attention." Sweetie Belle concludes.
"Anyway, Allow me to show you just some of the highlights of our clubhouse..." Apple Bloom offers.
ONE TOUR LATER
Erised the ink-moth's comment
Once they've finished giving you a humorous tour of the clubhouse, you decide to bring up a concern.
"Just to be clear, you fillies won't tell anyling about me, Ritz DeWitt, actually being a changeling, right?"
"Of course not."
"We Pinkie Promise"
"Even though we don't know what an 'anyling' is."
"Pinkie Promise?" you ask with a confused head tilt.
"It's how we make promises here." Apple Bloom says before all three of them proceed to perform a series of odd gestures while saying,
"Cross our hearts and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in our eyes."
After taking in this strange pony ritual (5), you look out the window and realize that it's still the middle of the night and these three fillies are definitely out past their bedtime so you ask,
"Excuse me, but aren't pony foals supposed to have bedtimes? It's the middle of the night so aren't your parents going to be worried about you three being out this late?"
...
Big mistake. After a tense pause, all the air in the room is sucked up by the fillies' collective gasp before it suddenly explodes into a hurricane of panic as the crusaders run around the room yelling,
"I'M IN SO MUCH TROUBLE!"
"I JUST GOT MY SCOOTER BACK FROM MY LAST GROUNDING!"
"APPLEJACK'S GONNA TAN MY TAIL FOR THIS!"
"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!!!" they scream.
"Cruel Chrysalis, what have I done..." you whine while rubbing your ears.
What are you going to do?