Buck, I’m tired.
I could seriously die on this couch right now. I’m not going to move ever again. If I die, nopony would notice because I’m literally too tired to lift a feather.
Want to know why?
I’ll tell you why: I’ve been working double shifts of weather duty for six months. Six. Bucking. Months. If somepony had told me last year that I would be working like this, I would have thrown a hoof at their muzzle.
But I need to. I need the money, and I don’t think I have to tell you why.
Wow, night time already...
I was lying there, slumped on the couch and probably looking as though somepony had dropped me into that position and you couldn’t make me move if you promised me the world (I wouldn’t want the world anyway – I’d want the sky) and I felt something pressing into my back. And buck me if it didn’t feel absolutely amazing.
Seriously. It was like sex for my back. I felt as if I was about to melt. I just closed my eyes and felt myself slide into a world of complete and total bliss, and when I opened them again it was to see two brilliant rose-coloured eyes, identical to mine.
They twinkled with mischief as their owner pulled me into another of the soft lipped, rainbow-flavoured kisses I had fallen in love with.
“What was that for?” I asked when we broke apart.
“The kiss or the massage?” asked Dashie.
“Both,” I said. “I mean, they came out of nowhere. I’m just lying here on the couch wondering how the buck I’m not asleep already and the hottest mare in Equestria gives me a backrub.”
Dashie blushed adorably.
“Well, you’ve been working so hard lately,” she said. “I think you deserve a little reward.”
“If working a double shift means I get a backrub and a kiss, then maybe I should start working triple shifts,” I joked, but Dashie held up a hoof for silence and placed a hoof on her stomach. When I tried to ask what she was doing, she shushed me, and then took my hoof in hers and placed it upon her swollen abdomen.
For a few seconds, I wondered if the hormonal imbalance had finally driven her loony.
Then I felt something in the shape of a tiny hoof press against the side of my foreleg.
It was one of the most magical moments of my life. Even if I try my hardest (which I won’t) I’m never going to forget it.
It’s hard to believe it’s already been ten months since she told me she was pregnant. The first thing I thought was that I could not have been more screwed if I tied myself to a giant drill, but I guess things worked out in the end.
Please don’t ask me how, because I’m not too sure myself, but I know I started working double shifts half a year ago to pull in extra money, which means that when I get home I can barely move off the couch because I’m so exhausted.
Dashie always makes me feel better.
I guess I must have grown up a lot over the past almost-a-year. If it had been twelve months ago I would probably have freaked out about her present maternal state and moved to Gryphonvale, but as it is I’m still here, and so is she.
It took me nearly two hours to assure her that things were going to work out after she told me she was knocked up. She was so scared everypony was going to judge her and abandon her. We’re even more alike than I’d assumed: I know that’s what I would expect if it were me.
Imagine it. Me pregnant...
AAAARRRGGH! BRAIN BLEACH! BRAIN BLEACH!! GIVE ME THE BRAIN BLEACH!!!
Holy buck, that was horrifying!
I wonder if Dashie knew I was too tired to move, because when she finished rubbing my back (blissful, if I didn’t say so before) she rolled me over and lay on my stomach, cuddling right up against me almost as she had almost eleven months ago, when this all began.
I looked out the window at the night sky as a cool breeze blew past the window. I couldn’t feel it, but I knew it was cool because this was the beginning of winter. Just to clarify, I almost won the Running of the Leaves a couple of weeks ago, but Bubble Berry beat me.
And I did not see that coming.
“You cold?” I asked.
“Nah,” said Dashie, “not anymore.”
I somehow summoned up just enough strength to put my foreleg over her shoulders in a one legged hug, and she put one of her hooves on my shoulder. I’ve never felt so comfortable in my whole life.
“It’s hard to believe I’m gonna be a dad in a week,” I said to break the ensuing silence.
“You think it’s hard to believe?” said Dashie. “You’re not the one who has to-”
“Whoa, too much information there, Dashie!” I mean, I know what she was going to say, but I really didn’t want to hear her say it. Would you if you were me? Didn’t think so.
“Sorry,” she said with a giggle.
“Do you think it’ll be a colt or a filly?” I asked, because truth be told I’d been wondering for a while.
“I don’t mind,” Dashie confessed. “All that matters is that we’ll be together.”
Hadn’t thought about it that way.
She’s right of course. So long as the kid’s born without any problems it doesn’t really matter what gender he or she is.
Wow. Who’d have thought I’d someday find myself lying exhausted on the couch with the hottest mare in Equestria lying on my stomach cuddling me? Not to mention she’s having my foal.
I could fall asleep here – I think Dashie already has – and nopony would be able to stop me. Her coat is so soft, and her body is so warm, she’s more like a rather heavy bed sheet than anything else. When you’re used to it you hardly notice the bump.
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and the baby’s kicking, and it brings back memories of that horrible blizzard, where me and Dashie were convinced we were going to die in that tiny cave under a tree, and nopony else knew where we were.
Dusk told me later that the temperature had reached -35º, and if it had just been one of us, on our own, we would have died of hypothermia long before we were found. In a way I saved both our lives.
Then he left, telling me (and I quote) that Twilight needed him for ‘something’ and his face had been bright red at the time. I don’t need his brains to figure out that he was totally banging her (and he’s smart, so he’d probably use a you-know-what). Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have sex with a nerd...
Not Dusk, of course, or even Twilight. Just any nerd. I mean, they do a lot of studying, right? On loads of different things, as well, including...
Including...
Buck it, I’m too tired.
May as well get comfy; looks like I might be here all night. And you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Blitz?”
She’s awake? I could have sworn she was sleeping. Did I fall asleep? If so, how long was I out?
“What is it?” I asked. “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know,” said Dashie, and she clutched a hoof to her stomach. “I think- I think- Blitz; I think the baby’s coming.”
What?
“Right now?!”
“No, last week. Of course right now!”
It took me half a second to decide what to do. Even though I was still tapped out, I wrapped my hooves around her and flew straight out the door.
“Stay calm,” I all but commanded, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”
“Hurry!”
It’s too early. It’s too bucking EARLY. She’s not due until next week! One more week! We aren’t ready!
And why didn’t she tell me sooner? Doesn’t it, like, start a few hours before the baby actually comes out? Oh man, this is so bucking messed up. I told her to stay calm, but what about me? Listen to me, I’m panicking here!
Right, just stay calm...
Man, it’s cold tonight. Not as cold as it was eleven months ago, but still pretty cold. I can see Dashie’s breath in front of her (but not mine, because I’m flying straight through it) and I felt her wince as she was hit by another contraction.
“Are you sure this is the right way?”
“Yeah, look, it’s right there!”
I didn’t want to fly too quickly because I didn’t want to hurt Dashie or the baby, but I swear I almost broke those doors off their hinges on the way through.
“Nurse! Doctor! ANYPONY!” I shouted. “My marefriend’s having a baby here!”
Oh buck, Dusk was right: I should have done some research. How was I to know the doctors would swarm around us and drag Dashie out of my sight? I tried to follow her and got as far as the maternity ward, but they pushed me away and the last thing I saw was her reaching out for me before the door swung closed in my face.
BUCK IT!
Why didn’t they let me in? I’m the kid’s dad, aren’t I? And how long is this going to bucking take?
I looked at the clock. 2am.
No wonder I’m still tired...
But what about her? Waking up in the middle of the night would mean she’s exhausted already, and I’ve heard that having a foal can really wear you out, but-
Somepony’s coming. I can hear them in the corridor.
Weird thing is, I’ve got a feeling it’s somepony I know. Wait, no, make that plural: there’s definitely two sets of hooves. Sounds like... one is heavier than the other – maybe a stallion and a mare? It isn’t very easy to tell-
“Blitz?”
Wait a minute...
What is he- what are THEY doing here?
“Dusk?” I know it’s rather unnecessary to ask if it’s him, because I’m pretty sure the Changelings’ comeback would have been more dramatic, but that’s what you do in a situation like this.
Question is; what are he and Twilight doing in the hospital at two o’clock in the morning?
“Blitz, what’re you doing here?” asked Twilight as she and her male self approached. “It’s two o’clock in the morning!”
I nodded at the nearby door and said “Take a wild guess.”
It was rather funny to see their expressions change from confusion to shock, and finally settle on understanding. Rather than leaving, like I’d expected, they sat down next to me with Twilight settling (apparently rather comfortably) into Dusk’s shoulder.
“You should get some sleep,” he told her. “It’s probably going to be a long night.”
“Like it hasn’t been already,” she said, and seconds later she was snoozing gently with her muzzle in his neck.
It’s alright for them. Dusk doesn’t have to worry about Twilight having a foal and neither does she. What about me? I feel like punching the wall, but knowing me I’d probably knock a hole right through it.
But seriously, if I don’t punch something soon I’m going to explode- hang on.
“Dusk,” I asked, “what are you and Twilight doing in the hospital in the middle of the night?”
And again, his face flushed bright red.
“Nothing,” he said (way too quickly). “We weren’t doing anything.”
“You just happened to be in the hospital?”
“...Yes?”
“At 2am.”
“...uh, I guess.”
“For no reason?”
“Yeah.”
“No reason at all?”
It’s very hard to look innocent whilst your eyes are darting shiftily from side to side, and Dusk was definitely failing like buck.
Despite the situation, and even though I know he’s my friend, I came this close to exploding with laughter.
“Why are you even asking?” he asked me. “You’ve got more important things to worry about; your female double is having your baby-”
“You think I don’t know that?” I demanded. “I’m the one-” gotta lower my voice in case I wake up Twilight “-I’m the one who had to carry her here! I thought I was going to drop her!”
I glanced at the doors Dashie had disappeared through, and something else hit me:
“Shouldn’t we be able to hear something?”
“I think the delivery rooms are soundproofed,” Dusk explained, “unless you’d like to hear your marefriend screaming in more agony than you could ever imagine.”
He’s got a point – Dashie screaming is the last thing I want to hear – but it would be comforting to hear something. Instead I’m stuck out here in the bucking corridor, in almost total silence, and there’s nothing I can do.
I looked back at Dusk. The redness had more or less vanished from his face, but he still looked worried. Worried about what though? He’s Lord Solaris’ prized student and probably the most powerful bucking unicorn in all of Equestria, if not the entire universe.
I looked at the clock. 2:15.
It’s only been fifteen minutes? Could have been fifteen months, or fifteen years! I can’t remember the last time I was this impatient.
Maybe I’ll be able to hear something if I press my ear up against the door.
“No use,” said Dusk without even looking round, “it’s probably magic. You wouldn’t be able to hear anything even if you used a stethoscope.”
Buck it, he’s right. Even when I shove my hoof in my ear I can’t hear a single bucking thing. Hang on, what’s he doing? He’s laid Twilight down in one of the chairs, and...
Is that a photograph or a note or what? Whatever it is, he seems kinda upset by it. I’ve never heard anypony sigh that heavily before.
“What’s that?”
He tried to stash it away.
“Oh, it’s... nothing... much... honestly. Don’t think you’d be interested in it.”
“Well,” I said, “whatever it is, it must be pretty interesting if you’re being so cagey about it. Lemme have a look.”
“No.”
“Oh, come on.” I need something to distract me. I can’t just spend however long waiting for the kid to arrive, and trying to get a peek of something my friend’s holding is as good a diversion as any.
And why is Dusk trying to hide it?
“I said no!” he insisted.
“Please?”
“No!”
“I said please. It can’t be anything too major, let me see!”
“NO MEANS NO!”
Maybe trying to take the... whatever it is away from Dusk wasn’t such a good idea after all. I think- I think it’s lucky we’re in a hospital, because he may have just cracked one of my ribs. Can’t catch a break, can I?
“Okay!” I wheezed. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, that was a stupid thing to do, I’m sorry!”
“You know,” said Dusk, “most ponies would start pacing or look out the window – or maybe look out the window while pacing – but for some reason you seem intent on invading my privacy.”
“I said I’m sorry!”
Ow. Moving hurts. Feels like my chest’s about to crack open.
“So am I,” said Dusk. “Are you okay?”
“Why did you have to buck me so hard? I think you cracked one of my ribs!”
Now his horn’s glowing: he’s checking me for injuries, I think. Complete and total weirdness overload. I thought the pain was bad, but now it feels like a swarm of ants is making a new home just under my skin. Oh gross, it looks like my skin’s bubbling!
Oh, wait, it’s just Dusk’s magic.
“Don’t worry,” he said eventually, “nothing’s broken. I guess I’m a bit of a weakling.”
His eyes darted over to Twilight, but she was still fast asleep. Lucky filly.
“Why don’t you want to tell my why you’re here?” I asked.
“It’s...” He paused, searching for the right word, “...personal.”
“And it involves her?”
Rather than answering, he simply nodded.
It’s obvious he’s hiding something; something personal enough for him to not want to share it with one of his closest friends. Normally I would keep bugging him until he spilt the beans, but right now I’ve got more important things on my mind.
See? What did I say? Hole in the wall.
“You know, you should probably get some sleep as well,” said Dusk. “It’s not like there’s anything you can do.”
“You think I don’t know that?” I asked him. “It’s not your marefriend who’s having your bucking baby! I just-”
I don’t know how to say it without looking like a wimp.
“I’m scared, okay?”
There. Said it. And now he probably thinks I’m an idiot. He’ll say: what have I got to be afraid of? And he’ll probably give some statistic about foals being born safely in hospitals or something, and talk about the fact that Dashie and I are the same pony from different dimensions. And I’ll get bored and start sarcastic snoring like I normally do.
Still only 2:25. It feels like I’ve been up for hours already. I’m just gonna sit here at this window until I die.
So many clouds...
“I don’t blame you.”
I didn’t have to look to know that Dusk had sat down next to me, joining me in my pointless gaze out the window.
“If it was Twilight having a baby I would be out of my mind,” he confessed. “I’d be scared, impatient, probably pacing and trying to avoid doing what you just did to the wall to anypony who happened to pass.”
I heard a doctor pass behind us, and felt his gaze upon my back, but when I gave him a Butterscotch-style glare he turned away and tried to act as if nothing had happened.
It’s starting to rain. I can see the drops sparkling as they fall past the window and catch the light coming from the hospital. It’s quite pretty really. And not just that: it’s actually making a rainbow. A small rainbow which seems brighter than anything I’ve ever seen.
“There’s a name for that,” said Dusk, catching on to what I was looking at.
“Really?” I asked.
He nodded and said “Aurora Spectralis. A rainbow which appears brighter than it actually is, often because it occurs at night. They can come from unnatural light sources, but most are made by moonlight. Literally, a rainbow of light. You know, rainbows themselves are caused by light refraction...”
Thank you, Dusk Shine, for making something that was unusual and in a way strangely beautiful sound way too scientific for my liking. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.
He must have caught on to what I was thinking, because it wasn’t long before he stopped talking and just said “Sorry,” in a rather forlorn voice.
We sat there for ages, just staring at the window at the rain as it toppled past the window, no doubt colder than buck. I watched as droplets trickled down the window pane, collecting extra water and gaining size until splatting on the bottom of the window.
Dusk’s right. I should sleep. Worrying about Dashie isn’t going to help her.
But there’s still one thing that I can’t get off my mind...
“Dusk?”
“Mmph?”
Sounds like he was about to drop off.
“Do you... Do you think I’d make a good father?”
He’s not answering. Either he’s thinking about it, like he always thinks about stuff (sometimes so much that it’s rather annoying) or he’s already thought about it and now he’s trying working out a way to say it without hurting my feelings.
He looks like he’s thinking. That’s good, right?
“You know,” he said, “there’s only two ponies in Equestria who could decide that.”
“Who?”
“The foal (although that rather goes without saying) and you.”
Thank you Dusk. Very helpful.
“But if I had to, I’d definitely say you would make a great father.”
What? “Really?”
“Of course! I mean, look at you, Blitz. You’re strong, you’re confident, you’re-you’re loyal – you’re everything a foal could ever want! Even if the whole reason you’re going to be a dad in the first place is because you and your female self had too much to drink.”
Wow. You know, it seems like forever ago that she and I almost died in a blizzard, even though it was only about eleven months ago. Sitting in a tiny cave underneath a tree with the temperature continually and relentlessly dropping and our only source of warmth being a wool cap, a coat, and a scarf which was otherwise occupied as a temporary wing bandage. Cuddling together for warmth, trying to comfort each other, and arriving at certainty that we weren’t going to survive...
...and then waking up, three weeks later, to the discovery that we had both survived and we were going to have a foal.
I can hardly describe how I felt when Dashie uttered those three words that changed my life forever.
Shocked would be a good word.
Surprised is another.
And stunned is a pretty accurate one.
I recall Dashie told me I looked like I had just died. She laughed so hard at that, and...
She’s so adorable when she laughs.
Sometimes I wonder how or why I fell in love with her. I mean, she’s practically me, so it wouldn’t make any sense, right? And yet, it still happened. I love her. I love her with all my heart.
First, there’s her eyes. I could sit here for absolutely ages and describe their beauty; the way they sparkled like two deep pink stars in even the dimmest light, and illuminated my world like nothing else ever could.
Then there’s her face, which is so many kinds of awesome that I can’t even comprehend it. When she smiles, or when she blushes, or when she blushes and smiles at the same time, it’s seriously the most adorable thing on the entire planet. If she’s plotting something or looking sly or cunning, she’s just... just so hot. Even when she’s scared or angry she’s totally cute.
Next comes her mane. See, mine is just way too spiky. It sticks out from my head like I stood on a live wire. If my mane were a porcupine, hers would be something much more sleek and graceful, like a cat or a swan. Those colours blend and complement each other so amazingly...
And don’t even get me started on her body. Rainbow Dash has the sleekest, sexiest, most smoking hot body I have ever seen in my whole life. The way she moves so smoothly and gracefully through the air makes it all the more obvious, and this is coupled with a coat which could blend seamlessly with the afternoon sky. And that cutie mark just looks perfect on her flank. Dear sweet bucking Solaris, her flank...
And if her all-round, general, drop-dead-gorgeousness wasn’t enough to make anypony fall head over heels for her, there’s also the fact that she’s the funniest, most adorkable pony ever to exist. Like me, she puts on a face of bravado for the masses, but when you get her alone she’s meek and actually quite sensitive. And as for the way she kisses me...
And right now she’s in that room right there, in more pain than I could ever possibly imagine, and there isn’t a single bucking thing I can do about it.
Never in my life did I ever think I’d feel so...
...weak.
Dusk stood up and walked back to where Twilight still lay, sound asleep, and held her close as if she were his most treasured possession. He took out the slip of paper he’d been looking at earlier, and took a long hard look at it, before putting it away again.
I’ve never seen him with a face like that before. If anything, he looks lost. Out of his depth. And I can tell there’s no way I’m gonna get him to ‘fess up. I’ll have to try again some other time.
“Don’t worry, Blitz,” he said. “We aren’t going anywhere.”
“Thanks,” was all I could manage. I’m such a rubbish friend.
I want to sleep, but I also want to stay up in case something happens to Dashie. And I don’t want to move from this window either...
Wow, that’s bright. It’s... the sun?
Huh. Fancy that. A new day. The rain’s stopped, the clouds have been moved away, and- yep, Dusk and Twilight are still here, fast asleep in each other’s hooves.
What time is it?
6:23?
What about-
“Rainbow Blitz?”
I looked around at the mention of my name. There was a doctor standing at the open door of the room they had taken Dashie into.
“Ms Dash was asking for you,” he told me, and with a small smile added “There’s somepony she wants you to meet.”
I walked past him, and was finally allowed to see my marefriend.
She was sitting up in bed, the shadows around her eyes giving away her exhaustion, but I’ll never forget the way she lit up when she saw me. Her smile was the most beautiful I’d seen from her yet.
In her hooves, she cradled a blanket-wrapped bundle.
“Hey Blitz,” she said in what was clearly trying to be a nonchalant fashion. “You okay?”
“I guess,” I said, “but what about you?”
“Tired,” she admitted, “and a bit sore, but...” she looked at the bundle, “it’s totally worth it. Come over here.”
I moved slowly. This is the kind of situation where you want to make as little noise as possible, because it feels like even the quietest pin drop could break the world into smithereens.
“Blitz,” said Dashie when I had almost reached her, “I want you to meet... your daughter.”
Daughter?
It’s a filly?
I... I can’t... I can’t believe...
I have a daughter.
And she’s... beautiful.
Her coat is light blue, like the new morning sky, and seems to shimmer in the growing light of the rising sun. Her mane is a more vibrant, brilliant rainbow than either Dashie or I could ever dream of, and every now and then she has a strand of silver which shines like no gemstone could ever dream of. She almost seems to glow.
When I took her in my hooves I felt as if all my dreams had suddenly come true. This tiny, innocent, stunning little filly... she’s my baby. Our baby. I wouldn’t have had it any other way if my life depended on it.
“She’s beautiful,” I said, rather unnecessarily.
Dashie reached up and wiped the tears out of my eyes.
“She doesn’t have a name yet,” she told me. “I was kinda wondering if you’d like to be the one to decide it.”
She... what?
“You-you want me to name her?” I asked in disbelief. Surely she can’t be serious?
“Of course,” said Dashie. “You’re her father, after all. It’s the least you deserve.”
In my lifetime, I have: performed three Sonic Rainbooms, saved friends lives more times than I’d care to count, won the title of Best Young Flier, gone to the Grand Galloping Gala and been invited to hang out with the Wonderbolts, attended a royal wedding... would you like me to continue? But I have to admit that I never saw this coming.
Amazing luck, right? I already have the perfect name.
“Aurora Spectralis.”
Dashie looked confused for a moment, so I added “It means ‘rainbow of light’.”
At this, her features relaxed and she gave me another weary smile.
“It’s perfect,” she said. “And she certainly lights up the world. She’s... she’s perfect.”
As I watched, the newly named Aurora Spectralis opened her eyes and gazed up at me with apparent, adorable bemusement. Two tiny little orbs of deep pink, which shone like rubies as she started to smile.
If I could have captured any moment in time – if I could take a living photo, preserve a single moment for the rest of time – it would have been this moment. This perfect moment with me, the mare I love and my brand new daughter, would be the one I would freeze and live in for the rest of eternity. Solaris and Artemis combined could not pull me away.
I tickled Aurora’s belly lightly, and she started giggling and clutched my hoof. Compared to mine, hers were absolutely miniscule, but I must admit she has quite a grip. I seriously thought my heart was going to explode.
“Aurora Spectralis,” I repeated.
I passed her back to Dashie, and felt more tears rolling down my cheeks. Any hope of still looking like a toughie has just flown out the window. But you can still be a stud and love your kid, right?
You know what? Buck it. I don’t care what anypony thinks of me anymore. I just want to do right by this kid, and if that means renouncing my daredevil licence and letting everypony think I’m a softie, then I say buck them. Buck them all. I have never been more in love with anypony as I am with Dashie right at this second.
She still tastes like rainbows.
And like I said, she’s obviously exhausted.
“Come on,” I said, “I’ll fly you home.”
She was asleep long before I got her back to the house, so I left her and Aurora in bed. They deserve a rest.
I need a drink.
Sugarcube Corner seems like the best bet. Since the whole blizzard thing, I’ve decided that I’m not going to touch alcohol again as long as I live, considering how bucked up it gets me.
Seriously, I could really go for some cider right now.
Strange. It’s open, but there’s nopony here.
Never mind, I can wait.
“Hey Blitz.”
Him again? I think he must be stalking me or something. And- why does he look like he’s been crying? His eyes are bloodshot, and his mane’s a mess... I hope Elusive doesn’t see him, ‘coz the poor guy would throw a fit.
“Hi Dusk,” is what I said instead of accusing him of stalking me. “What’re you doing here?”
“I needed a drink,” he said as he sat down next to me. “Something to take my mind off... Berry around?”
I shrugged, but took note of the deliberate subject change.
“Congratulations, by the way,” he said. “A new daughter. You must be really proud.”
“Yeah.”
“What did you call her?”
“Aurora Spectralis.”
“You named your daughter after a night time rainbow?”
“Yeah, why not?”
We sat in complete and total silence for a moment. Neither of us could figure out anything to say to one another. I really wanted to ask him what he was doing at the hospital, but I didn’t want him to explode at me again. Luckily, he rectified it for me.
“You’re probably still wondering what me and Twilight were doing at the hospital,” he said. He wasn’t asking; just stating the obvious.
“Duh,” I said. “It was two o’clock in the morning. What the buck were the two of you doing in Ponyville Hospital at two o’clock in the morning – did somepony die or something?”
“It’s worse than that.”
Worse than somepony dying?
Hey, he’s got that piece of paper out again. Only this time, he’s letting me see what it is-
Oh.
Uh...
Holy buck.
“Uh... Dusk?”
He didn’t answer. He just hung his head in shame.
“This is an ultrasound picture.”
Dusk sighed, his ears falling flat against the side of his head. He’d never looked so down in the time I’d known him, and I actually felt sorry for the guy.
“This is an ultrasound picture of a baby in somepony’s womb.”
A schoolkid could figure out what’s going on here. Why else would he be carrying around a pic like this?
“Is Twilight pregnant?”
He nodded.
Oh boy...
“What the buck am I supposed to do?” said Dusk. I never thought I’d hear him use that language. “It’s alright for you, you’re bucking Rainbow Blitz! You can break the speed of sound and the bucking light spectrum and control clouds and-”
“Whoa, Dusk,” I tried, “calm down!”
“WHY SHOULD I?” he demanded, leaping to his hooves.
Holy buck, I’ve never seen him so angry. He looks like something out of the Everfree Forest! His eyes bloodshot, his mane completely messed up, his pupils dilated out of rage... I’m pretty sure this is the most terrifying he’s ever been in his entire life.
He caught his breath, and sat down again.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s just... you never see it coming, do you? You wake up one day, and suddenly you’re going to be a father. I thought we’d be safe, you know, ‘coz we’d done it before and nothing had happened, but...”
He trailed off and sighed again.
“We set the ultrasound appointment for the middle of the night,” he confessed, “because we thought everypony would still be at home asleep. How was I to know Rainbow Dash would go into labour a week early? I hoped we could just be in and out, and nopony would be any the wiser.”
“But instead you ran into me.”
“Exactly. I thought my cover had been blown.”
No wonder the guy was so stingy. I mean, this is the last thing I would expect to happen to Dusk, of all ponies!
“How far along is she?” I asked out of curiosity.
“A couple of months,” he said. “You remember a couple of months ago when she and Rainbow Dash arrived here?”
“Duh. How could I not remember? They thought it would be for the best if Dashie was with me when the baby was born. Or, you know, in the same dimension at least.”
“Well, it’s just... see, we were both so happy to see each other, and... it all happened so fast. Not fast in-in that sense, but-”
“It’s okay, I get it,” I told him in what I hoped was a reassuring voice.
“What am I going to do?” he asked me again. “There’s no way I’ll be able to support a foal.”
“Don’t you get money from Lord Solaris?”
“Yeah, I get grants to expand the library, but that’s it. It’s not like I can just waltz into Canterlot bucking Castle tomorrow afternoon and declare that I knocked up my female self, is it? His majesty will go completely spare!”
“Hey, take a chill pill!”
“There is nothing I want more than to take a bucking chill pill, Blitz. You tell me how I’m supposed to deal with this.”
Wow. You know, I’ve never actually thought about it. I just did what seemed right at the time, and somehow everything’s worked out. I have a loving marefriend and an absolutely adorable daughter, and I can hardly figure out how it even happened.
“Just keep your cool,” I told him, and gave him a pat on the back. “I’m sure everything will work out.”
“Thanks,” said Dusk.
And he’s hugging me. Awkward.
Well, the poor guy needs it. I had it rather easy: all I had to do was work six months of double shifts with weather control to pull in enough money, but what’s he gonna do; double shifts at the library? The guy already lives there, for crying out loud! And if he tells Lord Solaris about this predicament who knows what’s going to happen.
I grabbed a couple of flowers out of a vase on the next table and handed one to Dusk, who accepted it with a small smile.
“To unexpected fatherhood,” I said, holding it as if it were a drink.
“I’ll eat to that,” said Dusk, and then we ate the flowers.
“Hey, where is Berry?” I asked. “I haven’t seen him in ages.”
“Search me,” said Dusk.
Suddenly, we heard a noise coming from upstairs: a sort of steady thumping noise, as if two very energetic ponies having a bit of... um... grown-up fun. It went on for several minutes, and so for several minutes me and Dusk sat there praying that it would stop soon.
Eventually, it did.
“Wow, that was awesome!” said the voice of... Pinkie, wasn’t it?
“You wanna do it again?” asked the voice of Berry.
“I don’t know about you,” said Dusk, “but I’m getting out of here.” He got up and walked calmly to the door, before galloping hell-for-leather once he was outside.
Meanwhile, I wrapped my wings around my head and shoved my forelegs into my mouth.
Just to make sure that nopony heard me laughing my bucking flank off.