Black Lotus
Chapter 4
Luna finally broke her gaze from the lotus and stared off instead at the more colorful multitudes of flowers in the surrounding garden. "Perhaps not a matter of who is dreaming, but what is dreaming," she said slowly.
"...What do you mean, 'what'?" Twilight's eyes opened wide in surprise. A 'what' was a confusing possibility that it had never occurred to her to consider.
Luna was silent for a little while, staring off into the distance before she started speaking. "Imagine a machine made to be a model of something in our universe,” she finally began. “Let us say... perhaps... a machine that tracks the positions of the planets relative to one another as they orbit over time. We could make such a machine with a simple hoof-crank that spins a gear, which in turn spins other gears of various sizes, and by changing the size and shape and number of teeth of all these different gears, they could be made to rotate in different proportions and then spin dials that tell us the positions of those planets. Such a machine would be simple to make once we understand the mathematics behind how to design the gears, would it not? And it creates information representative of an attribute about something, or several pieces of information about several somethings, yes?"
"Of course," Twilight said. "I have an orrery exactly like that. I use it to help me with observations on astronomy nights."
"As do I." Luna nodded. "And as does my sister. Very finely precise machines, as tracking the best course for the sun and the moon on a given day is quite vital. So we know this can be done."
"Alright," Twilight agreed, her curiosity keenly piqued to know where Luna was going with this.
"Now, further imagine a machine that builds on this simple simulation by naturally adding more parts to track more information. Suppose it were desired to track the rotation of each planet. This would then allow us to know where a given point on the surface of any planet would be at any given time in the future, for example. Each piece of information we add can interact with the other information already there. The sheer volume of facts we can discern as a result would, as we keep adding to it, explode exponentially."
"But that doesn't work forever," Twilight said. "A machine like that reaches a limit because it just gets too complex. There's always little inaccuracies, and they would build on each other with every interaction. Eventually the whole thing would fall apart into unrealistic nonsense."
"If we were to keep trying to make ever more sophisticated abstractions of entire planets, yes," Luna agreed. "But what if this machine didn't try to abstract on grand scales? What if it created all its information by only simulating the most very basic interactions that only need a few simple parts and a few simple rules?"
"How... how could it show you a detailed model of things like planets, then?" Twilight asked. Her ears twitched in a split-second flash of motion before they snapped back to face forward again toward Luna.
"What are planets?" Luna leaned back in her chair and shrugged. "Are they really anything complete by themselves? Or are they made up of collections of parts?"
Twilight thought about it. "Well, parts, I suppose," she said. "Rocks, minerals, metals, gases, liquids..."
"And what are those parts made of?" Luna probed further. "More parts, perhaps? Each rock could be broken into smaller rocks, and each of those into more rocks that are smaller still. The sea can be divided down into nothing but so many drops of water. And air is many different gasses that can be separated. Where does it end?"
"You mean, where can you not get smaller...?" Twilight mumbled the question to herself and rubbed her chin with one hoof. A few seconds later the answer came to her with a swiftness that made her feel like a figurative light had suddenly switched on over her head. "Atoms," she said. Her eyes widened. "Or... the stuff that makes atoms. Smaller particles. And maybe the even smaller particles that make those."
"And are those things really so complicated?" Luna asked.
"No!" Twilight said. "No, not at all. They have spin and charge, maybe mass, and maybe a few other things. Not that much, though, really. And there would just need to be a few simple rules for what they do around other particles. Then from there, everything more complicated just happens by itself naturally as a consequence once they start interacting. You could have perfect accuracy, more or less, because of how simple it could be on that lowest level. It would be so... easy..." She was briefly stunned by an overwhelming mental rush of possibilities she suddenly saw.
"Yes." Luna nodded. "And we, too, are made of those same parts, those particles and atoms. It is only the effect of how they are arranged that makes us what and who we believe we are on larger scales, as individual living things."
"Right." Twilight thought for a few seconds. "And... we couldn't tell because consciousness isn't separate from that, is it? It's just a phenomenon that happens because of how neurons interact. It's caused by information. It is information, just in certain patterns. It doesn't really matter where that information comes from, only that it's there. After all, nopony can really prove that they're not just a brain being kept alive in a jar somewhere and fed signals, can they?"
"Philosophers have faced that question for a long time and have found, as you say, that no satisfactory refutation is forthcoming," Luna said. "There is, however, some suggestion against it by applying the principle that you pointed out, that the simplest explanation should be the one we most favor. Brains kept alive in jars and fed elaborate signals is much more complicated than seems likely. And more to the point, for a simulation, it is unnecessary—there would be no real reason that a brain need exist at all outside of this machine's dream. The neurons themselves would arise from the interaction of information within."
"Right," Twilight said. "That would be both the simplest and the most consistent with what we seem to experience. If some machine was producing all this information and letting it interact, and the consciousness we have ended up arising out of nothing more than those interactions, then... from our perspective it looks exactly like a real world, and what would the difference be? "
"Perhaps nothing," Luna said with a shrug. "In a sufficiently excellent simulation, there could be no way to tell from within that it is a simulation at all. If you were in fact nothing more than part of a dream, you might never know it."
"But... could it even be possible to make a machine like that?" Twilight pondered. "We can't do it. We're not even close!"
"I would dare say that it does not matter what we can do," Luna said. "It would only matter what the makers of the machine can do, and that, we would have no way of knowing."
"I guess that's true," Twilight said. "But for that matter, would somepony—or something, maybe they're nothing like ponies—actually do it, even if they could?"
"I find no reason to suppose they would not." Luna shook her head. "If we could build such an advanced machine and perform such simulations ourselves, would we not do it? It would be too valuable for us to ignore, I believe. There are many questions it could answer. I suspect many such machines would be built and many universes simulated so that we may watch what the dreams of the machine reveal."
"So you think that if it can be done, it's inevitable that it will be done," Twilight said.
"Most likely." Luna nodded.
"Then is this universe we live in just one of those simulations in progress right now? Because if you're right it seems like there could be a good chance it's already happened."
"That is a distinct possibility, yes" Luna agreed.
Twilight picked up another pastry and took a bite. It was as delicious as the one before, but she barely noticed. While she chewed, she lifted the tea kettle and poured herself another cup, adding sugar and stirring in silent thought while she watched the cubes dissolve and vanish into the liquid.
"And you knew, didn't you?" Twilight set down her spoon on the edge of the saucer under her teacup. She looked up to meet Luna's eyes. "You already knew all of this. You had it figured out a long time ago, you must have. That's why you're not surprised and it's how you knew exactly the way to lead me through to this conclusion, isn't it?"
"I... perhaps... 'conclusion' may be too strong a thing to say about this idea." Luna cleared her throat. "It is not my intention to mislead, and if I have, I am sorry. I have long known of the possibility of it, as has Celestia—but that it is all it has ever been, one possibility among many. It could never be said to be something we could have knowledge of in a scientific sense, since a conjecture like this cannot be proven or disproven in a meaningful way."
Luna paused and gathered her thoughts before continuing. "But I can say this: you have come further on the question than my sister and I ever have. While I do not know if anything will ever prove it with certainty, what you were able to accomplish"—she pointed at the black flower—"lends the strongest support yet to at least the credibility of the idea."
"But if you and Celestia both realized you had reason to suspect... haven't you told anypony?" Twilight asked. "I mean, this is the first I'm ever hearing about it. Hasn't anypony else worked on the hypothesis? I would have thought this would be important!"
"Please believe me, we have discussed it, and it has not been ignored purposefully." Luna sounded apologetic. "There have been some few who have arrived at the idea of this possibility just as we have. My sister and I have always encouraged them to pursue whatever further investigation they choose. But no matter how much we invite inquiry, we also cannot force it on anypony unwilling... and most who explore this notion seem to conclude at the end only that they do not want to spend a great deal of time being concerned with it."
"Why not?" Twilight demanded. "Don't ponies deserve to know?"
"I have often wondered myself why more is not forthcoming, but after some thought I feel that most who have realized this possibility have had to consider what good would be served by convincing many other ponies of it," Luna said. "I certainly have, and my sister even more so. Even Starswirl, a pony whose entire life was characterized by the thirst for knowledge, decided there was little to truly gain when it came to hypothetical questions of this sort."
"But..." Twilight felt frustration building inside. "How could nopony even want to find out?!"
"What I have understood is that for most ponies there would generally be one of two possibilities that can result," Luna said. "The first is that it might change nothing for them. This is still the world we must all live in, real to us regardless of how 'real' it is in an ultimate sense, and we still value what we value and love who we love. It is all we have, and it is wisest to make the most and the best of it that we can."
"And the second?" Twilight asked.
"The second... is as dark as this flower." Luna sighed, and Twilight noticed a look of sadness cross her face. "It might worsen a pony's outlook and take away a great many things they care deeply about. If there is no reality to this world, then it becomes difficult for some ponies to understand why they should love other ponies or value anything they feel is nothing but an illusion. It would destroy much of the joy in their lives to feel that everyone and everything they once held dear is now lost to being no more than a mere phantasm in a dream. Can you imagine anything more heartbreaking than to believe it was all nothing?"
"No, I suppose not." Twilight stared at the flower on the table. It was a strange thing, she thought, how such worrisome weight could ride on deceptively delicate petals. "So you think most ponies are better off not knowing?"
"That is part of the conundrum in itself, is it not?" Luna asked. "Nopony truly knows at all. It is merely a possibility that cannot be shown to be true or false. At best it would be inconsequential, at worst, harmful... and for those ponies it did harm to, what good could come of it? Shrouding all their life in doubt and despair, hurting them for something we cannot even be sure of?"
"I guess that's a good point," Twilight admitted. "But even so, once you know something is possible, it still raises questions that we should think about. If this is all true, what happens to us? What can we do about it?"
"Do about it?" Luna looked at Twilight curiously. "What is there to do?"
"Well... there's issues like... what happens if they just turn off the machine?" Twilight's voice carried a small undertone of alarm. "What if it breaks? What if... I don't know, what if anything happens to it at all? Where does that leave us?"
"In no different a position than we were always in." Luna shrugged. "If such a machine stopped working, would we even be able to comprehend it? Or would we simply cease in that instant? How do we know this does not already happen, for that matter? Perhaps this machine starts, then stops for a while, frozen in its state, and then starts again later where it left off. We could never tell. The passage of time appears seamless to us, for it is a product of our perceptions, and we cannot perceive during those interruptions when the machine is inactive."
Twilight nodded slightly, but said nothing.
"Perhaps more along the lines of your concerns... all of us die someday," Luna said softly. "You know that. We all know that. But ponies should not let that fear rule their lives."
"No." Twilight shook her head. "Of course not."
"On top of which, it could be debatable whether such a sudden halt could even be rightly called 'death'," Luna continued. "It would be a cessation, certainly, but when we think of death, we think of sadness. In death, we leave behind our mortal remains and the void of our absence for others to cope with. We leave behind loved ones who mourn. By comparison, this would be extraordinarily easy. There would be no pain, no sadness, no bodies, nopony left behind to miss us. We would all simply... stop, and vanish, in an incomprehensible instant."
"It would be like we never existed," Twilight whispered. Her face took on a grave expression.
"That would not be how I see it." Luna looked at Twilight with a gentle smile.
Neither of them spoke until Twilight's anxiousness broke down, bit by bit, and she finally felt herself starting to smile back. "Alright. So how would you see it?"
"I see it thus: I could have had nothing, but instead, I had a chance to exist, and to live," Luna said. "I had my triumphs and made my mistakes and I would like to believe that I learned from them all. I tasted the depths of bitterness and sorrow of loneliness, but also the sweetness and the joy of coming home at last to a warm welcome from a sister who never stopped loving me even when I was a thousand years wayward and lost."
Luna stood up and started walking slowly around the table towards Twilight. "I know what it is to have enemies and to hate them... but also what it is to grow beyond that, and instead to have friends, and to love them. That contrast makes it all the sweeter." Standing in front of Twilight, Luna lifted up a front leg and laid it around her withers, pulling her into a hug. Twilight stood up and wrapped her front legs around Luna and leaned the side of her head against Luna's neck.
"I am very happy that we are friends, Twilight," Luna said. "It means a great deal to me."
"Me too." Twilight closed her eyes and settled into the embrace.
"And when I feel things like that friendship, I know that nopony can tell me that it all amounts to nothing, or that it never existed," Luna said. "Quite the opposite, my existence has been rich and beautiful to me. The circumstances of how it came about do not change that, they are merely incidental. What is 'real'? Real is what you make of it. Nothing more and nothing less, for each of us, no matter where we exist."
Luna draped a wing around Twilight's back. The two of them held each other quietly for a little while.
"And, of course, there are these intensely delicious pastries." Luna grinned and levitated another small piece of confectionery off the tea cart. "It would surely not do to discount them." She popped it in her mouth.
Twilight laughed. "Yeah, they are pretty good."
"Are we agreed, then, that this world we find ourselves in matters, whatever its nature?" Luna asked.
"Yes." Twilight nodded. She slowly let go of Luna and took a step back out of the hug, smiling a little bit. "I guess it really doesn't change anything, does it?"
"No, it does not," Luna said. "Now, understanding that, here is my best advice as your friend: I would not think too extensively on this to the point of it consuming your focus, Twilight. It will lead you down a dangerous path that I know much about. Do not fall into the dangers of self-fulfilling prophecy."
"How do you mean?" Twilight asked.
"If you were worried about losing connection with the Element that you bear, then this is also a way that you may risk it happening. Be cautious that you do not come to view this world as unreal, for if none of this is real, then the Elements are also unreal and there may come a sense that none of it therefore matters. Without that, surely the Elements would be lost to you, and without the bearers of the Elements, surely Equestria and all the ponies in it would suffer."
"I don't want that to happen." Twilight shook her head. "I want my friends and everypony else to be happy. I'll do whatever it takes to ensure that."
"Then in that case, you have found the truth of the matter." Luna said. "The fact that you care about your friends and the ponies of Equestria means that they are real to you in the only way that means anything. Remember this always, and with that love as an anchor to hold you in place against all doubts, you shall have no more difficulty, I think."
"I think I understand," Twilight said. "I mean, of course it's not going to be that easy, you can't just make an idea not affect you. But when I look at it your way, maybe it'll help. Thank you, Luna."
"Helping each other is what friends are for." Luna nuzzled Twilight on the cheek. "You taught me that, Twilight. If you find these thoughts troubling you any further, please, do not hesitate to speak with me about them. I shall always be ready to listen, as a friend."
"I'll remember that," Twilight said. She sat back down at the table. "For now, though, I think... I'd like to talk about other things. I don't want to take up your entire tea time with one silly worry of mine, and you're right, anyway, it would probably do me good not to think too hard about it for a while."
"Very well." Luna nodded with a smile while she walked back around the table and took her own seat once again. "We will move on to topics more pleasant." She lifted the kettle in the air. "More tea, Twilight?"
"Yes." Twilight nodded with renewed enthusiasm. "I'd love some, thanks."
She watched the polished silver kettle gleam and shine with light, reflecting the colors of Luna's magic, the grass, the flowers, and everything else around them in a beautiful kaleidoscope mirror. The lotus with its black petals lay below on the table. The dark holes it made in the world seemed to her, for this moment at least, like they were overcome and made powerless by the presence of so much light and beauty.