Twilight Sparkle. Who am I?
“Um...how do we answer that?!” Twilight said with a full face of fear. “I mean...I uh...um...”
Celestia put her hoof on Twilight's shoulder, “Calm down Twilight, it'll be okay. Let's just sit here for a second and try to think this through.”
“Okay...” Twilight said while letting out a huge breath of air. “Right...let's think about how we should respond...yeah...”
Celestia let out a little giggle and patted Twilight on the head. “Now...I have an idea Twilight.”
“You do?”
“Yes.” Celestia nodded. “Do you...do you think I should reveal myself to Sunset?”
“Reveal yourself?”
“Yes. Right now she thinks you're writing to her. She doesn't know I'm here.”
“Oh yeah...um...” Twilight put on a thinking face. “Well...do you think that's a good idea? I mean, you told me before that you didn't want her to know because...um...what happened to you when she left.”
“I know. But...” Celestia let out a little sigh. “Maybe you're right...I know I want to help her but...I'm still not sure what to tell her. I mean, I know just about everything about her past.”
“Yeah...you told me you saved her when she was just a filly...” Twilight rubbed her chin in thought, “And then you made her your student...couldn't I just tell her that?”
“Well...I guess that's true. I just...” Celestia began twiddling her hooves together. “I want to apologize to her...but I'm not sure how...”
“I understand princess...I think.” Twilight said with a smile. “I mean, all you have to do is say sorry, right?”
Celestia froze for a few seconds. 'She's right...in a way.' she thought with a small dumbfounded frown. 'I could just tell her I'm sorry and tell her the truth...but...but that won't be enough. I know it won't be enough.'
Twilight levitated the pen in front of Celestia's face. “What should we write?”
“Well...let's start by asking what she means by that. We need to know what she's trying to find out and tell her.”
“Okay...I don't know how to write that.” Celestia let out a little giggle at that statement and grabbed the pen. “I'll go first Twilight.”
What do you mean by that?
'What do I mean?' thought Sunset as she read the words again. 'Well, I guess that is a little vague...let's try this...'
What I mean is, do you know who I was before this happened to me?
“Okay princess...I really don't know how to respond to that.” Twilight said with an even more pained expression. “Is she asking for her whole life story?!”
“I...I think she is Twilight. Perhaps I should reveal myself and write to her.” Twilight wanted to say no to Celestia, but after looking back at the past few entries, “Um...I still wanna...uh...”
“Say I shouldn't write to her?”
“Yeah...I just...I don't want to mess up...but I don't know any other options...”
Celestia let out another giggle and said, “Its okay Twilight. We don't always have all the answers. I know I don't.”
“Yeah...you're right...sorry.”
“Don't be sorry Twilight. I completely agree with you.” Celestia hugged Twilight again, her wings surrounding Twilight. Twilight showed a small smile. “I just...I want to help her just like I know you want to help her as well. How about this Twilight...why don't you ask her if she would like to speak to me?”
“Hmm...okay..” Twilight said with a nod.
I'm not sure how to answer that Sunset Shimmer. So instead, would you like to talk to Princess Celestia?
'Talk to...' Sunset scanned the words over and over. 'Talk to Princess Celestia?! Wha...what?! WHAT?!' Sunset laid her head on the desk with a confused look. 'I can't...I forgot about that part where she said she was a princess...guess I've been thinking a little too much...' Sunset raised her head and looked at the entry one more time. 'Okay, let's say I believe this...which I keep questioning...what do I say to her? Do I just agree to meet the person who may have all the answers to my past?! Am I ready for that?!'
However, despite wanting to question herself more in her mind, Sunset's body decided for her. The hand had already picked up the pen.
Yes.
'Why did I write that?!' thought Sunset as she tried to scream internally in her mind. 'Just...why did I write that?!'
Celestia let out a little huff and thought, 'Here we go...I just hope I can help you Sunset...and I hope you will accept both mine and Twilight's help...I just hope the news I'll be giving you...your parents...the fact that you're stuck in another world for over two years...I just hope you can handle the news...'
I am here Sunset Shimmer. I am Princess Celestia, it is good to hear from you again.
'Good to hear...from...you...again...' thought Sunset as she looked over the words. 'Again...yeah...though I have no memory of her...okay. What do I say first? I mean, I can't just tell her I don't remember her and I still don't really believe this story about me being from a different world! Ugh...' Sunset grabbed the pen. 'Maybe I should just do a formal hello...I mean, she is a princess...if I believe all this...'
It's nice to talk to you, your Majesty.
'Hopefully that's a good start...' thought Sunset as she waited for a response.
There is no need to be formal Sunset Shimmer, I am here to help you.
'Here to help me, huh? Does that mean I can ask her anything?' Sunset rubbed her chin in thought. 'Guess I could just ask her...'
Okay, does that mean I can ask you anything about my past?
“Wow...that's direct.” Twilight said with a face of surprise. Celestia let out a little giggle. “I agree my student...”
Yes. You may ask me anything.
'Anything...ugh...' thought Sunset as she slumped down in her chair again. 'Okay...I need to think this through...if I believe this, which is a huge if...what's my first question? Do I ask her about my parents or how I became her student...a student of a princess...yeah...maybe I should ask how I went from her world to this one...' Sunset let out another sigh as she grabbed the pen. 'I know what I want to ask...'
What kind of person was I before all this happened to me?
“Person? Doesn't she mean pony?”
“I'm not sure Twilight...but let's respond anyway.”
You were a very intelligent individual, who was filled with drive and confidence. You never quit no matter what the circumstance, even when I first found you as a little unicorn filly.
There were many moments that night that had surprised Sunset Shimmer. But this moment was on the very top. She wasn't sure what happened after reading those words. Her brain had basically shut down. Sunset just sat there as her brain tried to comprehend what had happened. Gears began to turn as she tried to reboot her mind, slowly but surely, her brain turned all its light bulbs on. Then she finally blinked and bent over, staring at the words. 'WHAT?! WHAT THE?! HOW THE?! WHA...WHA...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT?!!!' she thought as if a brick slammed into her brain because of the information going through her mind right now. 'WHAT?! IS THIS SOME KIND OF JOKE?!' Sunset began to strangle her pen in a tight grip.
Is this a joke?!
“She's asking if its a joke again...” Twilight said in a low tone. “Why does she keep asking that?”
“Well...” Celestia scratched her head. “I have a few ideas why...but to be honest, I'm not sure. Let's ask her why she thinks that this time...”
No. Why would you think this is a joke?
A few seconds later...
Oh, I don't know. Maybe its because I'm a human being and not an unicorn!
“Human being?! What's that?” Twilight said with lit up eyes. “Is it some species I don't know about from another world?!”
“I...I don't know.” Celestia said in soft tone. She then thought, 'Don't tell me...did the portal not just send her to another world? Did it...did it change her into this...human being? But if that's the case...then...' A small tear went down Celestia's face. 'She doesn't remember being a pony? Oh no...what have I done?!'
“Princess? Are you okay?”
“I'm fine my student...its nothing.” Celestia levitated the pen once more. “Do you think we should ask her what a human is Twilight?”
“Well...I mean, I guess we could. Though its odd she say she's one now...”
“That it is...”
What is a human?
Dumbfounded was the expression that Sunset was wearing now. Out of all the words she wanted to see appear on that page, those were the ones she was not expecting to answer. 'How do I answer that?! Can I answer that?! In fact...should I answer that?! I mean...aren't they lying to me?!' thought Sunset as she slumped down in her chair, her body almost about to hit the floor. 'This is so messed up...this is absolutely crazy...' She glanced at her bed. 'Maybe I'm just dreaming all of this...' Sunset quickly pinched herself and let out a small 'Ow!'. 'Nope, not dreaming...I guess...'
Sunset let out a sigh and thought, 'Now what do I do? Do I even answer that? Maybe I should tell them that this is crazy and I don't believe a single word they've said?!' She looked at the sides of the book. 'Maybe I should just close this book and try to forget everything that just happened...I mean, come on! A magic book tells me that I'm from another world where I'm a unicorn and I just so happened to have lost my memory the day I came to Earth?! Do you honestly expect me to believe that?!' Sunset grabbed one of the book's edges as the rest of her body began to tremble. 'And yet...I haven't seen any other books like this...the hospital said there's no records of me or who I was before all of this. There's nothing. But this Princess Celestia says she knows who I was...and Twilight was so nice to me, responding to me and not getting mad because I wouldn't tell her how horrible these past two days have been...' A tear ran down her face. 'I just...I just want to know who I am...not some other world nonsense or me being some horse with a horn on my head...is that so hard to ask?'
Sunset grabbed the pen again. 'She wants to know what a human is? I honestly don't know how to answer that...guess I'll just tell her that.'
I don't know how to answer that question. All I know is that I'm a human, not a horse.
“A horse?! Is that what she thinks we unicorns are?!”
“I'm an alicorn Twilight.”
“Oh right...sorry...” Twilight said sheepishly. “I didn't mean it like that.”
“I know.” Celestia said with a giggle. She looked back at the book, showing a serious look again. “Now...I'm guessing after she lost her memory, she woke up as this...human and she thinks that's what she is...”
“So she's confused because of her amnesia?” asked Twilight.
“Well...yes. At least I think she is. We probably need to find out how she got amnesia to understand if this is true...”
“So...what do we write next?”
“Well...” Celestia looked at the pen and the book, “I think...I think we should just ask her what other questions she wants to ask...I know its important to find out how she got her amnesia but...I feel she has more questions than we do...”
I apologize for asking. I know I said you can ask me anything and I apologize for asking something. Please ask me anything.
'Anything...' thought Sunset as she sat her head on the desk. 'Anything...anything at all...I mean, I only have two billion questions! But...what question do I really want to ask? I...I think I know...'
If all of this is true, why am I here? How did I end up in this world?
“How did she end up there...” Twilight glanced at her teacher only to see more tears. “Princess?”
“I'm sorry Twilight...” she said as she wiped the tears away. “I just...I'm not sure I'm ready to tell her...”
“That she ran away?”
“No...that this is all my fault...” Celestia levitated the pen once more. “But I have to...”
You ran away. That's how you ended up on Earth.
'I ran away...'
Why?
A few moments later...
Because I failed you Sunset Shimmer. I'm the reason you ran away.
'She's the reason? But I...I...' Sunset gripped her chest in pain. 'I thought I was the reason...I thought...I thought the reason would be because I'm just a...just a screw-up...'
Why are you the reason?
Because I was too eager.
Too eager?
Yes. I showed you the way to that world and I believed you were ready when you weren't.
'Too eager...and she believed I was ready? Ready for what?' Sunset rubbed her pen as she thought again. 'Why?'
What was I not ready for?
Celestia let out the biggest depressing sigh she had ever given in years. She rubbed her eyes as she tried to wipe her tears away. “Oh Sunset...”
“Princess?” Twilight asked as she continued to tremble as she watched her teacher. “Are you alright? I mean...if this is too much...”
“It's fine my student...I'm okay.”
To answer that is to tell you a very long story. Are you ready to hear that story?
Sunset let out a sigh. 'I don't know...but I don't care. I have to know...I might not still believe all of this but...I still want to know! I have to know!'
Yes. I am ready to hear that story.
Celestia wanted to sigh but Twilight quickly stopped her. “Princess! You don't have to tell her if you're not ready!” Twilight said as she saw more tears go down. Celestia instead just put her hoof over Twilight's mouth and said calmly. “No Twilight. I need to tell her.”
Very well, it all started when I was about to advance you to your next level of training.
'Next level? That reminds me...what kind of training was I doing?' However, Sunset wasn't able to ask as words continued to appear.
The next level would have you leave my personal tutelage and have you go out into Equestria to find and understand friendship. However, I believed that you weren't completely ready.
'I wasn't ready?' Sunset's face turned sideways in confusion and curiosity.
Over the recent lessons, you began to show more signs of...greed and ambition. Your pride started to get the better of you. Because of this, I showed you the mirror. Do you remember the mirror?
'The mirror? Why does that sound familiar?' Sunset thought as she read the words. 'But I don't remember it...'
I don't.
'I had a feeling she wouldn't...' thought Celestia as she levitated the pen once more.
The mirror is the portal to the world you are currently in. I tried to use the mirror to show you who you really were. Instead, I made a mistake.
A mistake?
You became obsessed with the mirror. You started to try to get as much information as you could over that mirror. I had no idea you would become so obsessed after just one showing. Then, one day you confronted me.
'I confronted her? I have a bad feeling about this...'
You asked me to go ahead and do the step after friendship and I told you that you weren't ready. The confrontation went...
Sunset saw the sudden pause in words and decided to write.
It went bad didn't it? I'm guessing I went through this mirror-portal next, right?
You did.
Sunset just froze. Her brain only thought one thing. 'That's my story...that's why I'm here...' Sunset slumped down again. 'Okay Sunset...let's stop again. Do you believe this? I mean...I...I...' Sunset couldn't think. She could only just sit there in shock.
Celestia just sat there, crying. She knew that she didn't have to write anymore words. All she had to do was wait. Twilight on the other hoof, tapped Celestia's side and asked. “Um princess...can I ask you something?”
“Of course my student...what is it?”
“Um...” Twilight twiddled her hooves for a few seconds and said, “If this happened a month ago...I became your student a little over a month ago and...”
Celestia gave her usual calm smile and put her wings over Twilight again. “I understand Twilight. Don't worry, when I saw you hatch Spike over a month ago...I had already decided that Sunset would go to the next level and had already showed her the mirror. You never interfered...you just...you became my student a little quicker than I was expecting.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well...let's just say that I accepted you so early because...” Celestia sighed as more tears appeared. “I needed something to distract me from my failure...”
“Princess...”
Celestia then hugged Twilight with all her might. “I'm sorry Twilight! I'm so so sorry! I never meant...I...”
Twilight just gave a cheerful smile and hugged her back. “It's okay princess! I forgive you!”
“You do? But...but that was so selfish of me...”
“Of course I forgive you! All I ever wanted is to be your student!” Twilight's grin got bigger. “I'm just glad I'm not just a replacement to you! I know you're a great pony and would never do something like that!”
“Oh...” Celestia gave another hug as tears flooded from her eyes. “Thank you so much my student...thank you...”
“Now...let's help Sunset!” Twilight said with her grin.
Sunset continued to sit. There was no emotion. No sadness. No rage. Nothing. Her mind just continued to try to think. But there was nothing. Sunset just slumped down more and more. She closed her eyes as she stayed in her now vegetable-like state. She wasn't sure how much time passed from the moment she read those words but she saw a small glow from the book. Her head lifted as she began to read again.
I know hearing this is hard and I am sorry. Are you okay?
'Am I okay?! Am I...I...who am I? I mean...who am I supposed to be?' Sunset stared at the ceiling. 'I mean...maybe I'm still in that coma and this is all some crazy nightmare...or maybe I'm not Sunset Shimmer and I just accidentally got this book from her and...no, that's even more stupid than the coma theory...what am I even thinking? In fact, why am I accepting this?! Why am I here?! Why is this happening to me?! Am I that big of screw-up that I have to be some unicorn from another world with no memory?! Am I that cursed that I have to believe all of this?! WHY?!'
Sunset slammed her head on the desk and picked up the pen. 'No more...no more, no more, no more! I don't want to hear anymore! At least not tonight...'
I am. I'm sorry but I need time to think. Can you wait?
Celestia and Twilight read the words and glanced at each other with sad faces. “Do you think we failed princess?”
“I...I don't know.” Celestia said with a frown. “But we should respect her wishes...”
“Yeah...” Twilight nodded.
Of course. Just write us and we'll respond as soon as possible.
Sunset wrote her final words for the night.
Thanks.
Sunset rose from her chair and fell on top of her bed. Tears ran down her eyes as her mind drifted to sleep. Her final thoughts for the night were these: 'Just who am I? Just who is...Sunset Shimmer?'