We made it back to the castle where Princess Twilight was more or less happy I was actually able to do magic from what Sweetie Belle had taught me, something about how she’s was still learning as well.
Spike was laughing at her reaction in his normal manner, on his back; rocking back and forth, “It didn’t stop her from actually doing so, you’re just upset she managed to actually teach him something- actually why haven’t you taught him magic, that’s what he came here for wasn’t it,” he asked so I just nodded.
“I’m not upset, I’m very proud Sweetie Belle was able to pass on knowledge and I’ll have you know I was going to teach him magic: just not yet, you see,” she continued, pulling a scroll from somewhere and began reading from it, “first week was getting him up to speed, second was to introduce him to the basics of magic, fourth week we’re expanding into standard magical theories –about that time we should be able to put you together with the girls, possibly spend a few weeks doing that see how you adapt to that-, then finally move on to unicorn magic, spells, and practical uses.”
“What about next week,” we both asked.
“Heh hehe well… I’m actually heading up to the Crystal Empire next week.”
“Uh huh…”
“It’s not like that Spike, I’m going to see Cadance and Shining Armor; they said they had a surprise for me.”
“Fine…”
Twilight’s nose started twitching before she reared back, “O-oh my, I’d hate to sound rude but I believe the two of you need a bath.” She picked us both up in magic, we heard the faucet’s upstairs kick on and that’s when Spike started squirming.
“It’s not me! It’s not me, it’s Gem, do you not remember? He went swimming in the lake, Twilight. That place has fish in it.”
Twilight just hummed a little tune before getting to the bathroom, dumping us in the tub together, and enchanting all the brushes, soaps, and shampoos to float around and start scrubbing us down. Spike looked absolutely ticked with his arms crossed while I just sat there while the brushes did there thing, I raised a claw but Spike shot my question down.
“This doesn’t leave the bathroom,” he growled angrily and I just nodded.
Gem
Dinner that night was… quiet; Spike was picking at his food while Twilight ate silently until she excused herself for ‘princess duty’ with a yellow Pegasus I remembered being introduced as Fluttershy. Spike snuck off as well, leaving me with a plate of small diamonds to myself which I just pocketed for a snack later and made my way to the library in the upper branches into the actual castle bit.
“I wonder why Princess Twilight lives in the trunk instead of up here in the castle, sure it’s a long climb but-“ I closed my mouth when I realized I had been talking to myself… in an empty room and something my uncle once said, ‘why do we talk when none there? Maybe there is something there.’ I always noticed and asked why he said something instead of someone but he’d just laugh until he had coughed himself into a fit. I started looking for the book that Pip had suggested, running my claw along the spines of the books but not recognizing any of the titles. I went onto the next shelf when I hear the sound of a chair being pulled out and sat in, turning around I didn’t see anything but I noticed a cabinet looking thing that hadn’t been there before. Walking over and felt the letters etched into the wood, “D.D.S.?”
“Disorganized Directory System,” a deep voice spoke and I yelped as I dove right under the cabinet, “Oh my, didn’t mean to startle you.”
I looking from my hiding spot I saw the strangest thing, a tall creature made of different animals that I couldn’t name, “What are you?”
“Well somepony is certainly rude, I don’t ask what you are mister Stone. Since you didn’t ask, I am Discord; the Spirit of Chaos,” he shouted with his talon/paw in the air as if waiting for something, “Huh? Oh darn it, I hate when this happens.” He clapped twice and a peal of thunder sounded, “Well, moment’s gone… are you just going to just stay under that thing or what?”
“Oh, yes- er I mean no,” I crawled out from my hiding spot and stood up, barely up to Discord’s knees. “Can I ask what you’re doing in here?”
“Oh certainly you can ask, it’s not like I’m going to turn you a liquid diamond or anything. That was the old me before I was reformed by dear Fluttershy and her friends so long ago. I’m actually here for Twilight, I managed to get my claw on some more chapters of that Griffin the Griffin series she and everypony seems to enjoy as of late.”
“You write the book series about the Griffin Pirates?”
“Well I wouldn’t say that I write them, I make-“ he coughs into a paw, “find these holes to other dimensions, I go into these other dimensions where I make copies to then bring them to Celestia or Twilight to censor them. Can’t think of a reason why, sure they’re kind of bloody and paint the ponies a little racist but what do you expect from a Griffin writer.”
I started running around him, excited as I was when Uncle Fido said he had a new story to tell me, “I can’t believe it! Pip told me about it and I love the story. Can I take a peak pretty-pretty-pretty-pretty-“
“Sit.”
I don’t know why but I just felt like I had to listen to him so I plopped my rump and looked at him confused while he stifled a laugh, “What was that? How did you do that?”
“Oh my, I must apologize; I didn’t actually think it would work,” he hmm’d for a moment while he stroked his beard, the obvious mix-matched gears spinning in his head.
“Don’t even think of it Discord, I’ve been in Gem’s shoes before. It starts with sit then it turns into fetching and don’t even get me started on the ear scratches and the involuntary tail waggin’,” Spike said as he walked through the Library’s double doors with a tub of ice cream. “Go on; ask me how I knew you were here.”
“Oh if I must; how did you know I was here?”
“You turned my ice cream into a Styrofoam!”
“Hmm, I was going for marshmallow… I know someone would enjoy the joke, well anyways, I have some more books for Twilight to censor,” he rapped his knuckles on the stack of papers on the table next to him, “So I’ll leave them with you.”
“Are those the books about that griffin?”
“Mhmm.”
“You know Rainbow Dash can’t stand those stories Discord,” Spike tapped the tub of ice cream with a spoon, “Now if you don’t mind, I’m trying to get back at Twilight for something.” Discord snapped his claws and the tub flashed then Spike dug back in, “Thanks, I’d ask Gem to help eat it but… it has chocolate in it. Quick question; are you still looking for more friends?”
Discord was flipping through a thin grey book, “Hmm? Oh yes, still looking. The Smooze and I need to get together two friends each for a card game. Maybe I can ask Jesus if he’d like to join in…” The book closed with a slam and he balanced it on my head, still unable to move from my sitting position on the floor, “Here you go, Gem, a little gift from the reformed spirit of chaos. It’s not very fun when I can’t do something to tweak Twilight’s cute little nose.”
“T-thank you?”
“Why you’re absolutely welcome, it’s nice getting a thank you from somepony around here that isn’t dear Fluttershy. Now I must be off, I owe Pinkie Pie a favor, something about a surprise party. Ciao,” shaking a pair of maracas that he pulled from somewhere, he cha-cha’d through a wall.
As soon as he was gone I was able to move and the book fell from my head into my open paws, “Uhhhh.”
“That’s one reaction for him, might as well leave those papers here; Twilight’s off doing Cutiemap stuff with Fluttershy. Wouldn’t hurt them to take us along,” he mumbled that last bit into a spoon.
“But- uh… how’d he do the thing with me sitting and how did you know about it,” I finally asked, freaking out slightly because I could still feel the word in my head.
“Okay, long story short,” he took a deep breath then spoke quickly, “a while back when Twilight became a princess, someone from Equestria went to an alternate world then came back to Equestria through this magic mirror and stole her crown,” He pointed a spoon at this large contraption near the middle of the library- ‘how did I not see that?’- as he continued talking, “Twilight was sent to retrieve the crown alone but I worried so much that I ran in with her, where she was turned into a human and I was turned into a talking dog.”
“You were a diamond dog…”
“No, I was an actual dog. Like Winona but a guy… and could talk… hmm, I wonder if Winona can- nah. Don’t worry about it too much Gem, I think it’s just a dog thing.”
“Okay,” I was quiet for a moment and I started looking at the book Discord had gifted me, “’Runes, Rune-weaving, and Runecasting; A Guide to the Practical Use and Creation of Unique Magical Runes’ It’s not very thick for a book on magic.”
“Magic runes? I guess Discord heard that you were trying to learn magic but I’ve never heard of rune magic before,” he drummed his claws along the tub in thought before walking off, “Come on dude, let’s go empty the freezer of its frozen goodies; I’ll take all the chocolate and you get the other stuff.”
“I don’t even know if I can eat anything besides gems…”
“Good a time as any to find out… hey, you got something stuck to your paw.”
I walk-hopped on one paw until I managed to peel off a yellow paper and read it out loud, “I suggest teacups, they’re absolutely exquisite… what?”
“Discord, actually I’ve always wondered about that. He sometimes eats the teacups when he drinks from them, want to go try it?”
“Sure,” I responded simply and I followed after him but stopped when I remembered to put the book down but finding my paws empty, “Weird, don’t remember setting it down… hey wait up!”
We spent the entire day emptying the castle’s freezers of frozen goodies, which was a lot; I didn’t think there could be that many freezers in one castle. Applejack and Pinkie found us surrounded by ice-cream buckets, Pinkie was just wearing a goofy grin while Applejack looked worryingly at our round forms.
“How can yall just eat so much ice-cream like that?”
“We regret,” we each burped slightly, “nothing.”
“Silly Billie’s; why didn’t you invite me?!”
“Pinkie, if they invited you who would plan the thing we came to get them for?”
“Oh right,” Pinkie exclaimed as they began rolling our now round bodies out of the castle like giant balls, “Roll roll roll your friends, gently down the street, merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is nothing but ice-cream.”
“Pinkie, ah don’t think those are the right words.”
“Surprise,” the whole room filled with ponies shouted as Pinkie rolled us through the doorway of a small shed into a massive room, guess this was the favor Discord owed. Pinkie explained that normally she throws a huge party for anypony or in this case; dog that comes into Ponyville. She had been planning it since Spike and I shared the cupcake and the black cube that ended me up in the hospital so that kind of delayed the party.
“I was wondering why you hadn’t thrown him a party like when Twilight and I came to town,”
“It’s not much of an excuse but Sugarcube Corner got really busy after your visit and then I had to watch Pound and Pumpkin as well as going home for some… stuff.”
I lifted the edge of my slice of cake then popped it into my maw, “Its fine, Pinkie, no need to explain. When do you think Twilight will get back with Fluttershy? I need to talk to her about something.”
“You can talk to any of us Gem,” she shouted as she propped her head in her hooves, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Um well… you know what; never mind… I’m gonna go get more punch.”
“Okie dokie lokie.”
I walked away, my tail dragging behind me. I mean how could just tell someone about what happened with Discord, the whole making me sit thing was still making me feel queasy to my stomach or maybe it was the 6 gallons of ice-cream… I dipped a cupful of punch out of the bowl and felt something mushy snap down on my wrist making me yelp in surprise and pulled a small alligator out of the bowl along with it. It looked at me with one eye then the other.
“Can I have my paw back please,” I asked it to which it redoubled its efforts to gum me to death.
“Hay Gem!”
“Hello Applebloom…”
“What’s wrong not enjoying yer party,” she asked and I lifted my arm to show my attacker, “Oh, hi Gummy.”
“Gummy,” I asked, the alligator opening his jaws to squeak and he fell on the floor, “Fitting.”
“He’s Pinkie Pie’s pet baby alligator, he always gums ponies when he first meets them.”
“Why was he in the punch bowl though?”
“He was what?! Eww! Ah drunk some of that punch!”
I took a sip from my cup, “Hmm… it’s not that bad…” I saw Applebloom making gagging faces, “What? I eat gemstones, should my tastes really be that surprising?”