//------------------------------// // Race before the End! // Story: Pinkie Pie Investigations: A Bootleg Fluttershy // by Karibela //------------------------------// The guards at the gates of Canterlot were bored, naturally. There were two of them, both in full equipment, as they stood letting ponies in for the majority of the day. Yawn. However, there was a while in that day when nopony had come in. The guard on the right was just about to strike up a conversation during it, seeing as there was nothing better to do, but he was stopped by the other. “Hey, stay alert. There’s a pegasus coming over.” Both of them stood to attention while the yellow pony set to ground, wearing a satchel. “Oh, hey Fluttershy,” one of the guards said. The pegasus paused. “O-oh, hello! I wasn’t late for the vote, was I?” The guard smiled, shaking his head. “Oh course not, Miss Fluttershy. Come right in.” The yellow mare seemed relieved, and she began to walk in. The one who didn’t greet her nudged the other one in the back. “Say, there’s some other ones with her, too. See them approaching? They must be her friends.” “Oh yeah? Mane six and all, huh. That’s strange… I didn’t know she had another yellow pegasus friend. Looks almost alike from over here.” “Yeah… wait, why is she coming so fast? Hey! Slow down!” “She’s heading right for you, Miss!-” The pegasus turned and paused. The first thing she saw was Fluttershy, aiming a kick straight for the head. “HYAH!” Before Flutterbot 2.0 could speak, her head had come clean off… again. “What the?” The guard who spoke to Flutterbot held his spear out, shaking.  “Y-you just cut her head clean off!” Fluttershy turned, and saw the cables sparking where Flutterbot’s head used to be. “O-oh, yeah… pretty cool, huh?” By the time the rest of the guards had come and circled the poor pegasus, the rest of the team had caught up. Pinkie led the charge. She could see that Fluttershy seemed to have taken the guards by surprise; there was a mix between shock, and terror, and even Celestia had come out of her palace to watch. “What is the meaning of this, guards?” she said as she landed, folding her wings and staring  uneasily at the robot’s body. Pinkie galloped to the scene and skidded to a halt. “Miss Celestia, wait! I can explain all of this!” Celestia noticed the pink pony, and put a hoof up to her guards. “That would be most useful, Pinkie Pie. Explain for us why your friend, the gentlest and most kind pony I’ve ever known, just kicked a mare’s head off, please.” So, this is where I’ve gotta reveal the truth, Pinkie thought. “I’m glad you asked, Miss Celestia.” “Well, you said you could explain it, if I recall correctly.” Pinkie scratched the back of her neck. “Oh yeah! Heh… well, it’s pretty simple. Y’see, just a couple days ago, diamond dogs had made a ton of robots, and they replaced the whole of Ponyville with’em! We just escaped, and one of ‘em said this one,” she said, motioning her head to the robot, “Was gonna fill out the grand evil plan: to deliver this package to Canterlot!” “That’s absurd,” muttered one of the guards. “Surely, princess, you couldn’t believe such-” “I can believe it,” said Celestia, wearily looking at Pinkie. “Oh yes, I can believe you… Pinkie Pie, you, Twilight, and the rest of your friends have saved the world multiple times. Seriously, Unnamed Guard, I’ve heard way more convoluted world-domination plots than this.  So yes, I think I trust them.” “B-b-b, but Princess!” Unnamed blubbered. Celestia raised a hoof to her chin. “If what you are saying is true, the real question is clear. What is in the package?” “I… I think I know that one, which is why this is ridiculous to begin with!” Unnamed stated. “The deceased Fluttershy asked me, before she was going to come in, about if-” “Quiet, Unnamed Guard,” Celestia scorned. “Give the true heroes time to tell us what they think, hmm?” Unnamed looked back at her, speechless. “Well, logically.... we think it’s a bomb!” Pinkie announced. “With the potential of massive destruction!” Rarity shouted. “Maybe a psych bomb… which turns everypony stupid!” Twilight cried. More and more of Ponyville shouted in their suggestions at the princess, who looked back at her guards with concern. Nodding her head, the guards circled the package and brought everypony as far away as possible. “Right, guards,” Celestia said, “This could be the most dangerous item that Canterlot has ever had brought to it. We need somepony strong, brave enough to face the… ah, Unnamed, I see that you have stepped up to the…” she began to have an air of panic in her voice, “Be careful! You’re ripping at that package! Any wrong move, and-” Unnamed stood up, holding a litter of tiny pieces of paper. “And what, I could get a papercut? Look here, it’s all voting papers.” “Voting papers?” the Ponyville crowd all shouted in confusion. “Now, c’mon!” Pinkie shouted. “There’s gotta be a bomb hid in there somewhere, that’s crazy! Even a firecracker, or two? Search harder!” “Do you want me to blow up? And no, look,” Unnamed said, shaking the contents of the brown package on to the floor. “I’m telling you, it’s a ton of paper.” As the paper hit the floor, Pinkie heard a voice muffled by distance. “That’s cool and all, but… say, did any of you hear that? It sounded kinda like a, ‘noooo’.” “A ‘no’?” Celestia inquired. “Quick, Unnamed. throw more paper on the floor. Your princess demands it of you.” Unnamed sighed, throwing another heap on the floor. “As your ladyship says, so I do...” Pinkie heard the voice again, however this time, it was real loud. “NooOooOoO!” It sounded as if there were a wailing banshee right behind her. She turned. Thankfully no wailing banshee, but there was the most strangest contraption on wheels that she’d ever seen, ridden on by three diamond dogs. The contraption was bursting hot steam from the back, cogs were spinning in place a thousand times a minute, and the whole unholy beast sped past outer Canterlot’s fields faster than anypony could gallop. “Pleeeeeease!” shouted one of the diamond dogs, raising his claws and begging. “Please, don’t discard my papars!” Celestia looked over the group in the mechanical wagon, as they slowed down, the crowd splitting to make room for them, and skidded a turn next to the Canterlot gate. “So… this was your doing? Perhaps you could shed some light on this. Why were the entire population of Ponyville turned into robots?” “They...” the diamond dog started, looking at the ground guiltily. “I had no ill will aganst tham, honast! It was… it was for the vote, the very same wan that will happen today. That is why we made everypony into robots!” “You… you had the power, the skills to...” “Yas. there are many things we can do underground, you see… well, you don’t. No pony up here wad evar see. You don’t care about as! And that is precisely why I told my kin to make these robots!” Pinkie glared at them. “Whaddya mean, ‘never cared for you’? We let you live in peace right next to Ponyville, don’t we? We let you live where you want, an-” Celestia stopped her in mid-sentence. She looked awkward “Um, Pinkie… the vote. It has something rather important to do with diamond dogs. It was… a vote, to give houses and residence to the diamond dogs above ground.” “Whaaaat?” Pinkie cried. “And you’re saying that...” The leading diamond dog was looking furiously at Celestia. “That we war nevar given the chance to vote! It was ponies only! Tartarus, if it warn’t for Kimbar scouting Canterlot news-scrolls a month ago, we wad have nevar even known!” All eyes aimed at Celestia. She fumbled, even more awkward than she’d looked before. “Well, um… yes.” She aimed her head at the ground, muttering under her breath. “This is true. The nobility convinced me, once we were talking, that the diamond dogs would never take the vote seriously. They said they’d never even get to the voting station, and that’s why… why we decided to make it ponies only. She stiffened up. “But clearly, that’s not what we have heard today. The diamond dogs have shown us, today, that not only are they willing to vote, but that they have the technology to rebuild an entire town, full of ponies, just in order to get their own vote through. I wouldn’t say it was the most practical of ways to do it, but still… it was done by them. “There is no reason for me to think that they are inferior. Neigh, I’d say they knew more than many ponies I do.” “So what’s this mean?” Pinkie asked. “Are they… gonna get their vote in for this?” “Of course, Pinkie,” Celestia answered. “They deserve it more than anypony here. It’s a good thing that you came here, Andray, leader of the diamond dogs. You arrived at the right time… just before the final decision was made!” “Than I shall see that our word is taken as seriously as any othar,” Andray replied. ~~ The mane five arrived by balloon. The clouds weren’t as thick today, but one stood out for above the others. “Hey… what’re you doin’ in my house? Pinkie, I told you to give that balloon back! What gives?” Pinkie moved herself to the front of the basket. so she could see her friend clearly. “C’mon, Dashie! We just wanted to watch your TV. Something pretty big’s about to go down.” “Well, uh… okay,” Rainbow replied, reaching for the remote. “So, uh… did’ja do anything  today?” Pinkie thought a bit on it. “Kinda, I guess.” “Kinda?” “Y’know, the norm,” Pinkie replied. Rainbow nodded. “Ahh, I see. Saved Ponyville from utter destruction, or something? Cool.” She turned on the TV. ~~... Latest reports say that the robot menace has been cleared up... huh, they didn't find Twilight's robot, though... ah! Never mind that, we've got the results! So it looks like the equine votes have just been counted in, Dirk. Astonishingly, there’s a 50/50 tie on the vote… will diamond dogs get permanent residence above ground, or will it be rejected?~~ ~~... Well, Greenbow, it seems like the answer to which side’ll emerge victorious is pretty clear. The only votes left are the diamond dogs themselves, and, well… oh, look, they’ve just been received. Luna’s using a magic spell to check them, and we’ll find out in just a few seconds. Here, look, she's speaking now...~~ ~~“Ponies of Equestria! Thy vote has been counted out, and… the diamond dog’s permanent residence above ground… has been rejected!~~ Everyone in the basket stared at the screen, dumbfounded. “What the?” “That can’t be! They must have been rigged from the beginning!” Twilight shouted.   Rainbow looked confused. “Huh? You guys are getting way too overworked on this… see? Look in the crowd. The diamond dogs are cheering like crazy.” The ponies in the basket peered closer. Sure enough, every dog that was in the crowd looked as happy as could be, while the ponies, Celestia, and all the other royalty were looking just as confused they were. “Well… shucks, girls,” Applejack said, scratching her chin. “A’ s’pose they never wanted it in the first place. What a weird series of events, huh.” “I guess we learned a couple of morals n’stuff today, huh?” Pinkie said. “Let’s see… don’t trust robots, extreme paranoia sometimes works in your favour...” Twilight cut in. “Uh, how about, ‘don’t assume what somepony else wants, since it might just be what you wanted, or think they wanted, in the first place?”  “Aww, but Twilight…!” Pinkie shrugged. “Eh… yeah, sure. Good enough.”