ty beta of Duel Ponies..." Twilight crossed her arms, but reluctantly drew her five cards."Ever since I came to Duellist Island, I've been getting the strangest feeling that this was all an elaborate ruse by Steven Magnet to swindle me of my most worthy possessions," Twilight spoke to herself as she prepared her deck for the final battle of the tournament. "After facing idiots, mimics, the entire Greek pantheon, and even my BFF Rainbow Dash, I'm not so sure that any of this was meant to be taken as a game..."
Well, what do you expect, Twilight? Yami appeared next to Twilight. We all know that Steven Magnet is a homosexual character who was wrote out for over ninety-eight percent of the real show. They've had no time to change his character one bit. Which is weird; considering what Hasbro did do...
"Despite Twilight Sparkle being easy pickings with my Left Eye, I still can't wrap my head around this little incident..." Steven Magnet was sitting down at his computer watching an episode of Friendship is Magic. He watched in detail as the Main Six became Breezies, and led the others back home. "So, are they still marketable to children in this state, or did Natasha just do this for fun? I just can't tell...
"I really should be preparing a deck to defeat Twilight, though..." Steven said as the end credits appeared. "But why in Faust's name did they tease me by making the Main Six Breezies?"
*You've been here time and time again. You can pretty much imagine the intro now...*
PO-NI-OH! THE ABRIDGED SERIES
"The Title Match of the Duellist Island Tournament will now begin," said one of Steven's men, "Entering to the right side of the viewing balcony, Twilight Sparkle; the Princess of Card Games!"
Yami-Twilight slowly approached the arena with her deck loaded into a western gun holster. She was wearing a cowgirl hat and whistling a melodic tune to herself. Upon arriving at her stand, she whipped the deck out of the holster, put it on the table, then threw away her hat.
"I came to play card games and kick ass. And I'm all out of ass..." Yami said as she waited for Steven Magnet to arrive.
"Gee, Applejack. Twilight makes a better western sheriff than you do..." Pinkie Pie said from the balcony.
"That's a load of BS right there..." Applejack crossed her arms.
"Hey, Rainbow Dash. You wanna ditch Applejack and Cadence?" Pinkie whispered.
"Sure thing, Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash said, then ran off with Pinkie Pie.
"Why are you girls leaving before the duel starts?" Cadence asked.
"Sorry, Cadence and Applejack," Pinkie Pie called back. "Urgent call! I need to tell everyone else that the tournament's over before they all start rioting and banging on the doors for entry!"
"And I'm helping her with that!" Rainbow Dash added as they vanished from sight.
"Applejack? Do you think they're leaving us because we're underrated?" Cadence spoke, but realized that she was talking to nothing. "Applejack? Where are you?"
As Cadence realized that she was all alone, an evil grin crept upon her face as green flames quickly reverted her to being Chrysalis.
"Now that those blithering idiots are out of the way, I can succeed in stealing Trixie and the Illusions and holding them hostage," Chrysalis smiled deviously. "They might be vegetables, but they're still integral to the plot. Twilight would do anything to get them back; even if it meant throwing away her title right after she earned it..."
"And now, entering the arena; the Creator of Card Games himself!" the guard spoke as Steven Magnet appeared out of the ground with a fart noise accompanying his ascent. "Ladies and gentlemen; I give you all, Steven Magnet!"
When Steven appeared at his arena, he put his deck down, hearing a mechanical noise for a brief instance. Once it finished, he spoke, "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with 'F'..."
"Is it freak?" Yami Twilight asked viciously, "Because that's all I can see in your heart after this long tournament, Magnet...
"Do you know how much time and money you've wasted by staying to the broken rules of the very card game you created?" Twilight demanded. "People have died because this game is still in the beta process. Trixie, Fuchsia, and Lavender suffered extreme mental damage because of you! When we move onto the plotline with Adagio Dazzle and the three Equestrian God Cards, I'm going to look back on this grave of a game you created and dance on its corpse..."
"Are you going to play the game with me or not?" Steven pouted.
"I suppose I might as well. We'll call it the Death to the sty beta of Duel Ponies..." Twilight crossed her arms, but reluctantly drew her five cards.
"With this here armour, ah feel like a real badass..." Applejack said to herself as she walked closer and closer to a guard standing outside of a door with bright colours on it.
The guard simply flipped through pages of a comic whilst he stood by on duty. He snickered at some of the pages, gasping at others, and eventually threw the whole thing down in fear after seeing one image. Afterwards, he was immediately struck by Applejack and knocked unconscious.
"Now then, let's see just what's going on in this here candy-coated heart of darkness..." Applejack approached the door and opened it slowly, gasping upon seeing who was inside.
The guard who was watching the duel heard his phone ringing. He turned it on and said, "What's so important that you had to interrupt my work?"
"Sorry, sir. It's just that Trixie, Fuchsia, and Lavender all escaped from the nursery," the guard on the other end of the line responded. "Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are..."
"I'm not surprised. They were bound to get out one way or another," the guard smiled viciously. "Now we can capture the punk who did it, lock them up in there with them, and maybe even get a bonus from Mr. Magnet..."
From the balcony, Chrysalis reverted to Cadence as she saw Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie return. However; she was more focused on what the two guards were saying to each other.
Sounds like Applejack made her move... Chrysalis spoke inside her head. I guess it's time to uphold my end of the bargain as well...
Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash noticed that Chrysalis – who was still under the disguise of being Cadence – was walking away from the balcony, just as Twilight was going to take her next turn.
"Hey, Cadence? Where are you going?" Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.
"Oh. Uh.. umm..." Chrysalis coughed, but still kept her back towards Rainbow and Pinkie. "I have to go somewhere. I'm getting my magna cum laude today..." she said in Cadence's voice.
"Magna cum laude?" Rainbow Dash still had suspicions about Chrysalis's ruse.
"It's much better than your excuse, I can tell you that..." Chrysalis walked off into the darkness.
"Hand over the vegetables, Applejack!" said a guard as he and two others surrounded Applejack. They raised guns towards Applejack, and the three sleeping girls that she was trying to rescue. "Surrender quietly, and we'll give you a better life. Pretty reasonable compromise, wouldn't you say?"
"Ah highly doubt that bein' threatened by guns is gonna make me drop the girls." Applejack remained stoic.
"If any of you pull the trigger, I shall be forced to rip all of your organs out of your bodies and eat them in front of your dying faces!" Chrysalis appeared from the fires of her disguise.
"Chrysalis? What in the hay are you doing here?" Applejack's pupils dilated when she saw the truth. "Ya can't stand up to guns, even if your body and hair are made out of Swiss cheese!"
"That's right. So put your hands behind your head, get down on the floor, and stay out of this, bitch!" the guards focused their attention on Chrysalis.
"I know you will, but what about me?" Chrysalis held up a spell card, causing a bright green flash to envelop the guards. "Activate Spell Card; Chain Energy!"
Within seconds, the guards were all bound and gagged by emerald ropes. As they struggled to break free, Applejack pushed through the group with Trixie, Fuchsia, and Lavender still holding onto her back.
"Chrysalis... Why would you save me?" Applejack asked.
"Simple, really. I know I'm not the only one who's said this before, but Trixie and the Illusions are integral to the plot," Chrysalis explained. "Without them, Twilight won't be able to claim the three Equestrian God Cards, therefore making her character far too cliché. So until we get out of this place, you and I are partners in crime. Sound like a good idea?"
"Ah guess..." Applejack gave Fuchsia and Trixie to Chrysalis. "It's better than what role I've been given in this story anyways..."
"And now, I give to you, the absolutely fantastical Toon Rainbow Dash!" Steven Magnet summoned a clone of Rainbow Dash, but it looked like a perfect copy of the one from the show. Performing some aerial kicks and dives, it finally took its place on Steven's side of the field.
"It's like looking in a mirror. Right, Rainbow Dash?" Yami-Twilight spoke to Rainbow from the arena.
"Yeah, right! That looks nothing like me!" Rainbow Dash looked at her pony self in denial. "She needs to be around twenty-percent cooler. Then she's me as a pony..."
"How much farther to the exit, Chrysalis?" Applejack asked as the two of them ran up the stairs whilst keeping a firm grip on Trixie, Fuchsia, and Lavender.
"Search me. I've never been to this pedo's castle before..." Chrysalis shrugged.
"You're almost done, Twilight Sparkle," Steven's demeanour changed to a more savage one. "My Left Eye of Darkness which I stole enables me to see all of the cards in your hand, ensuring that you don't pull any naughty surprises on little old me..."
Twilight, I think he's right for once. Twilight spoke to Yami-Twilight via telepathy. I'm not sure exactly how he's doing it, but I can definitely feel a strong dark magical presence in the area. As if something is creeping into our souls and taking a look at our possessions so that Steven will have all of the pleasure of getting rid of them...
What makes you say that, Twilight? Yami asked.
Have you seen how his left eye glows a powerful shade of red every time it blinks? Twilight pointed it out. Doesn't that look strangely suspicious?
Suspicious or not, there's only one way we can ensure our victory. Yami-Twilight smiled. Twilight, with your permission, I'd like to use the transformation spell again.
Sorry, Yami. There's no-one else here I can use for a template. Twilight sighed, examining the whole arena. If you were thinking of turning Steven Magnet into a Breezie, that would be a terrible idea. You can't just solve all of your problems by making your foes the species struggling with the problem...
Come on, Twilight. Just for three minutes. It'll barely hurt him... Yami pulled out the spell from the book. It even says that I don't even need the template if I just use it to the point where I could possibly overload my magic and kill myself in a massive explosion that would rend the whole island and take all of our friends down with us...
No. Twilight! We're doing this the old-fashioned way and that's that! Twilight's voice boomed.
Killjoy... Yami crossed her arms.
"Are you struggling to make a move, Twily-girl? In that case, let me help you by upping the ante..." Steven's left eye suddenly changed the area around the duel simulator into a hellish world with red stormy skies. There were demonic vines growing all around them, and even a few wrapping themselves around the legs of both Steven and Twilight. "I've just taken this duel to Inferno. Now we're playing a deadly Tartarus Game but with the hell that Yami-Adagio prefers..."
See what I mean?! Yami yelled back at Twilight. None of this would be happening if I'd just been allowed to breezify him...
You're cruising for a serious bruising, Yami... Twilight's brows dropped as she cracked her knuckles for a fight.
"Well, we're here, Chrysalis. Free from Magnet's castle..." Applejack looked out onto the forest of the island. "So, are we still friends?"
"Does this answer your question?" Chrysalis violently kicked Applejack in the nether regions, causing her to fall to her knees and drop Lavender. "Now that Trixie is free, I can assume her form and become the new rival of the show. With how similar she and I despise Twilight, she won't be able to tell the difference..." Chrysalis opened Trixie's mouth wide and gave her a tongue kiss. During that time, green flames flew all around Trixie's body and up into Chrysalis's body.
"Ah don't know what's weirder. The fact that she made out with Trixie, or with a mindless vegetable..." Applejack said as she watched the whole scene taking place.
Within the short span of ten seconds, Chrysalis had become Trixie Lulamoon. She admired her new body and smirked maliciously.
"By the way, Applejack. I still need some time to rest myself until Steven Magnet eventually falls at the hands of Twilight Sparkle and her alter-ego. So would you be a dear and keep me company until then?" Chrysalis mimicked Trixie's voice flawlessly.
"Like heck ah will!" Applejack stood up and performed a violent roundhouse kick that knocked Chrysalis against the wall and caused her to fall unconscious.
"Now to finish Queen Chrysalis off once and for all," Applejack walked over to the cliff with Chrysalis in her hands. "By tossing her from a really big height so that all of her bones break and she turns into a big, red, gooey paste..." Applejack violently threw Chrysalis into the forest from a two-hundred foot height. She saw the body fall through the leaves and onto the ground, then she turned back around to pick Trixie and the Illusions back up. "Let's get you girls back to Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. They'll know what to do with ya'll..."
"Hey, girls. Look at what ah foun—" Applejack had just noticed that from the balcony, the arena had turned into a massive red ball of dark magic with lightning shooting out from all directions "—wait, what's going on here?"
"Applejack, we need to get to the arena, fast!" Rainbow Dash saw Applejack with the bodies of the Illusions, but brushed it off because Twilight was in trouble. "While you were gone, Steven Magnet turned the duel into a Tartarus Game. So now we could lose Twilight forever!"
"Come on, Applejack! Time's a wasting!" Pinkie Pie leapt down onto the arena, then stretched her arms out to keep herself from falling off of the edges of the walkway.
"You can't defeat me now, Twily-girl. Now that we're in the deepest, darkest depths of Inferno, you can't possibly defeat me," Steven's voice had become venomous. "Your mind-switching tactic has served you well so far, but now your body is beginning to crack under the pressure..."
"He's right, Yami. I'm dying here..." Twilight's breathing became heavy. "This hell is starting to drain me both mentally and physically..."
Oh, come on now, Twilight. What happened to that part about me 'crusing for a brusing'? Yami wasn't buying Twilight's suffering.
"Forget about that, Yami. This just turned into a matter of life and death. And I feel like I'm receiving the death part..." Twilight's vision became hazy. She could barely make out Steven Magnet, his monsters, and his side of the field.
Just hold out for one more second, Twilight. Then I'll take—
"Ya... mi..." Twilight begun to faint towards her side of the console. "You've... gotta... defeat... Steven Magnet... and end... this... sty beta... once and for all..." then, Twilight blacked out entirely.
"Twilight?" Yami shook Twilight gently, but saw that her eyes wouldn't budge. "You can't die on me now! Hasbro would discontinue the show if you died! Wake up! Twilight! TWILIGHT!" Yami screamed in denial.
In Twilight's head, she could see her whole life flashing before her eyes. Every moment was there, including the best moments from each of her different ages. It even showed her moments that she and Yami shared together; including eating ice cream, playing on the beach, and even just hanging with Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack at CHS.
Outside, each of Twilight's friends felt a chill hit their spines, causing them to shudder in shock.
"Did you feel that, girls?" Pinkie Pie asked. "It feels like Twilight Sparkle tried calling for help, but her prayers went unanswered..."
"This duel must be taking a heavy toll on her..." Rainbow Dash looked at the massive storm as she stood on the edge of it. "We've gotta pony up and let her know that she's not in this alone..."
"You're right. All of you! Hold hands!" Pinkie Pie instructed, tightly holding onto Rainbow Dash and Applejack's hands as they did the same.
"Twilight. Don't ever forget that we're all here for you, no matter what..." Applejack said as she felt her ears growing.
"You can't let this big bad meanie get the jump on you, Twilight! Just keep smiling and you can do anything!" Pinkie Pie concentrated hard herself, feeling excess hair growing as a tail of sorts.
"Our friendship will help you out a whole lot. And even though Rarity and Fluttershy will be introduced in the next arc involving the three Equestrian God Cards, our friendship will be enough to help you overcome Steven's dark magic and win the duel..." Rainbow Dash's speech was the longest, but she grew wings as well as the ears and extra hair.
"Now then, Twilight. With your baby twin out of the way, I think I'll have another peaksie at your mind, as well as your cards..." Steven's evil smile returned. "Now then, let's have a look at what you're going to try and—
"—what in the name of the almighty Natasha Levinger is going in here?!" Steven's vision of Twilight's cards was blotted out by Twilight's friends. "Twilight's friends are blocking me out of her mind! This is impossible! Not to mention that this is a deus ex machina of the highest caliber..."
"Steven Magnet! No matter what you think or do, you'll never defeat the Magic of Friendship!" Pinkie Pie's ghost spoke severely to Magnet.
"With Twilight as our best friend, you'll never be able to look at her cards, read her mind, jerk off to her duels, or make us drooling vegetables with your powers ever again!" Rainbow Dash scowled at Steven.
"Now think about what you've done, and allow Twilight to end this once and for all!" Applejack was the most humble of the group.
"And now, I activate; Multiverse!" a number of screens appeared, showing Steven everything that Twilight had done, but with different settings and different versions of Twilight and her friends in each one.
"No! There are so many of them! I can't tell which one is the abridged series!" Steven Magnet stumbled backwards, agitating the vines that had shackled his legs.
"And that means that you'll never be able to watch Friendship is Magic, or Po-Ni-Oh! The Abridged Series ever again!" Yami banged her fist down on the console.
"NO! I can't live without either of those things!" Steven Magnet's face turned pale as he began to sweat. "Without Friendship is Magic, I can't remain who I am. And without Po-Ni-Oh! The Abridged Series I'll never be able to continue my acting career..."
"Don't worry, Magnet. There's always Friendship is Witchcraft," Yami smiled herself. "Although everyone knows that with how little it produces, it's just not as good..."
"OH NOOOOOOOO!" Steven Screamed and fell backwards into a pit of red energy. He landed with a violent impact, shattering the hellish landscape and returning Twilight to the arena where the duel had begun.
"Twilight! You won! You finally killed off Duel Ponies!" Rainbow Dash brought Twilight into a big hug. "Now that Magnet's out of the picture, Trixie can come back, and she can make the game into a much more balanced, much more fair, and overall much more satisfying experience for everyone!"
"Thanks, Rainbow Dash. But I didn't do it alone," Twilight looked at the rest of her friends. "If it weren't for your cheesy speeches on the importance of friendship, I wouldn't have been able to stop Steven Magnet from looking at my cards..."
"Twilight! I've gotta give props to you..." Trixie spoke from atop the balcony. "You managed to avenge me and my friends..."
"So, are you gonna say you owe me one now, Trixie?" Twilight grinned deviously.
"Don't push your luck, Twilight..." Trixie crossed her arms. "We're still rivals locked in mortal combat. In the next arc, I'll make this game even better than the mess that this gay lizard made of it; so that when I defeat you, it'll be all the more satisfying..."
"Well, I guess I'll see you then..." Twilight and her friends left the arena together and holding hands. "Come on, girls. Let's go get a victory cake..."
As Twilight and her friends disappeared from Trixie's sight, a green flame flashed in her eyes.
"Those fools are so gullible..." Trixie turned back into Chrysalis in a bright column of green flame. "Now that they believe I'm dead, I can safely enter Magnet's room and violently rip his Left Eye out of him. And by the way. If you're wondering how I got back up here so fast, then I'm just as confused as you are..."
PO-NI-OH! THE ABRIDGED SERIES
[Still waiting for Hasbro to release Breezie Main Six figures...]
[How does Chrysalis keep getting away with identity theft?]
The guards were still tied up by Chain Energy.