The two had begun their 80’s power metal mind trip as the crowd begged for more, the pyrotechnics blasted to the beat of a steady baseline and the stage lights moved around the crowd of thousands. It was a glorious spectacle and was only rivaled by Pink Floyd’s The Wall and Queen at Live Aid. However, switching back to reality the situation was quite different; during their shared delusion of grandeur they were in actuality incoherently shouting into their mics, strumming a cringe inducing hodgepodge selection of notes and not to mention Dinky had long since left the room roughly ten minutes into their performance which at this point was fifty minutes ago.
They only stopped when the power to the shed had been cut by Snips uncle Whooves whom had had just returned home with Ditzy from their trip to get his cousin Sparkles settled in her dorm at The University of Mareami. The reason for the power outage however was quite simple he needed some peace and quiet after the long trip. The two decided to leave their amazing and powerful day of practice behind and head into the house to put away their school bags and instruments.
“We should probably work on that presentation since its due in two days. I mean it’s not like we actually pumped much worked into it anyway and I think Spike’s gonna know if we BS’d our way through it,” said Snails as they walked back to the house.
Meanwhile, Snips aunt was busy preparing dinner in the kitchen and his uncle was sitting in a recliner reading the mail received during their absence. As they walked inside the brown earth pony nodded his head behind the letter he was reading as a signal of acknowledgment of the two colts and went back to the task at hoof. They proceeded to put their bags upstairs in Snips room as they were going back down the stairs Ditzy called out to them.
“Hey, Snails are you staying for dinner?”
“I think we’re going have to give you guys a rain check on the food, we kinda need to head to the library to get started on the presentation,” hollered Snips back to his aunt.
“Oh, okay if you two are still hungry when you get back just check inside the microwave,” said Ditzy as the two walked out the door.
The two spent the next three hours mulling over books at the library. Even though they spent so much time there today, little actually got accomplished and scattered on the table were several books ranging from powerful wizards and leaders, to ancient vampires to the heroes of the wild west.
“Need any help guys,” a recognizable voice called out from behind them. It was Twilight whom was still acting as the local librarian and with her was her new assistant Harry the Bear. Who needed a job after being let go from job as tour guide and spending six years at San Quentin for accidentally eating some of the tourists. Twilight was reluctant at first, but… since Spike had moved out she had desperately needed an assistant with fingers she had no other choice.
“This is tough. How are we supposed to know what a bunch of dead guys would think of the place? I mean it’s not like we can ask them,” said a very exhausted Snips.
“GRRRR RAHHHH AGHH ASCHH GWWW,” roared Harry and pointed to something across the room to which the others slightly panicked and back away before he stopped and let out a defeated groan.
The translation of what Harry was actually saying is as follows.
“Ello gents thars some new encyclopedias that just came in this morning, I hope that helps.”
They backed away slightly alarmed.
“This sucks I’ve already done my time. They told me it would be this way on the outside. Can’t anyone speak bear,” were Harry’s thoughts as the three reacted to his speech.
Now back to the plot.
“Sorry I couldn’t be of more help to you guys, but it’s getting late and I need to close up shop sort to speak,” said Twilight with a small smile as she was locking the book return slot and putting away the sign out logbook. As she walked them out the door she wished them good luck with their assignment.
“Well, it’s only seven dude, you wanna hit the Circle C and grab some nachos and a slushy.”
“Eh? Why not it’s like I’m in the mood to go home and get yelled at by my dad,” said Snails in a tone of slight apathy.
Within sixteen minutes they were at the familiar convenience store on the outskirts of town. The Circle C was essentially the first and last stop for anypony leaving or entering Ponnyville from Canterlot. It wasn’t special or anything, but its magic florescent lighting hummed 24/7, 365 days a year making it popular for anyone looking for a few groceries, lotto tickets or even a midnight snack. The only living thing in store at night was the manager and lone grave yard shift worker an earth pony named Sure Shot Stevens a very miserable middle aged Stallion who believe it or not was a highly decorated soldier in the Royale Guard before he was dishonorably discharged for giving the code red on Santiago. Add the fact that he spent seven years in prison for it, his wife leaving him and the effects of forcing himself to work every night without a day off and it would be safe to say he wasn’t all there.
Meanwhile, the two were getting their salty cheesy snacks and headache inducing ice drinks and went to the counter to pay for their supplies and stopped before listening to Sure Shot talking to himself.
“Why do they come to me to die,” Sure Shot said twitching his jaw slightly.
“Huh? Who,” said Snips frightfully confused.
“Wha…oh, it’s nothing, what can I do for you boys tonight,” he says shaking his head violently trying to regain his composure. He looks down at the nachos, slushies and Funyuns
.
“Will that be all? Your total is seven bits.”
With that purchase they had basically blown through the funds they had received earlier today. They had left the store and sat to eat their bounty on the sidewalk and were bathed in the glow of its lit up sign flickering as a bulb was about to burn out and the soft white light of the florescent fixtures from the inside of the Circle C.
“Bro let me tell you Sure Shot gets crazier every time we see him,” said Snips as he shook his head and started to gorge himself on the warm cheesy goodness.
“He’s not that bad,” said Snails as he looked back at Sure Shot in the store only to see him repeatedly slamming his head inside the microwave and flailing his front legs around.
“Oooohkay, you may have a point.”
“Anyway we only have a day to finish that report or we’ll flunk History and my dad will send me to the Canterlot Military Academy,” said Snails sounding very worried because he figured that he had the most to lose.
“We could…” Snips was saying as he was interrupted by a large roar and it seemed to be coming from an ominous looking cloud.
All of a sudden a large flash of light and smoke appeared before them and once it settled the rectangular shape before them was that of an old Phone Stable and the unclear shape of a pony on the inside. They blinked with their mouths ajar and turned to each other.
“Duuuude,” they said slowly in unison still reeling from the shock.
Still bellowing a wicked looking fog, the doors of the box opened up and the figure stepped out. It was an older looking unicorn with an ashy looking midnight blue coat and a graying blonde mane with a short white beard. He was wearing what looks to be a tan trench coat and sunglasses. Then he spoke.
“I know, what you’re thinking because I’ve been through this before and yes it does look like a crumby old phone stable and as for why I’m here let me say that the future solely depends on you two morons finishing that presentation and passing that class,” said the stranger in a single breath that would even make Pinkie envious.
“Huh? Wha,” said the two dumbfounded trying to process the information given to them; meanwhile the mystery stallion rolled his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his snout.
“Okay, let me give you guys the skinny. My name is Rufus. The phone stable over there is a time machine and I’m a guardian of time and as well as the peaceful utopia of tomorrow. You see time is actually inconsistent and deteriorates eventually and it’s up to Time guardians like me to mend the tears in the fabric of time. Thanks to you guys I’m also apparently a giver of exposition.”
“Yeah, well let’s say we actually believe you and that you aren’t a shared delusion gained from smoking a bag of bad clover then what does this have to do with us,” said Snips in a mix of sarcasm and confusion.
*heavy sigh* “I told you it’s to save the future. Oh, you want me to elaborate? Your band Wild Stallions and its music are responsible for bringing peace to the world in way you can never truly comprehend. Still don’t believe the time traveling part,” asked Rufus before looking at his watch and started to count down. “7…6...5…”
“What are you doing dude,” asked Snails hesitantly.
“…2…1,” Rufus said as another phone stable seemed to materialize up from the ground. As the smoke cleared the door opened and out popped another pair of Snips and Snails.
“Whoa,” the two said as they saw themselves appear from the clear box. They look at their doppelgangers with amazement and hesitation.
“Yes, what Rufus said is true and that is one radical future,” said the other Snips.
“If you’re really us, then how many hooves do I have behind my back,” said Snails.
“One,” said the other Snips and Snails in unison.
“Whoa, Awesome,” screamed our Snips and Snails before strumming air guitar.
“Ahem, guys,” said Rufus impatiently as the four looked at him.
“This phone stable can take you to any historical figure listed in this phone book and you can get their by riding the circuits of time.”
Our Snips and Snails are about to get inside the clear box and their counterpart waved to them, but just before they get inside the other Snails calls out.
“Dude, don’t forget to set your watch for 12:30pm!”
Rufus turns to them and says, “be careful the future depends on you guys and remember to party on dudes.”He then leaves in the flash of light after saying something about visiting his grandma while in this time period. The two just shrug their shoulders.
They get inside the machine, open the book and make their first decision based on the tried and true method of picking a page and name at random. The name Snips hoof lands on is William McWalrus, the walrus that united the other sea mammals and freed them from the tyranny of the seals.