The Everfree forest, as the natives called it, had a long and storied history. One remnant of this history was a castle, formerly home to two immortals who now resided elsewhere, covered in vines and slowly disintegrating. Hither and yon, a wall had fallen in on itself; the ancient moat was now an impassable canyon. Still, if anyone had bothered to investigate, they would have found numerous artifacts of historical and practical value scattered across the cobblestones.
Absolutely none of this mattered to the three beings that had suddenly shimmered into, well, being.
"Okay, first thing's first. New body, learn to walk. Or swim, or fly, or whatever." The grey being shook her head, stepping forward experimentally as she took a quick look at her surroundings. "Quadrupedal, hooves, what am I a horse here?"
"Horses are the ones that humans ride on all the time right?" This question came from the yellow one, who was at most a third of the grey one's size. She looked up at her compatriot with cool brown eyes. "Also, you have a horn. Single. Center of your head." The little one tapped her own forehead gently.
"I is say, yes, humans is ride horse." The black one, the only one untransformed by the transition, twisted on his arms to examine the yellow one's back. "Ru is have wings! Ru is fly?"
The grey one blinked. Then she moaned, sitting down and flicking her orange tail. "Oh geez.... Is this My Little Pony? This is My Little Pony, isn't it. Or a close enough analogue world. This SUCKS. Olufun, no offense, but this world is HORRIBLE." She idly adjusted the grey vest she was wearing, noting the blue lines on the stitchwork; at least that wasn't entirely gone this time.
"Wait. Bellatrix, you know this world?" Ru shook her red mane and glanced up at the other... well, horse.
"Oh yeah. Horrible toys, worse kid’s show." The elder horse sighed. "I never really watched it myself, except for this one christmas special that my mom made me watch. Apparently, this one pony named Minty really liked socks, and then christmas was in trouble and then the ponies saved the day with love and purple christmas trees! Crap writing. From what I hear the actual SHOW was even more inane." She waved a hoof vaguely. "No males, no rationality... Relative fictionality, you know? We were bound to stumble on some storyworld someday. Now I guess we look for Dream Valley or whatever it's called."
"Hey, can't be all that bad. You have a horn, you can... gore things!" Ru smiled, flapping her wings experimentally. "And I can fly! Probably. Also, we're in ruins! Maybe the ponies all died and you won't have to suffer?"
"Dying ponies is sad," Olufunmilayo mused. "Dying is sad. I is think, maybe ponies is move?"
Bellatrix looked at the mournful face of her oily companion. It was weird, really, that a yellow-eyed jackal-headed squid thing somehow managed to give her the puppy dog look. Especially since his eyes were little more than discs on the otherwise featureless face.
“...we have to be prepared for any possibility. Anybody see my weapon? It could have morphed into anything.”
“Well, you have a picture on your butt that kinda looks like a sword and shield.”
The unicorn glanced at her flank. “Oh, nice. That’s real nice, making my weapon a damned tattoo. Thank you universe! Maybe it’s magic.”
“Hey, at least you get a picture, blue-eyes!” Ru looked at her own flank. “I’ve got nothing. Maybe it’s cause I’m a kid or something.” She shrugged, taking a few steps around the old cobblestones. “So, is there a pantry around here or should we scavenge for something?”
“Is road,” Olufun suggested, towering up and peering out the non-existent wall. “Road is go place, yes?” He glanced around the ruins with a snort, shaking his head. “Stay is not... too much death. Is not like.”
“Yeah, I’m getting creeped out here too.” Bellatrix stood up, looking out the wall and absentmindedly flicking a small portion of her short mane out of the way. “Second floor, maybe third. I’ll go look for some stairs, maybe you two can just jump out.” She trotted out of the main room, glancing around the decrepit hallways for something resembling a stairway.
Olufun looked after her and shrugged, clambering out the hole and climbing down the wall. He paused, glancing up. “Ru is fly?”
“Hold up. I just...” Ru sputtered, managing to lift off the ground. She glided uncertainly toward the edge of the floor. “This isn’t like flying with bug wings. Or bony wings. This is... I think I’m pushing something, but I don’t know what.” She cautiously slipped out of the room, staying close to the ghlighorii as she descended. “If I fall you have to catch me.”
“Of course!” Olufun chuckled as he continued his spiderlike descent. “I is friend, I is not let fall.” The two of them made it to the ground without incident, and sat down to wait for Bellatrix to emerge from the castle... unaware of the watcher in the dark.
---
In the wake of the Changeling invasion, ponies suffered from a number of mistaken impressions about their newfound neighbors.
First amongst these impressions was that Changelings lacked names. This was only half true; Changelings called themselves by lineage and number, with the eldest of each lineage taking the role of Queen for that line. So when Chrysalis the first was thrown from Canterlot, the other Queens stripped her of her horn and wings, and Chrysalis the second became the new Chrysalis the first.
The second was that Changelings were unified, like ponies, under one leader. Again, this was only half true; the position called Queen by the ponies was more akin to Faction Mother in changling culture, and the Queens did not necessarily have to align their goals outside promoting new Queens for lineages. Even then, it only took a few Queens to do so. The majority of the lineages had decided against joining the invasion.
The third was their sheer number, believing the changelings to breed like ants. This was an outright fabrication by alarmists; Changeling queens had anywhere from five to a hundred drone commanders directly behind them in age, and ten times that in sexless soldiers who served their lineage in exchange for food and shelter. Perhaps together, the lineages might have been able to overwhelm Equestria, but that was as likely to happen as bees and ants deciding to join forces.
Then there was the big one. Changelings feeding on love? Preposterous. Any strong emotion would do, though the queens would feed exclusively on whatever one their lineage was founded on; the fact that love was always a strong emotion had made the Chrysalis lineage powerful and numerous, and the fact that the Regent had generated endless love had proven too much a temptation for their former queen. She and most of her line had effectively been drowned, though enough survived that perhaps they could establish themselves again.
The Spinnerette Queen in particular found this amusing.
Still, the ponies at least knew they existed now. The shapeshifting powers of their race were of little use if the ponies were looking for them. Admittedly, there wasn’t any real threat of revelation, yet. Nobody had figured out how to depower a shapeshift, short of knocking a changeling out, and the ponies never wanted to injure friends. But the fact that the ponies were looking, and that they might suspect out of character changelings...
So it was that some changelings from every lineage had been ordered back from the main lines in a slow, unnoticed retreat. Ponyville especially had to be evacuated. It had taken a few days for the ponies to sit down and compare notes, but once they realized that the changelings had been shuffling ponies and themselves for a long time they had risen up in a panic. If there had been any way for a changeling to be detected... well, the Queens thanked the progenitors that ponies were notoriously stupid.
And if the crew of extra dimensional entities had arrived even three hours later, Ponyville would have been completely emptied of changelings and untouched by their politics. But as Spiracle XCVI paused and turned to look at the strange creature now joined by a pegasus filly and grey unicorn, the winds of fate began to shift. Spiracle XCVI didn’t know this, of course. All she did was flick the information to her lineage’s memory scales...
---
“I’m surprised those stairs managed to hold me all the way down,” Bellatrix grumbled as she joined her two compatriots. “They looked about ready to collapse.” She glanced around, walking down the path briskly; anywhere was better than here. Well, not really. Here was at least peaceful, in a dead sort of way.
“So we’re wandering away from the ancient castle into the big spooky forest.” Ru flipped her mane as she half-trotted, half buzzed along beside the unicorn. “Anybody else here think that’s a step down? The stories all say go to the mysterious ruins in the wilderness, not go away from them.”
Olufunmilayo snorted. “Destiny is stupid.”
“I’m with the big guy, I’ve had enough of prophecies and expectations to last me a lifetime.” Bellatrix cautiously tested the wooden bridge she had just come across. It seemed stable enough, so she continued to walk down the path. “Also, the big creepy forest is probably more dangerous than the ancient castle.”
“Oh goody, I can fight monsters!” Ru bounced around happily, before blinking and staring up at the larger pony. “There are monsters here, right?”
“Nope.”
“Damn.”
“Girl, you’re psycho.”
Ru beamed. Behind them, Olufunmilayo sighed, wondering if taking the street rat along had ruined her childhood forever.
The three of them continued down the path until it ended. Then, arbitrarily, they picked a random direction and walked that way. That is, until they came to a cliff that towered above them impassibly.
“...See, this is why I hate being a horse.” Bellatrix waved a hoof at the offending terrain. “You two can fly or climb up there. Me? I’m stuck down here with a useless HORN. A freaking useless horn that serves NO purpose other than to look cute and is way too small to even be used as a sword and--”
Suddenly a blue light launched itself from the spiraling appendage on Bellatrix’s head, smashing into the rock face with apocalyptic fury. Seconds later, all that remained was a navigable slope of still-cooling stone and ash.
“--holy hell it just shot off the cliff.”
Ru giggled. “Well I think we all know where your weapon went this time!”
Bellatrix just stared at the cliff. Her eyes slowly crossed as she tried to examine the deadly weapon now embedded in her skull. How... why did that even work? Was it because she was angry or something? She’d seen her clothes and weapon shift so many times through all the worldhopping, but for them to actually merge with her like this was unprecedented. Was she even in control anymore?
Olufun laid a hand on her shoulder. “Control is self. If you is worry, focus on you.”
The unicorn blinked. She glanced down at the fingerless appendage, then let her gaze flow up the black arm to her friend’s understanding face. “...I’ll try.”
The ghlighorii smiled. Sometimes it was difficult to remember how many centuries he had lived, he always acted so young, and then he’d dispense a bit of wisdom like that.
“Oooookay that’s mushy and all but creepy forest.” Ru tapped her hoof impatiently, glancing around; this place just reminded her too much of the Avian woods back home, and she was half-expecting a tribal warrior to come and grab her. “Can we please move on here?”
“Right.” The unicorn shook her head, walking up the newly created slope. “Sorry, lost it there for a moment. What’s the matter Ru, you afraid?”
“Oh yes,” the pegasus deadpanned, “quite afraid. The two of you were making googly eyes at each other. Interspecies marriages have so much that can go wrong.”
“Olufun and I will doublecheck everything before we make you the flowergirl,” Bellatrix quipped back. “And we’ll get you an extra floofy dress. Heck, the ponies here will make it. There will be candy and flowers and ribbons and lace and we will stuff you into it and force you to parade around in it all during the wedding.”
She paused.
“It will be completely pink.”
Then she glanced at Ru. The expression on the young one’s face was something akin to sheer wrath, but so cold it might have been crafted from ice. Bellatrix was pretty sure that if Ru still had her claws, she’d be suffering for that.
A moment later, though, Ru wore an absolutely charming smile. “Well I’ll be sure to wear it then! No WAY it could match up to your dress!”
“Bellatrix is Tux. I is Dress.”
The two ponies turned to look at their compatriot, who was innocently staring off as if he hadn’t just said that.
“...This will be one interesting wedding,” Bellatrix deadpanned.
“Indeed.”
“Now I just want you to propose so I can see how it works.”
“Not now.” Olufun shrugged. “I is wait for pigs flying.”
After a few moments, the three of them broke out in laughter.
---
“CIVILIZATION! I repeat, we have found CIVILIZATION!” Ru bounced out of the forest, pointing at a small town with a manic grin. “Soon they shall know the pain of loss. Soon they shall learn to fear for their wallets. Soon they will be beset by.... THE BEST PICKPOCKET IN THE MULTIVERSE!”
“Who, Robin Hood?” Bellatrix cuffed the pegasus lightly. “We’re not going to steal right off the bat. Ponies are supposed to be friendly, and I’m not even sure if they have money. We’ll just hang round while Olufun recharges and--” She cringed, a sudden realization hitting her. “Oh right. Um... Sorry, Olufun, but... black squid thing, colorful talking ponies... yeah.”
Olufunmilayo sighed, but waved them off. “Is okay. I is hide in forest.” He turned back, grabbing a branch and swinging into the foliage; the black sheen of his oily skin made him almost invisible in the dark.
“We’ll come back every day to check up on you.” Bellatrix turned toward the town, bracing herself. “And to save us from the mindless inanity brought upon by random musical numbers. At least it isn’t winter down there, purple christmas trees are just... ugh. Wrong.”
“Bye Olufun! I’ll see if I can get you something awesome!” Ru waved with a wing as she trotted down the road. “I’m totally going to steal it by the way. If you’re right these ponies need a little toughening up anyway!”
“No stealing.”
“You can’t stop me.”
“Who has the cliff-destroying blaster on her head here?” Bellatrix tapped her horn. “I say no stealing.”
“...Fine, I’ll hold off for a day or two.” Ru pouted. “You can be such a mother sometimes.”
The unicorn sighed at that. She didn’t think of Ru as a daughter... more like an annoying sister that tagged along everywhere. Of course Ru wouldn’t understand that, not where she’d come from; children were swapped around like trading cards, and blood relations were only barely recognized.
Bellatrix was so enraptured in her thoughts that she almost missed the sign.
“Welcome to Ponyville.” She rolled her eyes. “Of course. Ponyville. Creative, isn’t it? Whatever.” It was late morning and some of the natives were already out and about; Ru and Bellatrix gained some speculative stares as they walked down the street, but not any really judgmental ones. “See, what’d I tell ya. Friendly. Trusting.”
“Stupid?”
“Probably.”
“I don’t know whether to be happy or sad, there’s no challenge here.” Ru shrugged as she looked around. “Right, so what’s the itinerary? Money, food, lodgings?”
“Information first.” Bellatrix scanned the area. “Most of these seem to be houses, but there are a few that--”
“OHMYGOSH!” A pink blur suddenly pounced on them. “OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH YOU’RE NEW PONIES!”
Bellatrix and Ru blinked.
“....er-” Ru ventured
“Oh this is just splendorifous and amazing and WOW because this means I get to throw you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party and I can just see it with you dancing and oh my gosh the cake this is going to be an AMAZING party and oh my gosh are you sisters because Pound and Pumpkin are sisters except Pound is a colt not a mare so I guess that makes him Pumpkin’s brother they’re so adorable and I know you’ll love to meet them if Mister and Missus Cake let them come to the party oh my gosh I need to know your names!”
“...did you get any of that?” Bellatrix asked Ru.
“I think it wants to know who we are.” The pegasus was staring at the pink pony in fascinated horror; something so bright and cheery had to be an abomination against nature.
“Oh. Um...” The unicorn racked her mind. “Bell Tracks! Call me Tracks. And this is--”
“Pick Pocket.” Ru was not going to let herself get some girly name. “My parents were weird.”
“I’m Pinkie Pie!” the pink pony replied. “I need to go now to get the party ready but when it’s ready I’ll come and find you and take you there! Oh this is going to be so much wait you said your name was Pick Pocket?” She leaned in, practically squishing the pegasus filly with her critical expression. “Do I have to keep an extra close eye on you little filly?”
“NoI’llbegoodpleasedon’teatmysoul!”
Bellatrix coughed. “Um... with all due respect, I think I can keep my semi-half-adopted sister in line.”
Instantly the pink pony was all smiles. “Okidokiloki! I’ll just head off to make you some cupcakes!” She bounded off at near sonic speed.
“...okay, new priority. Attend welcome party.” Bellatrix glanced at Ru. “You okay?”
“That thing is not natural. That thing is... you were right, this is a horrible world.”