//------------------------------//
// Flim And Flam 
// Story: Ponyville confessions 
// by Lunaexcelsior 
//------------------------------//

So I’m sitting there, tending bar, when all of a sudden I hear loud yelling coming from outside my restaurant.

I trot out to see what all the commotion was about. 

“Sweet Luna they better not…” I thought to myself. 

Unfortunately, my suspicions were more than confirmed when I saw those two candy cane colored bloaks yelling out there. The FlimFlam bug was back.

Now, these two bloaks have been a very big burden on my back for the longest time. They tried to sell me cider, which, as I discovered later on, was non alcoholic, some weird potion thingy. It’s no secret that these two were always up to no good. 

Though I have to give Flam some credit, he does have one heck of a moustache. It almost rivals my own.

As soon as I stepped out I heard the blasted sing songy voice of Twidllescam and Twidlletheft over there.

“Come right come all and experience the best drink in all of Equestria,” Flim yelled.

“This is going to make women more attractive and men all the stronger,” Flam yelled.

I pushed through the crowd of gullible idiots to get to the two scammers. 

“What’s all this about then?” I asked as I saw the two smiling pleasantly.

“Well, tell the nice pony, brother,” Flim said with a smug smile.

“Why thank you, oh brother of mine,” Flam responded and held out a bottle of what seemed to be moonshine “This majestic concoction is about ten times more delicious then any beverage you have ever tried in your life. It’s about as strong as Everclear with none of its powerful 
punch. It’ll slide down your throat real good.”

“I highly doubt it,” I responded

“You here that Flim,” Flam spoke to his brother “He’s questioning our superior brewing abilities!”

“I think he is just scared of a little competition,” Flim responded back and poured in a glass of their brew “Here’s one on the house old man. 
You can judge for yourself.”

As I took that glass in my hooves I tasted the liquid. It was savory, tasty, but something was off. It tasted a bit too metallic.

“Well you clearly defeated me,” I said to the two “but do tell me where did you make this exquisite beverage?”

“A good businessman never reveals their secrets,” Flim said contently.

“Yeah, I can tell bathtub moonshine when I taste one,” I said to them smugly “So why don’t you drop the act and let me see your machine. Or do you want me to get the authorities on your flanks.”

The two brothers were flabbergasted. They tried to weasel their way out of this, but the townsfolk had already surrounded them.

“May I see?” I asked again.

Flim was furious, but he opened up his backdoor. It unveiled a bathtub filled to the brim with moonshine. And by the looks of it, it was quite contaminated, which gave off the metallic taste.

“Just as I thought,” I said and turned over their bathtub.

“What are you doing?!” Flam exclaimed “That was going to make us millions!”

“It was going to kill millions as well!” I yelled back at them “What did you use to cover up the taste?”

“Just this,” Flim showed me a bottle of jeroba berry juice. Their taste must have been what gave off those savory notes

I facehoofed.

“You do realize those berries can cause severe nausea and diarrhea, right?” I asked disappointedly.

The townsfolk rightfully gasped. They were about to turn on them, but all of a sudden Flim turned to Flam.

“It seems we have overstayed our welcome here, brother!” he yelled to Flam.

“Time to pack it and jam it!” Flam replied and teleported the two into the Everfree forest.  

Last I heard they were trying to scam ponies of Las Pegasus in some street tricks. They have been much better at that. 

Just goes to show you that you can’t g head to head with the gin master himself and his impeccable moustache.

You see a lot of weird things as a bartender. You see a lot of weird things at the Hay Palace. So, I see a lot of weird things as a bartender at the Hay Palace. And that’s no lie. Swear on me mum.