Chapter 7
Parties, Ponies, and Punch
Twilight was pleasantly surprised at how the meeting went. Sure Fluttershy had fainted but that had been expected, and even though she felt bad for her faint-hearted friend she was glad that Mobius was out of the picture. What she wasn’t looking forward to was seeing how Scattershot would act at Pinkie’s party. The stallion seemed to have boundless energy and without Mobius to restrain him she was concerned that he would go completely insane.
She needn’t have worried. While it was true that Scattershot was practically trembling with excitement he was forcing himself to act civilly. He was obviously going to be here awhile, no need to make the ponies unhappy with him right off the bat. Fortunately, they were headed to one of Pinkie’s famous parties, a place where venting huge levels of insane energy was considered normal.
Meanwhile Mobius was making his way through the Everfree Forest. Fluttershy had awoken (and forestalled her panic at being carried by the crazy stranger) long enough to timidly thank Mobius for helping her before unlocking her cottage and make her shaky way inside. Satisfied that his work was done, Mobius set out for the only place where everything wasn’t controlled by ponies. Once entering the dark wood he felt a huge sense of relief. “Finally!” He exclaimed to himself. “A break from all the crazy, where everything works the way it is supposed to!” At that moment he glanced down and saw that his hoof was hovering above a patch of disturbingly familiar blue flowers. “Where almost everything works the way it is supposed to!” He corrected himself as he changed course. Despite the poisonous flora, Mobius was happier in the Everfree Forest than he had been all day.
Back in town, Scattershot was being interrogated by the three ponies that survived the meet up and was doing his best to dance around answering questions that would only raise more about who he was. “May I ask what your Cutie Mark means?” Rarity asked. “The pattern is surprisingly elegant.”
“What, are you saying I’m not elegant?” Scattershot quipped, using the joke to buy time as he formulated an answer. The obvious correlation is ‘sniper’, he thought but how do I get that idea across without bringing up long-distance killing machines to the marshmallow horse? “It’s a crosshair. It means I have a keen eye and precision accuracy.”
“Seems a little off fer a feller named ‘Scattershot’.” Applejack remarked raising an eyebrow.
Oh c’mon, Honesty, give me one half truth! “What can I say? The folks had a sense of humor.” That obviously didn’t assuage the cowpony’s concerns, as her mistrustful look lingered. “Hey, what do yah want from me? Should I shoot an apple off somepony’s head? Or maybe we should just wait till Nightmare Night and I’ll kick everypony’s flank at the spider tossing game!”
Fortunately for him the mention of a holiday immediately caught Pinkie’s attention, who had otherwise spent the trip bouncing merrily and humming something sounding vaguely Russian. “I LOVE Nightmare Night! Last year we got a visit from Princess Luna and we all acted like she was still Nightmare Moon and ran screaming and it was so much FUN!” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. “Well, fun for everypony except Luna, she thought we were all actually scared! But then I told her we were just doing it for fun and then she joined in and-!”
“The fun was doubled?” Scattershot provided.
“Yeah!”
Pinkie’s exposition had distracted the others long enough for the group to reach Sugarcube Corner, deflecting any further questions. The entire bakery was dark, not a sound coming from inside. This immediately set Scattershot on edge, nothing Pinkie did started out this quiet. He pushed open the door with his front hoof and peered into the darkness. Despite the fact that he had been expecting something like it, when the lights blazed to life and a chorus of voices boomed “WELCOME!” Scattershot still stumbled back in shock. “I should have seen that coming…” he said in a small voice.
The surprise had been so loud it carried all the way to the forest and to Mobius. He looked up in the direction of the noise and surmised what must have happened. “Glad I came out here, though Sam probably had a heart attack.” Grinning at the idea, he turned to see a pair of red eyes glaring out of a bush at him. “I hate everything…” He growled before flapping above the underbrush and continuing on in the air. He looked back toward the bush with eyes and chuckled, languishing in his superiority. He looked back where he was going just in time to duck a branch. “EVERYTHING!”
Scattershot was amazed that the walls of Sugarcube Corner weren’t collapsing under the force of the party. Pounding music, and the hooves dancing to it, created a rumble that could be mistaken for an earthquake. “I’m baffled at how Pinkie isn’t permanently assaulted with noise complaints!” He yelled over the din.
“Trust me, ponies have tried.” Twilight yelled back. “But somehow they always fall through.”
“The law enforcement must be deaf.”
“So do you know everypony here as well?”
He shook his head. “My in-depth knowledge is limited to you six and a few select others. I know some of the faces but that’s about it.” He gave a wry smile. “And most of what I DO know about the other residents of the town is conjecture; I don’t want to insult somepony by accident!” He noted Twilight’s surprised expression. “What? Did you think I was omniscient?”
“From what I’ve heard you’ve been acting like it.” Rarity said, somehow managing to still sound dainty and be heard all at once.
“Despite my vast and incredible insight, there are still mysteries that elude me. Like her.” He said, pointing at Pinkie as she swallowed and entire cake in one bite.
“Pinkie is a mystery that nopony can explain.” Dash said, shaking her head.
“I’ll check the Necronomicon later, she must have whole chapters dedicated to her.”
Nopony bothered to ask what a Necro-whatsit was. The group dispersed into the party to go mingle with the others. Twilight made sure to keep an eye on Scattershot, but the green pegasus seemed to be behaving just fine, at least none of the other party guests seemed bothered by him. Despite how well everything was going, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something horrible was about to happen. She looked carefully about the room, scanning each surface for any potential disasters. Just as she was about to dismiss her fears as posttraumatic stress after the day she had, she spotted them. Her anxieties had been correct, something terrible was about to happen.
Three small fillies, one of each of the three kinds of ponies, where making their way towards Scattershot. Twilight felt as if her stomach was falling down a pit, Spike would have been bad enough but the Cutie Marks Crusaders could NOT be allowed near this strange stallion! Her mind racing, Twilight formulated a plan. She couldn’t stop the three on her own, but she did know three ponies who could! She looked about rapidly and was dismayed when she saw that Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Rarity where all at separate ends of the party! She had exhausted most of her energy for teleporting earlier and she couldn’t shout over the crowd for risk of alerting the CMCs that she was coming to stop them. Weaving and bobbing through the crowd Twilight could only hope that she got the others in time.
Mobius gazed down at the canopy below him. He had found a tree that towered over the others and decided to rest there. “Hopefully nothing can kill me up here.” He looked around, having become painfully aware of the forest’s sense of irony. “Still, better than that thing’s party.” He growled, glaring at the beacon of light and sound that the bakery had become. His attention was pulled back to the forest by the sound of rustling foliage. Off in the distance a large mutated form flapped above the tree line and roared before diving back down. “Maybe I should just find a cloud…”
Twilight was running out of time and she knew it. The three fillies could move much faster through the crowd thanks to their small sizes and she could never reach Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack before disaster struck. That is, unless she took some more extreme measures. She forced herself near Rainbow Dash and blurted out “We have a problem.”
Dash’s first instinct was to check Scattershot, who was currently engaged in conversation with a gray-coated pegasus mare and seemed unreasonably happy about it. “What sort of problem?”
“The Cutie Mark Crusaders, they are going to meet Scattershot!”
In what was quickly becoming a common occurrence, Dash’s eyes widened to the point of nearly popping out. “Oh nononono that’s not good.” Panicked visions of what chaos those three could cause taking the strange new pony on one of their “crusades” played through Dash’s mind.
“I’m going to try and delay them, you get Rarity and Applejack. Only you three can stop them.” Dash wasted no time. Twilight had hardly finished speaking before a rainbow colored blur began to cut through the crowd towards Rarity.
Scattershot, oblivious to the consternation surrounding him, was happily continuing his conversation with a particular wall-eyed pegasus. “You have both confirmed and debunked so much at once.” He said, his expression so happy it was practically glowing.
“I’m…sorry?” She said, not sure if her apology was needed. Scattershot had introduced himself with vigor and had been talking almost nonstop for several minutes, pausing only when he asked a question and was awaiting an answer. His tendency to talk extremely quickly wasn’t helping the confusion much either.
“Oh no need to apologize! I realize I’m being a bit baffling but believe me when I say that the information you have given me will make thousands of people very happy.” His grin, which was already beginning to defy reason, only grew more.
It was at that moment that Twilight Sparkle stumbled from the crowd. Her mane was starting to fizz and her eyes looked slightly manic, signs that Scattershot recognized and was not happy to see. “Scattershot! Just the pony I was looking for!” She said, grabbing his wing with her magic and yanking him along.
“Ack! I’m being ponynapped!” He waved a hasty goodbye to his conversational partner as he did his best to keep up with his captor. “Is something wrong Twilight?” He asked hesitantly.
She turned to him, her left eye twitching. “Oh nothing, just…” Her expression visibly blanked as she came up with an excuse. “Somepony else wants to meet you! You are the life of the party after all!”
While Scattershot cowered in fear of Psycho-Twi, Rainbow Dash had rallied AJ and Rarity. The three began to hunt down the Crusader’s each determined to keep the fillies as far away from Scattershot and his antics as possible. The CMCs themselves, unaware of their status as prey, continued to chase after the new pony; their hyperactive natures telling them to extract every bit of information out of the stranger that they could in hopes that it would help them get their Cutie Marks. “Whadayall think a question-askin’ Cutie Mark would look like?” Applebloom asked her friends.
“What do you mean?” Scootaloo asked, peering around one of the guests and spotting Scattershot. “This way!”
The three took off as fast as their tiny legs could carry them. “I mean what if we’re SO GOOD as askin’ questions and getting’ answers that we get our Cutie Marks?!”
“We already tried that, remember?” Sweetie Belle said. “When we were reporters?”
“Dang it!” Applebloom exclaimed, stomping her hoof. “Well maybe whatever we can get that feller to say can help.”
“Isn’t he supposed to be from another country? Maybe ponies from outside Equestria get their Cutie Marks in different ways.”
Applebloom’s eyes lit up as an idea came to her. “Yeah! And when we learn how they get their Cutie Marks, we can try what they do to get ours!”
“Great idea!” Scootaloo said, before groaning as she lost sight of her quarry. Not for the first time she lamented not being able to fly yet, it would have made finding their target much easier. “Now all we gotta do is find him…”
But Scattershot was nowhere to be found, due to the continued intervention of Twilight. While she had stopped dragging him, her twitchy behavior and constant looking around made him continue to follow more out of fear than anything else. Now I understand Jake’s fear of Pinkie.
Twilight was beginning to lose her mind. She couldn’t see the CMCs constantly, but when she did her heart leapt into her throat and she rapidly changed direction. Her desperate antics, while certainly keeping the Crusader’s off their trail, was also making it difficult for Dash, AJ, and Rarity to find the fillies and stop them. As the older ponies grew more frantic and the CMCs more determined the three groups increased their speed. As the chase intensified they were no longer able to cut through the crowd without knocking several ponies around. Not only was this rude, but the ensuing chaos left a clear trail for the Crusaders to follow.
“Why does he keep moving?” Sweetie Belle groaned, her exasperation growing with every turn Scootaloo made.
“Why do we keep moving?” Scattershot asked Twilight after apologizing to yet another jostled guest.
“Where in the hay are they?!” Applejack barked, having long since given up any attempts at accommodating the other guests and began bulldozing her way through the crowd.
”Twilight! What in the name of the gods are we- SHIT!” Scattershot’s attempt at getting an answer from Twilight was cut short as he tripped over something small.
Several moments earlier, Scootaloo had led the Crusaders into a position where they could intercept Scattershot. Sure of her victory the small pegasus had charged forward, determined to stop the stallion. However she had aimed poorly and instead of appearing in Scattershot’s line of sight she ended up UNDER his hooves, tripping him.
Scattershot fell forward, bowling right into Twilight. The manic mare overbalanced and pitched forward, right into a concession stand. The impact knocked a punch bowl off of its perch and for the second time that day Twilight Sparkle was soaked to the bone.
The resulting tumult caused the party to come to a screeching halt as everypony stared at the mess. The once raucous room became deathly quiet as Scattershot groaned and lifted himself off the floor. “What the hell just happened…?”
Scootaloo was lucky that the stallion hadn’t squished her in his fall. She made it out with a minor soreness in her side from where Scattershot’s front hoof had struck her. Twilight wasn’t as lucky. Her horn had punched through the bowl without shattering it, causing the dish to become affixed to her head like an over-sized helmet. The fact that she was dripping with punch only compounded how silly she looked.
“Well we found them.” Rainbow Dash sighed, flapping over to Scootaloo. “You okay, Squirt?”
“I think so…” She said, too disoriented by what happened to fawn over Dash.
“C’mon, let’s get you home.” Dash used a wing to help the filly up and guide her to the door.
“You too missy.” Applejack said, towering over her sister. “You are in a whole messa trouble sneakin’ out in the middle of th’ night.”
“I agree with Applejack.” Rarity added. “You three have caused quite enough of a stir for one night.”
As the three elder ponies lead their younger counterparts out, Scattershot pulled the bowl off of Twilight’s head. “I agree with Rainbow Dash, home seems like a brilliant idea.” He paused for a moment, pondering the bowl held impossibly in his hooves. “Do I even have a ‘home’ here yet? Celestia said she would take care of that.”
Twilight picked herself up, looking around at the other guests. She was mortified about what happened, but fortunately for her Pinkie had taken the hint that the party was over and was cheerfully showing everypony the door. She took several deep breaths before turning to Scattershot. “Don’t tell Mobius about this…”
“Your secret is safe with me. Though I would like to cover my bases and say that while my lips are sealed I cannot speak for others.”
“Fair enough.” She used what little magic she had left to ring some of the punch out of her mane. “You can stay at the library, there’s a guest room you can use. I’ll have Dash help you two make cloud houses tomorrow.”
“You seem remarkably calm.”
“When I woke up this morning, the biggest concern I had was if I could get in all the studying I wanted to before lunch.” Her eyes where unfocused as she recounted the tale, her body and mind too exhausted to do much else. “I was just finishing up a book and going for another when Rainbow Dash knocked on my door.” She sat back down heavily. “Since then my day has been a hurricane of unforeseeable events. I was summoned to Canterlot, saw my mentor get mercilessly tormented, set myself on fire out of anger, got soaked with water, subjected the most frail pony I know to the chaos that found me, went to a Pinkie Pie Party, nearly went insane with worry and now I’m soaked in punch. All because you and your friend showed up at my door.” Her tone wasn’t accusatory or angry, just tired. “I’ve had enough for one day, I want to go home…” She slumped down, too worn out to even move.
“Home it is.” Scattershot, in what was quickly becoming a theme, lifted the immobile pony onto his back. After given an enthusiastic good-bye to Pinkie he set out for the library.