As each torch came to life, more and more of their life-giver revealed itself, its shadow dancing along with the flames as it made its way down the dusty stone corridor. It soon emerged into a sizeable chamber lined with many torches along the curved walls and began to light them in sequence, the first torch lighting the second, and so on until the room became aglow with firelight. Its task complete, the figure moved to the center of the room, kneeling before a small altar and lowering its hood.
Said act revealed the visage of a solidly-built man, perhaps in his fifties, possessing a strong, chiseled face, shoulder-length greying hair that barely touched the tip of his shoulders and the deep-red cape that cascaded down his body, concealing a highly-polished suit of armor. Ancient works of art and intricate, majestic runes adorned each metal segment and each exquisitely-etched line seemed to glow in the ethereal light of the torches, bringing the images depicted on the armor to life.
The man murmured quietly as he brought a finger to his chest, moving it from the top of the red t-shaped symbol emblazoned on the chest plate down to the bottom before bringing it up halfway and moving it to the left, then finally to the right. Hands clasped firmly together, the man then bowed his head and continued his near-silent liturgy. After several moments, he returned to his feet and unslung the longsword at his hip, the blade shining in the torchlight as its own runes danced on the polished blade. His head still bowed, he laid the sword on the stone altar before returning to his knees, fists clenched tightly at his side.
“My sword and my soul for the deliverance of the human race. My sword and my soul for the deliverance of the human race.” The man repeated this over and over like a mantra, eyes closed and hands clasped at his chest once more. “My sword and my soul for the…” He paused as a communicator beeped from somewhere under his cape and armor. Retrieving it from a hidden pocket, he held it up.
“I’m sorry to interrupt you sir, but you’re needed on the bridge. It’s time.” There was a pause as the man’s eyes widened, revealing a fiery spirit within them that matched the flame of the torches.
“Are you certain?”
“Yes sir. We’ve completed our scan of the space-time continuum and have determined the precise time and place at which to act.”
“Excellent. Soon, every human soul in the galaxy shall know true Sanctity and the majesty of the Great Divine.” The man spoke deeply as if his voice was as ancient as the runes inscribed on his gear. “Take us to Sector 001, maximum transwarp. The time of Deliverance is upon us!”
***
Acting Captain’s personal log, Stardate…blargh. It’s been two weeks since the death of Trixie’s parents and the whole ship feels like it’s stuck in a cloud of misery. I remember very vividly when the destruction of Romulus took my parents away from me but…this is completely different. I mean, it’s terrible to say but…at least mine went quickly and painlessly. Trixie’s…weren’t so lucky. To be assimilated right before your own daughter and to be that daughter watching it happen…I can think of few things more terrible to experience.
It’s also been two weeks since I last laid eyes on her. She’s been holed up in her quarters and nothing I’ve done has helped in the slightest. I feel so helpless right now it’s almost surreal; even worse, I don’t know if she’s angry with me for what I almost did…or what I tried to do. I mean, yeah, she stopped me and did it herself but still…why? Did she not want me to live with the guilt even though there was no other way to stop them from suffering even more? Or was it a simple mistake, a slip of her hoof at the wrong time? While her actions seemed pretty deliberate, I’ve spent a fortnight wondering about that. Either way…I’m not looking forward to the inevitable talk we we’re gonna have to sort this out.
I know I can’t rush her. These things can’t be rushed. Even though you wish you could rush them. Two weeks isn’t a long time, especially when you’re touring interstellar space, but when you’re alone and overthinking everything, it might as well be months. Or years.
Poor Trix…
No one deserves to go through what she did.
In the meantime, I’ve tried to stay as busy as possible. Per my new job as a Starfleet courier, Sisko’s been sending me around the local systems on pick-up and delivery assignments. It’s not the most glamorous job but it’s better than wandering aimlessly from station to station, wondering how I was gonna eat that day or stop my ship from imploding. Forcing myself to interact with others and be productive has helped but it goes without saying that I’d be a Hell of a lot happier if my companion was in better spirits.
Sisko agreed, of course. I actually had a lengthy discussion with him about what happened (along with submitting a full report per Starfleet regulations), which is part of the reason I decided to get back to action so quickly after such a traumatic event. He believes that if Trixie sees me doing something good and constructive, it’ll prompt her to do the same and she’ll feel better faster.
I hope he’s right… (End recording)
***
“I see,” Sisko mused, stroking his chin. I sat across from him, absentmindedly tossing his prized baseball from hand to hand. “She still hasn’t come out of her quarters?”
“Yes sir,” I replied with a pronounced frown. “Frankly, I’m out of ideas! I’ve tried everything from coaxing her out with Crispy Chex to offering to take her to Equestria for a few weeks if Starfleet would allow it. I’ve tried keeping busy, hoping she’d notice and want to find something to do other than wallow.”
“And nothing’s worked?” Sisko confirmed.
“Not a thing. I feel so…helpless and useless that it’s driving me crazy.” I sighed and reclined in the chair. “Any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated, sir.” I waited as Sisko pondered, stroking his chin.
“It sounds to me like you could use some time off.” he stated, folding his hands on his desk.
“Really sir?” I asked in surprise. “I mean…I appreciate the thought but…I just started my job with Starfleet. Isn’t it a little too soon to be taking a vacation?”
“Mr. Stevens, I’ve been a Starfleet officer for a long time,” Sisko replied. “I’ve seen many terrible things during my career. I learned very quickly that traumatic events can have terrible consequences if they are not dealt with timely or treated correctly. What Trixie has gone through is something that very few both witness and escape. Because of that, she is forced to carry those horrible memories around with her for the rest of her life. If she doesn’t make peace with what happened, it could permanently scar her and warp her into someone completely unrecognizable. In that capacity, taking time off is hardly a ‘vacation’.”
I listened on the edge of my seat, barely able to prevent myself from trembling. The Dominion War had brought a lot of battle-hardened officers to the brink, many of which had served under Sisko. Yeah, the guy knew what he was talking about.
“That’s why I’m recommending that you both take some time to recuperate and come to terms with what you went through,” Sisko continued. “I realize that it is Trixie who has to bear the brunt of it but she wasn’t the only one there. After all, if I’m not mistaken, it was you who braved the journey to the Badlands and risked his ship so your friend could get the closure she wanted so much. You did what few would dare to do and faced the consequences. I believe that entitles you to some respite as well.”
While I didn’t like the idea of taking more time off right after starting a new job, he did have a point. As much as I tried to hide it, the fact of the matter was that I was feeling it too. Maybe not as bad…okay, definitely not as bad as Trixie but the very thought of what happened still made my stomach turn and gave me nightmares. Keeping busy was helping but it clearly wasn’t the solution for both of us, which is what I had to focus on.
Trixie’s well-being, our well-being. That’s what I needed to focus on. If Sisko’s idea was the way to go, then who was I to argue?
“I…guess that would be okay…” I replied, still somewhat hesitant. “The only thing is…how do I get her to come out of her quarters? Every time I try to talk to her…” I took a second to wipe my eyes before continuing. “She…she ignores me. I…I tried forcing the door open once using my command codes but she put up a force field around the door and screamed at me to leave her alone. I don’t know what else to do!”
And there it was again, the feeling of utter helplessness. Worse yet, here I was dumping it all on Captain Sisko, one of the busiest officers in Starfleet, who probably had way better things to do than be my personal counselor.
“Well, I can’t really answer that,” Sisko replied. “I don’t know her nearly as well as you do but if I were to guess…I’d say that the best thing you can do for her is to let her come to you when she thinks she’s ready.”
“But…what if she…what if she hurts herself?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “I…I couldn’t live with myself if she did that and I wasn’t there to stop her.”
“I hate to say it but that’s not within your control,” Sisko pointed out.
“B…but I care about her so much!” I cried. “I can’t just do nothing!”
“That’s not what I meant,” Sisko quickly interjected. “When you truly love someone, it’s difficult to see how little control you actually have over the situation. You can’t control the actions of the ones you love and trying usually makes the situation worse. I believe in your case, you have to let Trixie come back to you on her terms. She seems like the type of mare who prefers to make decisions of her own volition.”
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t argue that. Trixie was a mare who was almost impossible to convince and even more so to coerce; that would only make her dig her heels in and fight back. Maybe the best option was to just…let her be. Don’t get me wrong; I hated the idea. I feared for her well-being, stuck in that room the way she was. It made me ill just thinking of what she could be doing to herself with naught but her misery for company.
“How long have you two been travelling?” Sisko asked, mercifully shaking me from my thoughts.
“Um…about five months?” I replied.
“I see. And of that five months, how much of that have you two spent off of your ship?”
“Not a lot, sir,” I answered truthfully. “Since I was doing odd jobs up to now and Trixie was always looking for places to perform, we spent most of our time in transit between stations.”
“Well Mr. Stevens, it seems to me that a few weeks on solid ground might be just what you both need.” Sisko suggested. “Think of it this way,” Sisko continued as I opened my mouth. “Trixie’s not accustomed to long periods of space travel, correct?” I nodded. “She’s used to living on solid ground and breathing a natural atmosphere. I believe that some time on a real planet would be very therapeutic for her.”
“I…you’re probably right, sir,” I agreed. “But…where should we go?”
“Hmm…” Sisko hummed as he thought it over. “Since you’ve seen her world, isn’t it time she saw yours?”
“You mean…take her to Earth?” I asked in confirmation.
“Exactly. I’m sure that learning about a different culture will help lift her spirits, especially if it’s yours.” I wasn’t sure but I thought I caught a knowing hint from the captain. Was he somehow aware of our…partnership? I shook my head; that wasn’t important at the moment. What was important was listening to every word the captain had to say because let’s face it; I needed all the help I could get.
Wait, scratch that; we needed all the help we could get.
“I…I think you’re right, sir,” I agreed with a sigh. It wasn’t my first choice but it wasn’t exactly a bad one. If I had Sisko’s blessing to take some more time off (an idea I didn’t care for, make no mistake) and if was the right thing to do for Trixie…then that’s what I would do. Right now, her happiness and health were my top priorities.
“How long has it been since you last visited Earth?” Sisko asked, surprising me again. I hadn’t been expecting the question even though I occasionally wondered the same thing. I hadn’t given it much thought recently but maybe it was time to.
“I’m not really sure, sir,” I answered truthfully. “I think…maybe…12 years?”
“Well then,” Sisko replied, catching the ball as I tossed it over to him. “Is there anything you need for the trip?”
“No sir,” I assured him. “The Ranger wasn’t damaged during…well, that.” I finished quietly.
“And what about you two?” Sisko added.
“I took the liberty of resupplying the ship with everything we might need, sir. We’ll be good for a while.”
“Glad to hear it. Good luck with your trip, Mr. Stevens,” Sisko said, standing up to shake my hand. “Take good care of yourself and Miss Trixie.” I nodded.
“I will, sir. I promise.”
***
Acting captain’s personal log, supplemental. We’ve been on our way to Earth for the better part of a day. I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve been by Trixie’s room. Still nothing. I’m this close to grabbing a phaser and cutting my way into her room, anything to bring her back to me!
But that would be the wrong way to handle the situation, wouldn’t it. As much as I hate to, I have to just be cool and let her approach me on her terms.
…
Y’know what? Fuck this. (End recording)
I practically flew out of my quarters and over to Trixie’s. I couldn’t stand it anymore. Standing by and doing nothing wasn’t working. I didn’t care what Sisko said, he didn’t know Trix like I did. Forget her terms, she was far too proud to ask for help, even if it meant getting through something so terrible! I looked back at everything we’d been through; she was always the one to come to someone else’s rescue.
Now it was time for someone else to come to hers.
I raced to her door only for it to open at my arrival. Taken aback, I paused before slowly entering the room.
Expecting a stench, I was pleasantly surprised to find none whatsoever. In fact, the room was quite clean, making me wonder momentarily if she’d actually been in there for a fortnight. Maybe the computer had been wrong the 4,000 times I’d asked it where Trixie was.
“Computer, where is Trixie?” I asked after finding no trace of her.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie is in the holodeck.”
Wait what? Why the heck would she be in the holodeck? Maybe she got sick of staying in her quarters and wanted something to do. Yeah, that had to be it!
Filled with a renewed sense of hope for my friend, I booked it to the holodeck, pausing only long enough for the turbolift to take me to Deck 4. Continuing my sprint, I arrived at the holodeck in short order, only to find it locked.
“Damnit, not again!” I exclaimed, pounding the door with a fist. Hoping she hadn’t somehow screwed with the door again, I demanded to be let in. “Computer, unlock this door.”
“Cannot comply.”
“Why the fuck not?”
“Command override codes have been overwritten.” Just. Great.
“By who?” I blurted out, knowing full-well who the culprit was.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie.”
That was it. No more horsing around. I ran back to my quarters and retrieved my phaser. I then returned, set it to self-destruct, and placed it by the door.
The resulting explosion, although small, was enough to set off one or two of the ship’s alarms, any of which I swiftly deactivated. Having finally gained access to my friend, I boldly entered the holodeck.
Only to find the interior of a Borg Cube.
I shook my head in utter disbelief. This had to be a mistake. A computer error. A dream. Anything made more sense than the grey bulkheads, glowing green panels, and mysterious tubules that surrounded me. After everything we’d just been through…this? Try as I might, I flat-out could not wrap my head around what I was seeing.
Nevertheless, I forced myself to calm down and take a deep breath. As much as I didn’t want it to be, this was the situation and now I had to deal with it, find Trixie, and pull her back from the edge of the deep, dark abyss she was teetering on.
With all that in mind, I slowly made my way through the simulated Cube. Even though I knew it was nothing but photons and force fields, the sheer realism that the holodeck was able to present gave me chills. It probably didn’t help that we’d been on one not long ago but still!
Damn, holodeck, why do you have to be so good at that?
The question continued to gnaw at me as I followed the lone path through the Cube. Why? Why pick literally the worst place you could possibly pick to be your new hangout? It didn’t make any sense! Then again, very little of the past few weeks had made any sense so maybe this was par for the course after all.
The sounds of a struggle caused me to pause momentarily but only momentarily. I took off down the winding corridors of the ersatz Cube, focused purely on getting to Trixie. As I ran, flashes of our experience inside the real Cube bombarded my senses; the sounds, the humidity, the eerie glow of forsaken machinery. The feeling of utter hopelessness…
I shook my head as I ran; now was not the time to lose my head, not on my own damn ship, and certainly not when I was so close to her. The sounds grew louder as I neared what I assumed to be the center, sounds that grew more and more familiar as I drew closer until finally,
I emerged into a large chamber.
And immediately tripped over a Borg corpse.
The sight of it slowed my return to my feet rather considerably. It wasn’t just dead, it was mangled. Most of its body was covered by large scorch marks, marks I instantly recognized. Its limbs were twisted, almost into knots, as if it had been picked up and thrown repeatedly against a variety of solid objects. I felt my stomach turn as I slowly rose, only for my eyes to widen in horror at what I was seeing.
Piles of mangled and mutilated Borg covered the floor, so many that I couldn’t even begin to count them all. And at the very center of the carnage stood someone who at one point, resembled my dearest friend. Eyes ablaze with white and blue magical energy, she wielded her power with murderous intent, blasting Borg drones across the length of the room before picking them up, sometimes several at a time, and smashing them cruelly against the walls, the floor, the ceiling, and even each other.
I knew what she was doing. I knew why she was doing it. I even understood it. But it still had to stop.
“Computer, freeze program!” I shouted.
“Cannot comply. Unknown system error.”
Damnit, not again! That left me with basically one option.
“Trixie!” I called as loudly as I could, trying to get her attention over the Hellish din. “Trixie! You have to stop this! Please! This isn’t the way to beat this! Trix, you’ve gotta listen to me! Please listen to me!” If she heard me, she didn’t show it. I ducked as another drone flew overhead, impacting the wall behind me with a sickening crunch. Undeterred, I continued my slow march towards her, knowing how easily I could get caught in the storm.
But also not caring. Like before, if this was what it took to bring my friend back, then so be it.
By some miracle or sheer dumb luck, I managed to get close to her without getting caught in the maelstrom of angry magic, flying bodies, and sizzling blasts. Now what was I to do? It would take the friendship speech of all friendship speeches to bring her back but it had worked before so maybe, just maybe, I could pull it off a second time.
It was when she suddenly turned towards me and encased me in her levitation spell that I realized how poorly thought-out my plan was.
“Trix…urgh…it’s…me…” I gasped as I struggled against the constriction energy field. She simply stood and stared at me, wide-eyed and furious. “Your…friend! Remember…this…this isn’t you, Trix!” I could feel the field’s intensity around me, eliciting several grunts of pain as I struggled to endure. “Aah!” I cried as it momentarily tightened, reducing my gasping to short, ragged breaths.
“Why didn’t they help them?” she demanded as the storm grew around her.
“W…what?” I gasped.
“WHY DIDN’T THEY HELP THEM!?” I felt the room reverberate under the power of Trixie’s fury.
“Why…didn’t who…help them?” To me, the question was coming out of nowhere; we had done all we could to save them but it had been too late. So why would she…
“Your Federation!” she spat. “They sat and watched as my home was attacked and my parents were taken!”
Oh.
“Trix…” I struggled to reply. “The…Federation…did their best! I…read the report! Every ship…docked…was sent to…to fight them off!”
“LIES!” she screamed, tightening her hold on me further, causing me to cry out as well.
“You’ve…gotta…believe me!” I soldiered on, refusing to give up on her, on us. “The Borg ship…went…to Transwarp…before we…could disable it! We…couldn’t catch it! Even if…we tried!” I felt a powerful tug as she then lowered me so we were face-to-face.
“And why should Trixie believe you?” she demanded in a quiet, deadly tone.
“Because…I love you, Trix.” I replied as warmly as I could, given the pain wracking my body. I offered her a small, teary smile, hoping with all my might it would shake her from her misery, at least long enough to reconnect.
Her eyes returned to normal and I felt the field around me dissipate.
“I love you too, Cole.” she choked out as tears filled her eyes and spilled down her cheeks. I hugged her tightly against me. She hugged back even tighter.
Around us, the scene melted away. I wondered for a moment if the ‘unknown error’ had been Trixie’s interference.
But it didn’t matter anymore. I finally had my companion back.
***
Trixie’s personal log, supplemental.
I doesn’t even know how to begin to apologize for what I put us through.
I made the one I love panic with worry. Twice.
I almost got us killed. Or worse.
I showed him a side of me I never wanted anyone to see ever again.
I…I hurt him.
I actually hurt him.
With my magic.
I can’t even look at myself any more.
What would Mom and Dad have said?
Even though he’s told me over and over that he forgives me and that he still and always will love me, I can’t get what I did out of my head. Why can’t he just be angry at me? Why won’t he just treat me like I deserve to be treated for what I’ve done?
Because he loves me. He told me that with love often comes forgiveness. As hard as it might be to forgive, if you truly love them, you’ll find it in your heart to forgive. That’s what he tells me almost every day. Any time he thinks I need it, he reminds me.
I don’t deserve him. Not right now.
But I can work up to that.
Trixie will be the best marefriend ever. She will make sure of that. (End recording)
“Hey Trix, feeling any better?” I asked upon entering our room. Soon after the debacle on the holodeck, the showmare had grabbed everything she owned and brought it over to my quarters. It wasn’t exactly a big deal considering we shared the room full-time at this point anyway but the symbolism did not escape me. Now it was official; we had officially moved in together. I, for one, was really relieved; we needed each other more than anything right now and this would allow us to be close even more. Just what the EMH ordered.
The burning question, and one I couldn’t shake completely, was whether or not Trixie scared me.
I know it sounds terrible but…well, you should’ve seen her. Genocidal rampages don’t exactly bring out one’s best qualities. I know it was only the holodeck but…it sure looked like she wanted it to be real.
I shook my head. No. No more thoughts like that. Trixie may have been a braggart and a showoff but a murderer she was not. She had every right to be furious; I (along with millions of others) had been the same way not so long ago when Romulus disintegrated. That was why I couldn’t hold it against her…besides the fact that I loved her beyond measure.
“Oh, hey,” she replied from the bed, placing a levitated PADD beside her. She leaned up to kiss me as I sat down on the edge of the bed. I took a moment to savor her soft lips and warm breath as we essentially tasted each other, basking in each other’s presence for the first time in weeks. I’m actually kinda surprised we didn’t just…jump on each other. Having said that, after what we’d just been through, taking it easy as far as intimate gestures were concerned was probably a wise idea. Until we were both 100 percent comfortable again. No need to add any more pressures to our lives, not now anyway. “How was your meeting with Captain Sisko?”
“Pretty good I guess,” I replied.
“You don’t very convinced.” Trixie pointed out. I let out a sigh of resignation.
“Nothing gets by you, Trix.”
“Well what did he say?”
“As hard as it is to believe…he actually ordered us to take some time off.”
“Really?” Trixie asked with a quizzical expression. “But…didn’t we just take a lot of time off? And didn’t you basically just start your job?”
“I know, I’m as surprised as you are,” I acknowledged with a nod. “But I kid you not; Sisko believes that, based on his previous experience dealing with traumatic events, we need some more downtime before we’re ready to do our jobs effectively…or live our lives, for that matter.” I could see the renewed sense of guilt on Trixie’s face, which prompted me to pick her up and hold her against me. She hugged back, burying her face into the crook of my neck. “Hey now, it’s okay, it’s okay,” I murmured as I felt the crook of my neck dampen. I held her so she was facing me.
“Listen, Trix,” I continued. “We’re gonna take the time off and get our mojos back. Then we’re gonna keep doing what we’re doing: saving the galaxy every other day.” Okay, maybe it was a slight exaggeration but any concerns were allayed when I say the small, genuine smile on my marefriend’s face.
“Where are we going?” Trixie asked. I have to admit that her curiosity was comforting; it beat the Hell out of the other emotions that had bombarded us during the week.
“Well,” I continued, taking a deep, hopeful breath. “We’re heading to Earth.”