The Weed

by kudzuhaiku


In a wet bed

The shelter felt quite cool. Tarnished Teapot, feeling proud of himself, looked down at the sleepy pony he so loved. He had hung a heavy woollen blanket over the open end of the lean-to, securing it in place with some heavy rocks, and then had soaked the blanket down with water. The light breeze blew through the blanket and the water, which evapourated in the heat, cooling the air. The inside of the lean-to was dark, it was rather cool, and Tarnish figured that he and Maud would be comfortable.

Before putting Maud to bed, he had given her a good scrubbing, trying to get the crusted salty sweat out of her pelt so she wouldn’t get itchy. Throughout the entire process, Maud had remained asleep. Maud was a heavy sleeper, a pony that did in fact, sleep like a stone.

Outside, hanging from the edge of the wagon, Maud’s smock was drying. Tarnish had tried to rinse most of the salt from it. Maud understood laundering, Tarnish did not, and he made it a point to ask her what to do.

Having eaten a few sandwiches, Tarnish lay down beside Maud, rested his head close to hers, closed his eyes, thought about Cloudy Quartz telling him that he was obligated to sleep beside Maud for the rest of his days, and then drifted off to sleep.


Yawning, Maud peered through blurry, bleary eyes. She was surprised by how cool she felt. She took a look around the shelter she was in. There was a damp blanket over the open side of the lean-to. There was a gentle breeze blowing in cool, damp air. Lifting her head, she scooted closer to the sleeping unicorn beside her and kissed his cheek. The last thing that Maud remembered clearly was that Tarnish had been rubbing her legs. It had felt so good that she had closed her eyes to enjoy it.

Now a little more awake, Maud realised she felt clean, or at least clean enough. She realised that Tarnish had bathed her and had done a pretty good job. She was going to have to thank him for his attentiveness at some point. Blinking, Maud thought of several ways she could say thank you. Tarnish liked happy husband hugs. Yawning, Maud sat up, almost hitting her head on the lean-to’s low angle roof.

Poking her head outside, Maud saw that it was late afternoon and the sun was starting to settle just behind the trees up on the ridge. Light shade was starting to creep over the camp. Maud slipped out of the shelter, the moistened blanket brushing up against her side and leaving behind a cool dampness.

Maud went to the pump, stood up on her hind legs, and began pumping. The water gushed out with a faint scent of minerals. She dropped down on all fours and placed her head under the cool water. She felt it run down into her ears, down her neck, plastering her mane to to her head and body. She saw her smock hanging on the side of the wagon.

Going over to the wagon, Maud began to do an inspection. The wheels looked good, the brakes all seemed to be fine, and the bed of the wagon all looked okay. The load was well distributed. She tapped the water barrel with her hoof and found it full. Tarnish had been busy before going to sleep. Her smock looked as though most of the crusted salt had been rinsed out of it.

Maud lifted up her dripping head and yawned once more.

“I can fix you something to eat.”

Looking over at the shelter, Maud saw Tarnish peering out at her. She felt her heart skip a beat. Something about Tarnish was appealing when he looked sleepy and out of sorts. Maud tossed her head back, whipping her wet mane away from her face, unaware of what her wet body was doing to Tarnish.

“I don’t know that I want sandwiches, but I don’t want anything hot,” Maud said.

“Well, there are cans of baked beans. We could grab a spoon and eat those cold,” Tarnish replied.

“That sounds really good.” Maud noticed that Tarnish was staring at her. Not his usual adoring stare where he watched her, this was a hungry, almost predatory stare. Maud felt an almost unbearable hot flush begin creeping down her neck. It was too hot to be hot and flustered. Maud raised her eyebrow and eyed her husband. “You’re staring again.”

“Something about those damp curls and the way they stick to your neck…”

“Don’t get too distracted Tarnish, I’m starving… I’m going to have to sort you out later. You did a nice thing, putting me to bed. Thank you.”

“Well, you pulled that wagon up the grade and you were exhausted.”

“I’ll admit, that took a lot out of me. More than I thought it would. I’m sore and stiff all over. We might just stay here tonight. I don’t know.”

Maud watched as Tarnish climbed up into the wagon, opened up the food trunk, and then began to rummage around. There was a loud clunk as Tarnish moved something and Maud, looking upwards, realised that she had a pretty good view from down here. She did a little staring herself, watching as Tarnish’s backside wiggled and moved to and fro. The high temperature caused certain parts of Tarnish to dangle down in order to dissipate body heat.

“Mmm,” Maud hummed to herself.

“We have canned pineapple,” Tarnish said, unaware that Maud was watching him.

“What else is in there?” Maud asked, not wanting the show to end just yet.

“Um…” Tarnish went back to work, digging through the trunk of supplies. “There are cans of chili beans and cans of ravioli. Hey, I like canned ravioli. I didn’t know we had these. They were down at the bottom.”

“I think I’ll take a can of chili and a can of pineapple,” Maud said, still staring upwards and enjoying the show. She felt embarrassed and flustered for looking, but, it was hers to look at.

“One can of chili and one can of pineapple, coming right up,” Tarnish replied.


Digging around in the creek bed, using the light of his horn so he could see, Tarnish held aloft a rock he found. It wasn’t very big, but it sure was pretty. He levitated it up where he could see it. It was still wet and looked shiny in the light. The rock was reddish orange and was filled with odd shapes and different coloured flecks.

“I found something.” Tarnish said to Maud. He watched her turn around then, when she saw the rock he was holding up, he watched her eyes go wide.

“Porphyritic rhyolite… an amazing example too… anything red or orange is uncommon and rare.”

Sitting in the shallow water beneath the stars, Tarnish puffed out his barrel, feeling proud about his find. Maud’s wide eyed expression was a rare show of feeling. Tarnish had found something that had made Maud react. She was studying it as he held it up and her eyes were narrowed once more, almost looking sleepy.

“The things you can find in a riverbed,” Maud said in a low, tired sounding voice.

“Yeah… like wet, pretty mares that like rocks.”

“Hmm.” Maud looked Tarnish in the eye. “See that the porphyritic rhyolite goes into the sample box. It’s worth keeping and studying. I bet the crystalline structure is amazing.”

Reaching out with a wet hoof, Tarnish placed it under Maud’s chin, tilted her head up, and guided her in closer to him. He leaned his head forwards, his lips touching hers, and what he intended to be a loving peck turned into something else when he felt Maud push her muzzle against his. Maud was well soaked; her pelt was wet and cool against his. There was a powerful feeling of suction against his lips.

Maud pulled away with a wet pop. “You know Tarnish, this is a bed.”

Tarnish nodded as he flicked the porphyritic rhyolite into his pith helmet that was sitting over on dry ground with his magic. He grabbed Maud around her middle and pulled her closer. He felt himself being pushed back and he offered no resistance, falling over onto his back into the cool, clean water. Maud, her bottom half soaking wet from sitting in the creek, straddled him, half lying, half sitting upon his stomach.

“Wait, wait…” Breathless, Tarnish took Maud’s face in his hooves and looked up into her eyes. “As much as I want to do this right now… there is something else I’d like to do.”

“Are you about to ask me to do something kinky?” Maud asked.

The light of Tarnish’s horn fizzled and went out, leaving he and Maud in the dark. Tarnish’s chocolate pelt took on a purple tint that could not be seen. He wondered what Maud meant by something kinky. After several moments, Tarnish squeaked out the word, “No.”

Tarnish had thought about all sorts of kinky things he could try with Maud, but those weren’t things that you did with nice mares… unless of course the nice mare also showed an interest in being kinky. Tarnish made a mental note to ask Maud some questions later.

“Well, I’m disappointed. Perhaps we can do something kinky later.” Maud leaned her head down and touched her snoot to Tarnish’s. “What is it that you wanted?”

“I wanted to dance with you… underneath the stars. When Pinkie Pie threw that party for us after we got married… we danced and I asked you to teach me how to dance… you said that you would… we have stars. We have this beautiful night. We have each other… and I really would like to learn to dance with you.” He felt Maud gasp, a burst of warm air brushed over his lips, and he felt a spike of arousal.

“I’d like to dance with you,” Maud replied in a flat voice.