Pinkie Pie Investigations: A Bootleg Fluttershy

by Karibela


Miss P, Piloting Extraordinaire

“Nope! NOPE! That’s not gonna work… no, down a bit more. Up a bit more! Oh no oh no oh no, I’m gonna crash! I’m gonna crash for sure! INCOMING…. oh, no wait, I’m okay.”

Pinkie manouvered the balloon to the ground, barely, and managed to park it up on the grass. “Phew,” she muttered. Having looked around, she saw two ponies approaching her basket: just the two ponies she was looking for.

“Yeah, that was a very strong landing that you succeeded with there, Pinkie Pie!” said Moonchaser.

“Pff, strong?” Pinkie replied, getting out of the basket as she did so. “Listen babe, this here Pinkie Pie you’re talking to? Two words: Ace pilot. There wasn’t a chance I’d have really thought I was in any danger.”

Serendipity looked at her curiously. “Um, excuse me, Pinkie? I am of the most ensurity you were screaming for half that trip. Trust me, we could easily hear you from here.”

Pinkie threw a hoof at her. Not literally, but she did accidentally scrape the poor mare’s hair, fluffing Serendipity’s fringe over her eyes. “Nah, you must’ve been hearing it wrong. Really, that’s the second time today that someone’s had a problem… first Rainbow with her memory, now you! Speaking of which… that’s a weird accent y’got there, girls! I never knew you could do proper Equine like the aristo-whatsits.”

The two looked somewhat shocked, and turned to one another. Pinkie crossed her hooves she hadn’t said anything out of turn, and an awkward pause ensued.

That is, until Cloudchaser broke it. “Well Butterbees, sugarcube, that ain’t a’thing I thought you’d notice! How’s about this’un, then?”

Pinkie broke into glee. “Woah. That’s the best Applejack expression ah ever done heard! How’d you learn that? You’ve gotta tell me... and by the way, what are ‘butterbees’?”

“Well Butterbees, Pinkie,” Serendipity said, “The hell if I know!” Cloudchaser nodded in the background. “We were just copyin’ what Applejack said, she says it all th’ time. Dont’cha know it’s ‘copyin’ the Apple family’ week down at th’weather station?”

“That’s cool,” Pinkie said. “You’ve gotta teach me, girls. I need to know every language in all Equestria, in fact… that’ll be my mission from now on! It’ll be so fun, and so cool, and, and...”

Pinkie stopped in her tracks. A voice, hardened by sorrow, hailed from the clouds. “Pinkie. Stop interrupting weathermares. Do what I told you, leave ‘em in peace, please...”

Oh yeah, she thought, the balloon. Thanks for reminding me, Dash!

For the love of all that is pastel-coloured get on with it, replied Pinkie’s imagination-Rainbow voice.

“Well, I better give you back your hot air balloon, girls.” Pinkie grinned sheepishly. “Thanks for letting me borrow it.”

Cloudchase pursed her lips. “Well Butterbees, Pinks, I don’t think I ever gave y’ permission in the first place. But thank y’ anyway, I suppose.”

At that, Cloudchaser walked herself over to one side of the balloon. Serendipity smiled at Pinkie before going next to the basket as well— however, she took the position opposite to her accomplice on the other side. They both started hauling the massive balloon with impressive strength, and in a matter of minutes, they had it off the ground, and were flying towards the direction Pinkie assumed was where the weather station would be.

Now that’s a couple I like, she thought. Just enough spice to make ‘em interesting. More interesting than sleepy ol’ Dash, anyway. Well, I guess that’s that then… back to home now. I’d hate to think the Cakes might get worried about me.

~~


As Pinkie skipped down the road to Ponyville, she hummed along a ditty from her choir-days. As the conductor always said, “Why not practise when you have the time?”

While she did so, her attention flicked from one thing to another. Birds, fields, angry Rainbow… and then Fluttershy. She saw the yellow mare maybe a mile in front of her, going the same way.

Interested to see her friend, Pinkie increased skipping speed to pretty much as fast as Equinely possible (borderline tripping over her own hooves), and soon made the distance. In next to no time she was right behind Fluttershy, and made sure to make herself noticed when the yellow mare didn’t turn around at first.

“Say Fluttershy, I didn’t know you went down this road! Well, now I do, and ain’t it half a trek, huh. How’re you doing?”

Fluttershy turned her head and stopped. She paused before she talked, and in that small pause, a stem of fear struck through Pinkie Pie. It struck her fast, even faster than her deflating in Rainbow’s cloud-house.

The first thing that hit her were the eyes. Fluttershy’s were normally pretty sweet, pretty innocent… not a carbon-copy of Rarity’s. If that sounds strange, then you wouldn’t believe the rest; it was the hair that really sealed the deal. She was surprised that she hadn’t noticed it sooner from the back, but Fluttershy’s mane was a horrid mixture of her own beautiful style, coloured the same shade of light blue that Rainbow… ugh. She could barely contain her revulsion.

“Hey, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said. “What’s the matter? You look like you’ve seen a ghost… there isn’t a ghost around, is there? Uh, Pinkie?”

Pinkie decided not to comment. Instead, she hid in a bush. Perfect.

Fluttershy paused. “I can still see you, y’know.”
.
.
“Uh, Pinkie? You’re not fooling anypony.”
.
.
.
“Well, uh… bye then.”

As soon as Fluttershy had walked away, Pinkie peered back at her through the leaves. “I can bet my hoof on it that there’s something wrong with her.” Awkwardly stepping out of the bush, she found her legs, and with them, a sense for mystery. “And if there’s a detective in Equestria that can sniff it out, it’s Pinkie! I’m on your case, Flutter-shy, if that IS your real name!”