//------------------------------// // Epilogue // Story: The Many Complications of Interspecies Romance // by HapHazred //------------------------------// "You know what's cool about losing all your blood?" Rainbow asked. "Nothing, that's what." Applejack didn't even deign to reply as she nudged her special somepony out of the hospital in a wheelchair. Even now, Rainbow looked pale and feeble. She'd wear the scars from the pitchfork her whole life. Not even her thick blue coat could hide them entirely. "Can't fly, can't work, can't even leave the house," she went on. "'Take it slow'. Yeah, because that's totally who I am. I'm known throughout Equestria for how slow I am." Scars were fine, Applejack thought. Scars were wonderful compared to the alternatives. Rainbow might be dead, for starters. Or maybe their desperate attempt inside the… place... mightn't have worked. "You're faster than you'd be if you were dead," Applejack commented. "Which you darn near were. Twice." "I like to think of it as one big prolonged near death experience." But it had worked. Twilight had confirmed as much as soon as she inspected the pair using her strange spell. Their magic had returned to normal. Applejack was still suffering the residual side-effects of being partnered to a pegasus, like splinters, but that was something she'd gladly live with. She was even getting used to them, just a bit. She snickered, and tussled Rainbow’s mane. "I love you." "You've said that. Loads of times," Rainbow replied. "Getting afraid you'll lose me?" Applejack shook her head. "No, I'm just reminding you so that when we get home and we discuss the whole 'fish' thing, you won't forget what's really important to me," she said, and leaned forwards to kiss the back of Rainbow's head. "'Kay?" "Hrmph. Sure, whatever," Rainbow grunted. "You know, pescetarianism isn't even frowned upon in Manehattan. I bet they'd be cool with it." "I ain't from Manehattan." "Fluttershy eats fish." Applejack narrowed her eyes. "Fluttershy doesn't share a mouth with me after mealtime." "Good point," Rainbow muttered. "Would it help if I used mouthwash?" "Honestly, I wouldn't mind if you used mouthwash either way." "Noted. What if I only eat it on our fake-aversary?" Applejack tilted her head. "Maybe. I'll mull it over." Twilight sighed as she peered at the remains of the Pursuit Informatio. All it had become was little more than a disappointing pile of ash and scorched paper at the bottom of a chromium metal bin. Spike shrugged as he kept at his task of the day: making Twilight some scrambled eggs. "It really was quite a useful book," she said. "All the questions we could have asked. All the things we could have known." "All the brambles we could have thrown up," Spike retorted. Twilight winced at the notion, then sighed. "I could have asked it why it was only things beginning with the letter 'B'," she added. "I was never sure why that was." "Why did it burn up?" Spike asked, picking up the bin to throw out. Twilight shrugged. "Maybe changing how the universe thinks damaged it. Maybe two ponies reading it at once was too much. Or maybe there is something to be said about 'burning with passion'." "Doesn't sound all that logical, if you ask me." "It wouldn't be the first time," Twilight said. "Magic is very pesky that way." "Well," Spike said, "hopefully this'll be the last we hear of 'magic books'. Honestly, I'm amazed you even picked the Pursuit up after the Inspiration Manifestation." The dragon left the room, leaving Twilight behind to sulk. "Well, it was hard enough to get, after all. No sense letting it go to waste," she muttered. She hung her head, disappointed. "Well, I suppose it was dangerous. I wonder... what must the ponies of old have thought? Would they have treated it with caution, or was falling into a paradox just an everyday hazard?" Many, many years ago, in a place that was having some difficulty existing properly... "Your go." The dice was rolled. It came up orange. "Sports and leisure. Give me the question." "Very well. How many tennis balls were used during the Whinnybleton championship one hundred and three years ago?" "Oh, everypony knows that one. Fifteen thousand, three hundred and twenty three. Additionally, seven thousand eight hundred and eleven were used for qualifying, and a very surprising twenty seven thousand and ninety two for practice. Fifty thousand, two hundred and twenty six." "Let me just check the Pursuit." "What is the meaning of life?" exclaimed one of the players, a broad grin on his face. The pony with the Pursuit went quiet. "Goodness, there's always that one pony, isn't there?" "Someone take the answerbook away from him." "Eh? Bumblebees?" "Alto Intellectus created a paradox. Cheeky blighter." "What I want to know is, was I right? I still need an orange slice to win." "Of course you were right! Everypony knows the answer to that question!" "I'd have won the orange one before if I got easy questions..." "Oh, stop arguing. It's all in good fun. It's not like it's an actual serious game." "Well, if I've won, then I really should get back home. I need to rest up properly. More and more Bad Books are getting written, and more and more ponies are getting cluttered brains every day." "Soon there won't be enough ponies who know what’s real or not to save everypony. We'll have to start coexisting with stupid ponies." "Don't even joke." "It is a grim thought. If everypony becomes dumb, who will I win at Pursuit Informatio with?" "Everypony. You'd win against everypony."