//------------------------------//
// An Epic Quest 
// Story: To The End of Drudges 
// by GWFan 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 2: An Epic Quest

Utter chaos erupted in the room when someone fell from the ceiling and crashed into the glass cases containing the Drudges.  Fluttershy screamed when a bright light blinded everypony.  
Twilight couldn’t make out anything but could both hear and feel magic energy exploding around her.  Trying to open an eye to see what was going on, she made out the form of a very tall pony jump in front of her and was then vaguely aware that Princess Luna had been shoved next to her.  She could barely see various spheres of blue light flying around the room, bouncing off walls, and firing through doors that flung open from the force.  
Then Twilight heard George’s voice boom, “Dispel!”
An even brighter light enveloped the room and the blue spheres of energy vanished into nothingness.  George bent down and sat hard.  Whatever he had just done, it had exhausted him.  But that wasn’t the foremost thing in Twilight’s vision. 
“Sister!” Luna cried.  
“Princess Celestia!”  She was hunkered over both Twilight and Luna with her wings fully spread as if protecting them.  But her body… her body looked like it was made of some kind of crystals or gems.  She was frozen with a barely recognizable expression of concern for the two ponies in front of her.
“Sister!  Sister!”  Luna hugged the crystal Celestia and cried.  
Twilight couldn’t believe her eyes.  She wanted to cry too, but the shock of the moment forced her to sit there and just stare.
“Rainbow Dash!”
Twilight turned when she heard Pinkie Pie cry out.  Nearly all the color drained from her face.  “Rainbow Dash…” she whispered.  “And Applejack.”  Both of her friends stood frozen, crystallized just like her mentor.  Rainbow looked like she had started to fly somewhere and lay on the ground, her arms and wings extended.  Applejack had reared up on her hind legs, apparently trying to dodge the blue light.  Only her hat hadn’t been crystallized.
Feeling the tears starting to escape her eyes, Twilight walked closer to them, looking around the rest of the room as she did.  She saw Rarity, dazedly picking herself off the floor, facing completely opposite from her.  Fluttershy hugged a crystallized Philomena, who apparently had tried to shield her just as Princess Celestia had done for Twilight.  Tears welled in Fluttershy’s eyes as she spotted her crystallized friends.  Two of the six guards in the room had been crystallized, as well as…
“Trixie.”  Twilight could feel just as much remorse as she had for her friends when she saw Trixie frozen on the spot, crystallized in a position that showed true fear.
“Perimeter!” one of the guards suddenly yelled.  He and the three other guards galloped to Celestia and Luna, encircling them in a defensive manner.  From the expression on their faces, they looked just as scared as every other pony.  And why shouldn’t they?  One of the princesses they were sworn to protect had been crystallized.
“Oh, my back.”
Twilight turned when a pony she didn’t immediately recognize stood up in the center of the room.  Was that Mr. Davenport from the Quills and Sofas store?  Her bewilderment was quickly replaced by shock when she noticed one thing that was different about him.
“Oh my gosh!  You’ve got something on you!”  Pinkie Pie suddenly bounced in front of Davenport and pointed.
“Huh?”  Davenport looked down.  “What the hay is that?”
“Drudge,” Pinkie Pie said, actually sounding worried for once.  Just as she had said, one of the Drudges had grabbed a hold of Davenport’s chest and had stuck there, its mouth flat against him.  Pinkie slowly reached a hoof out towards it.
“Don’t touch it!” George commanded, slowly walking towards them.  He nearly fell over though when Pinkie gently poked the Drudge and its shell bounced like jello.
“Nothing’s happening, silly.  What’s a matter?” Pinkie asked, looking quizzically at him.  Then the Drudge’s eyes lit up, a brief flash of blue light exploded between them, and Pinkie was instantly crystallized.
“Pinkie Pie!” Fluttershy cried out.  
“Stupid pony.  I told you not to touch it,” George shook his head in disgust.  “Why doesn’t anypony ever listen to me?  And you!”  George pointed his staff menacingly at Davenport.  “What have you done, you foal!”
“I… fell?” Davenport asked, still shocked that Pinkie had just transformed in front of him.
“You stupid, idiotic, buffoon!  Do you know what you’ve done!?  Isis has found a host.”
“Isis who?”
“The Drudge on your chest, it’s feeding off you, you mule!  It’s feeding off your energy!”
“It’s doing what?  Get the dang thing off me!”
“Davenport!” Twilight called out.
Davenport looked at her in surprise.  “Huh?  Twilight Sparkle?”
“You know this idiot?” George said, turning to her.
“Yeah.  I buy quills from him all the time.”
“Quills?  This isn’t a time to be worried about quills.  This is a disaster.  Isis has found a host!  This idiot broke the cases and allowed…” George’s expression changed so gradually to fear that Twilight nearly thought he had stubbed his hoof.  “The Drudges.  Where are the other two Drudges?”
Twilight jumped to her hooves.  The guards lifted their hooves, looking everywhere for signs of the evil black creatures.  
“Don’t just stand there you foals.  Look for them!  But carefully!  If they get loose…” George didn’t finish his sentence.  He stalked right by Trixie without so much as a glance, searching the ground and walls.
“Fluttershy, let’s search the halls,” Rarity said hurriedly, galloping to the nearest door.
“Rarity, wait!  What’s that?” Fluttershy called after her.  Rarity stopped and turned back.
“What’s what, dear?”
“Behind you.”
Rarity whirled around, light igniting on her horn.  “Where?”
“Look.”  Fluttershy pointed.  “Underneath your tail.”
“Huh?” Rarity turned back around and lifted her tail.  Then she started to shiver.  “Oh my stars,” she said slowly.  Right underneath her tail, the reddish Drudge had latched on to her.
“Salamander,” George said quietly.  “Salamander has found a host.”
“Oh, gross.  Whoa is me.  Why!?” Rarity cried.  Then soft blue light enveloped the Drudge as she tried to pry it off.  “Come off!  Come off you grotesque thing!”
“Stop!  Stop!  Don’t provoke it!  Do you want another display of their power?” 
Just as Rarity was about to stop, the Drudge let out a screech akin to hooves on a chalkboard and its eyes lit up red.  Fire erupted from its body in a straight line, very nearly scorching Fluttershy.  The fire hit the wall and actually stayed lit, slowly spreading across the stone floor.
“Fire!  Get some water!” one of the guards commanded.
“Stop immediately!” George shouted, halting the guards in mid-step.  “That’s Salamander’s fire.  Only magic can put it out.  Water would just make it spread.”  George walked over to the flame and chanted something under his breath.  He touched his staff to it and the flame died out.
Seeing his magic dowse the flame, Twilight asked George the first thing that came to her mind.  “George, can you reverse the crystal process with your magic?”
George looked at her, a slight hint that he appreciated her approval of his power.  But he frowned as he answered her.  “I’m sorry.  That is one thing I’m afraid I can’t do.  Isis’s ability to turn living matter into diamonds is as hard to reverse as making time stop, the reason being that it involves actual life.  I could very well kill them if I try to reverse it.  Don’t worry though, the Elements of Harmony can fix this easily enough.  Twilight Sparkle, send in the other spirits of the Elements of Harmony.”
Twilight gaped.  “They are here.  We’re here.  That’s what my friends are here for.”
“What?  These other buffoons are the spirits of the Elements of Harmony?”  After hearing how great George claimed to be, Twilight was surprised that he hadn’t guessed that already.  What did he think they were there for?  “You’ve got to be… This is terrible.  We can’t use the Elements like this.  And even if we could, Salamander has tainted one of you and it still wouldn’t work.”  He pointed angrily at Rarity as if the whole thing was her fault.
“It’s not like I asked for this,” Rarity nearly shouted, but she was too upset to put any force behind it.
“Great!  Just great!” George shouted in annoyance, banging his staff on the ground.  “Now we’re going to have to go on an epic quest of life and death to the Temple of Discord in order to remove the Drudges and their power, so we can finally eliminate them with the Elements of Harmony.  Dang it all.  I hate epic quests.”
“Um… what about the other Drudge?” Fluttershy asked.
George gasped.  “Rip Van Winkle!  I forgot about him.  Quick, we have to find him before he finds a host!”
Fluttershy twisted her face in confusion.  “Rip Van Winkle?”  That was certainly a mouthful compared to the other two Drudges.  The only question was where could he have gotten off to in the confusion?  It didn’t seem like he could have gone far. 
“Young lady!” one of the guards yelled out.  
Fluttershy turned to look when she saw a shadow drop onto her from the ceiling.  Fluttershy screamed when she felt something sharp dig into her back. 
“Young lady!” the guard screamed again and ran to her.  But George stopped the guard with his magic.
“Don’t.  It’s too late.  You’ll just provoke it.”  George turned a weary eye to Fluttershy.  “Rip Van Winkle has found his host.”
Fluttershy stood up slowly and turned around.  The last Drudge was resting peacefully, having gripped onto her back and part of her left wing, its mouth flat against her, just under the back of her neck.
“I’m… so sorry,” the guard said and lowered his head.
“I don’t believe this,” George pouted.  “All three of them.”  Abruptly he rounded on Davenport and shouted, “This is your fault!”
“I… I didn’t mean too.  I don’t even really know what’s going on,” Davenport stammered and looked wearily down at the Drudge on his chest.  “It was that thief.  If I hadn’t followed him up there-”
“Thief?  A likely story.  You’re the thief I’ll bet.”  George’s horn lit up and a scroll, quill, and inkpot suddenly appeared in front of him.  “Here!  Sign this.”
Davenport stared at the quill.  “Look at the condition of this quill.  Don’t you know how to take care of them properly?  I could sell you a few I happen to have on me.”
“Just sign the paper!”
“Okay,” Davenport said slowly, took the quill in his mouth and signed his name.  As soon as he had finished, George examined it as if making sure it was genuine.  “What did I just sign?”
“It’s a contract,” George said nonchalantly.  “Starting today I will remember to hate you and your family for the rest of eternity.” 
“W-what?  Isn’t that a little harsh?”
“Them’s the breaks for being a moron, moron,” George said, as if it were no big deal.  The scroll evaporated and George turned away in annoyance.  “This is terrible.  Just terrible.”  He examined Celestia and some of the others.
“George,” Twilight spoke up again.  “What exactly does it mean that the Drudges have found hosts?  What’s going to happen to them?”
“It’s like I just said, the Drudges are feeding off their hosts.  They are eating a sort of internal energy you can’t see normally with the naked eye.  Their intention is to get their full strength back, upon which time they will separate from their hosts.”
“So it’s not stuck on me forever?” Rarity asked excitedly.
“When they separate, the host will probably die.”
Rarity’s entire body seemed to droop as the shock of George’s blunt statement sunk in.
“Wait.  What do you mean probably?” Twilight asked.
“The Drudges have had immense power since their initial creation.  But in order to replenish that power they feed on hosts, just as they are doing now.  However, they need to regain all their lost strength this time, so sucking host after host dry until they’ve reached that goal is easily a possibility.  Or at least, that is the theory proposed by past Mystics who believed the Drudges were still alive.”
“Then what are we waiting for?  We have to get them off now!” Rarity panicked, running up to George and shaking him violently.  “You know a way to remove them, don’t you?  Don’t you!?”
“It’s, not, that, easy,” George shouted, trying to speak around being shaken.  Rarity stopped shaking him when she heard this and George fell over.  He shook his head to get his bearings before speaking again.  “Forcefully removing them is virtually impossible.  And anyway, there’s no longer a way to contain them since somepony broke the cases.”  He glared at Davenport again.
But Davenport whirled around, looking as if he had just been spooked.  “Huh?  What?  What was that?  Who said that?”
“What happened?  Are you okay?” Twilight asked, actually sounding alarmed.
“I heard a voice.  But I don’t know where it came from?”
George’s eyes widened a bit.  “What did it say?  Word for word, what did it say?”
Davenport’s expression looked tense.  “Well, it laughed a little first and then it said, Revenge is mine, Princess Celestia.”
George surprisingly gaped a little.  “Isis?  Isis is speaking into your mind?  She already has that much control?”  George shook his head.  “The scrolls said Isis was always the strongest of them but this…”
“Is that bad?  Is she going to do something to me?” Davenport worried.
“Weren’t you listening at all, you idiot?  She’s going to suck you dry!”
“Please, you have to do something!” Rarity pleaded with him.  “I’m too pretty to die like this.”
“Maybe if we ask real nicely?” Fluttershy suggested.
“Like that would work.  You’re all buffoons,” George said annoyed.
“Stop saying things like that.  It doesn’t help that you’re being so rude all the time,” Twilight said angrily.
“I’m the Great and Powerful George.  I can say whatever I want.”
“And just how great are you really?  Does it even bother you that your own daughter was turned to diamonds?” Twilight retorted and pointed at the crystallized Trixie.
“It’s reversible.  It all depends on whether we can destroy the Drudges or not,” George answered nonchalantly.
“That’s hardly an answer.  You don’t even sound like you care,” Rarity said angrily.
“BE STILL!  EVERYPONY BE QUIET!” an enormous voice boomed.
The ponies all turned when Princess Luna pushed her way through her guards and fixed them all with a glare.  “This isn’t the time to be arguing,” she said in an amazingly loud voice.  “This is a serious problem and we need to work together.”  Then she turned to the guards.  “Captain, We want thee to lead a full search of Canterlot.  We need to find out just how far Isis’s power has extended.  And We don’t want a word of this incident leaking any further than the front gates if at all possible.  If everypony finds out Celestia has been diamondized, it could start a panic.”
Though the guard looked briefly startled at Luna’s change in demeanor, as well as the startling volume of her voice, he immediately saluted.  “Yes ma’am.”  He made a motion and two of the other guards galloped out of the room with him.
Content with her guards’ quick response, Luna turned back to the rest of the ponies and spoke in a quieter tone.  “George, what was all that you were saying earlier about an epic quest?”



Down on the busy streets of Fillydelphia, a small group of ponies worked tirelessly, constructing a tall new building.  The city was booming and many new apartments and homes had to be built to meet the high demand for living space.  However, one carpenter felt a sudden chill and dropped his hammer.
“Cork!” one of the other carpenters called out to him.  “Be careful over there.  What if somepony was hit by that?”
His hammer had landed harmlessly on the ground below, though it probably would have a crack in it and need to be replaced.  That wasn’t what had Cork on edge though.  He licked his lips and stared at the sky, a very strange feeling overcoming his entire body.  He was little more than a simple earth pony, a dusty color, with a cutie mark of a hammer to match his profession.  He had never done much of anything in his life other than build, but all of a sudden, he realized there was something more he needed to do.
“Drudges…” he uttered softly.  Cork baffled himself.  He didn’t know why he had said the strange word.  Even stranger, he realized there was a sentence he still wanted to say.  “The Drudges are awake.”
“Cork?” the other carpenter asked him.  “What are you talking about?  Are you feeling all right?”
Cork turned to his coworker and licked his lips again.  “I gotta go.” 
“Huh?  Cork?  Cork, wait!”
But Cork was already jumping down the levels of the unfinished building.  Something compelled him.  He didn’t know what.  When he landed on the ground, he spun around in a circle, wondering just what he was doing before he suddenly chose a direction and started galloping.  He dashed through town past stores, homes, and ponies, not sure why he was doing this or where exactly he was going.  He just knew he had to go.
As he ran, he was suddenly joined by a female unicorn, looking just as frantic and confused as he did.  Her blonde mane was full of curlers and she wore a bathrobe over her light blue coat.  He could just make out her cutie mark, which resembled a flower of some kind. 
“Drudges?” Cork yelled at her.
“Yes!” she answered.
“What are the Drudges?” 
“I don’t know, but I have to find them!”
Cork couldn’t find a single reason to argue the matter.  Whatever the Drudges were, he had to find them too. 
Cork and the unicorn raced on, not speaking a word.  Suddenly a pegasus flew overhead.  Watching him fly ahead, Cork realized there were two earth ponies running a short distance in front of them.  All five of them raced out of town and onto the open road where they all stopped and started spinning around in circles again.
“Where are we going?  Where are we going?” one of the two earth ponies asked.
The pegasus flew higher into the air and looked around frantically.  Abruptly, he pointed to the west.  “There.  The Drudges are there.”
The five of them took off in that direction without question.  It felt right for some reason.  This was the right way.  As he continued to wonder why he was searching for these things called the Drudges, Cork realized that pretty much the only significant city in this direction was Canterlot.



Rarity rummaged through the saddlebag that had been provided for her, wondering why nopony had thought to put any clothes or accessories inside.  Surly she wasn’t expected to quest clear across Equestria into unknown lands without the proper accessories.
“How does one even pack for an epic quest anyway?” she asked Fluttershy.  “Because if it requires tights and a tunic, I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive.”
Fluttershy shrugged and ran her hoof along the stone floor, wondering if she should be doing something.  Being a pegasus, a saddlebag would have gotten in the way of her wings, let alone the fact that Rip Van Winkle was attached to her back and might retaliate if she tried to cover him with something heavy like that.  So far, he was the only Drudge that hadn’t displayed any form of terrible power.
In general, it seemed Princess Luna and George had planned out most of the quest, leaving the other ponies involved with little else to do but wait to leave.  Twilight was pacing back and forth, running over an unseen checklist in her head.  Even though she hadn’t been able to prepare her own saddlebag, she still had a multitude of things to consider, such as what would happen if their food suddenly ran out, or what if they encountered poor weather, or what if they suddenly became involved in a war between rabbits and squirrels?  In the latter case, Fluttershy was probably all they would need but the other ones were legitimate concerns.  
The quest in itself seemed simple enough.  Travel to the Temple of Discord and remove the Drudges.  So far, it had been decided that both she and George would participate in the quest.  Other than that, Rarity and Fluttershy had no choice but to come along since they had two of the Drudges stuck to their bodies.  Then of course, there was poor Davenport who had started this whole mess in the first place.
They were still in the room where the Drudges had been released and Davenport sat down on the side, not even bothering to check the saddlebags he had been given.  The concern on his face shown like a jade among rubies.  He must have felt quite guilty for freeing the Drudges, accident or not.
Feeling otherwise useless, Fluttershy approached the sad earth pony.  “Are you okay, Mr. Davenport?  You look worried.”
“Hey kiddo.  Fluttershy was it?  I’m okay I guess.  I was just thinking about something.”
“No one blames you Mr. Davenport.  Well… George blames you… but the rest of us don’t.”
“Huh?  No, I wasn’t thinking about that.  I was just wondering what’s going to happen to my store while I’m gone.”  Fluttershy cocked her head in surprise.  “You know, my store?  Quills and Sofas?  I left it with a temp employee, but I’m not sure the kid really has what it takes to sell quills and sofas.  I’m kind of worried.”
“You’ve got a Drudge stuck to your chest and that’s what you’re concerned about?” Twilight said, jumping into the conversation.
“Well sure.  I do run a business for a living.  How long do you think this quest is going to take?  Think it’ll be over by tomorrow?”
Though she was a little annoyed that Davenport didn’t seem that concerned about their immediate Drudge problem, Twilight answered his question seriously.  “I’m not even sure how far we’re going, so I don’t know.  It sounds like it could take a couple of days at least.”
“Oh.  Bummer.  I hope my store can last that long.”
Twilight groaned quite loudly.  
“Are you all right in here?” 
Twilight looked over to the farthest exit and saw Princess Luna walk in.
“Yes, I’m fine.  I was just… thinking about something stupid.  Anyway, how are things looking around Canterlot?”
Luna closed her eyes and sighed before answering.  “It’s not good news, but considering the circumstances it’s not entirely bad either.  There are a lot of guards and servants in the castle that were diamondized.  So far at least, it doesn’t seem like Isis’s spell reached outside the castle walls.  Reports have come in that no citizens have realized what’s going on.  At least not yet.”
Luna looked briefly at her crystallized sister.  “So far, the panic in the castle has been kept to a minimum and the servants and guards have agreed not to speak of this incident.  I don’t know how long before this inevitably gets out though.”
“Don’t worry, Princess Luna.  We’ll complete this epic quest as soon as we can.  Won’t we Davenport?”  Twilight said, trying to get him to see the urgency of the situation.
“Yeah.  Of course.”  Davenport laughed weakly.  Princess Luna looked a little more comforted at least.
“I wish I could go with you, but without my sister, somepony has to take care of royal affairs.  Not to mention raising the sun and moon.”  Luna looked out the window and smiled nervously.  “Actually, I’ve never raised the sun before, so if eternal night happens to occur, it’s not because I’ve turned into Night Mare Moon again.”
Twilight laughed, trying to feign amusement.  “I’m sure you’ll do fine.  I believe in you.  And I’m sure Celestia believes in you too.”
Luna nodded and looked at her sister again.  Celestia must have been even harder to look at for Luna than she was for Twilight.  Twilight could only feel sympathy.  Luna was virtually alone again.  Being alone might have become her greatest fear after spending one thousand years in the moon by herself.
The silence of the somber moment was broken when George entered the room.  “Well, are we ready to go yet?  I want to get this over with as soon as possible.”
“Patience, George.  There are still a few preparations I’ve ordered before you leave,” Luna told him.  They already had saddlebags and provisions ready so Twilight wasn’t sure what else Luna could have prepared for them.  
A few minutes later, two palace guards walked in side by side, both wearing saddlebags.  “Rhubarb and Grey, reporting for duty ma’am.” 
“Good.  We are glad thou were so prompt,” Luna said with a smile, speaking in a strange way again, though not as loudly as before.
“What’s this?  Guards for Celestia?”  Twilight asked.
“No.  For you.”  Twilight looked surprised.  “I can’t go with you and I can’t send an army with you either.  So I figured I would have the two bravest knights left in the guard accompany you and the others on your epic quest.”
The two guards looked just like any of the other guards, both white pegasi with golden armor.  Actually, Twilight silently wondered if it was a requirement for pegasi guards to have a white coat or if maybe they dyed it upon joining.  Nearly all guards looked alike, whether it was the white pegasi or the dark brown unicorn guards who protected the throne room.
The two guards walked up to George and saluted.  “Greetings Master George.  We, Rhubarb and Grey, will be joining you on your quest.”
“Ah, good.  Expendables.  We’ll need plenty of those,” George said enthusiastically.
The two guards dropped their salute and stared at each another in concern.
“Uh… he didn’t mean it good sirs,” Twilight apologized.  “What he meant to say was, welcome to the team.”  She smiled as best she could but the two guards didn’t look comforted.
It seemed they were getting off to a great start, or so Twilight thought with more sarcasm than amusement.  Everypony was so tense, though it was understandable.  The events of the morning hadn’t left anyone with a good taste in their mouth.
Fortunately, the awkward moment was broken when some more guards entered the room.
“Princess Luna, we found this pony sneaking out of the ventilation system outside.  Shall we throw him in the dungeon?”
The ponies all beheld a light grey unicorn wearing a dark green hood as well as hoofcuffs and an anti-unicorn bracelet to block his magic.  Davenport dashed over as soon as he saw him.
“That’s the guy!  That’s the thief I told you about earlier!”
“Shut up, Pops,” the unicorn grumbled, annoyed.
“So you were actually telling the truth?” George said with a bit of astonishment.
“See, I wasn’t lying.  It wasn’t my fault I fell in here.”  Davenport looked expectantly at George.  “So in that case, do you think-”
“No,” George said dismissively.  “Even if you followed him in, you’re the one who broke the cases, so I’m still going to hate you and your family for the rest of eternity.  Besides, you already signed the contract.”
“Awww.”  Davenport sighed. 
“Wait a minute.  Don’t throw him in the dungeon just yet.”  Luna walked over to the unicorn and pushed his hood back.  She took a few moments to look at him.  “We have seen thee before.  There are wanted posters of thee all over Canterlot.  Art though not Burgle?”
The unicorn paled when she mentioned the name.  “Uh… no.  I’m just a look-alike.  I mean, Burgle is my evil twin brother.  I swear.”
“You are Burgle, aren’t you,” Luna said knowingly, dropping her strange speech again.  “I’ve read quite a bit about you, master thief Burgle.  You’re one of the most wanted burglars in Equestria.”
“No, no, no.  Maybe more like third most wanted.”
“Uh huh.  And what exactly were you doing in the ventilation system?”
“He said he wanted to steal something.  I caught him looking into this room,” Davenport said.
“Would you keep quiet, Pops?”  Burgle said angrily.
“Was it the Drudges?” Luna asked him, smiling for some reason.
Burgle looked at her smile in bewilderment.  Then he stomped the ground once with his hoof.  “Ah screw it.  Yes, I was contracted to steal the Drudges.  You happy?”
“You’re kidding.  Who the hay wanted you to steal them?” George asked him.
“I don’t know.  I was given the job through a telegram.  I don’t even know how whoever it was, knew where to find me.  They sent me a box and a contract promising me 100,000 bits.  The letter said I had to put the Drudges in the box or else.”
“Box?  What box?”
“Oh.  He was carrying this with him.”  One of the guards produced a large box.
“Put that down.  Let me see that.”  George looked over the box, feeling it with a hoof.  Then his horn glowed and he enveloped the box with his magic.  Slowly, his expression changed to pure fascination.  “I’ll be a donkey’s uncle.  This box has the power to contain the Drudges.  All three of them at once.”  George looked up from the box and addressed Princess Luna, “This is amazing.  Whoever made this box must be a very talented magician.  I can’t even begin to imagine who.”
“Does that mean we could use it?” Rarity said, feeling hopeful.
“Not with the Drudges attached to you.  Still, I’m very impressed by this.  It could prove useful once we get to the Temple of Discord.”
“Okay then.  Cool.  You can have the box.  Are we done here?” Burgle asked, annoyed.
Princess Luna shook her head and took up a stronger voice again.  “Not quite.  There is still the matter of thy thieving.  Thou hast stolen from many a pony over the years.” 
Burgle crossed his arms.  “Well!  Excuuuuuse me, Princess.  Some of us less fortunate subjects need to make a living somehow.”
“I see,” Luna said and nodded her head slowly.
“I see,” Burgle said, copying her with a prissier sounding imitation.  “Whatever.  Just put me in the dungeon or whatever you’re going to do.”
“Actually, Burgle, I’m going to give you a choice,” Luna said.  “If you want to redeem yourself, then I would like you to join this quest.”
“The thief?” George asked her, his jaw nearly dropping.
“Quest?  What quest?  I don’t know anything about a quest.”
“It’s an epic quest,” Fluttershy put in.  “We’re questing to remove the Drudges from our bodies.”  Fluttershy turned and showed Burgle the Drudge on her back.
“What the hay is that thing doing on you?  Is this going to be dangerous?”
“Very.  Life and death don’t you know,” George confirmed.
“Heck no!” Burgle shouted.  “Lock me in the dungeon.  I’m not gonna put my neck out for some quest.”
“Burgle,” Luna said again.  “Either thou shall join the quest or be banished to the moon.”  Not only Burgle, but Twilight, Rarity, and Fluttershy stared at her.
“The moon?  Why the moon?  Isn’t that kinda overkill?  I’m just a thief.”
“Nonsense,” Luna said in a normal voice again.  “The moon is awfully nice this time of year.  If you look real close, the rocks are 20% brighter than usual.”
Sweat poured down Burgle’s face.  The moon did not sound nice this time of year or any other time of year for that matter.  “Okay, I’m in.  When do we leave?”
“We art glad to hear it.  Guards, take Burgle, clean him up, provide him with supplies, and inform him of our current situation.  We expect him ready to leave in one hour.”
“Uh… yes, Princess Luna,” the guards responded, sounding uncertain.  
As they carried Burgle away, Fluttershy approached Luna.
“We’re you really going to banish him to the moon?”
Luna laughed.  “No.  Of course not.  I just said that to get him to go on the quest.”
“Um, Princess Luna?  If I may, why do you want the thief to come along?  I mean, he is a thief after all,” Davenport asked almost as timidly as Fluttershy.
“Why not?  Every quest needs a good thief.  I thought his skills might come in handy.  Besides, I assume you’ve never heard of Burgle?”  The ponies all shook their heads.  “I’ve read quite a bit about him since my return.  You know he has escaped from every prison he was ever incarcerated in?  And on top of all that, he actually snuck into Canterlot today.  There is no record of anything like that ever happening in the last one thousand years.  It’s not an easy feat.  That’s why I think he would be a perfect addition to your team.”
The ponies all sat in silence for a moment, letting Luna’s explanation sink in.  It sort of made sense, though it sounded like Burgle was more a fascination to her than anything else.
“Well, in any case, I guess we could always use another expendable,” George finally said.
Twilight groaned in exasperation.  Now they had a party of eight going on the quest.  Herself, three ponies with evil creatures stuck to them, a rude mystic, two apparently expendable guards, and a thief who had tried to steal the Drudges once already.  What a strange team. 



“This quest sucks,” Burgle grumbled.
“Oh hush.  If I have to quest with you, I don’t want to hear you whining the whole way,” Rarity said in annoyance.  
“As you wish, my queen,” Burgle answered sarcastically.
“And don’t get snarky either.”
“Now who’s the one whining?”
“I know a great comeback for that, but I don’t feel like exploiting it right now.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?  If you’ve got something to say to me, then say it.”
“Sorry, but you’re insult is in another castle.”
“We’re outside.”
“Clearly you’re not sophisticated enough to understand such witticism.”
“Witta-whatism?  Do you come with subtitles?”
“Come on everyone.  Can’t we all just get along?” Fluttershy pleaded.
“Tell that to him.  He’s the one whining.”
“You’re the one talking in a foreign language.  What the hay is whittle-cism?”
“Oh come on,” Twilight threw her head up in exasperation.  “A witticism is a witty saying or phrase.  End of conversation, please.”
“That was supposed to be witty?  It didn’t even make sense.”
“Of course it did.  You just didn’t understand it,” Rarity remarked.
“Um, Rarity, I didn’t really understand it either,” Fluttershy admitted.
“Oh, Fluttershy, now you’re putting me in an awkward position.  I’m not trying to insult you.”
“Wait, so that was supposed to be witty and an insult?” Burgle asked.
“You didn’t get that the first time?” Twilight said in amazement.
“Would you all shut up?!” George bellowed.  “I can’t believe this.  We’re not even five minutes out of Canterlot and already you’re all arguing?”
The small band looked back.  They could still see two unicorn guards standing outside of Canterlot’s front gates.  Both of them looked concerned, having been close enough to clearly hear them arguing.
“Any journey goes a lot smoother if everypony finds something in common,” Davenport added.  “Anyone want to hear about quills or sofas?”
“You shut up too,” George commanded.
“But I wasn’t even part of the-”
George stopped and pointed his staff at Davenport.  “I’ve already promised to hate you and your family for the rest of eternity!  Don’t make it longer!”
The ponies all looked at each other quizzically.
“What’s longer than eternity?” Twilight finally asked.
“Indefinite eternity of course,” George responded as if it were the most obvious answer.  He continued walking along the road again.  “Why is it every time I go on an epic quest, I always end up traveling with the most dysfunctional ponies?”
“Hey!” Twilight said, but George ignored her.  She sighed to herself, wondering how they were supposed to complete their so-called quest if things kept up like this.