The Trial
Trials in Equestria were not common incidents. Equestria was a land of peace and harmony, so the crime rates were low. Even if crime did happen every once in a while, most of the punishments were already predetermined, so there was no necessity for a trial in many of those occasions.
As Celestia stood in front of Statice, she noticed how young the green unicorn was. He was probably the same age as Twilight, but his facial expressions suggested that he was more emotional maturity within the stallion. In her thousands of years as a ruler, Celestia knew that nopony was born inherently good or evil, so she was trying to be as impartial as possible.
Only one way to find out what kind of pony this stallion is. Let's try to test him with some simple questions.
“Static,” Celestia called out the green stallion’s name. “Do you know who I am?”
“I think that you are Princess Celestia,” Statice admitted with a bit of reluctance, despite his determined gaze.
“You think?” Celestia raised an eyebrow. Every subject knew who she was, even if she didn’t directly meet them. It was kind of easy considering her unique physical appearance and her cutie mark.
“I came from afar, so I don’t know much about Equestria,” Statice admitted, not lying but neither telling the whole truth about his life.
“You were not born in Equestria?” Celestia cocked her head.
That's odd, but not impossible. There are some rare cases of ponies being born in neighboring lands. Still, that leaves me wondering about his roots. Where was he born exactly and how did he came to Equestria?
“I was born close to Equestria, but not exactly inside of it,” Statice admitted, as he tried to determine which details of his life he was going to mention. A lifetime of travels taught him that moving to different countries was a complicated issue that was much easier when one didn't talk much about previous visits to other locations.
“I think that he is a spy,” Rainbow Dash whispered to her friends.
“That’s ridiculous, Rainbow Dash!” Applejack shot back.
“It is not!” Rainbow Dash snapped at the orange mare. “What pony would grow up outside of Equestria? It’s like being born and raised in the Everfree Forest!”
“I don’t wanna think about that!” Fluttershy trembled.
“We are going to be partial, Rainbow Dash,” Twilight told the prismatic mare as her face showed a failed attempt to look calm with a twitching eye and a trembling lip that alternated between demented smile or threatening scowl. “I mean, look at me! I don’t like him, yet you don’t see me doing anything about it.”
The mares gave a concerned look to Twilight, more specifically what she was holding on her hooves. She was using Spike as one of those therapeutic squeezing balls as her forelegs kept squishing him against her in vice grip hug. Their attention was now focused back on Statice and Celestia.
“Would you mind explaining to me why you attacked my nephew?” Celestia asked with a stern tone. Despite his shortcomings, Blueblood was still her family and she didn’t approve of anypony hurting him.
“He was a jerk that lectured me over my lack of manners because I did not follow a dress code at a restaurant!” Statice stomped his hoof on the floor. “I already paid for my meal and I gave the owner a generous tip to ignore it, but then he showed up and started a rant in front of the whole restaurant. I stood there and took it until I had enough, at which point I blasted him out of the place.”
The mares gasped at the green stallion's honest admission of his crime. It was a big deal because he attacked a member of Celestia’s family and he sounded like he didn’t think much of it. To put it in simple terms, he was buying himself a one way ticket to the moon for his behavior.
Despite being surprised at his nerve, Rarity was slightly pleased that Statice injured Blueblood, remembering how cruel and insensitive he acted towards her at the Grand Galloping Gala. The only thing she did not approve of the incident with Blueblood was the fact that Statice didn’t follow the dress code of the restaurant. After all, what kind of pony would go to a Canterlot restaurant without formal clothes?
“You are also accused of running away from the guards,” Princess Luna chimed in, ready to participate. This was going to be her first time giving a serious trial in Equestria since her return and she was determined to act as professional as possible.
“I wasn’t going to let myself be arrested for giving that jerk what he had coming to him, Princess” Statice stared at her challengingly.
“That is Princess Luna to you, criminal!” the dark blue alicorn stood on her hind legs and spoke in her Royal Canterlot Voice. “I am the Princess of the Night and co-ruler of Equestria and you will address me as such.”
Statice widened his eyes in surprise before staring at Luna. He remembered the tale of the Mare in the Moon on which Celestia was forced to banish her sister to protect Equestria. Despite the memory of the tale still being printed inside his mind, Statice couldn’t help but notice that there was a little inconsistency with the story his parents used to read him when he was a foal.
“You’re small,” Statice pointed a hoof at Luna.
“Excuse me,” Luna cocked her head to the side, confused at what Statice said.
“My mother used to tell me about the Mare in the Moon and even showed me a book with drawings once. In it, you were the same size as your sister was in the illustrations. Now that I see you in person, I must ask you, out of curiosity rather than disrespect, why are you smaller than your sister?”
Everypony gasped at the question. Cadence slapped her forehead, annoyed at how Statice was digging his own grave with his question. Celestia seemed bemused at the turn of events while Luna was having a twitching eyebrow.
That went out of hoof.
“My size is of no concern to you!” she snapped as her horn summoned gales of wind and clouds of lightning. Fluttershy and Rarity squealed in fear as thunder echoed across the hall. Pinkie Pie popped out with an umbrella, just in case Luna was going to make it rain inside the castle.
Before Luna had the chance of smiting the fool who ignited her anger, Celestia put a hoof on her shoulder and gave her a disapproving look. She shook her head, silently letting her know that it was not worth it. Luna sighed before cancelling her storm, mentally admitting that her sister was right.
Statice stared at the scene, awed at the second alicorn’s power. He was fascinated by what he saw and desired to see what the remaining two were capable of doing. He raised his hoof so that Celestia could see it.
“Do you have a question?” Celestia asked in a calm voice, trying to maintain her composure to keep the trial orderly.
“Would you mind explaining me who these two are?” Statice pointed at Cadence and Twilight. “Before I came here, I was only aware that you were the ruler of Equestria. I knew of Luna’s existence, but I thought that she was still… you know… trapped in the moon. I was not informed of the existence of two more alicorn princesses.”
Celestia was tempted to answer, only to see Cadence standing up and walking to Statice. Shining Armor stiffened, not wanting his wife to be close to the prisoner, but refusing to take an action that may earn her disapproval.
“My name is Cadence,” the pink alicorn gave him her most charismatic smile, making Statice blush and turn his head away from her. “I am the ruler of the Crystal Empire and the Princess of Love.”
Statice blushed even more when she mentioned the L-word, a gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by Shining Armor. He glared at the prisoner, whose blush disappeared and was replaced with an angry scowl when he noticed him.
“My husband told me that your name is Statice and that you are a mercenary,” she smiled comprehensively at him. “He told me about your name right after you two were finished with the interrogation.”
“That was supposed to be between you and I, jerk!” Statice shook his hoof at Shining Armor. His blush was back, this time out of unbridled rage rather than nervousness around a pretty mare.
“I just did my job for my princess and my wife!” Shining Armor snapped back.
“You have a pretty name, Statice!” Cadence giggled.
“Call me Static!” Statice turned his head away in embarrassment.
“May I say something, Princess Celestia?” Rarity stood up, wanting to give her utmost sincere opinion about the prisoner.
“You may take your word, Rarity,” Celestia nodded her head at the white unicorn and prepared to listen to what she might say.
“I think that you have a pretty name, darling,” she gave him a coy smile. “After all, in the language of the flowers, your name means fond memories. It's quite a beautiful meaning name when you think about it.”
Statice felt his jaw drop as Rarity revealed the secret hidden in his name that he didn’t want anypony to know. Several reactions were made from different ponies. Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike broke in laughter. Fluttershy smiled, finding the name lovely and meaningful. Shining Armor was suppressing laughter, finding Statice’s name relation to flowers to be hilarious. Even Celestia and Luna snickered as they found the laughter of the other ponies contagious. The only ones who didn’t laugh were Applejack, who didn’t saw a problem with Statice’s name, and Twilight Sparkle, who was still calculating her punishment for him.
Statice felt the humiliation drown him as he was unable to do anything other than bear with it until the laughter died down. He wanted to glare at Cadence for bringing out his name, but a look to those beautiful purple eyes calmed him down.
“Would you mind telling me why would you rather be called Static than your true name?” she asked innocently, seeming worried about why he would hate his real name that much.
“I am a mercenary,” Statice deadpanned. “Who is going to hire a mercenary that is named after a flower? Furthermore, do you have any idea of what an easy target you are when you are a male with the name of a flower?”
Cadence frowned as she uncovered another piece of the stallion’s past. He was probably bullied as a colt in a place outside of Equestria, where the inhabitants were less likely to treat him nicely. It was quite obvious that he was more of a misguided soul rather than a criminal. She gave her aunt Celestia a look that promised her an explanation before she went back to her husband, nuzzling his cheek before the trial continued.
“Statice,” Celestia addressed the green unicorn, rolling the name on her tongue to see if she pronounced it right. “Can you tell me where do you come from? I find it unusual that being a pony you don’t know anything about the princesses of Equestria?”
“I grew up in Hobuck,” Statice shrugged his shoulders, hoping that the answer was more than enough to satisfy Celestia. After all, she did visit Hobuck once based on the history lessons his parents gave him.
Both Celestia and Luna winced upon hearing the name. The gesture did not go unnoticed by Twilight, who frowned in worry for her mentor and her sister. “Is there something wrong?”
“We do not have good memories of Hobuck,” Luna shook her head, wanting to avoid a conversation about the town.
“Ooh!” Pinkie Pie called out. “Is it some magical place that disappeared from Equestria like the Crystal Empire?”
Luna silently cursed her luck before exchanging a nervous glance with Celestia. It was better if she just told them. They at least owed the Element Bearers the truth after everything they’ve done for Equestria. “Hobuck is a normal place in comparison with the Crystal Empire, but we don’t talk much of it nowadays.”
“Why don’t you talk about Hobuck anymore?” Twilight raised an eyebrow, curious to know about the location. She studied everything about the geography of Equestria, and knew for a fact that there was no place like Hobuck in there. Speaking about geography, she was not aware of the Crystal Empire until Celestia tasked her to save it. Did that mean that Hobuck had some obscure history like the disappeared kingdom?
“You can say that it is one of our failures,” Celestia sighed before looking at her fellow ponies. “It is no big failure like Nightmare Moon or the disappearance of the Crystal Empire, but it was still a disappointment that we would rather not talk about.”
“Why is it considered a failure?” Twilight asked, hoping that she was not intruding too much into Celestia and Luna’s past. As much as she wanted answers, she didn’t want to cause discomfort to her former mentor.
“It was supposed to be the center on which all the sentient creatures of Equestria could live in harmony with each other,” Statice responded as he prepared to give them a tale about his home. “The place was originally inhabited by ponies. However, it was also filled by dragons, Diamond Dogs, griffins, changelings, and any other life form that was capable of speech and socialization.”
“That sounds like a nice place!” Pinkie Pie cheered. “Just imagine having friends of all sizes and shapes!”
“I know a lot of ponies that will disagree with you,” Statice retorted. “Hobuck is not very pony friendly.”
“Why not?” Pinkie Pie asked, her ears flattening as well as her mane.
“Hobuck was supposed to be a city of equality,” Luna answered before Statice did with disappointment palpable in her voice. “Unfortunately, the non-pony citizens started a civil war because they believed that the pony citizens were going to receive privileges over them.”
“That sounds awful!” Fluttershy cried, trembling as she imagined a war. She could see that her friends agreed with her based on their shared horrified reactions.
“It was awful,” Celestia shook her head. “The war drove most of the pony citizens away from Hobuck with only a few remaining there to fight. By the time the fight was over, those who left refused to come back. To make matters worse, one of the results of the war was complete independence of Equestria.”
At this point, everypony but Statice, Celestia, and Luna gasped. Equestria was one of the best places in the world to live. Nopony in their right mind would want to leave it, much less stop being part of it.
“Princess?” Shining Armor looked at Celestia unsurely. “Ever since I joined the Royal Guard, I’ve studied the military history of Equestria. No mention of Hobuck was ever written in my study books.”
“We didn’t like to talk about Hobuck,” Luna admitted somberly, her head lowered in shame. “There were lots of casualties that we’d rather forget.”
“That brings us to the issue for this trial,” Celestia coughed into her hoof, trying to hide the sadness of her previous failure. “Due to Statice not being a citizen of Equestria, this may excuse some of his behavior. However, this will not excuse any crimes that he knowingly committed. You still used offensive magic on my nephew, my guards, my student, and her friends.”
Statice placed a hoof over his eyes. Why was royalty always trying to kick his tail? They were always the ones who threw the first blow! He was just fighting back for crying out loud!
“They started it!” Statice crossed his hooves across his chest. “I was the one that ended it. It’s not my fault that lots of ponies tried to get in the way.”
Twilight glared at the green stallion, angry at him for speaking like that to her mentor. She stood up and looked at Celestia with determination. “May I speak, Celestia? I want to ask our prisoner some questions.”
Celestia gave Luna an unsure glance before sighing and addressing her former student. “You may speak, Twilight. But do not let him coerce you into a fight.”
“I won’t,” Twilight promised. Statice raised an eyebrow at her. That sounded like an interesting challenge to him.
“Why did you attack me and my friends?” she asked him as she walked at his direction. “You could have run away, but instead you chose to stay and fight. Why did you choose that option?”
“It was impossible,” Statice sighed. “The rainbow mare would have caught up with me if I had tried to run away. Your magic also prevented me from escaping unless you were neutralized. It was one of those fights that you have to fight whether you like it or not.”
Twilight pondered on the answer. It was kind of true as he could have been captured by Rainbow Dash the second he started running. He couldn’t have escaped her as long as she was using her magic on him. Both of his statements were truly valid.
I guess fighting was the only option for him. Thinking about it, escape wasn't really an option for him.
“I guess that I will tolerate your behavior because of your unfamiliarity with the society of Equestria,” Twilight began as she paced back and forth in front of him. “But I will not tolerate any further misbehavior in this trial. We are your princesses and we ask of you to give us…”
“Don’t tell me you’re still mad at me for sucking your horn,” Statice interrupted her in an exasperated manner. “It happened yesterday so get over it.”
The room went silent. Spike’s jaw dropped as he stared at his five friends, expecting them to say something about the issue. Their shocked silence was the only verification that proved that Statice’s claim was true. Having gotten his answer, Spike stuck out his tongue and groaned in disgust. Sucking a horn sounded gross.
Now I understand why Twilight was so mad at Statice.
Cadence stared at her husband in worry. He had entered into a state of shock that she never expected of him. She never saw Shining Armor losing his cool before as he kept his emotions in check due to his job. Right now, she was wondering how her husband was going to look like if he shared his sister’s temper. She tried to look at her aunts for reassurance, only to find them staring at the scene uncomfortably.
Twilight’s face was now sporting a blush. She was stammering, incapable of making coherent speech. She was ashamed and humiliated as that…that jerk once again brought back her horn, this time on the trial, in front of her fellow princesses and Shining Armor. The blush on her cheeks spread across her face as steam came out of her ears and nostrils. She bared her teeth, grinding them as she felt her face scrunch up in anger.
Statice quickly figured out that he messed up when Twilight’s hoof flew at him and slapped him across the face in the same way it did yesterday. The slap echoed across the hall and made everypony, except a still shocked Shining Armor, wince in sympathy.
“Don’t bring my horn into this!” Twilight yelled in a hysterical fashion. Her purple fur was now red across the face, reflecting her anger and embarrassment.
Statice rubbed his sore cheek, conscious of the red hue that was covering the green fur. “I don’t understand what is the big deal about it,” he protested. “You were a powerful magic user, so I chose to disrupt your focus by hitting your horn. Since my hooves were unavailable, I just used my mouth and teeth on your horn to distract you with pain, or at least with moderate discomfort because I couldn't manage to bite you hard enough to hurt you. What's so bad about mentioning that strategy?”
This time, Twilight’s other hoof slapped him on the intact cheek. Statice groaned as he rubbed both red bruises on his cheeks. “Stop talking about my horn!” Twilight screamed at him.
“Fine,” Statice growled, getting tired of the violence. “It's just that I don’t see what is so wrong about it! I’ve used that strategy on fights against unicorns and it always worked to disrupt spells that were impossible for me to defeat.”
Cadence quickly took a step forward, gently pulling Twilight away to prevent the purple alicorn from having the chance of slapping him a third time. “The problem is that a unicorn’s horn is very sensible, so when you attacked it, you…”
She was unable to finish her sentence as her husband quickly tackled Statice into the ground. Both stallions were now surrounded by a cloud of dust as their hooves were flying in every direction. It was clear that they were getting into a hoof fight.
“You sucked on my sister’s horn!” Shining Armor roared in outrage in the middle of the big ball of violence. They were fighting so fast and so violently that it was impossible to recognize who was hitting who.
“And what if I did that, you incompetent punk?” Statice challenged as the fight grew in scale.
Cadence stared at the scene in horror. She had never seen her Shiny behave that violently. She turned her head around to ask for her aunt’s advice but stopped at what she saw.
Celestia was breathing heavily…with the angriest face she could muster. Frustration and irritation marked her features as the last of her patience wore down. Powering her horn with magic, she sent a current down her front hooves. She raised her forelegs and brought them down on the floor in a powerful stomp. The magic she released created a blinding flash that was accompanied with a strident shout.
“CUT IT OUT!”