As I continued to follow Chrysalis deeper into the Changeling Encampment I noticed a few things. The deeper we went into the encampment, the more the encampment became twisted then the normal Everfree Forest. Complete with more goo, more odd plants, more changelings that most likely want to kill me and most of all no donut shops. Usually this would make a person want to run away at an incredibly fast speed. Thankfully I was too awesome to not be scared off. I started to think again.
This is just like Earth because Earth is such a horrible place. Hell this might even be an improvement compared to Earth. At least the locals are cool….
Before I could get my thoughts completed I was interrupted by Chrysalis. Chrysalis just turned around with an inquisitive look on her face.
“What’s Earth?” Chrysalis simply questioned.
“How did you read my thoughts?” I asked in shocked manner.
“I can simply read thoughts. What’s wrong with that?” Chrysalis replied with a hint of annoyance in her voice.
I just looked at her confused. Going through my great stronghold of knowledge and understanding, I couldn’t find anything in my mind that could tell me how Chrysalis could read thoughts. I simply decided to get angry and ask Chrysalis what the hell this was about.
“OBJECTION!!!! That never happened in the season finale of season two. You never read anyone’s thoughts. You just simply drained love from Shining Armor and almost took over Canterlot. You’re wrong and I’m right.” I shouted. Chrysalis just looked at me confused.
“What the Tartarus are you talking about? Also how do you know this much about me? You also didn’t answer my previous question, what’s Earth? ” Chrysalis said with a large hint of anger in her voice. I guess she didn’t like being yelled at by others. I just sighed at this.
“Never mind, I guess some things are better left unexplained. I’ll also answer all your questions when we arrive at the place you are taking me.” I replied back making the decision because John Smith trumps Queen. Chrysalis just stood there thinking for a moment. This took a while.
“Very well.” Is all Chrysalis said before we continued our trek towards where ever the hell we were going.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sooner or later we arrived at the location that Chrysalis was taking me to. It was just a random cave in the heart of the encampment. As we entered the cave I noticed some things. Inside the cave wasn’t covered in green goo much like outside. It was actually kind of regal looking, complete with some furniture that looks very out of place. This cave looked fit for a Queen, well as fit as a cave in the middle of a stupid forest could be. As soon as we entered the opening of the cave was blocked by larger and much more intimidating than usual changelings. With this I placed the statue of Discord (I still have this thing) down and brought up a chair because I guess I wasn’t leaving for a while. From the looks of it, Chrysalis was also getting comfortable. This was going to take a while.
I decided that this was a good time to start my barrage of questions. I slowly pulled out another sheet of paper that held my top 100 questions for Chrysalis to answer. These questions were of great importance and for great science. Questions ranged from ‘why do you have holes in your legs?’ to ‘Can I brush your mane?’ As you can clearly see, these questions are more important than Chrysalis’s boring ones such as ‘what are you?’ or ‘how do you know me?’ or my personal favourite ‘why are you here?’
When I pulled out my very long list of questions, it suddenly got shot out of my hands by a green magical bolt. When it landed on the cave floor, it just disintegrated into ashes. As I looked towards Chrysalis, she had a menacing look in her eyes. This angered me, how dare she destroy my fun?
“What the hell was that for! I was going to ask you some very important questions! “I yelled. My yell echoed in this cave for added effect, or maybe I have the secrets of the Royal Canterlot Voice nailed down perfectly. Either way, what the hell? Chrysalis seemed even more angered at my outburst.
She must really hate getting yelled at. I thought.
“Indeed I do Mr. Smith.” Chrysalis replied annoyed. I forgot that she could read my mind. No point in thinking around her I guess.
“You followed me into my base so I think I get the rights to question you.” said Chrysalis.
We looked at each other menacingly for a while. About 5 minutes later I decided that I would answer a few questions before I asked mine. Why not humor her?
“Can I ask something very important first? How did you land in the Everfree Forest if you got shot towards the desert?” is all I asked.
Chrysalis just stood there, somehow standing on two hooves while lifting her two front hooves to the front of her face and simply said “Portals.”
“That explains a lot.” is all I replied with. One question down, 99 more to go.
“Good. Now you’re going to answer every question I have and you’re going to answer them with the most truth you can muster. Don’t even try to lie, I’m the master of deception after all so I can easily tell if you are lying or telling the truth. Such a skill the changelings and I picked up after many years of lying.” said Chrysalis in the most intimidating voice she could muster. I found this adorable because I’m never intimidated by anything. Well everything except for spiders, those things are scary.
“Whatever living lie detector.” is all I said while being as nonchalant as possible. Chrysalis just glared at me for in insolence.
“First of all, what are you?” asked Chrysalis.
“I’m John Smith and I’m a human.” is all I said.
“Okay, what’s a human? I’ve never heard of a human before” asked Chrysalis suspiciously.
“Why should I tell you what one is if I’m in front of you?” I said annoyed. This was going to take a while. Chrysalis took this as a signal and decided to look around at me.
“Taking it all in I see, I guess that makes sense because I am just so amazing that even the Queen of the changelings can’t keep her hooves off me.” I said in a smug voice with a goofy grin. This just annoyed the Chrysalis more than anything. After Chrysalis got the idea of what a human is she decided to ask her most important question.
“Why were you looking for me?” Chrysalis simply asked.
“I was looking for you because I wanted to ask you some questions. But after you destroyed my paper I can’t ask them anymore. So now I’m just here answering your boring questions. That entire changeling bashing scenario was for nothing. What a rip off.” I said in an angry voice. Chrysalis seemed alarmed at this and asked.
“Why were you attacking my subjects? Why didn’t you come after me specifically? Didn’t you notice that they were in bad shape? I can take the punishment of the blast from Canterlot but they can’t.”
Now that Chrysalis mentioned it they did look in pretty bad shape. When I looked back they had torn wings, they looked battered and bruised, and some of them looked reluctant to even fight. They were just trying to defend their queen but who cares if I beat a lot of them into a pulp, I’m John Smith. The only way I could reply was
“I tried to but they attacked me when I asked for you. There faults for starting it.” I said fully annoyed. It’s those fools fault that they were in bad shape, not mine.
Chrysalis didn’t say anything. As I looked up to her she looked sad. I felt a pang of guilt grow inside me. She might be evil and kind of a bitch but from the looks of it she really did care for her subjects. I mean that’s the only reason why she tried to takeover Equestria and not for the sheer pleasure of conquest and ruining the lives of all ponies.
Tapping into my inner humanity I decided to go over to Chrysalis and comfort her. Chrysalis first tried to get away but soon started to just not care. Her subjects were dying and there was nothing she could really do. I put my arm over her and said.
“Want to talk about it Champ?”
Chrysalis just stared up at me before deciding to tell her life story. Maybe this ‘human’ wouldn’t judge her.
“All I was trying to do was feed my subjects; if I just took over Equestria then my subjects would be prosperous.”
“Why did you try to takeover then? What’s wrong with your main land?” I simply asked.
“Our main land suffers from extreme droughts because for some reason clouds don’t move by themselves and the weather also never changes for some reason so our main food supply can’t be grown so we have to depend on our abilities to feed off of love.” replied Chrysalis.
I just remembered that weather works differently on this planet. Pegasi are the main reasons why the weather in Equestria is so glorious and I’ve heard that there are some places that the weather works normally such as the Everfree Forest. I didn’t know that this also applied to the Changeling’s main land. Knowing the status of the changelings towards ponies, I didn’t think that they would be willing to help out the changelings with their weather problems.
“Can’t you just feed of the love of each other?” I asked.
“We can and we do in times of extreme circumstances but this can only keep us feed for a short period of time. We need the love of other races to stay alive.” Chrysalis replied.
“Why didn’t you try to negotiate with Equestria? I mean conquering other countries can be good if you do manage to takeover. But what would you do after most of the ponies inevitably die from your rule? You wouldn’t be able to grow more food. You can take over everything else when Equestria is dead but then what? If you negotiated then you could have made a deal where everyone benefits.” I replied.
“What’s negotiation?” said Chrysalis while looking up to me confused as if I spoke in an ancient language. I just sighed at this.
“You know negotiation. It’s when two different beings work out a deal that benefits both sides, simple as that. Surely you’ve negotiated with others before.” I replied. Chrysalis just thought a little before coming up with a reply.
“I can’t say I have, it’s the Changeling mentality to take what you want, when you want. It’s been like that since my Parents have ruled.” replied Chrysalis who was losing the cold edge to her voice. Again I just sighed at this because it looked like she was a victim of extreme parental guidance.
“Also how can we negotiate with nations that reject us from their societies?” said Chrysalis. I thought about this for a while before coming up with a conclusion.
“Say, how many times has your nation tried to takeover something?” I asked while almost coming to a conclusion. Chrysalis beamed with a smile.
“In all of Changeling history, we as a nation have invaded about ten different countries. There might be more times but I’m not sure. This attempt was actually our most successful attempt yet. There are also some renegade changelings in Equestria running around.” replied Chrysalis. I just stared at her with my best poker face.
“There’s the problem. It’s not because your kind is different. You’ve been shunned from society because you tried to invade and takeover society many times. I don’t think that this gives your kind good publicity. Maybe you should stop trying to take over everything if you want your kind to survive.” This was my ending quote for this discussion. Chrysalis just stood there and thought for a while again.
“You might be right. I will think more about this ‘negotiation’ business. But how do we do this if we are already Equestria’s public enemy number one.” questioned Chrysalis.
“Good question. I’m going to explore Equestria for a while so if by any chance I get to meet the Celestia and Luna, I’ll throw in a word that you are not that bad and only want to help your people. Or maybe you can be risky and send in a party to do your bidding. Who knows?” I said.
“I’ll see where this goes. Thank you Mr. Smith for your help.” Chrysalis said gracefully and losing all the coldness in her voice.
“It was a pleasure. Now I must go, mai waifu needs me.” With that said I was about to leave. Before I was about to leave, for some reason green goo went around my feet and hardened. I struggled to get out of it by to no avail. Even with my powers there is no way to break out of hardened green goo, the strongest substance in the multi verse. With this happening Chrysalis walked up to me. I just looked at her with mock fear.
“Before you go, why not stay around. I’m in dire need for some love right now. “Chrysalis was dangerously close now. “ Consider this the last ‘evil’ thing I do” Chrysalis seductively whispered in my ear. All I could do was just look blankly before the inevitable happened.
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" Is all I yelled. Chrysalis just jumped back confused.
"Wait no, this is the part where you're supposed to scream with a long overdone no. Just like that Shining Armor guy."Chrysalis tried to explain to me. I just thought for a second before doing it right.
"I knew that." I said with shifty eyes. No one will ever know about this minor screw up. Doing it right I got on my knees, put my hands in the air and took a deep breath. This was going to be a doozy.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"I yelled.
"How was that?" I asked.
"Perfect."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The two Changeling guards just stood there while they were hearing loud questionable noises coming from within the cave. This went on for a while before one guard spoke up.
"I don't get paid enough for this." said guard one.
"We don't get paid at all." replied guard two
"My point exactly, why don't we just leave. Who would even care if two random guards left, we all look the same so no one would ever notice? When we leave we could go on crazy adventures and shenanigans." said guard one. Guard two thought for second.
"You're right, let's get out of here."
And this was the end of guard duty for guard one and two forever. They went off in different directions to have some fun around Equestria.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Morning
After that whole session of craziness I thought it was the time to actually leave. Before I could make it out of the cave Chrysalis woke up.
"You're leaving already?"asked Chrysalis with a hint of sadness in her voice.
"I must go now if I want to do all the stuff I want to do. That includes getting you good publicity." I said before leaving
"Okay, please visit sometime soon." Is all Chrysalis said before I left. When I turned to leave I remembered something. I walked up a picked up the statue of Discord.
"Can't forget this now can I. I will also mail you the bill for my services." that`s when I left for good.
As I left I felt revitalized by the fresh air. This place was still creepy looking but I got used to it. I also noticed that the guards were gone.
Now time to find the blasted exit of this forest.
That's when I realized that the exit was right beside me. I just dropped to my knees and screamed and yelled at the top of my lungs.
"STUPID SHAPE SHIFTING FOREST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I ran out of the Everfree Forest in a rage.
Next Time: I Don't know yet, I'll think of something.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author's Notes: Yes I did just infer clop, what of it? Why, because he's a Marty Stu that's why. Also my friend wanted me to write that so I did. The whole Everfree forest ark is now complete. Now time for the Ponyville part of the story. It will be fun.