Jasmine stroked along the front patches of fur on her lower body with a pink brush. Each stroke let out a scent of fresh linen from her body, covering the Pokémon’s room at H.O.R.S.E. headquarters with its pleasant scent. She closed her eyes and smiled.
“I’ve never had the time to brush my matted fur like this before. Strange that I’ve started doing it now.” She said to herself.
Rondo, who roosted on a perch at the left of the room, moved his beak towards the direction of the scent. He raised his right wing and smiled.
“I see your fur is being brushed again. What’s the occasion?”
“No occasion, Rondo. I’ve realized just how mangled my fur is. I can’t have it looking like that all the time, could I?” Jasmine retorted.
“It has been a very easy day so far. Jasmine's brushing her fur and I’m just taking this sweet time to hone my artistic vision. I don’t really expect much to happen today.” Wielding a brush in his hand and painting an image of a steel barn, Stereo stated.
Fluttershy passed through the open doors of the room. In her mouth, she carried two small bags filled with shaved herbs and vegetation. She dropped them to the ground.
“Jasmine, Rondo, Stereo, did either of you happen to see where Mono and Lith went?” She asked.
“I think they are with Commander Spitfire doing one of their ‘Swordsmanship Training Courses’. Do you need them?” Jasmine asked.
“Well, I found these bags of catnip inside of a fallout shelter and since the domestic household cat went extinct, I was hoping that I could give these to them.” Fluttershy explained.
“That’s kind of degrading for a gift. I know what that stuff does! It makes felines all loopy and high!” Rondo squawked out.
Fluttershy frowned and craned her neck away. She rubbed her right front leg with her left front hoof.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to sound insulting about it. I just remembered that this existed and I thought Mono and Lith would enjoy this gift since they are felines.”
“At least your heart was in the right place, Fluttershy. But, it would probably be best for you to dispose of those drugs.” Jasmine suggested.
Twilight Sparkle sprinted into the room, breathing with rapid increments and holding herself against the wall.
“Twilight! Why do you look like you ran twenty miles?” Fluttershy asked with a curious tone.
“That’s because I did just run twenty miles. Professor Gentian and I, we were researching the time-space theory when our machinery detected an abnormal number of dimensional anomalies within the city.” Twilight Sparkle panted out.
“In the city? That seems rather unusual. Would you know what the cause would be?” Jasmine asked.
“I’m not sure…”
Spitfire, Mono, and Lith walked into the room with calm smiles worn.
“I heard you called for us.” Spitfire asked. “So is it true that our city is the home to some dimensional breaks not caused by us?”
“You heard right. But… where are the others?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“Custard is assisting Hydrangea with some floral research, Gnasher’s out with Razor Wind hunting for wildlife as always, Professor Pasque and Einstein are too busy to come and Rundas and Boreas got assigned to patrolling the landscape.” Lith responded.
“Fei and Sophia are out shopping for food and Professor Gentian and Tesla were with you, so I really can’t say much there.” Mono added.
Spitfire’s watched let out a series of sharp beeps. She raised it to her face and touched it. The hologram of a changeling’s head trembled. His eyes were wide and his mouth quivered in fear.
“C-c-commander! The museum’s being attacked by two strange creatures!” The changeling shouted.
“The museum? What do you mean by strange creatures? Are they a part of the Van’Goth?” Spitfire asked.
“They don’t really look like it. One looks like some sort of cow and the other one is a bipedal creature that looks like he is straight out of a movie back during the time when video tapes were still being circulated.”
“Well isn’t that an unusual description. We’ll be on our way to the museum.”
“Hurry! The bipedal thing is drawing mustaches all over the portraits!”
The hologram of the changeling’s head vanished back into the watch. Spitfire shook her head and turned towards Twilight Sparkle’s direction.
“Dune Bug reportedly saw some strange creatures. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that those strange anomalies and the creatures arriving are related. We have to investigate it.”
“And I agree. Maybe we’ll be able to find the cause of those anomalies.” Twilight Sparkle said.
Stereo sighed and dropped his brush.
“Well, so much for my statement there.”
A pale pasty white man with brown hair that was swept back in an Elvis style stood in front of a painting of a lilac-coated pony with a black marker in his right hand. He had left his tropical shirt unbuttoned, revealing a white t-shirt underneath it. His green pants are designed with canary yellow pinstripes and his feet were adorned in shiny black dress shoes.
By his side is a peach-coated cow with a black hood-like marking around her face that started around her stubby horns on top and extended down to her neck. Four udders existed on her cream-colored belly and she had four black cloven hooves on her. Her slender tail ended with a black ball. She slanted her blue eyes with an unamused frown on her face.
“Are you sure you should be drawing moustaches and monocles on these paintings and statues, Joker?”
The man, Joker, turned towards the cow and shrugged her shoulders.
“There’s nothing much else better to do, Monarca. We’re stuck on a different planet, so why not mess around with alien art?”
“Whatever you say…” Sighing with a frown on her face, Monarca responded. “Just don’t be surprised if they send some sort of regiment after you for assaulting a museum.”
“I’m expecting that to happen. Otherwise, how else would we be able to progress with the chapter? I got the manuscript right here and it says I need to draw on these faces and then a group of armed beings will march in here and ask me to stop.” Joker said, cuffing his mouth with his left hand and snickering.
Monarca shook her head in disapproval. Hearing a set of doors opening behind her, she turned around and saw Spitfire, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, Mono, Lith, Rondo, Jasmine and Stereo all in solid stancing.
“Freeze!” Spitfire shouted.
“Right on cue!” Joke stated, turning himself around and lifting his hands in the air.
Mono, who held the gauntlet in his left arm, faltered in his stance and gazed upon the creatures before him.
“Something’s not right here… Am I seeing a human and a Miltank here of all places?”
“Is there a reason that bothers you so much, Mono?” With her horn cocked towards the perpetrators, Twilight Sparkle asked.
“Kind of. The humans that were transported here turned into Pokémon, so there shouldn’t be any humans on this world. In addition, we didn’t have any Miltanks back in the lab, and this particular one seems to be acquainted with this human.” Mono explained.
The rest of the group dropped their stances and gazed towards Mono with cocked heads. Mono raised his paws into the air and approached Joker and Monarca. Joker chuckled and pointed towards Mono.
“Hehe, you can talk like I can.” He noted.
“I’m using a special device developed in this world that allows me to speak in a language that others can understand.”
“Wait, they gave a Pokémon like you a device like that? So that must mean you aren’t originally a part of this world as well.” Monarca noted.
“That’s right. My name is Mono and you two are…?” Mono introduced, whirling his right upper paw in a circle.
“I’m Monarca, and this psychotic maniac you see here is my companion Joker.” Monarca responded.
“Don’t say it like that! At least add the parts about me being a mentally unstable psychotic maniac that drove several psychologists and psychiatrists into insanity.” Joker chided.
“How is he even understanding you like you were speaking English?!” Mono shouted in disbelief.
“Trust me, you don’t want to know… It’ll drive you crazy as well.” Monarca uttered out.
“So he actually did drive his doctors to the point of insanity?”
“Whether you want to believe it or not is up to you.”
Mono looked towards Joker, who drew a black moustache on an image of Celestia’s face. Mono nodded his head with a gnarled frown on his face.
“I believe you.”
Spitfire stomped her way towards Mono’s side and glared at Joker and Monarca.
“So what did you learn, Mono?” Spitfire asked.
“It is basic introduction. All I know is that Joker is insane. Don’t try to understand his ways because you will never be able to understand them.” Mono responded.
“So it’s Pinkie Pie Logic all over again it seems?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“It seems that way, but this guy seems… scarier on that level.”
Spitfire walked towards Joker’s face and stood her ground.
“Regardless, you caused trouble here. As the commander of H.O.R.S.E., I will detain you for questioning.”
Joker held out his hands and placed handcuffs onto them.
“Let’s give the audience what they want to see then.”
Spitfire scratched the back of her head and cocked it.
“…Audience?”
Spitfire sat alone with Joker and Monarca within a room with a coned light. Around Monarca’s neck is a translation bracelet. Spitfire gazed at the cuffs around Joker’s wrists.
“You know you can take those off now, right? I trust that you wouldn’t do anything.”
“You mean like this?” Joker responded.
Spitfire’s eyes dilated at the sight of the handcuffs that vanished a second after she looked upwards.
“How’d you do that?”
“How’d you like to get on with this line of questioning? Honestly, insignificant questions like that will only make the readers feel like they aren’t getting their time’s worth of content.” Joker said.
Spitfire growled and pounded her right front hoof on the table. She let out a heated sigh and directed her attention to Monarca.
“Just talking to this guy infuriates me. Looks like I’ll just have to get any answers from you.”
“I understand, and I will try to answer all of your questions with the most satisfactory answers I have.” Monarca responded.
“First question; are you aware of the city you are in?” Spitfire asked.
“All I know is that this city’s name is known as ‘Neo Canterlot’, which I got from reading the holographic sign on the museum. Joker and I went inside there after our group split up in the city to look for answers.” Monarca explained.
“Your group? Tell me a bit more about the group you are in.”
“Joker here is the leader of a mercenary group known as the Royal Flush Gang. Give us a contract that pays well and we’ll do any dirty job you have.”
“That doesn’t sound like the most savory job description in the world.” Spitfire noted.
Monarca shrugged her shoulders.
“It puts food on the table. Anyways, Joker’s the only human of the group. Everyone else is a Pokémon.” She stated.
“So tell me, are you in any way affiliated with Opelucid Labs?”
“We share no affiliation with any labs at all.”
“So that means you aren’t from the same group of Pokémon that were transported here several months back. So when did you exactly get here? Spitfire questioned.
“A few hours back when some black hole brought us out of our world and into here.” Monarca responded.
“Tell me more about this incident that brought you here.” Spitfire requested.
“I remembered that our group clashed swords against a rival mercenary group that is known as Checkmate. My group was hired to kill a human known as Gene and the other group was hired to prevent that from happening.”
Spitfire’s nerves tensed upon hearing Monarca’s words.
“Was this ‘Gene’ a troublemaker?”
“I can’t say for sure. We never care about the reasoning behind our mission. We just only care if we get paid enough money to make a living.” Monarca said.
“I can’t say that your faction is setting a good impression on me for taking morally ambiguous hits. Back to the scenario, Royal Flush and Checkmate were fighting and then…?” Whisking her hoof towards her direction, Spitfire demanded.
“Joker here thought it was a good idea to pull a gun into a Pokémon battle and shot an orange filly!” Monarca said with a voice that brimmed with dull anger.
“Scootaloo should not have pushed Doc out of the way! I did the one thing I should never do and that was hurt a child! Just take me away already!”
With these words escaping from his mouth, Joker slammed his face onto the table and wailed with an exaggerated cry.
“Wait, wait, wait and wait! You said an orange pegasus filly named ‘Scootaloo’ correct?” Spitfire stated with a loud tone.
“Is there anything worth noting about that subject?” Monarca asked with utter confusion in her voice.
“There’s an orange pegasus filly that lives in Neo Canterlot and occasionally visits this place. Her name is Scootaloo. Rings a bell?” Spitfire responded, conking her head with her right front hoof.
“So there’s a Scootaloo here as well? Wow, things got a lot more confusing when you add that in.” Monarca noted.
“That’s not important now. I want to know what happened after this joker here shot Scootaloo.”
“Scootaloo had imprinted herself onto the Gene’s Pokémon and mate Belle. Since she is a Gardevoir and Scootaloo is practically her adopted daughter, she got a bit mad. Let’s just say that hurting someone a Gardevoir loves would make the top ten list of dumbest things that a suicidal idiot would do. We got caught in her explosion. Next thing you know, we find ourselves awake in this world.”
Spitfire stood up from her seat and looked into Monarca and Joker’s eyes.
“I’ll have to talk to someone who is an expert on time and space matters outside. In the meantime, try to make yourselves comfortable in here until I get back.”
She walked through the front door, leaving Monarca and Joker alone in the room. Professor Gentian looked through the transparent glass in the interrogation room. He heard the door lift open and looked to his right, where Spitfire walked into the room.
“Did you get all that Professor?” Spitfire asked.
“I’m glad that you picked up on that tidbit of information on Scootaloo, Commander. With that information, I am one hundred percent certain that these Pokémon are not from the same dimension as Keldeo’s or ours.” Professor Gentian stated with a proud smile on his face.
“Wha-wha-whaaaaat?! This asshat of a Joker came from an entirely different dimension than yours?!” Spitfire shouted with fiery confusion.
“We don’t have any Equusians back in the universe I originally hailed from, but it sounds like there are Equusians in his universe. He’s a human and there are Pokémon with him, so that is solid evidence that proves his existence in an alternate version of my universe. Based off of what I heard, the poor saps must have fallen into some dimensional break caused by an absurd ripple of power.”
“That’s an interesting tidbit of knowledge. Should I break the news to them?”
“That wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’m not sure how the human there would react, however. He seems a bit… special.” Professor Gentian advised.
Spitfire walked out of the room and entered back into the interrogation room. She sat on her seat and arched her front hooves together. Monarca looked towards Spitfire with her eyes wide in worry.
“So what is our current situation, Spitfire?” She asked.
“I can confirm that your group of Pokémon is from an entirely different dimension from the first group of Pokémon that came into this world. It seems that you fell into some dimensional break and ended up in our city by chance.” Spitfire explained.
Joker lifted his hand in the air and waved circles with his index finger.
“Yadie-yadie ya! I already know that. Can’t you tell us something we don’t know?!” He asked. “Tell us about that race of aliens that is driving you all to the point of extinction and ask us about how we can help.”
“H-how do you even know that information?!” Spitfire shouted with her voice vibrating with shock.
“Duh! How else could I understand Monarca’s italicized words and tell the readers what is going on? I’ve read throughout the story of everything going on here while you were talking with that Shiftry behind the glass there. Seriously? ‘A New Dimension, A New Threat’? Couldn’t the author have at least picked a better name, like ‘The New Invaders Among Us’ or something? But nope! It has to follow the pattern of the Newverse fics.”
Monarca growled and slapped Joker across his face. Joker placed his right hand on his reddened right cheek. He opened his mouth wide and slanted his eyes, uttering a silent howl.
“I’ve had enough of you reading into some imaginary wall you can see, Joker! Can’t you see that you will only confuse this lady even more?!” She shouted.
Joker let out a silent nod and slumped down into his seat. He crossed his arms and pouted.
“Ummm, what was that about?” Spitfire asked.
“It’s just a part of his mental disorder. He keeps on spouting stuff like ‘we are fictional characters in a fictional setting where we are being read by a handful of readers’. I don’t believe it one bit and it’s starting to become irritating to me.” Monarca explained.
“We have a similar case with Pinkie Pie here, but your case seems to be on a different level. Regardless, where are the other members of your mercenary team anyways?”
“You’ll know when you see them. They aren’t exactly the quietest group of Pokémon you’ll see.”
“Something tells me that I’m in for a migraine with what you said there.” Spitfire said.
“You have no idea. I usually end up having to heal them after their stupid stunts.” Monarca stated.
Spitfire smiled and extended her hoof towards Monarca. Monarca flashed a smile with similar intensity and extended her upper right hoof towards Spitfire.
“You aren’t half bad for a mercenary, Monarca. I just need to sign you two out and you are free to leave.”
Spitfire’s watch rang once more. She sighed and touched upon it, revealing Dune Bug’s head once more.
“C-Commander! We got some sort of big… thing stomping its way through the streets here!” He shouted.
“Tell me more about this mystery creature.”
“I can’t understand a single word it is saying, but it is resisting arrest and is burping in the faces of those trying to apprehend it. We need some assistance, now!”
Monarca frowned and planted her face into the table. She shook her head.
“Ay dios mio…”
“What’s with the Spanish there, Monarca?” Spitfire asked.
“I know a vague description like that from anywhere. He had the misfortune of meeting up with Gordo the Snorlax. He’s fat, mean, vulgar and disgusting. He sounds like he is having one of his temper tantrums.” Monarca explained.
“Something tells me it will definitely not be fun trying to take care of him.”
“It won’t.”
A large and bipedal creature with a dark green body and bloated belly and face colored in cream stomped his way towards a cherry red-coated unicorn mare with green eyes. He picked her up by her neck, where her eyes dilated with fear looked into his slanted eyes.
“Tell me where I am now!” Gordo shouted.
“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t quite catch that. Can you repeat that again?” She asked with a timid voice.
Gordo snarled and unleashed a loud and rancid burp aimed at the mare in his grip. He tossed her aside.
A brown duck with a V-shaped eyebrow and a white leek in his yellow beak descended onto Gordo’s head, landing on it with his yellow feet. He rolled his brown eyes and shook his head.
“Ay Gordo, do you have to really act like un culo gordo and just attack anyone who doesn’t give you answers?” He asked.
“Nobody asked you, Rey. Shouldn’t you be searching for information as well?” Gordo responded with an agitated expression on his face.
“It’s no use. None of the locals can understand what I’m saying. Frankly, I don’t think any of the locals can understand what any one of us can say. It’s just like the humans back in our world.” Rey explained.
“Perfecto. Just absolutely perfecto.” Gordo muttered out.
Fei and Sophia strolled down the street carrying bags filled to the brim with food. He looked towards Sophia and stroked the top of her head.
“It’s nice that the two of us can finally just do something average again, Sophia. It reminds me of the times we used to have when we went grocery shopping.” He stated with a content smile.
“I remember the times you slipped on discarded Nanab peels left behind by Aipoms.” Stifling her giggle, Sophia remarked.
“Don’t remind me… I was trying to forget that.”
“Cheer up Fei. At least no one here is calling you ‘Feiceplant’ anymore after that incident. Isn’t that right, Feiceplant?” Patting his back with one of her ribbons, Sophia said.
“Why must you be so sassy sometimes?” Shaking his head, Fei stated with a soft voice.
“Can’t help it. Wait, hold on!”
The two Pokémon looked upon a horde of screaming civilians running away from Rey and Gordo. Fei stroked his chin.
“Is that a Farfetch’d on top of a Snorlax that the Equusians are running away from?”
“We should probably check them out just to be on the safe side.” Sophia stated.
Rey turned around towards the approaching Pokémon behind him. He tapped the top of Gordo’s head with his leek.
“We got company He shouted.
Gordo turned around and looked down upon Fei and Sophia.
“Good luck running into Pokémon, ey Rey? Maybe they can give us some information.”
“You stomped through this city in a rampage and scared many citizens just because you were looking for information?” Fei asked.
“We didn’t mean to, hombre! We just dropped in the middle of a city with no idea where we are!” Rey reasoned.
“You are in the city of Neo Canterlot, the last-known place of active civilization on the planet Equus that is located on the Terraformed Wilderness continent. It is the bastion of safety from a race of intergalactic warmongers known as the Van’Goth.” Sophia explained with a quick and dull tone. “Now that you know where you are, can you please stop scaring the citizens of this poor city?”
Gordo curled in the claws of his left upper paw and pointed to Sophia with his right upper paw.
“You sound like a bitch. Did your trainer have you fixed yet?” He remarked.
Sophia rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.
“First that Giacomo and now this guy? Why does everyone like calling me that word?!” She lamented.
“Let’s not get on the bad side of the Pokémon here, Gordo. They’re giving us la informaccion que nosotros necesitamos. Let me do the talking and you just sit down with a pretty face.” Rey instructed.
“You are the boss of me, Rey.” Sitting on the ground, Gordo stated with a disappointed sigh.
“My name is Rey and this here is Gordo. We both are part of a mercenary group known as the Royal Flush gang. Who are you two?”
“My name is Fei and this is my partner Pokémon Sophia. We used to work as scientists in Professor Pasque’s lab before being transported here. I used to be a human, but now I’m a Pokémon.” Fei explained.
“Sounds like some sort of voodoo you suffered. So that explains why you are here talking to us now. Can you bring us to a place where we can sound like you? I want to be able to have my language understood.”
Fei looked upon the snarling Gordo, who stared at him with overbearing eyes. A bead of cold sweat dropped from Fei’s face.
“S-s-sure. As long as Gordo over there stops staring at me. It’s kind of intimidating.”
Rey clapped his wings together. Gordo snapped out of his stare and looked above him.
“Let’s not intimidate the nice Pokémon here, Gordo. They’ll take us to a good place where we can be understood.”
“…Fine. But I don’t have to like it.”
“No one said you have to.”
Rainbow Dash flew down towards the intersection that Gordo stood upon and aimed her rifle towards him.
“Nobody terrorizes Neo Canterlot on my watch!” She shouted.
“We have it taken care of, Rainbow Dash.” Sophia rebutted.
Rainbow Dash dropped her shoulders and fiery gaze. She looked towards Sophia with her eyes wavering with confusion and disappointment.
“…Really? Well that’s a boring way to end conflict. I was hoping I would end up engaging this fatso here in a bloody conflict!”
“You must really like the color red, butch. Would you want your blood to stain your body in that color?” Gordo stated with an aggressive tone.
“What did he say?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“You don’t want to find out. Let’s just bring them to H.O.R.S.E. and give them their translation bracelets.” Sophia suggested.
“Alright. I’m ready when you are.”
Saying these words, Gordo stood up from the street. Rainbow Dash bumped Fei’s left shoulder with her right shoulder and brought her mouth to his left ear.
“He’s a big fellow, isn’t he?”